Would love some encouragement -- 2.5 years of this insomnia

[[oc...]]

Me , I started taper of a really huge amount 2/2014 and finished 12/18 and  was still EXTREMELY bad for 6 months after , I have had very bad insomnia ever since . Last month I finally went back to a cannabis edible and sleep much better. My therapist and my family pretty much intervened , this was bad . I just could not go on like that . I was 3-4 hour nights . I dont take any other meds . I walk 6 miles daily and practice with my horses and still .... I am 2.5 years totally off

 

You didnt have any problems with cannabis edibles? Doesnt this affect the gaba receptors like benzos do? I know that a year ago I had 1/4 of a glass of wine and it really messed with my head -- you dont having any prblems like this with cannabis?

 

I know what you are talking about with not being able to go on like this -- I am not getting sleep but i have to get up and get things done and deal with real life problems. My brain never gets a chance to rest and its just wearing me down.

 

I hope you get better and start healing soon. 

 

Hi ,

Actally reading about that here ( affecting the gaba receptors) is what made me stay away for so long but then we were talking about this in the Cannabis support thread here also because it was a terrible fear of mine  and that there is little to no effect on them actually and its different from the benzos .  That many many things including excersize  and breathing certain kinds of airborne pollution is GABAgernic ( sp) .

 

  I smoked 6 TONS of Indica to get down off this mess and in acute had to slam on the brakes and go without anything , my body  just broke in acute . But now I am mircrodosing , you can google that and also go to you tube to learn about microdosing , there is alot of educational stuff out there to learn about it. People are doing that now instead of just getting blitzed .

 

    I am using an edible thats 2.5 mgs of THC and 1mg CBN NOT CBD,, CBD had never done anything for me . Anyway I only use it at night to relax , I cannot even feel it , I just fall asleep , I dont really even feel sleepy and I wake up fine . I do wake up in the night  still , so I am not dead asleep but I am able to put myself back to sleep again and many nights now I dont need anything .

I have had moderate cognitive issues  since really the last months of taper  with pretty severe amnesia.  Still I really struggle to remember alot still and this has had no effect on that  , I have motor skill issues also and that also stays the same .

 

Since I am able to sleep better my days are not just filled with fear about the coming night and I seem to feel just a whole lot better overall . I am not just out of it in the morning at all but I had started to get very VERY black thoughts ( you know ) for some reason with the insomnia and that needed to come to an end .

Go check out the cannabis thread in the More Support section of the forum it has alot of very useful information .

 

Thanks for making that detailed responce , I appreciate it

 

Ill starting reading about all that this coming week. Gonna go read that thread and get started there.

 

And I do know what you mean about the black thoughts -- last night was very bad for that again as I was up until 6am and only slept a few hours. Ive not heard of CBN but will def look into that. Thanks!

[[pi...]]

Hi Ocean,

 

I had bad insomnia until about 6-8 months ago. Now I sleep reliably fine. sleep got gradually better over 3 years and now its close to normal, no issues to report. its how it was pre benzos

[[oc...]]

Hi Ocean,

 

I had bad insomnia until about 6-8 months ago. Now I sleep reliably fine. sleep got gradually better over 3 years and now its close to normal, no issues to report. its how it was pre benzos

 

Well im coming up on 3 years in september since starting this taper (finished it a year ago) and the insomnia is still pretty bad. Its not improving much. Maybe it will get better maybe it wont. dont know anymore.

[[Si...]]

Hiya aloha!

 

Same here. I had some extreme insomnia too. My worst symptom by far. Sometimes I’d go 2 or 3 night with no perceptible sleep. But like aloha I was actually falling asleep for 20 seconds at a time. I didn’t believe it, so my wife recorded me snoring! It’s not much, but it will keep you alive. I’m mostly better now. I’ve had a few setbacks, so that sucks. But for the last year I haven’t missed a night. Sometimes I can hit 9 or 10 hour sleep in one night and some nights now I can barely stay awake, and that can be after drinking two cups of coffee earlier in the morning.

 

Aloha and I came up in the trenches here together. Along with a few other hard core insomniacs. As far as I know all of them are sleeping much better now,

 

I never took too many meds after this all went down for sleep. Magnesium, epsom salt baths,  Hydroxyzine, Tryptophan, essential oils, acupuncture we’re some if th main things I utilized.

 

I think taking a prescribed vitamin D helped since my blood level was so low.

 

Sorry to hear all of you are having such issues. I know all too well how that goes. Those 0-2 hour nights are just terrible. It can get better for sure.

[[He...]]

Hiya aloha!

 

Same here. I had some extreme insomnia too. My worst symptom by far. Sometimes I’d go 2 or 3 night with no perceptible sleep. But like aloha I was actually falling asleep for 20 seconds at a time. I didn’t believe it, so my wife recorded me snoring! It’s not much, but it will keep you alive. I’m mostly better now. I’ve had a few setbacks, so that sucks. But for the last year I haven’t missed a night. Sometimes I can hit 9 or 10 hour sleep in one night and some nights now I can barely stay awake, and that can be after drinking two cups of coffee earlier in the morning.

 

Aloha and I came up in the trenches here together. Along with a few other hard core insomniacs. As far as I know all of them are sleeping much better now,

 

I never took too many meds after this all went down for sleep. Magnesium, epsom salt baths,  Hydroxyzine, Tryptophan, essential oils, acupuncture we’re some if th main things I utilized.

 

I think taking a prescribed vitamin D helped since my blood level was so low.

 

Sorry to hear all of you are having such issues. I know all too well how that goes. Those 0-2 hour nights are just terrible. It can get better for sure.

 

That's so good to hear! Insomnia is my biggest symptom. I have that and mild GAD. Other than that, my taper is tolerable so far. Thank you for the words of encouragement about sleep coming back and getting better. I miss my old hypersomnia days when I would sleep 10 to 12 hours and bitch about it! Now, I am in the 0-2 category but at least most nights I sleep a little.

 

Thanks again

 

HM

[[Si...]]

Hi HM, 

 

Just keep in pushing forward, as much as it sucks. You’ll get there. If I can make it through the brutal insomnia I had, I have faith anyone can. 

[[He...]]

Thanks, Siggy 

[[Si...]]

You’re welcome! 

[[Sh...]]

Thanks for coming back siggy. It’s great when the insomniacs that have healed come back to give us a pep talk. It means alot x

[[Si...]]

Thanks for coming back siggy. It’s great when the insomniacs that have healed come back to give us a pep talk. It means alot x

 

Hey! Yep it fit sure sucks, but at least you know there aww tree others that have been through it and we’re able to heal. 

[[Sh...]]

I was talking to freida8. Do u remember her siggy? She said he insomnia felt like she was a cork in water. She kept popping up to the surface (awake) unable to stay under (water). That’s exactly how it feels for me. It’s very strange

[[He...]]

Most of the time, I simply can't fall asleep but, sometimes, I'll fall asleep several times very briefly and have the cork thing happening. That's a good analogy.

 

HM

[[Sh...]]

It is right? Sometimes when it happens I’m like? Wtf? Why am I awake? I was just rolling around with Henry cavill and bam I’m awake.  Worst timing everrrrr brain 

[[He...]]

Shayna,

 

  For the most part, I have pleasant or at least interesting dreams so it sucks to wake up mid dream and not be able to go back to sleep. I did OK last night (for me). I feel asleep 3 times, I think, for a little while. I'll take it over a zero night anytime. Looking to be healed like Siggy! I'm hanging in there. We are having a heat wave where I am at for the next week. It's 100 today and it will be 110 tomorrow. Thank God, I have AC in my bedroom!

 

Happy Sunday,

 

HM

[[Sh...]]

I got 6.5 hrs last night?!? Random haven’t had that much in a very long time. X yep as long as we get some anything is better than zero x I’m greatful to have a good night but I won’t expect it again. Will take what I can get x

[[He...]]

Shayna,

 

Congratulations on your sleep last night! Random, but proves your brain is healing. I am happy for you

 

I had another 0 to 3 last night. Fell asleep a couple times for a little while and woke back up. 90% of the time that I do sleep, it's around 2 to 5 in the morning. I'm not sure why.

 

Have a great day, everyone,

 

HM

[[Sh...]]

I think I got an hour last night. But I’m staying away from home. Wish I was home in my own bed. X it hurts more when ur not in ur own space! As usual I’m the only person awake. Such a lonely situation x

[[He...]]

Shayna,

 

Sorry about your hour but glad it wasn't a zero. It is harder when you are staying away from home. I hope tonight goes better for both of us.

 

HM

[[Ru...]]

Hello Everyone....it has been awhile since I have been here on Benzo Buddies.....I think I am about 3 years off Benzos and SSRI's......I am still having insomnia.....there were times and weeks that I have slept....in fact...just a few weeks ago...I was doing pretty good and feeling good...then BAM...now horrible sleep....I feel like crap every day...when I wake up....I feel so wide awake and very anxious....I am not a worrisome person...I let things go and don't worry, but this feeling comes on by itself...weird anxiety.....I eat right, exercise, do all the right things, in bed at 10:00 p.m. or 10:30 p.m.  ..sleep hygiene is great....so what is wrong?    Sometimes it seems my eyes won't shut at night....and it feels like I did sleep.....very strange stuff.

 

I have tried every supplement and vitamins...I will take vitamins, then I think they are causing the insomnia..then I quit vitamins...and then go on to another supplement....tried 5-HTP, L-Theanine, melatonin (may work sometimes, but not like it used to).....I cannot even drink de-caf tea, like chammomile...I drank a cup the other night, before bed, and it did the opposite, kept me up. so no more tea.....

 

It is so hard to function the next day, but I just push my way thru....I am getting too old for this 60 years old..

 

I am going to try Aloha's thing....L-Tryptophan....haven't tried that yet...my cupboard is full of supplements!!!  It is hard to believe that this can go on this long.....I also have Tinnitus and this strange leg thing, like a inside movement I get every now and then....I NEVER HAD THIS before taking these horrible drugs...I do not trust doctors anymore I TRUST MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[[He...]]

Runnergirl,

 

 

  Hello:) It may not be the supplements helping or hurting your sleep. It may just be a coincidence. I am sorry your sleep is not great right now. I feel your pain. hang in there and you'll have another window come along and help your sleep and anxiety.

 

 

[[He...]]

Hello everyone,

 

So, last night, I got between 3 and 4 hours of sleep. I got about 3 hours without waking and that's unusual so I am grateful for it. We had a heatwave in WA State, where I live and my air conditioner topped out at 76 degrees. I am so temperature sensitive that, even with that, I had the covers kicked off and couldn't sleep. At about 3am, it cooled down and I feel asleep until after 6am. I hope I get a stretch of sleep tonight that's even better.

 

Have a great Tuesday, everyone, and  i hope you all sleep well tonight

 

HM

[[Re...]]

Hey, I’m nearly 7 months off now and still sleep doesn’t feel like it used too yet, I also really struggle more than I ever used to with heat sensitivity at night. Even if I’m slightly warmer than what is ideal I find it impossible to sleep. Sounds like this is a standard thing. Some nights I get six to seven hours which is great considering I was going 4-5 nights at time with 0 when I came off, then I’ll have a week of 1-2 hours a night and it feels like the dark days of withdrawal again. Also really struggle with any time I have to sleep anywhere different from my own bed. I used to be able to sleep anywhere. I also wake up so easily if there’s any noise or light, the birds making a racket early in the morning is my absolute nemesis at the moment, had a little joy with some white noise though. Keep going everyone. This is easily the worst symptom and seems to take forever to get better.

[[He...]]

Hi Red,

 

  I am happy to see you get 7 hour nights compared to your low of zero hour nights. Sorry if you still have issues. Hang in there. It is obviously getting better over time. I have noticed the quality of my sleep is getting better even if the length is slow to increase.

 

Hope you have a great Tuesday and a great night's sleep tonight,

 

HM

[[Si...]]

Sorry about everyone still having problems. It probably took me a few years to get somewhat back to normal. I would have some good stretches here and there. I think I may have had more setbacks here than anybody I've heard of (other than people that started back on benzos and then quit again). So that wasn't helpful. I've had three setbacks so far. One lasted 10 months, one was about 4 months (the most brutal of them all), and then 7 months. Each time the insomnia was REALLY bad. But each time I got back to being normal.

 

I still have nights where I occasionally might only sleep 3 or 4 hours. Or I sleep more, but wake up a bunch. But I have stretches now too where I can consistently get 7 or 8 and even occasionally 9 or 10.

 

I live in the Southeast and it has always gotten sweltering hot here during the summer. And there is a massive amount of humidity on top of it. One thing you can do is take something frozen and wrap it in a towel and then put it under your neck. That can help cool your body down pretty well as it will cool the blood circulating through your body. I like the frozen lunch bag packs, but you can use frozen peas or whatever else you might have in your freezer. 

[[He...]]

Siggy,

 

Thank you for sharing a little bit more of your history and the tip on dealing with heat. I hope (obviously) that my sleep healing is linear and just gets better and better like it does for some people. But, I understand that may not be the case with me. I'll have to wait and see.

 

The fact that you went from horrible insomnia to occasional 9 and 10 hour nights is inspiring, nonetheless!

 

HM