Stupid social media

[[ca...]]

I never go on facebook.  I made the mistake of doing so and came across an old friend.  Then I somehow ended up on their makeup youtube channel and then ended up on the pity train.  Sigh.  If it wasn't bad enough I spent the day in deep depression thinking this is all me.  That this is me after withdrawals.  But I know it's not.  Yet I'm stuck in some nightmarish limbo. How I know this isn't me?  Because I keep getting colds and flus when hit with a breeze. I've had a constant cold/flu for 3 months now. It's middle of spring here!!!  My body is a wreck and having trouble rebooting.  I can't will myself to pretend I'm better.  I'm just simply not 100% better yet.  I don't care for other peoples lavish lives.  That's not a life I want.  But the part that gets me down is their passion.  They realize their own potential and utilize that.  A part of me needs to fulfill a purpose and it's not a possibility in this state of lethargy.  I just wish sleep would go back to normal.  Life would be easier with sleep.

[[Pe...]]

I call it Fake-book. Some people cherry pick all the good stuff when posting, and exaggerate about their ‘wonderful’ lives. I wouldn’t get too upset over this. It’s not reality in a lot of cases. I’m not on there, and my wife recently closed her account out of disgust. It’s mostly all BS.

[[ca...]]

LOL fake-book.  I love that!! Thanks for cheering me up!  I do see a purpose in facebook when wanting to share pictures/events with family that are abroad since everyone has it.  It was just a pity party on top of the depression I was already experiencing this month. 

 

It is true. Peoples lives on facebook aren't all glitz and glamour but at least they have the normal motivation and creativity to even fake it on facebook.  I would just rather do anything but worry about depression/anxiety, my health and my non-existent sleep.  I wish I had that euphoria from faking a story on facebook    ok I don't but you know what I mean.

[[Ma...]]

you are missing a point.

You are using your passion as well at the moment, you are fulfilling a dream, reaching a goal, going for it no matter what.

Its easy to bring out photos or videos and tell the world "hey, I am sooooo cool", you could do that, too. (get a professional makeup and tell the world how easy withdrawal is and so on).

Like Pedro said - fakebook.

 

Its all about what do you want. You want a better life - go for it. Thats what you are doing right now. Its as simple as that.

We only look from the outside. You don't know how people feel inside.

 

So if you keep asking yourself the question "is that the real me" its all about what do you want to be. Its a decision.

I have read a lot of your posts, and you seem to be very rude on yourself, focusing on every symptom and judging yourself for it - but when I read your words - all I can see myself is a very brave woman who supports others while herself is suffering so much, a great sense of humor and overall a kind of fighting spirit that I really like. You have made efforts, please re-read your old posts. You know you have a lack of self-confidence, just work on that and let the others make their videos and self-presentations because they seem to have the same problem as you and thats their solution for it.

You know, deep inside, I am sure, that you are strong and brave and will feel better some day. If not, I can believe it for you

Maybe you could try to search for the good things in you instead of comparing with others outsides...

because you really deserve it

[[ca...]]

Aww thanks for the compliment.  I think we all have those days where we feel we can conquer all.  Here's the thing.  I'm confident enough to know that this isn't really me.  It's the only thing keeping me here and trudging along.  But there is a strange force field that doesnt allow any further movement regardless of how confident one feels.  Push a little harder and the symptoms descend causing me to back up and retreat. Just like the windows and waves, the confidence ebbs and flows.  That's when I question everything.  Now that I think about it, I did make a choice.  A choice to stay put and heal/take care of myself.  Even overachieving at it    but that means the identity out in society suffers.  I dont need a public identity but I meant the identity that is serving the world.  Everyone has a purpose outside in the world.  Even the person that hands you your coffee every morning or rings up your groceries.  I guess i'm just tired of being focused on myself so much.  Wish my focus was more outward than in.  But something happens to always reel my focus back inwards.

[Guest [Sk...]]

you are missing a point.

You are using your passion as well at the moment, you are fulfilling a dream, reaching a goal, going for it no matter what.

Its easy to bring out photos or videos and tell the world "hey, I am sooooo cool", you could do that, too. (get a professional makeup and tell the world how easy withdrawal is and so on).

Like Pedro said - fakebook.

 

Its all about what do you want. You want a better life - go for it. Thats what you are doing right now. Its as simple as that.

We only look from the outside. You don't know how people feel inside.

 

So if you keep asking yourself the question "is that the real me" its all about what do you want to be. Its a decision.

I have read a lot of your posts, and you seem to be very rude on yourself, focusing on every symptom and judging yourself for it - but when I read your words - all I can see myself is a very brave woman who supports others while herself is suffering so much, a great sense of humor and overall a kind of fighting spirit that I really like. You have made efforts, please re-read your old posts. You know you have a lack of self-confidence, just work on that and let the others make their videos and self-presentations because they seem to have the same problem as you and thats their solution for it.

You know, deep inside, I am sure, that you are strong and brave and will feel better some day. If not, I can believe it for you

Maybe you could try to search for the good things in you instead of comparing with others outsides...

because you really deserve it

 

:thumbsup:

 

Wise words  that many people could benefit from,

especially in withdrawal from Benzos, ( when we are often over sensitised till we heal )

as our reason for being on them in the past  often stemmed from

our own comparisons re how we coped, or saw life, now its back to learning new ways to deal with this,

accepting our fighting spirit, and our decisions to get off the drugs, now knowing the dangers 

let old habits go, that no longer serve us  and releasing the  old ways,( often hard especially with a highly sensitive nature )

thus  letting the real person surface adjusting along the way as

we now have to do    without questioning ourselves so often.

 

we are all different, and conforming, people pleasing, and self doubt

can often cause more  damage  to us than the drugs did often.

we are all unique and need to accept that now.

 

[Guest [sa...]]

Just do it, then. I'm already doing everything i want.

[[ca...]]

Just do it, then. I'm already doing everything i want.

 

I wish life was as simple as that Nike slogan.  I discovered my health issues go beyond withdrawals.  I posted in my 23andme genetics test thread.  Now most of my money is going to finding the right treatment.  Money being burned from both mine and my parents wallet.  So for now money is scarce and energy is scarce.  Can't even repair my car or my broken laptop and now dying cellphone.  On top of that.. I have mites that I need to eradicate on my body which is beyond annoying.

 

How has your life changed Savinghope2?  What is everything you want to do?

[Guest [sa...]]

Just do it, then. I'm already doing everything i want.

 

I wish life was as simple as that Nike slogan.  I discovered my health issues go beyond withdrawals.  I posted in my 23andme genetics test thread.  Now most of my money is going to finding the right treatment.  Money being burned from both mine and my parents wallet.  So for now money is scarce and energy is scarce.  Can't even repair my car or my broken laptop and now dying cellphone.  On top of that.. I have mites that I need to eradicate on my body which is beyond annoying.

 

How has your life changed Savinghope2?  What is everything you want to do?

Studying, exercising, leaving home and talking to people. Alcohol is the only thing i can't tolerate yet.

[[ca...]]

Just do it, then. I'm already doing everything i want.

 

I wish life was as simple as that Nike slogan.  I discovered my health issues go beyond withdrawals.  I posted in my 23andme genetics test thread.  Now most of my money is going to finding the right treatment.  Money being burned from both mine and my parents wallet.  So for now money is scarce and energy is scarce.  Can't even repair my car or my broken laptop and now dying cellphone.  On top of that.. I have mites that I need to eradicate on my body which is beyond annoying.

 

How has your life changed Savinghope2?  What is everything you want to do?

Studying, exercising, leaving home and talking to people. Alcohol is the only thing i can't tolerate yet.

 

Wow congrats on that!  These don't throw you in a wave now?

[Guest [sa...]]

Just do it, then. I'm already doing everything i want.

 

I wish life was as simple as that Nike slogan.  I discovered my health issues go beyond withdrawals.  I posted in my 23andme genetics test thread.  Now most of my money is going to finding the right treatment.  Money being burned from both mine and my parents wallet.  So for now money is scarce and energy is scarce.  Can't even repair my car or my broken laptop and now dying cellphone.  On top of that.. I have mites that I need to eradicate on my body which is beyond annoying.

 

How has your life changed Savinghope2?  What is everything you want to do?

Studying, exercising, leaving home and talking to people. Alcohol is the only thing i can't tolerate yet.

 

Wow congrats on that!  These don't throw you in a wave now?

 

Only alcohol makes me feel like having a seizure. Coffe makes me feel good if i don't drink too much.