Fall 2019 jumpers

[[ga...]]

Hi fall jumpers. Been thinking of you. How are you doing?

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Hi Gardener!  I'm doing exactly the same--same as I was pre-jump.  How are you doing?

[[ga...]]

Hi Gardener!  I'm doing exactly the same--same as I was pre-jump.  How are you doing?

 

I'm glad you're not having what people call "acute."   It was the same for me for a month or two. No change. Then I started to see subtle improvements. Then I decided to start tapering my gabapentin which put a monkey wrench into the whole thing. Being impatient does not pay off!

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I know; I tried to start tapering Gabapentin and it was ok at first then not so much. I went back up on the dose but not all the way. I might wait a little longer before I do it again or at least go much slower. I found out it was also helping with hot flashes.  I'm thinking it's better than being on HRT.

[[Bl...]]

Hi guys, it’s great to be off benzos.

Anyone here knows if my estrogen levels can return back to normal after a while of quitting?

My levels were very low.

Sending you a lot of healing vibes

Blossom

[[...]]

Hi guys, it’s great to be off benzos.

Anyone here knows if my estrogen levels can return back to normal after a while of quitting?

My levels were very low.

Sending you a lot of healing vibes

Blossom

 

I don't know for sure, but my guess is yes.  I remember reading here on BB about someone who was having some routine bloodwork done and I forget which hormone or whatever it was, but they said after they jumped it took a while but they watched things go back to normal.

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Gardie, restless legs is horrible. I had it for a while and very annoying.  Magnesium is supposed to help, but some people can't take magnesium in withdrawal. Here are some other restless legs remedies:  https://archive.earthclinic.com/cures/rls-restless-leg-syndrome.html

[[Bl...]]

Hi guys, it’s great to be off benzos.

Anyone here knows if my estrogen levels can return back to normal after a while of quitting?

My levels were very low.

Sending you a lot of healing vibes

Blossom

 

I don't know for sure, but my guess is yes.  I remember reading here on BB about someone who was having some routine bloodwork done and I forget which hormone or whatever it was, but they said after they jumped it took a while but they watched things go back to normal.

Thank you so much for your response.

I hope it does for me...

I am afraid I won’t be able to get pregnant

[[...]]

My guess would be that if you're that young then your body will bounce back more quickly. Praying for you!

[[Ma...]]

Hi Fall 2019 jumpers,

 

I took my last dose on December 5th 2019, so I am 5 weeks off klonopin today.  How are y'all feeling?  What are the main symptoms of post withdrawal you've been experiencing since jumping?  My days vary widely and any sort of stress puts me in fight or flight mode where I am unable to think clearly at all, so acute anxiety is my main debilitating symptom.  It is not all the time, but when it kicks in I am incapacitated.  Regardless, I am so happy to be joining this thread.  Love to you all.

[[Ra...]]

I can't wait to join y'all in about 32 days.  Almost done with my last bit of Clonazepam.  Been on it since  2005 and have been tapering since November of 2017!  It's been a long haul and I can't wait to get rid of my lab equipment.  I'm so happy and congrats to everyone who jumped! 💞💞💞

[[Bl...]]

My guess would be that if you're that young then your body will bounce back more quickly. Praying for you!

Thank you so much, I’ve been depressed because of this. Praying for you too...

Blossom

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Maitri, welcome!  I'm feeling pretty much the same as I did pre-jump which isn't very good, LOL.  But i haven't had the extremely bad times I did before I jumped so that's good.

 

Hi, Raquel; you're getting there! It was 2005 that I went on Ativan, too, so a long road, too.  I started tapering July 2016.

 

Blossom, thanks for the prayers!

[[Ma...]]

Thanks for the welcome AF1!

 

What are the things you guys are doing to support yourselves during post-withdrawal recovery?  I have started doing yoga, have cleaned up my diet and started meditating as well.  I feel so much better at night than I do in the first half of the day which I am learning is because of higher levels of cortisol in the morning. How do you guys make it through the day?  I am looking for some new avenues to try rather than just muscling my way through the day until 3pm when things start to get a bit easier.  I've found I have started to obsessively try and find youtube videos of people with success stories post-taper and I know this is not healthy.

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Maitri, I'm the same way with feeling better later in the day. I try to walk a few minutes on the treadmill most days--I'm up to 6 minutes, LOL.  Better than nothing. I'm stuck on the couch for now so I do a lot of knitting.  Makes it bearable just sitting here.  I don't know; seems like watching success stories would be a positive thing. Much better than hearing the horror stories. 

[[Ma...]]

Hey all,

 

How is everyone feeling today?  I woke up with terrible anxiety and racing thoughts and forced myself to sit in meditation for 20 minutes.  I have resisted meditation for so many years because it felt so uncomfortable as I cannot slow my racing thoughts but this go round I've learned that the goal of meditation is not to stop the thoughts but to acknowledge them as a way of becoming aware of them.  I am having to learn to accept reality rather than run away from it which is what I did for years with a benzo.  Whenever anything was tough or unpleasant I tried to make it go away with my little pills.  Training the mind is tough work and when combined with the morning cortisol surges, very anxious work as well.  I have been researching adrenal cocktails as a way to mitigate some of the intense morning cortisol.  Here is a link I found on another thread: https://stopthethyroidmadness.com/adrenal-cocktail/

Have any of you tried this? I am trying to find any relief at all for the mornings as they always feel so punishing.

Much love,

Mai

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Maitri, I'm actually familiar with that cocktail, although I don't think I did it long enough to see if it helped.  I have to limit carbs because of blood sugar so I think that's why I didn't keep doing it. Orange juice has a lot of carbs.  There are actually herbal mixes that lower cortisol. I don't know if they would agree with us in withdrawal, though.  I hope that cocktail helps you.

[[Ma...]]

Maitri, I'm actually familiar with that cocktail, although I don't think I did it long enough to see if it helped.  I have to limit carbs because of blood sugar so I think that's why I didn't keep doing it. Orange juice has a lot of carbs.  There are actually herbal mixes that lower cortisol. I don't know if they would agree with us in withdrawal, though.  I hope that cocktail helps you.

 

I don't think I can sign off on the cocktail to aid in anxiety.  I have felt increased anxiety and more wave like symptoms since starting it.  I also think the sugar and carbs in the orange juice or coconut water help that fact at all.  I noticed the most reduction in my symptoms after I overhauled my diet to reduce sugar, carbs, dairy and grain and eliminate caffeine, refined flour and alcohol.  I am going to stick with this diet and forge on.  I don't think I adequately understand my adrenals and cortisol responses in order to have faith in the adrenal cocktail for what I was attempting to use it for.  Next on my list to try are fish oil and collagen supplements.  Anyone have any positive experience with these?

 

Love,

Mai

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Maitri, I take fish oil. Polar Power brand salmon oil with vitamins a and d in it.  I also take a whole foods vitamin c called Pure Synergy or something like that. Vitamin C is supposed to be good for adrenals. 

[[Bl...]]

Buddies, I'm very sad.

I think this whole withdrawal thing is going to end up killing me, I am very tired of always having something and being sick. I am only 32 years old, about to turn 33 february 4th.

I feel I will die young because of this and for everyhing my poor body has and keeps going through.

Today I felt some nodes on my neck. I don't know what it could be.  Probably just lymph nodes? Or something else?

I am concerned, my knees have been inflammed for a while, like a year almost. I am comcerned this generalized inflammatiom wont go away and I will end up with cancer

I am also prepared for the worst

Blossom

[[Ma...]]

Blossom

 

Try and remember that this anxiety you are having is part of post-withdrawal brain and that we are all still very new to being off these drugs and our bodies and minds are in a very sensitive state.  I have woken up with anxiety every morning this week and it is everything I can do to get the thoughts to slow down and to try and stop ruminating.  I've been stuck in thoughts of how much life I wasted while on the Benzos (20 years).  I worry that I have given up my ability to have a family and a career and that I have irreversibly negatively changed my health for the worse.  I also have knee and back pain.  My knees are creaking and popping and when I look in the mirror I feel like I have aged overnight.  I've read in success stories that the inflammation and extreme aging go down and reverse over time and I am choosing to believe that that will happen for us as well.  When I get into super dark thought patterns, I actually start talking out loud to myself and tell myself to stop and to name things I am grateful for.  They can be super small and commonplace but usually one grateful thought leads to another and I can come up with a list of around 10 things.  This distracts me from the spinning negative thoughts for long enough that I am able to start a new, more positive thought pattern and stop the spiraling.  You can start by telling yourself that you are grateful to no longer be taking a pill/pills each day as that is always a great starting place.  Much love,

 

Mai

[[Bl...]]

Blossom

 

Try and remember that this anxiety you are having is part of post-withdrawal brain and that we are all still very new to being off these drugs and our bodies and minds are in a very sensitive state.  I have woken up with anxiety every morning this week and it is everything I can do to get the thoughts to slow down and to try and stop ruminating.  I've been stuck in thoughts of how much life I wasted while on the Benzos (20 years).  I worry that I have given up my ability to have a family and a career and that I have irreversibly negatively changed my health for the worse.  I also have knee and back pain.  My knees are creaking and popping and when I look in the mirror I feel like I have aged overnight.  I've read in success stories that the inflammation and extreme aging go down and reverse over time and I am choosing to believe that that will happen for us as well.  When I get into super dark thought patterns, I actually start talking out loud to myself and tell myself to stop and to name things I am grateful for.  They can be super small and commonplace but usually one grateful thought leads to another and I can come up with a list of around 10 things.  This distracts me from the spinning negative thoughts for long enough that I am able to start a new, more positive thought pattern and stop the spiraling.  You can start by telling yourself that you are grateful to no longer be taking a pill/pills each day as that is always a great starting place.  Much love,

 

Mai

Mai, your words are gold, thank you very much for your support, yesterday I cried almost all night thinking these are my last days.

I will try to focus on being grateful.

Again thank you

Much love

Blossom

[[Br...]]

Sorry I'm a little late to join in - I jumped in September. 

 

It was really rough for the first couple of months with the waves & windows pattern since then. I had horrible mental and physical symptoms.  I'm in a window and feeling very hopeful right now.  I know another wave may come but I trust the many skills I've learned will help me through it. 

 

Does anyone else feel amazed by our strength?  It amazes me that where I used to reach for a pill to deal with my anxiety I've learned to dig deep to find strength I didn't even know I had to keep going.  Now instead looking for a pill, I look inward and haul out my toolbox of coping techniques, self care, support from family & friends,  and the support & knowledge I've found here on BB.  This is how I've kept moving forward as I faced one miserable day of awful symptoms after the other. 

 

Wishing everyone much healing,

Brighterday

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Blossom, I'm saying a prayer for you. Maitri gave some really good advice. 

 

Welcome, Brighterday. Finally this group is taking off!  How did you get to be a moderator?  Just idle curiosity; I have no interest whatsoever in doing that.  

[[Ma...]]

Blossom,

 

I had a hard day today as well.  So.Much.Anxiety! Have you heard of D E Foster's benzo free podcast?  He has an excellent episode on triggers and ways to cope with them that came out on Tuesday.  I listened to this throughout today in bursts when I would feel really symptomatic with intense anxiety, pain and fogginess. It helped to calm me immensely and gave really good advice.  Here's the link: https://luminarypodcasts.com/listen/d-e-foster/the-benzo-free-podcast/64c891a1-b9e7-4a21-8a1f-a23e9042f349

 

I hope this gives you some relief as well

 

Mai