From Crawling to Dancing - By Getting Off Benzo's!

[[Be...]]

I was disabled for 20 years, I thought by fibromyalgia and 13 car accidents.  Nuh uh, was the drugs the doctor prescribed for the pain and insomnia! Mostly housebound and bedridden, often unable to stand up -- my blood pressure was so dangerously low and spiked so wildly it was diagnosed as Orthostatic Intolerance. Some days I had to crawl to get sustenance, or fainted and fell backwards into the bathtub.  My face was swollen, as were my fingers, toes, and ankles - like footballs!  (Hamster Face is only a good look on a hamster.) Incurable venous insufficiency disease, said the doctor.  It looked like I was going to end up in a wheelchair missing some toes.

 

Until I realized the meds were long since useless, and decided to quit.  Tapered for less than 2 years (not long enough) - yet within 6 months I could stand up each and every day.  I was like a happy toddler: Wow, upright -- cool!  The "incurable" OI disappeared, my blood pressure gradually became normal.  Then one day I glanced in the mirror (you don't look full on with Hamster Face), and there to my astonishment were my cheekbones/  And the hereditary family nose - not perfect but mine!  I prayed I was 3 for 3, and lifted the long skirt that covered my ballooning ankles, and there were the skinny white feet that came with the original packaging.

 

It took 2 years to build up my strength again, exercising slowly and gradually, but in two years I was finally able to dance without pain, a skill I though long lost.  Now I dance daily, a thrill that never leaves me.  Yes, I still have fibro, but now I manage it - it doesn't destroy my life anymore. 

 

(Yes, due to the dickhead doc I am going through withdrawal again, two years cold-turkeyed.)  But I'm still dancing, performing, exercising and socializing.  Was recently in a Fringe play on addiction, and played a Clown Doctor, labeling everyone with bogus diseases and handing out candy pills, then telling the true story behind it.  Such a long way from sleeping my life away! 

[Guest [Ru...]]

Thank you for this post! I find it so hopeful.

 

I was a ballet dancer and writer (natural-health writer, ironically) by vocation. On psych meds, my health increasingly deteriorated in the last few years. I was diagnosed with severe ME and a slew of other issues, of which I almost died. I had to give up both vocations, as I became physically and cognitively disabled - such grief around that. I could no longer even climb stairs... Like you, I became bed-bound and house-bound.

 

It has now been 8 months for me since an approximate year-long taper. During the taper, I decided it was time to put all those years of health research into practice, change my diet completely, use targeted supplements and gentle detox therapies, etc. Hard work (still is) - hardest I've ever done - but I was desperate to the point of literally no longer wanting to live.

 

And...as of about a month ago, on a good day - I can bound and dance my way up the stairs! I cried of happiness the first time this happened... The pain is completely gone, except for a day here or there during a healing or detox reaction.

 

Of course, on a very bad day, I still get knocked on my ass    But, it's happening less and less often, and I recover so much quicker now. No more signs of ME (bullshit diagnosis!). It was the drugs and unaddressed imbalances all along. I am no longer bed-bound.

 

(Still house-bound, but that is due to severe phobias and anxiety, which I'm very slowly seeing improvement in - though still a long way to go. Depression, however, is mostly GONE - it returns in shorter and shorter bouts - so I know the rest will go in time...)

 

Here's to dancing and joy! Thank you again for your encouraging post. (And yeah...the cheekbones thing is awesome. Enjoy!  )

Ruby

[[Be...]]

I'm so glad getting off the meds, healing your diet and adding supplements is helping you too, Rubylove - we have similar stories.  How wonderful to be dancing up stairs and out of pain, and best of luck with the anxiety and phobias.  I found Xi Gong to be immensely helpful with so many of the godawful side effects, particularly the Terrible Trio: akathisia, depersonalization/derealization, and depression.  (I'd never experienced any of 'em and never even heard of the first two.)  10 minutes of Xi Gong on the beach or in my home, and I began to feel myself again, such a relief! (Thankfully, they're fading.) Other people with anxiety have reported guided meditations and visualizations helped.  I do both, with ones found on YouTube to deal with that overactive fight or flight response benzo's cause.    Keep dancing, keep fighting, and keep improving! 

[[ba...]]

Thanks for hope!

[[La...]]

Congratulations on your Success! Thank you for sharing, you're  truly an inspiration!!