Update from an insomniac 😴

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aussiegal has posted recently on this forum.

 

Hey Becks, Aussiegalrecovery hasn't been on BB since July 14, 2022.

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There's a bb named Aussiegal who recently posted.  Must be a different one.

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Hey X-ray. Yeah most nights I get 4 hours but last night I think I got 2 and I just worked it was hard but I just have the attitude of “oh well” and I just get on with it. I got. Random 6 the other day but that never happens. I usually average 4- 4.5. It’s enough. I’d love 5 every night but not much I can do about it. I make sure I throw everything at my day every day and just live as tho I have normal sleep. Extreme radical acceptance x

 

Did all the chemical anxiety and other symptoms go away or do you just fight thru them? I still have extreme anxiety that causes my muscles to shake uncontrollably sometimes. I just wish this would stop and i could go back to being the happy go lucky person I was just last year. Its amazing how a 2 month mistake could completely ruin my life. I envy you and the strength you have to keep pushing thru this. I used to think I was pretty tough but this recovery has me on the ground and wont stop kicking me.

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There's a bb named Aussiegal who recently posted.  Must be a different one.

 

Thanks Becks.

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Hey X-ray. Yeah most nights I get 4 hours but last night I think I got 2 and I just worked it was hard but I just have the attitude of “oh well” and I just get on with it. I got. Random 6 the other day but that never happens. I usually average 4- 4.5. It’s enough. I’d love 5 every night but not much I can do about it. I make sure I throw everything at my day every day and just live as tho I have normal sleep. Extreme radical acceptance x

 

Did all the chemical anxiety and other symptoms go away or do you just fight thru them? I still have extreme anxiety that causes my muscles to shake uncontrollably sometimes. I just wish this would stop and i could go back to being the happy go lucky person I was just last year. Its amazing how a 2 month mistake could completely ruin my life. I envy you and the strength you have to keep pushing thru this. I used to think I was pretty tough but this recovery has me on the ground and wont stop kicking me.

 

Yes all gone. I remember how awful that was tho X-ray and I had it for a long time. Like so bad I’d spend the first half of the day trying to calm myself down by pacing and crying and breathing and self talking. It was horrendous. I’m so sorry u are going thru that. It definitely goes away tho I promise. I think what helped me was telling myself I had until 8am to panic, cry, google or ask questions on here and then I had to get my shit together and get on with my day. Then I would actively have to swat the bad thoughts and anxiety away all day and distract. It was always worse in the morning and I also had cortisol surges that were really scary so I know how hard it is.

 

It’s all gone. Even on bad days if I feel a bit overwhelmed I am able to focus on just accepting it’s going to be a hard day and there’s a good chance tomorrow will be better. I just get up, and get out the door. I walk every morning for an hour regardless. But mostly I have to go to work and do the school run so life doesn’t end if I have a bad night.

 

It will get better for u too just make a plan for ur day and stick to it xx remember that by making a routine u are telling ur brain what’s normal. So by stressing about it all day every day I get caught in that negative loop that repeats every day. I believe I started turning a corner by harnessing my emotions and telling my brain nope, not going down that road now, we’re heading this way. I retrained my brain away from the anxiety. Sure time would have played a huge role but I also know routine did too x

 

You can do it. U are strong enough. Anything else is a lie. X ur brain is playing tricks on you. Tell it to shut up x

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Hi Shanyna,

 

Just wanted to say I am so glad you are moving on with life and are getting better!  That is encouraging! 

 

You are such a sweet lady!! 

 

Hugs to you!!  :smitten:

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Thanku so much x I hope you are doing okay too toln?xx lots of love from down under x

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How long did you take benzodiazepines and their dosage? how long did it take you to reduce it? My history is in my signature, I am currently 18 and a half months and I have windows and waves. I have days that I sleep 2 or 3 hours in a row and other days that I sleep 4, 4.5 or 5 hours in a row.

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I never took them every day but I was taking them for maybe 2 years before I got sick but I’d go weeks sometimes without taking them, I took them for insomnia but the insomnia I had was a walk in the park compared to what I ended up with. My sleep started getting worse and I started feeling anxious for no reason then I was taking them more regularly. I was also drinking wine to give them a kick, my dr suggested it! Not blaming her coz I stupidly listened. I was on temazepam then when they pooped out started on zopiclone and that’s when things really hit the fan. Then I had to take them every day. I was on 10mg of temazepam,then 7.5mg of zopiclone, then 15mg, then my dr added rohypnol to the mix, then the polydrugging began.

 

So it took me 2 years to get off I guess. I didn’t take rohypnol for long but coming off that was horrific. I don’t want to talk about it. I quartered the first pill of zopiclone and dropped down every 2 weeks, then the last tab I dropped in 8ths every 2 weeks. I brought Valium in in the last couple of months of zop taper and once I was off that it took my 8 months to ween off valium. I did that by using the vodka liquid then swapped to pharmacy liquid valium. U can see in my signature how long I’ve been off both x I’m drug free now. I only take melatonin. I was using unisom for a long time and I gradually weaned off that and I don’t take it now x

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Good to see how much you have improved. Thanks for sharing this.

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Shayna78, Congratulations and much Good Luck.  Hugs, Spazzie