Two Poems About Benzos

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During the process of editing the first poem the second one developed. They might sound very similar and different at the same time.

 

FIRST POEM

 

 

 

Had a problem

Went to the Doc

Got a pill

Doctor stopped it

Suddenly

They told me I was addicted

Was following the doctor’s advice

Get off it they said

Didn’t know I could not

Till then

Wish I had my original problem

Could solve that

Now I have many problems

Been told I am an addict

Don’t know how a patient becomes an addict

Following doctor’s orders

(Trust broken, confidence shattered, memory lost, indecision)

Wish I had my original problem

Could solve that

Because I knew what it was

Was not called an addict then

Just someone who had a problem and was depressed

That was better

Lesson learnt: Knowing the problem

And tackling it

Is better than

Having many problems

And physical symptoms

And not knowing what to do

Will not make the same mistake again

In all the fuss

I forgot my original problem

Maybe that is what the pill was intended to do

At least I can joke about it

We will get through this

It’s not our fault

We are the first of many

Leaders of experience

And we are stronger people for it

I’m more rounded now

Empathetic as well

Don’t know how to end this piece

As symptoms still haven’t left me

Maybe I will back another time

When I’m finished with the pills

Perhaps then

An ending

Can forge itself

As writing anymore

Will be forcing it

 

 

 

SECOND POEM

 

 

Had a problem

Went to the Doc

Got a pill

Doctor stopped it

Suddenly

They told me I have to get off it

Was only following the doctor’s advice

Get off it they said!

Didn’t know I could not

Till then.

Wish I had my original problem

Could solve that

Now I have many problems

Been told I have to get off it

Don’t know how a patient comes to be in this condition

When following doctor’s orders

(Trust broken, confidence shattered, memory lost, indecision at every level)

Wish I had my original problem

Could solve that

Because I knew what it was

Was not told to get off medications too quickly then

Was just someone who had a problem and was depressed

That was better

Lesson learnt: knowing the problem

And tackling it (suffering)

Is better than

Having many problems

And physical symptoms

And not knowing what to do

(Knowing the problem should not be taken for granted)

Will not make the same mistake again

Have a bag full coping mechanisms now, which I use in place of a pill

In all the fuss

I forgot my original problem

Seems to be a distant dream from a previous life now

Compared to what I am going through

Maybe that is what the pill was intended to do

At least I can joke about it

Thank god this pill doesn’t effect our sense of humour

We will ALL get through this

It’s not our fault

We are the first of many

Leaders of experience

Pioneers of pain

And we are stronger people for it

I’m more well-rounded now

Better equipped to handle life

Empathetic as well

Don’t know how to end this piece

As symptoms still haven’t left me

Maybe I will back another time

When I’ve finished with the pills

Perhaps then

An ending

Can forge itself

As writing anymore

Will be forcing it

 

 

 

Edited October 3, 2023 by [...]

[[Je...]]

@[...] "Wish I had my original problem" - isn't that the truth? I guess it is "easier" to prescribe a medication than provide the insight and tools that we could have used to learn how to cope in the first place. But pills are sooo easy, right? We definitely get the benefit of learning empathy. 

I think writing poetry is a terrific!

[Guest [...]]

Very good poems, thanks.

Wish my doctor had stopped it, instead they kept prescribing more. Didn't work so doubled the dose, take it every day, twice a day, three times a day. Kept getting worse and worse and finally I had a Damascene moment and realised it was the stupid drug making me so ill. Doctor didn't have a clue, very few do.

[[Hu...]]

A tiny white pill

that causes depression, sedation and shame

yet it has a bit of fame.

Ativan is the name and getting off it is your life's hardest game