Skeptical About Healing

[[Mc...]]

Boom!

 

A year off is quite early to start making assumptions about healing.  I disagree about medications.  Most posts suggest that meds have messed up their life, and that they now have very bad reactions to any meds etc.  So don't give up and hang in there.  Healing does happen, but it IS a long slow road.  I'm so sorry you're still feeling so badly.  Hang in there Boom!

 

[[Mc...]]

Hi Boom!

 

I also wanted to say that severe anger was also a part of my life during w/d.  It was real bad, and I thought I had turned into a vile nasty intolerable person.  I just couldn't control my volatility, but then when I began starting to have windows I noticed that rage would disappear.  It's just another bad w/d symptom, that's all.  Don't let it scare you.  If you were nice before, you'll be nice again.  Everything will go back to how it was before w/d.  You will heal.

[[Ma...]]

Yeah, I still have stuff. My attitude though is “so what?”. I have a lot of symptoms, feel pretty ill like all the time. So what? Have very little patience... meh, so what? I’m trying not to take myself too seriously

[[Ti...]]

Deadwoodgone, happy to help for sure. 

 

Boom, another thought on this subject.  If you do not want to go see a counselor, then don’t.  I think everything has a time and a place for each person, and I know full well what it’s like when someone close to you tries to get you to do something, or not do something, that you feel you want to do, or not.

 

I’ll go back to my husband as an example.  We were both raised in the same religion - he is devout, I’m not, for good reason.  When this happened, he tried to support me in the best way he knew how by telling me to pray more, read more, learn more, be more devout, ask God, try harder, blah blah blah.  I was busting my a$$ reading religious articles that were making me feel worse - guilty, out of touch, not loving, etc.  I am a hard worker and a try-er, so for him to tell me this was, from my perspective now, way off base.  I know he was trying to help but it totally didn’t. I wanted to do comforting things that made sense to me like meditation, yoga when I didn’t have vertigo too bad, etc.  He judged me for them and told me I shouldn’t do them because they conflicted with the religion. Honestly if I’d been less sick I would have punched him, but he was all I had there with me. Compare this to my sister who lives in another state, who comforted me in super supportive hands-on ways.  She just flowed with it and didn’t judge me.  She told me to do what I wanted - if it was cry, cry, if it was walk, walk, whatever.

 

Things continued to fall apart and I ended up selling my house and moving in with her while I healed. At first I cried over everything, it’s like I had no control over my own emotions.  Here’s the part I’m getting to.  I noticed after a while that my sister just kept me moving in fun distracting stuff.  When I started to get too heavy on the whys and symptoms and all the stuff that drives us crazy, she’d say let’s watch a movie.  She just kind of faked it till I made it. She wasn’t ignoring me but she was kind of ignoring IT.  I hope this makes sense.  She did it artfully - I never felt she didn’t care or didn’t get it, but she kept me moving forward where my husband stopped me and made me feel guilty.

 

My point:  do what YOU want.  In this situation where we temporarily lose so much of ourselves - our instincts, our peace, our health, our normal, it helps.  It gives you some control back.  Sometimes it will all build up and you might cry your eyes out.  And that’s ok, because then you will feel better.

 

Tiny