Protracted and Feeling Better Now

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TheWay2: I appreciate the fact that you messaged me back so often when I was really struggling early on. You definitely gave me a better understanding of the insomnia part of withdrawal, which was my first brutal symptom.

 

Penny: Thank you for the compliments about they music. I'm really glad the songs gave you some comfort. I know we exchanged some PMs during the course of healing and I appreciate that as well.

[[st...]]

I’m so happy for you!  It really shows you can still get better even if you swear you won’t. You were so sure you’d never get any better. I was wondering when your anhedonia got better. DPDR and anhedonia are some of my worst symptoms. I can’t feel anything anymore and can’t even cry and I used to be very sensitive and a huge crybaby.

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stereotokyo, the DR/DP and anhedonia just slowly got better. I don't really know the exact timeline for those two symptoms going away completely.

 

I'm currently in a mild wave, probably because of the massive heat wave going on in the state of Montana, which has led to poor sleep and poor moods and anger. Hopefully it passes when my central air gets fixed today.

 

Overall though, things are much better than they were in the summer of 2018 and the summer of 2019 and even much better than last summer.

[[st...]]

stereotokyo, the DR/DP and anhedonia just slowly got better. I don't really know the exact timeline for those two symptoms going away completely.

 

I'm currently in a mild wave, probably because of the massive heat wave going on in the state of Montana, which has led to poor sleep and poor moods and anger. Hopefully it passes when my central air gets fixed today.

 

Overall though, things are much better than they were in the summer of 2018 and the summer of 2019 and even much better than last summer.

Thanks for answering and sorry you're not doing so well again. I think I’m similar in that I do feel better than last year a bit but the changes are so microscopic sometimes. Hope you pull out of this and start feeling better again soon.

[[ja...]]

Omy goodness thank you for your in-depth recount of your healing and symptoms.  It is so reassuring for me.  Thank you thank you.

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Omy goodness thank you for your in-depth recount of your healing and symptoms.  It is so reassuring for me.  Thank you thank you.

 

You're welcome, Janice. It all gets better with time.

[[He...]]

Wow! Thank you so much for taking the time to post your story. It was truly helpful and informative and inspiring. I'm going to check out your albums too.  Many thanks to you and enjoy your healing.

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HelenHMB, I'm glad you found this helpful and inspiring. I really wanted to make sure I wrote a success story that was as detailed as possible when I finally felt ready as they helped me so much as I went through the ordeal.

[[ge...]]

Are you still continuing to improve?

 

Jim

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Yes, I actually am. I went on a five-day trip to San Diego for business at the end of July, beginning of August. I was unable to keep up with my normal nap schedule during the trip, and I experienced a three or four day wave upon getting home. But now I'm fine again and feeling as good as I felt most of July, if not better. Definitely continuing to get better every month.

[[en...]]

Hi Boom Box Boy.Your story reads just like mine. I am disabled Veteran. I was treated for twenty years with klonopin, then it was cold turkeyed .... I am 48 months off in September, still struggle with massive windows and waves, intrusive thoughts, panic.... awful stuff. Your story inspires me that the shit will end.

 

I appreciate you and rejoice for your healing!

 

Mike

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Keep going, Mike. Things do improve. I wasn't on near as long as you were so maybe it will just take a little longer. I was on about five years off and on and then off for a few years then I went back on for a few months and had the bad reaction that I did. I really never thought I would recover. I was in a 24/7 wave for a long time and was desperate. I still feel waves but I'm feeling better more than I feel bad now. Never thought the day would come.

[[Th...]]

Dude! Congratulations!! I knew you would make it!!!

[[...]]

Thank you for sharing your success story. This inspires me a lot!

[[Ga...]]

I am 74 years young and just listened to your music.....love all of it!  I hope you get some great commercial success!!!

 

GG

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Dude! Congratulations!! I knew you would make it!!!

 

Thanks, AtivanExperience. I remember talking to you while I was at my worst and you had recently had an uptick in symptoms after being better for a little while. I appreciate the PM conversations when I was struggling.

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I am 74 years young and just listened to your music.....love all of it!  I hope you get some great commercial success!!!

 

GG

 

Gardenguru, appreciate the compliments about my music. Unfortunately having commercial success is pretty darn difficult to do with music recordings as I've come to find. Thanks for giving the music a shot.

[[Be...]]

BBB, glad you're doing better now.

[[30...]]

Hi BBB,

Thank you so much for all of your honesty and humility and I have copy and pasted your success story to my phone.  I am sure you are way too busy in life right now but wondererd if you might be willing to help me out a bit.  I am a therapist, living in Texas, and was working until just a few months ago when my taper went very south very quick and I began to have incredibly disturbing intrusive thoughts about my family (who I love).....with this comes a wave of internal agitation/terror almost like an adrenaline rush that doesn't subside.  I sit in abject horror at the thoughts and images and then my mind tells me the only way this will stop is if I take myself out.  I am not, have not been suicidal - in fact have no psych history at all pre meds and was placed on for adverse reaction to antibiotic.  But it is overwhelming.  I am grappling with this daily and it leaves me at best fatigued and at worst clutching for dear life to the side of my bed.  If I read, hear, or see anything that is the least bit provocative, violent, scary, etc -- it sends it all back and I begin to have really dark thoughts about myself and a few people I love dearly.  Until I read your posts I had never known another to grapple with this.  To say it is disturbing is an understatement - it interrupts my entire life.  I am sure you don't want to be brought back to thinking about this particular version of your hell -- but if you or anyone else reading this who has had similar symptoms could write back -- I would so appreciate it. 

[[bo...]]

Hi BBB,

Thank you so much for all of your honesty and humility and I have copy and pasted your success story to my phone.  I am sure you are way too busy in life right now but wondererd if you might be willing to help me out a bit.  I am a therapist, living in Texas, and was working until just a few months ago when my taper went very south very quick and I began to have incredibly disturbing intrusive thoughts about my family (who I love).....with this comes a wave of internal agitation/terror almost like an adrenaline rush that doesn't subside.  I sit in abject horror at the thoughts and images and then my mind tells me the only way this will stop is if I take myself out.  I am not, have not been suicidal - in fact have no psych history at all pre meds and was placed on for adverse reaction to antibiotic.  But it is overwhelming.  I am grappling with this daily and it leaves me at best fatigued and at worst clutching for dear life to the side of my bed.  If I read, hear, or see anything that is the least bit provocative, violent, scary, etc -- it sends it all back and I begin to have really dark thoughts about myself and a few people I love dearly.  Until I read your posts I had never known another to grapple with this.  To say it is disturbing is an understatement - it interrupts my entire life.  I am sure you don't want to be brought back to thinking about this particular version of your hell -- but if you or anyone else reading this who has had similar symptoms could write back -- I would so appreciate it.

 

I sent you a PM.

[[Bo...]]

Thank you very much for posting your story. It’s much appreciated.

[[bo...]]

You're welcome, Bookworm. I hope it has helped you during your healing process.

[[Sh...]]

I keep reading your story over and over trying to give myself hope. I’m struggling severely with intrusive thoughts. I’m terrified of not being able to pull through this.

[[bo...]]

Shellbell, it will get better over time. It might take longer than you want it to though. If you want to PM the nature of your intrusive thoughts and anything else you are experiencing, feel free. I'm more than willing to exchange some PMs with you if you think it would be helpful.

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