I really can’t do this any more

[[se...]]

even if you aren't going to taper any more any time soon i urge you to talk to your doc about moving over to an equivalent dose of valium because i assure you it will help! it is worth the effort.  keeping you in my thoughts!

 

Thank you mike.

 

My whole family is now basically furious at me because I’m scared to try the lamictal. The rash possibility is terrifying.

 

I tried it.  I ended up getting really manic on it but that apparently is really really rare.  Rash is supposed to be pretty rare too.  My understanding is that you're supposed to go really slow to start out to minimize potential for adverse reactions.

[[NJ...]]

offandon,

 

I haven't read the whole thread but have read some of it.

 

I see you lost your mom in May. Are you doing counseling? That is a recent loss. I totally hit a wall about 7 months after my dad died. I was a complete wreck. I started to see a therapist who I still see three years later. It helped me immensely in understanding the physical impact grief can have on you.

 

I am someone who recently "paused" tapering as my life has gotten complicated; two job changes within four months (second job was one that was literally handed to me with a huge raise and shorter commute) and my 16 yo son is very ill and may have Crohn's disease. I just couldn't do this now. Sometime but not right now.

 

I don't know anything about Lamictal but I do know there are medications that I will NEVER take no matter how many times they are recommended. So if you are not comfortable, don't go there. Is there another med that might help you?

 

I really hope you can stabilize soon and if you do stabilize don't start cutting right away. Give yourself time and enjoy some stability.

 

I'm not on much as I have my hands full with my son, but if you need anything feel free to PM me. Sending good thoughts your way.

[[of...]]

even if you aren't going to taper any more any time soon i urge you to talk to your doc about moving over to an equivalent dose of valium because i assure you it will help! it is worth the effort.  keeping you in my thoughts!

 

Thank you mike.

 

My whole family is now basically furious at me because I’m scared to try the lamictal. The rash possibility is terrifying.

 

I tried it.  I ended up getting really manic on it but that apparently is really really rare.  Rash is supposed to be pretty rare too.  My understanding is that you're supposed to go really slow to start out to minimize potential for adverse reactions.

 

Weren’t you scared to try it seltzer? At what point in your taper did your try?

[[of...]]

offandon,

 

I haven't read the whole thread but have read some of it.

 

I see you lost your mom in May. Are you doing counseling? That is a recent loss. I totally hit a wall about 7 months after my dad died. I was a complete wreck. I started to see a therapist who I still see three years later. It helped me immensely in understanding the physical impact grief can have on you.

 

I am someone who recently "paused" tapering as my life has gotten complicated; two job changes within four months (second job was one that was literally handed to me with a huge raise and shorter commute) and my 16 yo son is very ill and may have Crohn's disease. I just couldn't do this now. Sometime but not right now.

 

I don't know anything about Lamictal but I do know there are medications that I will NEVER take no matter how many times they are recommended. So if you are not comfortable, don't go there. Is there another med that might help you?

 

I really hope you can stabilize soon and if you do stabilize don't start cutting right away. Give yourself time and enjoy some stability.

 

I'm not on much as I have my hands full with my son, but if you need anything feel free to PM me. Sending good thoughts your way.

 

Thank you NJ. I haven been able to see a therapist because I have to get rides everywhere. I’m sure losing my Mom has affected me even more than I know. She was my rock for most of my life.

 

Problem with pausing is I can’t seem to stabilize and haven’t been stable for years now looking back. So holding to live life isn’t really working because I’m not living life. I’m not able to work or go anywhere or enjoy anything even the slightest bit. I’m still holding maybe that will change. Today it’s bad boatiness. 

[[se...]]

even if you aren't going to taper any more any time soon i urge you to talk to your doc about moving over to an equivalent dose of valium because i assure you it will help! it is worth the effort.  keeping you in my thoughts!

 

Thank you mike.

 

My whole family is now basically furious at me because I’m scared to try the lamictal. The rash possibility is terrifying.

 

I tried it.  I ended up getting really manic on it but that apparently is really really rare.  Rash is supposed to be pretty rare too.  My understanding is that you're supposed to go really slow to start out to minimize potential for adverse reactions.

 

Weren’t you scared to try it seltzer? At what point in your taper did your try?

 

Yes, I was terrified and terrified of the life-threatening rash and researched it and found I should be going really slow to minimize risk of developing anything.  I was unstable on the benzos I was on at that point.  It was about two years before it all came crashing down the first half of 2017.  Didn't know it was the benzo actually causing so many problems.  Was depressed about it all and not finding any help and trying different meds.  Had the bad reaction after about 4 weeks and stopped it and moved on to the next one.

[[of...]]

even if you aren't going to taper any more any time soon i urge you to talk to your doc about moving over to an equivalent dose of valium because i assure you it will help! it is worth the effort.  keeping you in my thoughts!

 

Thank you mike.

 

My whole family is now basically furious at me because I’m scared to try the lamictal. The rash possibility is terrifying.

 

I tried it.  I ended up getting really manic on it but that apparently is really really rare.  Rash is supposed to be pretty rare too.  My understanding is that you're supposed to go really slow to start out to minimize potential for adverse reactions.

 

Weren’t you scared to try it seltzer? At what point in your taper did your try?

 

Yes, I was terrified and terrified of the life-threatening rash and researched it and found I should be going really slow to minimize risk of developing anything.  I was unstable on the benzos I was on at that point.  It was about two years before it all came crashing down the first half of 2017.  Didn't know it was the benzo actually causing so many problems.  Was depressed about it all and not finding any help and trying different meds.  Had the bad reaction after about 4 weeks and stopped it and moved on to the next one.

 

You were unstable on the benzos too?

[[se...]]

even if you aren't going to taper any more any time soon i urge you to talk to your doc about moving over to an equivalent dose of valium because i assure you it will help! it is worth the effort.  keeping you in my thoughts!

 

Thank you mike.

 

My whole family is now basically furious at me because I’m scared to try the lamictal. The rash possibility is terrifying.

 

I tried it.  I ended up getting really manic on it but that apparently is really really rare.  Rash is supposed to be pretty rare too.  My understanding is that you're supposed to go really slow to start out to minimize potential for adverse reactions.

 

Weren’t you scared to try it seltzer? At what point in your taper did your try?

 

Yes, I was terrified and terrified of the life-threatening rash and researched it and found I should be going really slow to minimize risk of developing anything.  I was unstable on the benzos I was on at that point.  It was about two years before it all came crashing down the first half of 2017.  Didn't know it was the benzo actually causing so many problems.  Was depressed about it all and not finding any help and trying different meds.  Had the bad reaction after about 4 weeks and stopped it and moved on to the next one.

 

You were unstable on the benzos too?

 

Yes, I had issues for years and didn't know what was going on.  I tried a lot of different meds.  There were times when I had things under better control (usually when I was drinking a lot) and others when I was just incredibly anxious and freaked out and depressed, etc.

 

I probably should not have used that word, "unstable", in this context because it's not really the same as when you get that way while tapering off a benzo.  Although it kind of is...

 

During that time though, I did not have the types of symptoms to extremes like I had during the last couple of months on the clonazepam and during my taper.  Going through my alprazolam detox in 2017 though, seems like it did a number on my brain chemistry.  For 10 months after I had a horrible time tapering off my SSRI. I got on clonazepam after 9 months and it helped for a couple months and then I started getting unstable again and got off for good.

 

It was mess for a long time and I lived with a lot of fear for a long time too with all sorts of crazy symptoms.  I used alcohol to help with the symptoms for several years too.

[[of...]]

even if you aren't going to taper any more any time soon i urge you to talk to your doc about moving over to an equivalent dose of valium because i assure you it will help! it is worth the effort.  keeping you in my thoughts!

 

Thank you mike.

 

My whole family is now basically furious at me because I’m scared to try the lamictal. The rash possibility is terrifying.

 

I tried it.  I ended up getting really manic on it but that apparently is really really rare.  Rash is supposed to be pretty rare too.  My understanding is that you're supposed to go really slow to start out to minimize potential for adverse reactions.

 

Weren’t you scared to try it seltzer? At what point in your taper did your try?

 

Yes, I was terrified and terrified of the life-threatening rash and researched it and found I should be going really slow to minimize risk of developing anything.  I was unstable on the benzos I was on at that point.  It was about two years before it all came crashing down the first half of 2017.  Didn't know it was the benzo actually causing so many problems.  Was depressed about it all and not finding any help and trying different meds.  Had the bad reaction after about 4 weeks and stopped it and moved on to the next one.

 

You were unstable on the benzos too?

 

Yes, I had issues for years and didn't know what was going on.  I tried a lot of different meds.  There were times when I had things under better control (usually when I was drinking a lot) and others when I was just incredibly anxious and freaked out and depressed, etc.

 

I probably should not have used that word, "unstable", in this context because it's not really the same as when you get that way while tapering off a benzo.  Although it kind of is...

 

During that time though, I did not have the types of symptoms to extremes like I had during the last couple of months on the clonazepam and during my taper.  Going through my alprazolam detox in 2017 though, seems like it did a number on my brain chemistry.  For 10 months after I had a horrible time tapering off my SSRI. I got on clonazepam after 9 months and it helped for a couple months and then I started getting unstable again and got off for good.

 

It was mess for a long time and I lived with a lot of fear for a long time too with all sorts of crazy symptoms.  I used alcohol to help with the symptoms for several years too.

 

Oh seltzer I’m sorry you went thru all that. It all sounds very familiar. I tried using alcohol to help and feel normal a few years back and it just made me worse. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

It’s very stormy and dark here tonight. I’m just trying to tell myself....it’s chemical...the terror. Last year when I was on Prozac, I was out filming the storm... without this fear.

[[se...]]

Oh seltzer I’m sorry you went thru all that. It all sounds very familiar. I tried using alcohol to help and feel normal a few years back and it just made me worse. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

It’s very stormy and dark here tonight. I’m just trying to tell myself....it’s chemical...the terror. Last year when I was on Prozac, I was out filming the storm... without this fear.

 

Thanks, offandon.  If it can help in anyway, I'm happy to share.  I'm sorry you're still having a rough time.  Did you decide to try the lamictal?

 

Storms can be really ominous and when you're already hyper aware of things and experiencing a lot of anxiety from the medication, they can be panic inducing.  I think I know what dogs feel like when they get freaked out.  I lived in a 4th floor apartment on a hill that had 3 skylights and would terrified during lightning storms due to the medication.  Are you a storm chaser?

[[of...]]

Oh seltzer I’m sorry you went thru all that. It all sounds very familiar. I tried using alcohol to help and feel normal a few years back and it just made me worse. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

It’s very stormy and dark here tonight. I’m just trying to tell myself....it’s chemical...the terror. Last year when I was on Prozac, I was out filming the storm... without this fear.

 

Thanks, offandon.  If it can help in anyway, I'm happy to share.  I'm sorry you're still having a rough time.  Did you decide to try the lamictal?

 

Storms can be really ominous and when you're already hyper aware of things and experiencing a lot of anxiety from the medication, they can be panic inducing.  I think I know what dogs feel like when they get freaked out.  I lived in a 4th floor apartment on a hill that had 3 skylights and would terrified during lightning storms due to the medication.  Are you a storm chaser?

 

No I haven’t tried the lamictal. I have a message in to my doc about gabapentin instead. I’m sure she is going to fire me as a patient soon. She’s a family doc and doesn’t feel completely comfortable right now I can tell. I see the shrink on Monday but she won’t do gabapentin. So I don’t know what’s going to happen med wise yet.

 

Haha no ...not a storm chaser...far from it...I just remember standing outside in past years wanting to get a little video of it. I used to at least like them. But yes now they are terrifying. Seems you can relate to that. Geez how did all this happen ?

 

 

 

 

[[Ga...]]

Hello Offandon,

Your kind words and best wishes are greatly appreciated.  My taper has been heavier than expected.  However, I remind myself that I have journeyed too far to surrender.  May you soon experience the peace of mind and healing that is rightfully yours.  God bless you!

GalileeC

 

[[of...]]

Hello Offandon,

Your kind words and best wishes are greatly appreciated.  My taper has been heavier than expected.  However, I remind myself that I have journeyed too far to surrender.  May you soon experience the peace of mind and healing that is rightfully yours.  God bless you!

GalileeC

 

Thank you so much for the support and kind words GalileeC ...

Most tapers are heavier than expected.  God Bless you as well !