INFJ functioning persons

[[Kr...]]

 

Came to me in meditation today, thought I would share.  INFJ hope, perhaps.

 

"It might be over soon"

 

 

[[Un...]]

INFP here, but I see we have lots of similarities.  My world has shrunk beyond what I’d ever imagine it could, through this.  People have become triggers, so it’s like I’m in cocoon mode.  But I have developed an extreme case of monophobia after my c/t.  Catch 22. 

[[Ma...]]

 

If you are lucky enough to find a person or people that just allow you to be sad in their presence, without trying to analyze why you are sad, or unconsciously insinuating that you have no reason to be sad through the advice that they offer, then that's the way out.  Let me cry.  Take me on a drive. Don't make me talk about it.  Just be with me until it ends.  Because the good news is, if you can remember it while in the loop,  is that it does end! 

 

The last part of your post was especially poignant for me. It seems like a lot of people feel they need to help when you have a problem, which in itself is a great thing, but most of the time, I don’t want help, I just want someone to listen. I’ve already thought it through. I’ve already accepted the fact that I am going to be depressed and I am working it out internally. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the advice, or the generous offer to “solve” my problem, but the truth is, just being there, just listening, is often all the help I need.

[[Kr...]]

INFP here, but I see we have lots of similarities.  My world has shrunk beyond what I’d ever imagine it could, through this.  People have become triggers, so it’s like I’m in cocoon mode.  But I have developed an extreme case of monophobia after my c/t.  Catch 22.

 

People are triggers for me too.

 

[[Kr...]]

 

If you are lucky enough to find a person or people that just allow you to be sad in their presence, without trying to analyze why you are sad, or unconsciously insinuating that you have no reason to be sad through the advice that they offer, then that's the way out.  Let me cry.  Take me on a drive. Don't make me talk about it.  Just be with me until it ends.  Because the good news is, if you can remember it while in the loop,  is that it does end! 

 

The last part of your post was especially poignant for me. It seems like a lot of people feel they need to help when you have a problem, which in itself is a great thing, but most of the time, I don’t want help, I just want someone to listen. I’ve already thought it through. I’ve already accepted the fact that I am going to be depressed and I am working it out internally. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the advice, or the generous offer to “solve” my problem, but the truth is, just being there, just listening, is often all the help I need.

 

Yes. Exactly. I think going through withdrawal has made this dynamic even more clear...and painful.

[[az...]]

As a way to enliven this day and introduce something to think and talk about, I thought if we each share an article every once in a while it may bring good potential enjoyment to our “country” of introverts— or island.

 

Why I Left The U.S. 20 Years Ago... And Why I Won't Be Coming Back

 

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5adf7407e4b07be4d4c57b26/amp

 

This caught my eye, she seems to look like an absolutely blissful woman. 

Like she is... happy

 

“

 

In hindsight, growing up in white, middle-class suburbia in 1980s America was kind of like being brainwashed. I grew up believing that having money was an objective to strive for and that life was a ruthless competition. I worked hard in school and got a good job because that was what was expected of me. That was the path that was supposed to bring me happiness, except I followed that path, and I wasn’t happy.

 

At 23, I was already living the corporate rat race, working nearly 60 hours a week for a huge multinational conglomerate in Washington, D.C., and I felt too young for the lifestyle I was leading. In the course of my two years there, Washington had turned me from a naive political science graduate with aspirations of single-handedly changing a failing political system into a jaded, disenchanted old lady...

 

 

“

[[az...]]

https://youtu.be/6FS41d5o0Cc

 

This is something I liked today on the “big five” traits.

[[az...]]

He is too high energy for me in it to watch right now , it’s what he is saying

[[Kr...]]

I enjoyed the article, azalea.  It's interesting to think about how conditioned we are to keep up with societal norms that work against our introverted nature.  I dream about moving away from it all sometimes...

[[az...]]

Hi, thanks. Great to see you today

[[Kr...]]

Aw thanks!  Haven't been in the space to respond to this thread lately...just too frazzled with outside activity.  I love it here.  Our introvert country.   Can I just live here until I feel better?

[[az...]]

But of course! That’s what I’ll be doing. Chilling.

[[Sh...]]

 

Why I Left The U.S. 20 Years Ago... And Why I Won't Be Coming Back

 

 

Thank you for sharing this, but I'm afraid you lost me on this one Azalea.  While I am happy for anyone who finds their niche in life, my interest lies more along these lines:

 

https://www.amazon.com/River-Darkness-Escape-North-Korea-ebook/dp/B06XKRKFZL/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525191014&sr=8-1&keywords=a+river+in+darkness+one+man%27s+escape+from+north+korea

 

Here in America, we often lose sight of the fact that we have the freedom to pursue a higher level of achievement of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, while millions struggle and are often unsuccessful in meeting their basic psysiological needs.  This book reflects such a society where many thousands died in the streets of starvation.  Young, old, elderly, healthy, sick, even babies whose mothers were too malnourished to breastfeed them.  These people would have felt themselves blessed to be able to reach Maslow's second level of safety and security, never mind 3-5.  Anyway, not to take away from the woman you cited, but we have to balance our view with a sensitivity to people who don't have the luxury to pursue anything, much less happiness.  I guess its the lot of the INFJ to be affected by these things more so than others.  Or are we giving ourselves too much credit?

 

She

[[az...]]

 

Why I Left The U.S. 20 Years Ago... And Why I Won't Be Coming Back

 

 

Thank you for sharing this, but I'm afraid you lost me on this one Azalea.  While I am happy for anyone who finds their niche in life, my interest lies more along these lines:

 

https://www.amazon.com/River-Darkness-Escape-North-Korea-ebook/dp/B06XKRKFZL/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525191014&sr=8-1&keywords=a+river+in+darkness+one+man%27s+escape+from+north+korea

 

Here in America, we often lose sight of the fact that we have the freedom to pursue a higher level of achievement of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, while millions struggle and are often unsuccessful in meeting their basic psysiological needs.  This book reflects such a society where many thousands died in the streets of starvation.  Young, old, elderly, healthy, sick, even babies whose mothers were too malnourished to breastfeed them.  These people would have felt themselves blessed to be able to reach Maslow's second level of safety and security, never mind 3-5.  Anyway, not to take away from the woman you cited, but we have to balance our view with a sensitivity to people who don't have the luxury to pursue anything, much less happiness.  I guess its the lot of the INFJ to be affected by these things more so than others.  Or are we giving ourselves too much credit?

 

She

 

Yeah, I hear you. And being that I really do hear you and agree, I’m not sure what else to say for now.

 

I love that about being willing to discuss things that matter... it is true, the sentence above— I agree wholeheartedly and simultaneously I have other perspectives and this discussing what is what will allow me to re-frame the thoughts and language I am used to having in my Infj thought loops where I want a solution for humanity but cannot extrovert anything in order to process it.

 

Always look forward and contemplate your reply, after the connection I felt from your response on this thread the first time. Good to see more of another’s thoughts whom I feel respect for.

 

And yes, I personally feel I give myself too much (credit.)

[[az...]]

I have a struggle with the pride issue, I think that being shamed and oppressed so much in life did not help this.

 

Yes, I was a victim... we know here what it is to be victimized.

[[az...]]

I only forgot : ♥️🙈

[[Ni...]]

INTJ here, introversion is also partially a reason why i went on benzo's in the first place, i can't handle this extrovert world.

[[...]]

INFP here, but I see we have lots of similarities.  My world has shrunk beyond what I’d ever imagine it could, through this.  People have become triggers, so it’s like I’m in cocoon mode.  But I have developed an extreme case of monophobia after my c/t.  Catch 22.

 

People are triggers for me too.

 

Me too... I find during this process, and it started before this too , that if I don't feel in control I freak out around people. HAving a crazy sensitive nervous system no I have no reserves to conduct the energy of others, usually I feel a lot worse. So I preferr to be alone most of the time now, its a hard palce to be as I like company too , the right kind. But even that is hard now

I remember one year  when I realized that I no longer would subject myself to relationships that didn't feel good to me , I had to reach almost 50 years old to accept that in myself, that it was ok to be very particular with the company I kept. that is even more true now.

 

I still struggle with guilt about it, saying no, because sometimes I love people that are't good for me  , even family members.

 

I had to move half way around the world to find 'myself ', and it's still a challenge.

 

I'm an Aries , with Sagitarious rising, it's very strange to have all that fire and yet be basically a sensitive introvert!

 

I am very lucky to have 2 friends who are extremely sensitive like me , they feed my soul and their company is very healing.

I can;t even see them that much these days due to wds, but whenever I can , it's wonderful.

 

MiYu

ps I haven;t been following that much , but thought I'd pop in 

 

 

 

 

[[az...]]

INTJ here, introversion is also partially a reason why i went on benzo's in the first place, i can't handle this extrovert world.

 

My best friend was/is INTJ. One, my grandmother.

[[...]]

:'( no hidden meaning here, simply the gravity (of being a real person and not just a human )

 

John Mayer - Gravity

 

thanks for this Azalea! xx

[[az...]]

😆🍉💓🌵🦉❤️

 

MiYu

[[Sh...]]

INTJ here, introversion is also partially a reason why i went on benzo's in the first place, i can't handle this extrovert world.

 

My best friend was/is INTJ. One, my grandmother.

 

My dear husband is an INTJ and we are very well matched.  I was first married to an someone I believe was an ESTP and it was a total disaster. What was I thinking?

[[az...]]

No! I don’t , I do not over-credit myself.

 

I said that to sound likeable and because the truth would sound arrogant, but it is not. I’m not an arrogant human being and if anything I under-estimate myself... but more than this, others do.

[[az...]]

...it hurts, it has they have tried to crush me— they always do try;

 

the opinions of others.

 

Even this sentence. I can’t get it right.

[[Kr...]]

 

Why I Left The U.S. 20 Years Ago... And Why I Won't Be Coming Back

 

 

Thank you for sharing this, but I'm afraid you lost me on this one Azalea.  While I am happy for anyone who finds their niche in life, my interest lies more along these lines:

 

https://www.amazon.com/River-Darkness-Escape-North-Korea-ebook/dp/B06XKRKFZL/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525191014&sr=8-1&keywords=a+river+in+darkness+one+man%27s+escape+from+north+korea

 

Here in America, we often lose sight of the fact that we have the freedom to pursue a higher level of achievement of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, while millions struggle and are often unsuccessful in meeting their basic psysiological needs.  This book reflects such a society where many thousands died in the streets of starvation.  Young, old, elderly, healthy, sick, even babies whose mothers were too malnourished to breastfeed them.  These people would have felt themselves blessed to be able to reach Maslow's second level of safety and security, never mind 3-5.  Anyway, not to take away from the woman you cited, but we have to balance our view with a sensitivity to people who don't have the luxury to pursue anything, much less happiness.  I guess its the lot of the INFJ to be affected by these things more so than others.  Or are we giving ourselves too much credit?

 

She

 

Okay, I've got a little window of mental energy this morning so hang on.  Or scroll past, haha.

 

She, thanks for sharing your perspective. I respect people who are both sensitive and strong, who can examine the ugliness in this world and bring an awareness of social injustice to the forefront of our experience, reminding us to be thankful for what we have while adding momentum to the fight for others. I am way too emotionally and mentally fragile at this place in my withdrawal to even go there. There is no way I could read that book right now.  I can't even watch the news without absorbing the stress. I look forward to a time when I have enough energy to take on the ugly again and be of greater service to this world. 

 

Regarding the article, I also agree with what you are saying about needing to be sensitive to the struggles others are facing when presenting ideas and opinions. I could see how the “and I'm never coming back” sentiment could be a bit off putting. Perhaps America became a projection of all the earlier experiences where her emotional needs were unmet.

 

I do applaud her for reflecting on what wasn't working in her life and being courageous enough to leave it behind in order to find something that felt more authentic; I suspect it was a decision process fueled by introverted feeling (Fi) so maybe some of our INFP friends would relate. And maybe her purpose in life was to find a place where she could just be happy. It doesn't mean she was ungrateful for the liberties she was afforded or that she isn't sensitive to those who are struggling with having their basic needs met, it's just that this wasn't expressed, and perhaps that is what needed to be woven into the article. It did kind of sound like a door slam on America, which was perhaps unnecessary. Maybe too much ego in sharing personal growth?  I'm not sure.

 

I was thinking about personal growth and how specifically as INFJ individuals, at least in my experience and from what I've gathered through reading, we often don't move forward due to fear of hurting others.  Or we don't move forward because we can't figure out how to balance our own needs with those of others. We stop pursuing our dreams out of guilt. We take on the needs of everyone else. We can become martyrs. We can become overwhelmed with intense emotion and insight and then paralyzed because we can't figure out what to do about it, which makes me think of how Azalea mentioned wanting to solve societal problems but not knowing how to extravert a solution. I think our growth involves finding ways to merge all of our intense feeling and intuitive insights with extraverted feeling.

 

She,  I'm honestly not sure what you're referring to in terms of are we giving ourselves too much credit. Is acknowledging our strengths too prideful? I would hope not. Our deep compassion and introverted intuition are very much needed at this time.  I think too many intuitive introverts suppress their dominant cognitive functions because they are not seen as valuable in a society where success is measured through material means and accomplishments.  I don't think acknowledging our traits is giving us too much credit. It's who we are. They should be recognized and shared with the world.

 

I personally don't know how to do this as an INFJ, especially at this time in withdrawal, when I am overly sensitive to everything, but I’m working on it constantly, and processing ideas here on this thread, trying to grow and learn and hopefully be a better person.  I'm doing better in my family and friend circle but am a bit fearful of bringing what I'm learning out into the bigger world where I have felt crushed too many times.

 

So how do INFJs grow in a society that is not supporting their growth? A place where they are in the minority with not only their introversion but also their intuitive function which is even more of a minority trait than introversion. Unlike the woman in the article, I don't think need to leave the country to do so, but we might have to transform ourselves, leave a situation or a person or a group in order to become what we are supposed to be, to make an impact. I think some people can transform within the existing structures, but some need to slam that door and start over. I think it's different for everyone.

 

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I truly appreciate the space to work through some of these thoughts that have been surfacing. I really enjoy this thread and everyone on it.