Made it two months!

[[RS...]]

Thanks Trina.  I agree, getting rid of them was taking control.  Not complaining was something I had to learn.  Believe me, I used to complain about a lot of things all the time.  All it did was make me more anxious and miserable.

 

Now I try to go out of my way to see the good around me.

 

Great to have you as a buddy too!

[[Re...]]

RShack, I am very interested in your coping skills and your tools you used from CBT. I sometimes wonder if it is really helping going to therapist! This is my 4 th one. I feel like I’m just having conversations with a friend sometimes. I really like them but don’t know what I am suppose to be getting out of it. I have done exposure therapy for ocd and I think it helped but don’t really know how to use it for other things. I really liked this therapist but she moved.

[[RS...]]

Hi Redbird,

 

Yeah it took me several tries to find the right therapist.  I went through three or four of them myself before finding the right one.

 

His methods were based on David Burns’ book Feeling Good.  I can’t do it justice here but it involves reprogramming your thought process from the automatic negative and self-critical, to seeing the positive—not in a goofy and unauthentic way, but to be realistic and see things for what they actually are. 

 

Some examples of flawed thought processes: 

 

All or nothing thinking, I can either be happy or I can be depressed. 

 

Filtering out the good and only seeing the bad in a situation and then unfairly blaming yourself for the bad, never taking any credit for the good.

 

Labeling yourself as being defective or beyond repair. 

 

So a lot involves constantly being on the lookout for these traps and then stepping back and honestly evaluating the situation.  Of course there will be times when you feel anxious or depressed, it’s just that now they don’t cripple me.

 

You have to keep working at it.  I did my therapy before coming off of benzos, but now that I am off of them, I find it easier to put these into practice—mainly because coming off of benzos has made me feel much more calm and so now I am starting from a position of strength.

 

I hope you can find a therapist and some techniques that work for you.  What Burns teaches in his book appealed to me and fit my personality, it might not be a good fit for you.  Best wishes to you on your journey.

 

PS:  I love to watch the birds and I have a lot of nice Cardinals at my feeders.  Makes me happy to see the birds flying around.

 

[[Re...]]

Cardinals are my fav. Bird! Thanks for your response.Im wondering if I bought the book if it would help with ocd too.

[[RS...]]

One of my favorites too!  They are our state bird...but many states also have it as their bird.

 

The book is a dense read at times, so be prepared to skim some things.  I went through it with my therapist and he gave me exercises to do based on it.

 

I think David Burns has a TED talk on YouTube too.  Might give you a good overview.

 

Good luck!

[[Re...]]

Thanks a lot! Cardinal is our State bird also but what makes it special is my Mom loved Redbirds and she would say it was a love note from Jesus! So every time I see a Redbird I get excited! Thanks so much for taking the time to answer my questions! Hope you continue to do great! The worse is behind you!

[[De...]]

Thanks everyone.  I appreciate the thoughts.

 

Yesterday I had a bad day.  Lots of burning sensations and I was unmotivated didn’t sleep much last night.  But I know how to handle it and today I feel good again.

 

Hi everyone I’m new here and not sure how to post but i need some advice I was only on benzodiazepines (lorazepam 0.5.mg) for 2 months and my body got addicted to it and would go into withdrawals if I didn’t take it. I decided with the help of my primary doctor to stop cold turkey. She gave me propanalol to help with symptoms and it worked and stopped taking it after the first week or so. I am now 3 weeks cold turkey having trouble sleeping, burning/tingling skin and horrible anxiety does anyone know how long this lasts for ? I know it just depends on the person but just trying to get Hope

[[Tr...]]

Hi Desertvibes,

 

I am  a short term user as well. The first 3 months off are the hardest, then the next 3 months get better but still challenging. It’s different for everyone but it takes between 12-24 months for most people to completely recover, but it does get better as time passes. I took other meds to try get through the pain and it just made things worse and delayed my healing process. So once off all meds, did I feel like I was really starting to heal. It’s hard, but take one day at a time. Try get off all meds and let your body heal itself. This was the best advise someone gave me, he was also a short term user and he completely healed in 18 months and had all my symptoms.

[[ja...]]

 

Some examples of flawed thought processes: 

 

All or nothing thinking, I can either be happy or I can be depressed. 

 

Filtering out the good and only seeing the bad in a situation and then unfairly blaming yourself for the bad, never taking any credit for the good.

 

Labeling yourself as being defective or beyond repair. 

 

So a lot involves constantly being on the lookout for these traps and then stepping back and honestly evaluating the situation.  Of course there will be times when you feel anxious or depressed, it’s just that now they don’t cripple me.

 

You have to keep working at it.  I did my therapy before coming off of benzos, but now that I am off of them, I find it easier to put these into practice—mainly because coming off of benzos has made me feel much more calm and so now I am starting from a position of strength.

 

 

 

Thank you so much RShack for this.

i took a couple of rescue dose and thought that my life was over, then my husband reminded me that it is not over and that it will just take time for my brain to sort itself out.

i went on benzo because of the all or nothing vision of thing. i can also relate to unfairly blaming myself for the bad.

it seems like going through benzo withdrawal forces us to develop coping skills, self love and forgiveness to survive.

 

it is so good to know that recovering from benzo gave you more strength. we need more posts like yours.

[[RS...]]

@[de...]

 

The first couple months were the worst.  I still get burning skin from time to time when a wave hits, but it is much less intense.

 

Good luck to you on your recovery.

[[ro...]]

Thank you for posting a good story & ideas.

 

Your post encouraged me.

I was worried about how and when to jump, but I decided to jump in my first plan.

 

Congratulations! brave, smart warrior! Well done!

[[RS...]]

Thanks roita and best wishes to you for your success.  You can do it, and even though I’m not fully healed, I’m in a much much better place now.

 

 

[Guest [Ka...]]

RShack ... keep on keepin' on!

 

Best,

 

Kate   

[[Re...]]

Hey Kate! How are you doing? It looks like you are off K! Are you having any symptoms? I’m so happy for you!

 

Redbird Flies

[[RS...]]

Thanks Kate.  Been riding a rough wave since Friday.  I’ve been on vacation since last Wednesday until this Wednesday and so my stress levels are super low.  Burning skin,especially on my feet.  Unmotivated, crabby, and angry.  I can’t focus on anything.  I spent all day yesterday laying down in the backyard listening to the birds.  The Robins were singing a nice song though...so not a total loss.

 

I’m still able to sleep.  I had a nightmare every night,but was able to wake up before it got bad. 

 

I know it will get better.  Besides, I had 11 good days this month, so I can’t complain about a few bad ones.

 

 

[[RS...]]

Well, I made it 5 months.  Unbelievable.  I do not have much to say as things haven't changed too much since my last update.

 

I've been trying to find a reason for why a wave will hit.  Was it something I did, ate or drank?  I sure as heck can't figure it out.  I can't even pin it on stress, as my worst wave hit me while I was on vacation...and all I was doing was sitting in my backyard reading! 

 

The point is, we can get to a point where we think too much about things.  As an engineer, I am prone to over-analysis.  So for the rest of the summer I am going to try to just let things flow....its summer and so I will just float on through. 

 

Last month I was at the around 51% good days, and 49% bad.  But the good days were really good, the bad days were bad, but not as bad as in the early days.  I really do not like the hot weather.  Im always uncomfortable, it is difficult to sleep.  But I am not going to let it get to me.  I'm just so happy to be off the ativan...no more telling myself Im going to get off of them, no more feeling bad after refilling my prescriptions.  I'm actually becoming a real person again, and it is nice to really feel things...good and bad, as opposed to the drugged up empty feelings I used to have. 

 

I am enjoying myself so much more this summer.  What's that?  Yeah my feet are burning...a wave is coming....it's ok, I can handle this. 

[Guest [Ka...]]

RShack,

 

Five months is totally awesome!!  Not having to do those monthly trips to the pharmacy, showing my drivers license and feeling bad about myself were on the "reasons I want off benzos" list I made before I started tapering. 

 

Enjoy the remainder of your summer and keep us updated.  We are happy to share your joy!!

 

Best,

 

Kate. 

[[tr...]]

Rshack: Congrats! you always keep pushing through and never complain! You know I'm always rooting for you!