Would love some encouragement -- 2.5 years of this insomnia

[[Si...]]

Siggy,

 

Thank you for sharing a little bit more of your history and the tip on dealing with heat. I hope (obviously) that my sleep healing is linear and just gets better and better like it does for some people. But, I understand that may not be the case with me. I'll have to wait and see.

 

The fact that you went from horrible insomnia to occasional 9 and 10 hour nights is inspiring, nonetheless!

 

HM

 

I've seen some pretty hard core insomniacs here, some even worse than me, all eventually get better. So I have total faith that it will work out for everyone else here. It just takes a lot (too much) time. But your brain is healing every day. So keep pushing forward and don't get too discouraged. 

[[He...]]

I got my first 4 to 5 hour night in over a month. For me, that's pretty good. I just had a zero night last night. Just proves it is very unpredictable. I hope everyone had a good nights sleep last night and all is well.

 

Happy Friday,

 

HM

[[Ta...]]

Hi Heartmost, I really feel what you are going through. This can be so unpredictable. One night  we can have decent sleep (4 good hours) and the next few weeks can be torture. The last two weeks have been a torture chamber for me. Up at all hours, listening to relaxing guided meditations, or basically anything that used to work, won't work.

 

I am headed to the recreational marijuana place today, and am going to ask them for an edible to help with sleep. I used it before when I was in my first year off benzos, and cognitive impairment didn't matter (because it was so horrendous anyway, I might as well get sleep!). I stopped to let my brain heal naturally, but at almost 4 years off, I'm okay with getting some occasional help. If the cognitive impairment gets too bad from the edible though, I won't use it.

 

I wonder of I will ever have a decent night sleep again. I can't imagine going to sleep, sleeping for 7-8 hours, and actually feeling refreshed? I never feel refreshed. Hoping ONE DAY this dream (lol) will come true!

[[He...]]

Hi tater,

 

Thanks for the post. Did you ever used to sleep a full 8 hours before or during benzos? I did. I had hypersomnia at one point and slept 10 to 12 hours a night. Hard to believe. We all have to be happy and content with what little sleep we get (or a lot of sleep). Your brain is still healing (it has to be) and there is still time for your sleep to get better.

 

Thanks, again, for posting,

 

HM

[[Ta...]]

Hi tater,

 

Thanks for the post. Did you ever used to sleep a full 8 hours before or during benzos? I did. I had hypersomnia at one point and slept 10 to 12 hours a night. Hard to believe. We all have to be happy and content with what little sleep we get (or a lot of sleep). Your brain is still healing (it has to be) and there is still time for your sleep to get better.

 

Thanks, again, for posting,

 

HM

 

Its funny that you should mention it, HM, but I had hypersomnia while on benzos, too. I actually was on 8 drugs at one time and slept 10-12 hours a day as well! I tapered off all of them rapidly, leaving the benzp for last and that is when all hell broke loose. But yes, I could sleep and sleep and sleep. My partner jokes that all this insomnia is just my body saying it got too much sleep before, but obviously that is not how the brain works. Plus, that was drugged sleep and experts say that it was not truly beneficial sleep with deep REM. Still, I miss it!

Thank you for reminding me that our brains are still healing because they are.

Wishing you well (and better sleep soon!)

🙏 😴

[[Bl...]]

Mine never went away and I never had this before benzos either .  I would luxuriate 9 hours no matter when I fell asleep , now I have to have extreme blackout curtains and silence and all kinds of extreme stuff because I can't handle any light at all to be able to sleep . I am going to paste what I posted the other day on another thread its still what I would tell you here anyway .

 

I HAD to do something . I have already been through 5 years of taper and then  2.5 trying to recover and my family and my therapist begged me to go back on my cannabis gummies and over the last 2months I have been sort of getting a routine down that works . I HAVE to go on , I cannot spend the rest of my life on the couch or in bed complaining. I have to/WANT to  go back to work and I have got to keep moving . Sleeping 2-3 hours a night for this long is just as hard on your body as the rest of the stuff we have gone through

 

The pasted part :

My sleep never returned , so finally recently after 2.5 years off I went back on my indica/CBN ( NOT CBD) gummies . Its the only thing that made me feel normal again really .

I bugged everyone here about it before I did it too , I felt like I was a failure .

 

I was trying just melatonin  and I would get three /four hours then not be able to go back to sleep , same with cannabis alone .. so I dissolve one 3mg melatonin tablet under my tongue very slow , over an hour then take 1/4 a THC/CBN gummy (2.5-3 mgs thc /2mgs CBN)  under my tongue after that and I can rest all night . The melatonin relaxes me because I still have a great fear of insomnia .

I never had sleep problems before being on benzos either , I was a 9 hour girl and loved to sleep ..

 

I do ALLLLLLLL the other sleep hygiene things too including a warm shower WHILE letting the melatonin melt

 

I alternate between these two

1/4 of one of these

https://weedmaps.com/brands/wyld/products/wyld-elderberry-1-1-thc-cbn-enhanced-gummies?filter%5BbadgedOnly%5D=true&origin=brand

Or 1 -1.1/2 of these

https://greenstoneretail.com/product/kiva-petra-mints-blackberry-cbn-21/

[[Th...]]

Is there anyone on this forum that has been going thru this insomnia long term? Would love to hear from people who have been thru insomnia for this long and healed.

 

I started tapering in sept 2018 and finished it all up last august -- and to say that this is getting me down in an understatement.

 

I have had hundreds of zero nights and now over 2 years in my insomnia is just as bad as it was before with another zero sleep night. It seems the waves stretch on and on and the windows very rarely come. 

 

Has anyone had insomnia that never went away?

 

thanks

 

Hi, you're not quite a year off yet.  My first year off felt like "forever" so I can totally relate.  Many on this forum had severe insomnia (myself included).  However, many had far worse insomnia than I did; MTFan and EastCoast come to mind.  I also know Siggy and Alohafromhawaii had it pretty bad too.

 

I was told that time is the healer, but I didn't want to believe that.  I was "certain" I could "cheat" the system or find a shortcut or something someone else had not thought of or tried yet to get past benzo-induced insomnia.  But there truly isn't anything out there short of another Rx drug.  Time truly is the healer.  And the good thing is time always passes no matter what.

 

Trust the process and the advice from the Benzo "warriros" on the this forum.  I know, way easier said than done especially when you are in the thick of your WD.

 

Sleep comes back in fits and starts.  It's very UP and down and very non-linear.  It has no rhyme or reason and often makes no sense whatsoever.  But sleep slowly comes back and gradually it evens out and returns.  I'll be 5 years off next month (August 5, 2021) and I am doing really well.  You'll get there too.  Promise! 

 

[[Ta...]]

Thanks ThEwAy2, it is always nice to hear from you and get your perspective. I hope we all remain optimistic that it will get better.

[[He...]]

Just wondering how you're doing, Ocean, if you still log in here. I hope you're doing OK and hanging in there.

 

Take Care,

 

HM