lorazepam withdrawl

[[wh...]]

Slownsteady................. you take the time you need to rest....... I will say a prayer for you for strength. I will be fine in the dose I am on as my axiety level is high and over the weened into the first of next week I want to stay the same if you don't mind after getting the shot on Monday I want to know whats up and not do a cut and then wonder whats making me sick or jittery or whatever.  thank you so much for all your time and sharing your story.  so many levels hit home.  you take care Sir, and rest up.  Please, if you will take care. 

[[sl...]]

Slownsteady................. you take the time you need to rest....... I will say a prayer for you for strength. I will be fine in the dose I am on as my axiety level is high and over the weened into the first of next week I want to stay the same if you don't mind after getting the shot on Monday I want to know whats up and not do a cut and then wonder whats making me sick or jittery or whatever.  thank you so much for all your time and sharing your story.  so many levels hit home.  you take care Sir, and rest up.  Please, if you will take care. 

 

Thanks for your care white river!

 

I think you're very smart to be cautious and only change one variable at a time. I hope the COVID shot goes well for you; many buddies have had it, with very minimal reported issues to my knowledge.

 

I'll be resting! Let us know when you're ready to start cutting.

[[wh...]]

Got the first shot arm a bit sore but seems to to doing fine...... ok, if I stay off and don't cange my taper it will be right at another month.  I feel better, eating small thing and mobile more.  sooooooooooooo I was wondering, and I don't know if its bad or good right or wrong, your the boss....... but if I am at 0.09 four times a day , would I hurt or do nothing or make it worse if I did just go to 0.08 till I am cleared from the shot.  I feel like loosing that month idle may hurt me since I am already with drawing and have been but didn't know it till you explained, then I looked it up and yup, you were spot.  I won't do anything for another week, so thnk about it and let me know.  hope rest is helping....... balckberry picking is here and it is triple diget heat index some days but cool now as only in the 90 degree rand so tie to real the harvest.  I will watch for your reply and take your advice,  thank you so much, we have had 2 death and 4 close friends catch covid so I have been pretty much to myself in prayer the last week.  hard to accept this old world as its going, when at 63 respect honesty and integrity is how we roll, not so for some anymore.  thank you once again

[[wh...]]

hope everyone is ok out there, haven't heard from my usualls.  I am a worry wort so I worry about ya'll if I do not hear back from you.  please be well and hope its just a busy day for you.............................................

[[Pa...]]

Got the first shot arm a bit sore but seems to to doing fine...... ok, if I stay off and don't cange my taper it will be right at another month.  I feel better, eating small thing and mobile more.  sooooooooooooo I was wondering, and I don't know if its bad or good right or wrong, your the boss....... but if I am at 0.09 four times a day , would I hurt or do nothing or make it worse if I did just go to 0.08 till I am cleared from the shot.  I feel like loosing that month idle may hurt me since I am already with drawing and have been but didn't know it till you explained, then I looked it up and yup, you were spot.  I won't do anything for another week, so thnk about it and let me know.  hope rest is helping....... balckberry picking is here and it is triple diget heat index some days but cool now as only in the 90 degree rand so tie to real the harvest.  I will watch for your reply and take your advice,  thank you so much, we have had 2 death and 4 close friends catch covid so I have been pretty much to myself in prayer the last week.  hard to accept this old world as its going, when at 63 respect honesty and integrity is how we roll, not so for some anymore.  thank you once again

 

This is your taper and if you want to hold then you should, you're the only person who can determine what is in your best interest at this point.  You've educated yourself, you've taken the advice of some very helpful members and you've really caught on to how this works, so whatever you decide to do I'm sure will be right. 

[[sl...]]

sooooooooooooo I was wondering, and I don't know if its bad or good right or wrong, your the boss....... but if I am at 0.09 four times a day , would I hurt or do nothing or make it worse if I did just go to 0.08 till I am cleared from the shot. I feel like loosing that month idle may hurt me since I am already with drawing and have been but didn't know it till you explained, then I looked it up and yup, you were spot.  I won't do anything for another week, so thnk about it and let me know.

 

I agree with Pamster; this is your taper. But I'm also not clear what's being discussed here; could you remind us what your current dosage schedule is, and how you're measuring your doses? The numbers 0.09 and 0.08 four times a day don't remind me of anything we've discussed.

[[wh...]]

ok, until I got my pill spitter and scale and things, I was scissor cutting and eyeballing.  you corrected me in my adding errors and I was so sick and thought I was not taking as big as doses down as I was.  you found the error and I went back up to stabaize.  now, I have gained 2 ponds and am feeing pretty good, do the things I shoud be.  be the virus is made us number 2 in the us and we got our first shot Monday, and I thought if I had a reaction I shoud hod to see if it was the cut in my meds or the shot.  but I fee pretty good and so I am at 0.09 four times a day ...... I wanted to drop the 2 o cock but you said to wait a bit on it.  so I was thinking I know its not as big as cut as you would probably sugest but I do not wanna be sick for the second shot either.  so... is dropping from 0.09 to 0.08 too small?  I believ , if u remember we taked about me being in withdraw and not knowing what it was that was making me so sick this last year.  so I either had to go up in dose.................... NO WAY EVER  or start tapering.  so, whats your suggestion on my taper next?

[[sl...]]

ok, until I got my pill spitter and scale and things, I was scissor cutting and eyeballing.  you corrected me in my adding errors and I was so sick and thought I was not taking as big as doses down as I was.  you found the error and I went back up to stabaize.  now, I have gained 2 ponds and am feeing pretty good, do the things I shoud be.  be the virus is made us number 2 in the us and we got our first shot Monday, and I thought if I had a reaction I shoud hod to see if it was the cut in my meds or the shot.  but I fee pretty good and so I am at 0.09 four times a day ...... I wanted to drop the 2 o cock but you said to wait a bit on it.  so I was thinking I know its not as big as cut as you would probably sugest but I do not wanna be sick for the second shot either.  so... is dropping from 0.09 to 0.08 too small?  I believ , if u remember we taked about me being in withdraw and not knowing what it was that was making me so sick this last year.  so I either had to go up in dose.................... NO WAY EVER  or start tapering.  so, whats your suggestion on my taper next?

 

Hi white river!

 

I'm glad to hear you're feeling good and that you're getting on well with the pill splitter. I still do not understand what "0.09 four times a day" is. Last I remember you were undecided on what dose to choose between 4mg and 6mg/day and how much to take at each of your four dosage times.

 

Could you update us on your current dose schedule and the amount of medicine you take at each dose? 

[[wh...]]

ok, I am scared now because I weighed each 2 mg pill and on pi is 0.13  and I take 3....... 2mg a day, unti I got myself very unstable by scissior and eyeball cutting, till you came to my rescue.  and tod me I was at a much bigger cut then I thought, and I figured that is why I was so ill and could not eat or function.  so I asked and went to 0.09 which was a smear cut for each of the 3 pills and I dose every 6 hours.... 2.... 8...... 2......8.  you said u used to do that and we may try later to merge the 4 pills to 3 but not now till I stabilize.  its been almost 2 weeks, appetite is increasing, nausea going away, much more energy , cooking and gardening and taking care if chickens and bees. and hubby figured it was an in between cut ..... I have cut but now am stable. so do u understand what I have done? cuz now I am scared I messed up again.  3 pills...... each weigh0.13 grams.  take 3 daily, but I cut back instead of 0.13 I am now at 0.09 per pill but I dose 4 times a day so I divide and have a bout 1/2 pill left over out of three pillls per day....... not much but how I was so irratically cutting I had my system so screwed up.  I am doing good as far as feeing much better, but now feel I screwed up again.  so I will not put numbers down ti u tell me what I done right or wrong.  I am such a bother................. please have patience, I will get it one day, because my determination is there, the smarts is not.  I promise, I will find a way to make this up to all of u, will wait to hear from you

[[sl...]]

ok, I am scared now because I weighed each 2 mg pill and on pi is 0.13  and I take 3....... 2mg a day, unti I got myself very unstable by scissior and eyeball cutting, till you came to my rescue.  and tod me I was at a much bigger cut then I thought, and I figured that is why I was so ill and could not eat or function.  so I asked and went to 0.09 which was a smear cut for each of the 3 pills and I dose every 6 hours.... 2.... 8...... 2......8.  you said u used to do that and we may try later to merge the 4 pills to 3 but not now till I stabilize.  its been almost 2 weeks, appetite is increasing, nausea going away, much more energy , cooking and gardening and taking care if chickens and bees. and hubby figured it was an in between cut ..... I have cut but now am stable. so do u understand what I have done? cuz now I am scared I messed up again.  3 pills...... each weigh0.13 grams.  take 3 daily, but I cut back instead of 0.13 I am now at 0.09 per pill but I dose 4 times a day so I divide and have a bout 1/2 pill left over out of three pillls per day....... not much but how I was so irratically cutting I had my system so screwed up.  I am doing good as far as feeing much better, but now feel I screwed up again.  so I will not put numbers down ti u tell me what I done right or wrong.  I am such a bother................. please have patience, I will get it one day, because my determination is there, the smarts is not.  I promise, I will find a way to make this up to all of u, will wait to hear from you

 

I'm still scratching my head here. I seems like you're talking about pill weight grams. If so, this would be 0.13g and 0.09g.

 

The last we spoke about tapering, I suggested holding until stable and I suggested holding at doses that were easy to cut with your current pill size (2mg) and a pill splitter; namely 0.5mg intervals between 4mg and 6mg. We did not make it to discussing pill weight or how to calculate a safe dosage reduction and begin using your scales.

 

I'm glad that you're feeling better, and it just seems like some information about what you've been doing has been left out of the thread; therefore when you asked about going from 0.09 to 0.08 I had no reference for these numbers.

 

It sounds from your message that you take three 2mg pills per day, and you cut them down to 0.9g per pill from 0.13g originally, and then you divide these three pills amongst your four doses. Am I understand this correctly?

[[wh...]]

yes, because I had been cutting with a scissor and eyebaing it.......I was on my own and pretty much still am.  so when u refigured I had taken a arge cur of just over 20 percent and it send me to the floor sick.  not right away about 4 days.  so some said they had to take it back to a comfortable pace and hubby figured this.  that is why is said I did not write any numbers because he had them and I didn't know how he came up with them.  they have my meds on 90 day pic up at 90 per month of 2 mg.  I can't get it changed til I see doc in 2 months.  I am sure he' do it as we have talked but I have these here and that is what I done what I done.  told ya I wasn;t the smartest tool inn the shed.  am I ok?  I feel good and I have extra pill left so I must be doing something ok????????????????????  but I wi do your pan, I just know that the first was to big of a change and my body went nuts.............. I am sorry if I disrespected you in some way, didn't mean to.  thought it was out that it was too big of a drop.  now what?????

[[sl...]]

yes, because I had been cutting with a scissor and eyebaing it.......I was on my own and pretty much still am.  so when u refigured I had taken a arge cur of just over 20 percent and it send me to the floor sick.  not right away about 4 days.  so some said they had to take it back to a comfortable pace and hubby figured this.  that is why is said I did not write any numbers because he had them and I didn't know how he came up with them.  they have my meds on 90 day pic up at 90 per month of 2 mg.  I can't get it changed til I see doc in 2 months.  I am sure he' do it as we have talked but I have these here and that is what I done what I done.  told ya I wasn;t the smartest tool inn the shed.  am I ok?  I feel good and I have extra pill left so I must be doing something ok????????????????????  but I wi do your pan, I just know that the first was to big of a change and my body went nuts.............. I am sorry if I disrespected you in some way, didn't mean to.  thought it was out that it was too big of a drop.  now what?????

 

That you're feeling good is good news to me! You'll be the best judge if you're okay.

 

It's fine with me if your husband has a tapering plan you both agree to. You never updated us on what dosage you decided to stabilize at or any other tapering details. So when you asked if 0.09 to 0.08 was a good idea, there was no way I could possibly answer.

 

Your message starts with the word "Yes". Are you saying, yes, you take three 2mg pills per day that each weigh 0.13g, and you cut them each down to 0.09g per pill, and then you divide these three shaved pills amongst your four doses?

[[wh...]]

yes so each dose is 0.09.  Pease forgive me I thought I was doing it right.  it was inbetween the ireadict doses curt with scissor and eyebaed and then I took one day and earned about the scales, pill cutter and took the inbetween and said I am staying here ti I stabablize.  so now what how bad did I mess myself up, cuz I don't have time to be doing this to myself again, and I am pretty much on my own.  one cut was al he did and figured I was good to go and that's a I am gonna get so its me myself and a very determined I........................................................................... I am sorry

[[sl...]]

yes so each dose is 0.09.  Pease forgive me I thought I was doing it right.  it was inbetween the ireadict doses curt with scissor and eyebaed and then I took one day and earned about the scales, pill cutter and took the inbetween and said I am staying here ti I stabablize.  so now what how bad did I mess myself up, cuz I don't have time to be doing this to myself again, and I am pretty much on my own.  one cut was al he did and figured I was good to go and that's a I am gonna get so its me myself and a very determined I........................................................................... I am sorry

 

It's really going to go a long way to making sure we're talking about the same thing if you can use units. Units are things like inches, miles, meters, pounds, etc. 0.09 doesn't tell me much. 0.09g says that it's 0.09 grams which implies pill weight because I'm familiar with them, but it's good to mention this is what you mean as well. So saying each dose is 0.09 grams or 0.09g in pill weight will be really helpful.

 

I've gathered now that a full tablet weighs 0.13g, and each dose you're taking is 0.09g. Since you're dosing 4x per day, and I'm assuming each dose is the same, I understand you're taking 0.36g of pill weight per day, which is 5.5mg of lorazepam.

 

Take your time and check in with your husband before writing back if that helps! It's no rush here. Let me know if I understand your situation now, and then we can talk about your next reduction, if that's what you'd like to discuss. 

[[wh...]]

ok, you all have to decide if you can hep me along the way as hubby just said he didn't sign up for this.  so, I am not bringing my problems to you, but with the virus so bad I am unable to go anywhere for any help...... and I believe I have the best help here.  I really wish I had someone who could walk me through this, and I do, God.  He wil always be with me, but I am so much stringer then I give myself credit for, and I didn't come all this was and loose all I have lost to quit.  I am going to be fine, one day, and until that day comes I will need help.  I can somehow repay, that's a given.  but please ya'll  I am that determined.  this is my fauy, I get that, but I was not told about this drug and after 8 years of living with dad and being a full time care I am up for anything. If I can help one person after my journey gets me to where I need to be, just one, it was worth the cost.  and it cost me my famiy.  ,

[[wh...]]

he says hes done, he didn't sign up for this, and that's ok.  I do have another friend who is in AA.  but you are correct in what it is.  each 2 mg, pill weighs 0.13.  I cut down each pill to 0.09 gram and I have three pills per day but divide them by 4.  I want to get rid of the 2 am one but you had said we needed to hold up on it.  so while I have almost a month for my 2 shots, I was thinking why sit idle if I am feeling good, a small bit to go to would be 0.08.  that way I can still tell if its the pill or shot.  but I will listen to you, yes I know its my taper, but the advice of yous is good and I know I make the finale decision..... the more he puts on me the more determined I am.  this is my time to get myself back and I am taking it. 

[[wh...]]

now is not the time to change up too much my second shit in a litte less then 3 weeks.  I just know that my time is running out here and I didn't want to sit ide but I can't afford to mess up the shot either as it will only be me soon.  I pray you all don't get rid of me, but I understand if you do.  if someone can after 43 years, ya'l surly can after a month. 

[[sl...]]

he says hes done, he didn't sign up for this, and that's ok.  I do have another friend who is in AA.  but you are correct in what it is.  each 2 mg, pill weighs 0.13.  I cut down each pill to 0.09 gram and I have three pills per day but divide them by 4.  I want to get rid of the 2 am one but you had said we needed to hold up on it.  so while I have almost a month for my 2 shots, I was thinking why sit idle if I am feeling good, a small bit to go to would be 0.08.  that way I can still tell if its the pill or shot.  but I will listen to you, yes I know its my taper, but the advice of yous is good and I know I make the finale decision..... the more he puts on me the more determined I am.  this is my time to get myself back and I am taking it.

 

Awesome attitude white river. This is your taper, and I'm glad to hear you're going to run it as best you are able. It sounds like your relationship with your husband has ups and downs; maybe you'll learn to work together on this, but for now, I think you can handle it yourself. You seem to understand the details, how to use the scales and how to dose. That you're feeling good and gained some weight is really great news.

 

Let's look at how to do reduction math. I'll try to make it as simple as I can.

 

In your journal, I suggested you write down your daily dose. This would normally be the total milligrams of medicine, but to make life easier, I suggest just recording your pill weight for now and maybe add a note that says 0.13g = 0.5mg tablet in the margin or something.

 

First let's look at your suggested reduction. Right now all your days doses add up to 0.36g and you'd like to reduce every one of your doses by 0.01g (from 0.09g -> 0.08g).

0.01g x 4 doses = 0.04g reduction of pill weight

0.04g reduction / 0.36g current daily dose weight = 0.111, an 11% reduction to your daily dose

 

An 11% reduction isn't absurdly large. But it's not where I suggest starting. Instead of reducing all of your doses by 0.01g, why not reduce the 2am dose by 0.02g? This is a 5.5% reduction, and will make gentle progress in removing that 2am dose.

 

0.02g reduction of 2am dose / 0.36g daily dose = 0.055 or 5.5% reduction

 

What do you think of the following for your new dosing schedule?

8am - 0.09g pill weight

2pm - 0.09g pill weight

8pm - 0.09g pill weight

2am - 0.07g pill weight

 

If you want to try this, I suggest making the dosage change, and then holding for one to two weeks, or until you're really feeling "good" again. It sounds like you're starting to learn the signs (appetite, attitude, etc), and I think you'll know when you're ready for another reduction.

 

Any questions or corrections? This is all, as usual, up to you. 

[[wh...]]

sounds good.......................... I will wait one week till I am just past the first shot mark.  then I will have a better handle on what is what and I love that we reduced that 2 am, altough I wake up at that time like cock work so I can go back to sleep but determination is strong here and I will be just fine.  you see he is coming up for back surgery and I will take care of him and not think twice.  he on the other hand had his fill when I took care of dad and he wi not forgive for that.  but all is going to be fine ....... no stopping me now.  thanks to you and a coupe others, I know this is not no walk in the park..... there are gonna be bad, realy bad days.  but I have my God and I will be fine as the litte life I have I am going to enjoy.... sad part about it, if things do not go we with his surgery I wi be here no matter what.  cuz I still love him more today then 43 years ago.  mean as he is!!!!  I was taught for better or worse................. you don't throw away any one.  thank you so very much.  your such a giving and understanding person.  I wish you coul :thumbsup:d see my journal, scales cutter, al set up. everything but the smarts I need to figure with!!!!!!!  thanks Sir!

[[Pa...]]

You're in a tough spot but you've learned so much in such a short time I'm very impressed.  I've always thought that the more we know the less we fear when it comes to this process and you've jumped in and hit the ground running learning all you can.

 

I see a can do attitude in you to get this done and I'm confident you will. 

[[je...]]

White

 

You are making excellent progress! Keep up the positive attitude and just remember we are here for you. 

[[sl...]]

sounds good.......................... I will wait one week till I am just past the first shot mark.  then I will have a better handle on what is what and I love that we reduced that 2 am, altough I wake up at that time like cock work so I can go back to sleep but determination is strong here and I will be just fine.  you see he is coming up for back surgery and I will take care of him and not think twice.  he on the other hand had his fill when I took care of dad and he wi not forgive for that.  but all is going to be fine ....... no stopping me now.  thanks to you and a coupe others, I know this is not no walk in the park..... there are gonna be bad, realy bad days.  but I have my God and I will be fine as the litte life I have I am going to enjoy.... sad part about it, if things do not go we with his surgery I wi be here no matter what.  cuz I still love him more today then 43 years ago.  mean as he is!!!!  I was taught for better or worse................. you don't throw away any one.  thank you so very much.  your such a giving and understanding person.  I wish you coul :thumbsup:d see my journal, scales cutter, al set up. everything but the smarts I need to figure with!!!!!!!  thanks Sir!

 

Yes, with this reduction schedule you will be putting some pressure on yourself to learn how to sleep through the night, or at least return to sleep at 2am with more and more of your own non-medicated abilities. Don't be afraid to experiment to find sleep tricks that work best for you.

 

I took about two months to eliminate my 2am dose, and I still sometimes struggle to sleep again when I wake up in the night; it's just part of the journey. At least I don't get woken up at 2am by an alarm any more! That alone is worth the struggle.

 

I'm really glad you're happy with your tapering setup, journal, scales, etc. I believe that even though this is a strange and painful process, it's possible to infuse the instruments and the ritual of dosing with vibrations of love and appreciation. Life throws us challenges, and for those of us around BB, benzos have been or remains one of them; no reason not to make the best of it!

 

Keep us posted! You can also update your signature if you want to show your daily total as 5.5mg, and after this 2am 0.02g pill weight reduction you will be at 5.23mg. Progress!

[[wh...]]

ok, major storm here, massive rain and wind and electricity is on and off................................. will look at this better in the am as a migraine with the storm, cooling down this week end and humidity is working me up to a major headache, so I am gonna ice pack it down to try and avoid a migraine oil.  a couple months ago, I would have just took one, now I say.................................. nah, not until you HAVE TO........................ thank you all for the compliments and checking in on me.  hubby is the love of my life, but he is just not with me on this and I can not make him, nor do I want to.  it was a lot on him also, and then after the 8 years caregiving he , the same month had cancer surgery.  so, I will continue to love and not push, what I done, I done to my whole family, and that's a big gulp to swallow, even though I did it, I just trusted the wrong person, and that's on me.  Gosh, what a extended family I have gained.  thank you all........................ hugs

[[je...]]

Hi white river

 

Just checking in to see how you're doing?

[[wh...]]

It has been the worst year ever..... the last couple months we have lost many close friends to covid, we are the top state or stay within the top 3 of terrible numbers, no hospital room, and I am utterly ashamed I have been only able to hold my own..... I did get the shots and knew I didn't want to go down with that issue, but I personal can not see it getting any better soon, so I have prayed on it daily for ever and I am ready to take the next cut.  Slownsteady and jelly baby, you are the two along with seasalt who have been my arms and legs, although many of you have checked on me.  I am at 00.9 three times a day with my night time 2 am cut , took me down to 00.7.  slownsteady, I can't say how it affected me other then not much sleep anyways... I am on my own on this, I became obsessed with the covid fear and added more shameful pressure on myself over not stepping down in the time I had figured and meanwhile, it landed me pretty much solo, and I have accepted that and I am determined to push forward.  soooooooooooooo.... with that, slowandsteady whats a suggestion that will help but not put a lot on me as I can't handle failure after wading through what I am still in, and doing this alone.  but something is better then nothing.  so if you are still willing to help me, and take my word I have not slippied up, not once, I am ready, if you are.  thank you all so much, seasalt, I love ya!  you pulled me out once again ..... hope this finds everyone well.