I give up

[[gi...]]

Good luck to you Mrs Badger, it tough getting off of benzos. I did it the worse way with a c/t. I am trying to taper but with no luck and now have diarrhea with this heat.

[[Mr...]]

Hi Gibson,

 

Oh that’s really tough and miserable for you, I’m sorry.  I know a thing or two about that since the food poisoning 

 

Can you drink Gatoraid? Anything with electrolytes in. Fill yourself up with fluids to flush it out!

 

I know your head must be really done in. I hope you can find some relief soon from the torture.

 

It’s so bloody annoying creeping round my house, imagining I hear scratching or squeaking. Stupid bloody idiot mice - as if things aren’t unbearable enough as it is.

 

Hope you get well soon and can continue with your taper.

 

Sending you best wishes,

 

Mrs B xxx

 

[[Mr...]]

Hi Gibson,

 

How are you doing? Are you feeling any better at all?

 

Best wishes,

Mrs B xxx

[[gi...]]

wicked depression today, in bed and cant function at all. my burning arms have let up some though----need help soon

[[Mr...]]

Hi Gibson,

 

Good to hear from you, but am very sorry you’re feeling so bad. Have you had any thoughts about what help you would like?  Can I ask what your present alcohol intake is if you don’t mind?

 

Mrs B xxx

[[gi...]]

at 7 drinks a day, gonna go on gabapentin soon

[[Mr...]]

Hi Gibson,

 

Are you under the care of a doctor at the moment? I know you need help, but please be cautious with the Gabapentin if you are already depressed. Is depression your worst symptom overall?

 

Sending you best wishes,

Mrs B

Xxx

[[gi...]]

I have a primary doctor, took gabapentin and felt terrible---I want to go on klonopin, not doing well

[[Ma...]]

I have a primary doctor, took gabapentin and felt terrible---I want to go on klonopin, not doing well

 

why??? Then you will be an acoholic And addicted to klonopin again.

In my eyes you need help to stop drinking and not a benzo to overcome alcoholism.

Or am I missing something?

With so much alcohol in your system you will react on klonopin anyway I assume..

[[Sc...]]

Damn - 50 mo. is a hell of a long time to be dealing with this wretched stuff. Had you had depression before Benzos? That's really a tough deal. I'm at 22 mo. and don't see how I could even get to 30 let alone 40 or 50. But since I've had a long history of depression - I figure I may not notice even if/when I got through this. I'd been hoping to get into a trial study of Psilocybin but you have to be off antidepressants so that tears it for me. Might have been the one thing that could have had a real impact. Really sorry though, for your situation . . .

Hi are you on antidepressants? I Havnt begun my taper-a few attempted have had depression for years, am trying generic lexapro as brand has worked in past. Posted in depression & other Meds section asking if people got worse before better on lexapro. If you don’t mind read & responding am desperate. Thanks be well SC

[[gi...]]

Klonopin would be stupid at this point, I agree. I am tapering the vodkas and soon to be on Lexipro. I have had depression my whole life, never was addressed but now its x3

[[Sc...]]

Good for you. Yes best wishes with your vodka taper & lexapro start up. Sorry you’re suffering. I’m not doing so well myself, but have my moments. Feel free to pm me. May I suggest start real low with your lexapro dose to try to avoid the possible start up anxiety side effect? I started with 2.5mg am on a boatload of k pin & still had jump out of my skin anxiety for first few days. Maybe you can find something non addictive & non alcoholic to help with anxiety safe to take with lex & May help you off the alchi

[[gi...]]

Been hitting my CBD oil vape and it helps a lot with pain and anxiety, slept 10 hours last night, this heat is killing me with fatigue, still tapering the damn vodka................. 

[[Sc...]]

Glad that cbd vape is helping. Have you tapered self off liquor before? Wishing you safe healing.

[[Es...]]

Been hitting my CBD oil vape and it helps a lot with pain and anxiety, slept 10 hours last night, this heat is killing me with fatigue, still tapering the damn vodka.................

 

Maybe you could be tapering stuff that has less %. Just a thought...

 

Have you read Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking"?

 

Or "When AA Doesn't Work For You: Rational Steps to Quitting Alcohol" by Albert Ellis?

 

Both great books. You could download the second one on Kindle. A really good guide to REBT.

[[gi...]]

got no kindle here, tapering with beer now,

[[Es...]]

got no kindle here, tapering with beer now,

 

No crossover? Just straight into beer?

 

You play guitar? Your nick reminds me of these very good guitars...

 

Playing guitar can be therapeutical

 

[[gi...]]

Was a professional lead guitarist with a nice teaching job. All of that is over right now, lost a lot of muscle strength but still play daily to keep up my chops. Playing the blues now that's for sure, hard to stay out of bed still after 4 1/2 years of this crap.

[[Es...]]

Was a professional lead guitarist with a nice teaching job. All of that is over right now, lost a lot of muscle strength but still play daily to keep up my chops. Playing the blues now that's for sure, hard to stay out of bed still after 4 1/2 years of this crap.

 

I know it all quite well. The addiction takes away what one loves most. It seems to help escape the suffering initially. But then one finds oneself in a constant state of suffering, deprived of all the good stuff that has constituted one's identity so far.

 

It's really cool to be doing professionally what one loves. Makes sense to practice as much as you can. You have a skill that can actually save you in the long run. You could go back to teaching guitar if the addiction doesn't take over your life completely. Teaching is fun. I used to do it in the past. Not music. Any job gives life meaning. But doing what one loves adds to it twice as much.

 

Husband used to play guitar in the past. He stopped completely. He's a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, 15 yrs sober. He was in a detox center for 4 weeks, then did 4 weeks outpatient. The treatment was based on the Minnesota model. And this was what has saved him actually.

 

He started going to AA meetings in 2003. Now he attends like 3 AA meetings a week. Has a therapy and a pdoc. This is all his lifeline. Husband's father died as a result of drinking at quite a young age. It was a sudden death. Very tragic. His father never went to a single AA meeting.

 

I went to many open AA meetings in my life. Chiefly with husband. Was never addicted to alcohol. Liked to drink. But quit drinking, when pdoc told me that alcohol acts like the BZD. Only that it is even more dangerous and addictive. It was during my first BZD WD in 2002. I don't miss alcohol. After all the horror stories I heard at meetings. I surely don't miss it. The AA meetings have helped me a lot during both my BZD WDs. The addictive mechanism is actually the same.

 

The problem about AA is that going to meetings on one's own really sucks. It's always possible to call their hotline, and find someone to go with to a meeting. As you go to the meetings regularly, your state of mind starts changing. Then you may prefer to go to a meeting then to drink. Makes sense to try many meetings. And find out one where the people and the atmosphere really suit you. I have one like this in an old monastery nearby.

 

Had a look at your posts and found this. You write about feeling manic. And that you didn't tolerate the ADs. Have you ever asked a pdoc about mood stabilizers? Some people seem to benefit from Tegretol. It is effective for the alcohol WD. It also has antidepressant and calming properties. Another popular mood stabilizer, helpful during the BZD WD, is Lamictal. Ideally, you would need a pdoc who specializes first of all in alcohol WD. This is my opinion. I don't think that the BZD dependence is your major problem. But Ativan is a nasty BZD. Messed you up for sure. Together with all the other psych meds.

 

You still have that kitty that has helped you so much? My 7 years old Kitty has been a lifesaver. Wouldn't have survived the last 4 years without her, for sure. Pets offer unconditional love.

 

You say you have lost so much. But you still have this wonderful skill, which is playing guitar. And which could help you rebuild your life. I wish you could realize that it is so much more important and valuable than alcohol.

 

A happy life without booze is possible. I have seen hundreds of men and women living it. We also had many friends who were killed by alcohol. Nothing is certain with a recovering alcoholic. With any recovering addict, for this matter. This is why the AAs say: "One day at a time."

[[gi...]]

whats BZD? my kitty died so I got a new one a year ago, my bed companion

[[Es...]]

whats BZD? my kitty died so I got a new one a year ago, my bed companion

 

I'm so sorry. Maybe you have gotten worse cause your kitty died. I cannot imagine surviving my Kitty. She has helped me the most throughout this ordeal. The last four years. This Sept. will be the 7th anniversary of when my Kitty came to live with me. The 22nd September 2018.

 

BZD is benzodiazepines. The thing about the BZD is that they actually act on the same receptors as alcohol. The GABA receptors. Maybe you were already tolerant to alcohol when you asked the doctor for Ativan. This is how most alcoholics get hooked up on the BZD.

 

But I have yet to meet an alcoholic who cares more about the BZD than about alcohol. Many just want to taper the BZD in order to drink freely. The denial could be much stronger.

[[gi...]]

my new cat is called Tubby, Russian blue mix, just killed a chipmunk. Bad kitty snuck out this morning, total alpha female but a total lover. losing the will to live now..........

[[Es...]]

my new cat is called Tubby, Russian blue mix, just killed a chipmunk. Bad kitty snuck out this morning, total alpha female but a total lover. losing the will to live now..........

 

My Kitty is a calico Exotic Shorthair girl with amber eyes. She's very plump and talkative. We talk a lot. She also sleeps with me. An indoor cat. Whenever I feel depressed, I tell myself that I need to be strong for her. I don't want to lose her. I'm depressed most of the time, but I'm trying to be active. It helps. Maybe L-Glutamine could help you. I take it for sugar cravings. Less sweets now, for sure. Even forgot to buy chocolate this week. Still got some, fortunately.

[[Ca...]]

my new cat is called Tubby, Russian blue mix, just killed a chipmunk. Bad kitty snuck out this morning, total alpha female but a total lover. losing the will to live now..........

 

Nice to hear about "Tubby"! I had lost 2 cats, both 18 yr. olds, in 2015. Broke my heart - twice. I could not recover so great a loses and OD'd in 2016. But as well, did the rapid detox - 30 days which was 2 yrs. ago. Wasn't going to get another cat so soon but along came a cat from the neighborhood and decided to move in! They always seem to know where to biggest suckers are who will follow orders on command! Now it's "Gigi" and she's grey short hair, white paws and underside. She's a talker and is not low maintenance but she's a little sweetie, I can hardly resist. She too brings home "offerings" - lizards, birds, mice, even bunnies - OMG! Sometimes I'm able to rescue them and release elsewhere but there are other times - I'll hear an ear shattering scream downstairs - and I have to smile and say to her, "Thanks kitty, your job is done for the day."!! She's just about all I've got to live for anymore . . .

[[Es...]]

my new cat is called Tubby, Russian blue mix, just killed a chipmunk. Bad kitty snuck out this morning, total alpha female but a total lover. losing the will to live now..........

 

Nice to hear about "Tubby"! I had lost 2 cats, both 18 yr. olds, in 2015. Broke my heart - twice. I could not recover so great a loses and OD'd in 2016. But as well, did the rapid detox - 30 days which was 2 yrs. ago. Wasn't going to get another cat so soon but along came a cat from the neighborhood and decided to move in! They always seem to know where to biggest suckers are who will follow orders on command! Now it's "Gigi" and she's grey short hair, white paws and underside. She's a talker and is not low maintenance but she's a little sweetie, I can hardly resist. She too brings home "offerings" - lizards, birds, mice, even bunnies - OMG! Sometimes I'm able to rescue them and release elsewhere but there are other times - I'll hear an ear shattering scream downstairs - and I have to smile and say to her, "Thanks kitty, your job is done for the day."!! She's just about all I've got to live for anymore . . .

 

Yeah, I feel the same about my Kitty.