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What did your tolerence WD feel like before you decided to quit?


[Aj...]

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I am not sure I ever had tolerence in the 20 years on Benzos but looking at old diary I may havebut I was also taking Zopiclone on and off when felt needed it for 22 years so could have been that.

 

Interested in what symptoms people define as their tolerence symptoms while on the drug.

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Anxiety attacks all the time that would stick around for hours. Paranoia and suspicion. Issues waking up in the morning - trance like state for an hour or two. Extreme fatigue, anger and impatience. I remember feeling like I wanted to rest all the time. Fear of anything changing. I was deeply set in habits. That’s the only way I could get through the day - repeat the same tasks. Difficulty remembering things. Constantly checking my watch. Asking for and seeking reassurance for insecurities or things I was unsure of. Indecision big time. Put off all major decisions. Avoid people and situations that made me feel uncomfortable.  When it started getting really bad, it was like my thoughts started to cave in on me. I would defeat myself in every way possible mentally. I isolated and eventually started getting scared of my apartment and then I felt completely helpless.  I felt needy although I wouldn’t let on that anything was happening. I was constantly worried about my refills when I started running low. Always a thinking every situation was somehow stacked against me. Afraid of intimacy, crowds, authority, the delivery guy, etc. Physically I was having night sweats and sweating during the day. My feet burned and my hands and feet were cold in the morning and I couldn’t warm them up. I felt weak and sickly. I’m sure many more I can’t recall right now. Oh man it was bad...
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I developed agoraphobia. Became depressed. Anxiety like I had never known, frozen with fear over nothing. Cog fog, sweating then freezing, weird hair, dry skin, loss of fine motor skills, poor balance, burning and blurry eyes, light and sound sensitivity, loss of motivation and interest, feeling disconnected like I was walking through a fog. The last years were long periods of being unable to get out of bed due to anxiety/depression, alternating with periods of semi normal functioning. Now I see this as wave window pattern. Always looking for answers as to what was wrong with me. Now, I know. Esperanza
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Loss of coordination, rage/anger events that nearly resulted in divorcing my husband, injuries that wouldn't heal, brain zaps, loss of self esteem, poor body image, chemical naps which began as coma naps (don't know how to explain this but i don't have any sleep disorders) cycling fatigue, temperature disregulation- my husband used to say I had a 2 degree comfort zone, loss of motivation, memory issues, couldn't think strait "space cadet", burning skin, irrational decisions, bizarre fears that led to isolation, restlessness, stopped sweating, muscle spasms, could not gain weight, muscle loss, inflammation, 1 year of constipation with benzo belly beginning just before I found BB. Some of what I call 'leaning forward' could have been mania and I believe stemmed from the restlessness.  The first symptom I can recall is boatiness during a cross country drive 4 years after starting lorazepam. My well-being slowly disintegrated over the next 13.
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Anxiety, dizziness, loss of balance - the same symptoms I'm having today. The real clincher came with vertigo that I'd never experienced before, very debilitating. Then I started searching online for answers. That was the start of it all.
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Anxiety, sweatings and insomnia. And driving was a distaser. Thanks God nothing happened.

 

And I was so hungry, I loved sugar. But this is a side effect of Benzo. So cookies was forbidden in my home.  :tickedoff:

 

Anna

 

 

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