Medium term CT

[[ma...]]

hi pamster sorry for the late reply, i didnt see your one.

He is benzo wise in the sense that he didn't just gloss over it, he figured lets tackle benzo withdrawal like any other kind of trauma and find ways to manage the associated stress. i think thats a reasonable approach.

 

so im coming up to 4 month, probably a bit better than at 3 months, or just different. Still mega twitchy, but the morning anxiety is gone and replaced by afternoon anxiety. I feel almost perfect most days till about 11am/lunchtime, and head downhill and feel anxious for the rest of the afternoon.

 

still always a battle against the health anxiety, after the neuro gave me the all clear i am just constantly second guessing their opinion, but i know that that is an unhealthy behaviour and am doing my best to get on with life.

 

I mentioned a couple months ago that I got a big promotion, well i start the job on wednesday and i am very excited. works been a really nice distraction from everything else lately.

 

Hope everyone is doing well.

[[Pa...]]

I'm surprised to hear your anxiety has changed from morning to afternoon, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised about anything related to benzo withdrawal and recovery.

 

I'm happy to hear you've found work to be helpful, I worked full time too and it really helped pass the time, are you nervous at all about starting the new job?  Many members report anxiety can cause an uptick in symptoms so be prepared just in case.

 

Happy to hear your therapist didn't dismiss your symptoms, I agree with the approach, I hope it helps you. 

[[ma...]]

4 months today

 

symptoms definitely changing. Used to wake up feeling very anxious every morning, now mornings are ok, some afternoons i get a spike of anxiety that lasts till bedtime, but mostly ok.

 

windows in the twitching are getting better, some days i barely notice any at all, other days i got a few hours of constant twitching in one area.

 

mouth stuff settled down for the most part except when im stressed, ill get jaw clenchy and a buzzing/numb feeling in my lips and tongue that make me feel like im slurring my speech (although noone else can tell)

 

Overall slightly better than 3 months, but still a way off healed, but thats ok.

 

full body mri tomorrow mainly to look at nerve damage in one of my legs caused by repetitive weightlifting related back injuries causing disk issues on my right leg, but thankfully is not a neurological disease like i had been obsessed with for 9+ months this year (and still am when im anxious ,but rationally know im ok)

[[Pa...]]

I'm amazed you can discern progress, I didn't track my symptoms so I felt like I hadn't improved at all which led to a mindset of hopelessness, you're taking a much better approach. 

 

Let us know how the MRI turns out, it's strange that we feel comforted by actual physical damage to our bodies to the neurological phantoms we're constantly presented with. 

[[ma...]]

got my MRI back, it sounds scary but the doctor reassured me these are all minor things (most likely birth defectS) and dont need further investigation.

Doctor recommends a follow up in a year to see if no progression but most likely it's all to be expected given denervation in my RH leg, and repeated back injuries.

 

 

The foci of high signal intensity in the reight frontal and peritrigonal regions are non-specific. Demyelination is unlikely but followup is recommended. Normal cord, conus, and cauda equina.

 

Non compressive disc bulges and central protrusion at L3-L4 and L4-5. Intramuscular abnormality on the right in the paravbertebral muscles at l1-l2 with an appearance suggestive of a benign venous or lympathic malformation.

[[sa...]]

Hi.  Always so grateful to all of the support and understanding I feel when here.  I am in week  three of taper .. Xanax  taking 0.5 mg three times daily.  Without realizing it was probably to large of a cut, I cut by 1/3...  have been on 0.5 in early morning, 0.25 mid afternoon and O.25 at night.  It has gotten much better, and I am going to hold here for a couple of weeks.  I want to comment on mouth issues.  I kept feeling as if I’d burned the roof of my mouth, but knew I had not eaten anything hot.  My gums also hurt.  After reading comments here I realize it , along with several strange symptoms is common.  Sorry that others are experiencing this, but it made me feel somewhat better.  Also have allergy like  symptoms, stuffy nose, ears ringing, but have learned from this supportive site that these are fairly common symptoms.  Hope everyone continues to keep the faith and look forward.  Thanks to all...

[[ma...]]

first update in a while. seems like the windows and waves might actually be taking shape properly. Moreso the symptoms change a lot. I had no mouth issues for prob 1.5 months but they are back now.

Weird burning sensations and twitching still happen, but reducing overall.

cautiously optimistic despite being in a "wave" right now.

5 months on friday.

[[Pa...]]

It's so disconcerting how the symptoms change on us, it keeps us off balance and unwilling to trust we're healing, I'm glad you can sense things are going in the right direction. 

[[ma...]]

month 5 and im really not doing well at all..

burning lips, tingling tongue, tight neck, runny nose, nasal drip, weird crampy achey hands, crazy fatigue and tired eyes.

nothing medically wrong with me that anyone can find

[[Pa...]]

I used to get so discouraged with each passing month, I kept expecting to feel better, especially when I hit 6 months but this process has it's own timetable and it's different for all of us.  Are you having any windows?

[[Be...]]

month 5 and im really not doing well at all..

burning lips, tingling tongue, tight neck, runny nose, nasal drip, weird crampy achey hands, crazy fatigue and tired eyes.

nothing medically wrong with me that anyone can find

 

You are doing really really well.  Remember you are healing - this won’t last forever.  When I get really really bad I tell myself that this is my brain healing & one say this will all be over & you will look back at this and marvel at the strength you never knew was inside of you. Be kind to yourself.  You got this.

[[Th...]]

I believe one of the worst things anyone can do is put a timeline on when we think symptoms should lessen or end or we should start feeling better, getting longer windows, etc.

 

This only sets us up for failure and disappointment when it doesn't happen.  "It is what it is and it ends when it ends."  I repeated that mantra all the time until my WD did end.

 

The other mistake I made was looking at the healing/recovery timelines of others and trying to make them my own.

 

Unfortunately WD and subsequent healing and recovery is unique to each person and no two experiences are alike it terms of symptoms, intensity, and how long they last.

 

Hang in there, this is all TEMPORARY and it will end one fine day!

[[ma...]]

had a good 1.5-2 weeks after my last post, must be a wave again. neuropathy, twitching, fatigue, stress, mouth problems came back after they had gone away for a couple weeks

[[Be...]]

had a good 1.5-2 weeks after my last post, must be a wave again. neuropathy, twitching, fatigue, stress, mouth problems came back after they had gone away for a couple weeks

 

It’s hard having a wave after a good window.  You’re doing really well. I know you don’t feel it right now - but you are.  Please be kind to yourself. You’re healing - you’re getting more & more towards being healed.  You got this!!