Unfortunately the Las Vegas tragedy will create new benzo buddies

[[pr...]]

i had tried one small dose of Seroquel and was freaking out and hallucinating so i stopped it right there. i couldn't believe it. and it wasn't even a high dose. just freaking out! paranoia. schizo. these drugs are just so weird and strong. poor poor brains. and the brains get use to it. God, what would it be like if i had never taken a drug at all ever? i'd like to know. my poor brain.

[[ho...]]

Have any of you stopped to consider the guy wasn't acting alone?

[[Be...]]

I heard that too, that he wasn't a lone shooter.

[[Es...]]

i had tried one small dose of Seroquel and was freaking out and hallucinating so i stopped it right there. i couldn't believe it. and it wasn't even a high dose. just freaking out! paranoia. schizo. these drugs are just so weird and strong. poor poor brains. and the brains get use to it. God, what would it be like if i had never taken a drug at all ever? i'd like to know. my poor brain.

 

For me, Seroquel was a terrible drug. I stopped taking it “for sleep” in Jan. 2016, after 4 mos’ taper. Ended up in psych ward for 8 days. My final dose was about 1 mg/night. But I used to take it for sleep in small doses for 14 yrs. I never once regretted having stopped taking it.

[[Es...]]

Have any of you stopped to consider the guy wasn't acting alone?

 

You got any source that says so? I bet he was acting alone. This was a part of his personality. He was a high-functioning psychopath.

[[pr...]]

Estee,

 

i forgot to mention the other killer that i had a fascination with and watched his story which actually a movie will be on lifetime in November about: Oscar Pistorius.

i do an imitation of him that cracks my mom up. "Reeva Reeva Reeva, i shot you while i'm on my stumps" -- oh, i go on and on and i don't stop because he's such a liar!

[[Es...]]

Estee,

 

i forgot to mention the other killer that i had a fascination with and watched his story which actually a movie will be on lifetime in November about: Oscar Pistorius.

i do an imitation of him that cracks my mom up. "Reeva Reeva Reeva, i shot you while i'm on my stumps" -- oh, i go on and on and i don't stop because he's such a liar!

 

I’m too tired to read about psycho killers. Schizophrenics are kind of scary. There was this woman, can’t remember her name. She was a housewife and very religious. She killed her three kids. I don’t think I can describe here the way she did it. It was terrifying. I read about her in a book on psychology. Voices told her to do so. I guess God wanted her to sacrifice her three sons. Gonna look up her name. I met schizophrenics in the psych ward last year. They were heavily medicated. Gosh, they were so strange.

[[Lo...]]

A little change from all the murderers

 

http://archive.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2010/08/31/hiker_accidentally_shoots_himself_in_the_rear/

 

[[Es...]]

Her name was Deanna Laney. Go figure, she was on no psych meds. When I hear Peter Breggin say schizophrenics don’t need APs, it makes me cringe.

[[Lo...]]

Her name was Deanna Laney. Shall remove the link in a second. Go figure, she was on no psych meds. When I hear Peter Breggin say schizophrenics don’t need APs, it makes me cringe.

 

I think Breggin is good for people who'd not been majorly exposed to Rx drugs or any other substances. However, I was already a year or so into Prozac when I read his book "Talking back to Prozac". If I'd read it before I took Prozac, maybe he would have changed my worldview in a much more profound way.

[[Es...]]

A little change from all the murderers

 

http://archive.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2010/08/31/hiker_accidentally_shoots_himself_in_the_rear/

 

Yeah, but those schizophrenics in the psych ward weren’t funny at all. It’s incredible. Things that happen to the human brain. Anyway, is my OCD any better? I’m not gonna kill anyone. However, my OCD is killing me.

[[Lo...]]

Yeah, but those schizophrenics in the psych ward weren’t funny at all. It’s incredible. Things that happen to the human brain. Anyway, is my OCD any better? I’m not gonna kill anyone. However, my OCD is killing me.

 

Would a person be able to tell the difference between a true schizophrenic and someone in a really bad psych drug withdrawal?

[[Es...]]

LRF, all I know some schizophrenics MUST take APs. When I tapered SSRIs twice, it was a disaster. Cannot say whether it was SSRI WD syndrome or the disease itself. All I know is Anafranil saved my life at age 18. Few yrs after my OCD started.

 

Now benzo WD makes it worse. I’m staying on those 20 mg Prozac as long as my washing OCD symptoms persist. I guess I’m not going to taper V to 0. I know there was a time when benzos helped me with social anxiety. When I first started taking them. I must have been 18 or 19 then.

 

I started them just after Anafranil. I actually took Anafranil for a short time and it helped with OCD. Then I stopped it and was on benzos only. When I took benzos in 2014 after 11 yrs off, they no longer helped my social anxiety. It was so strange. I developed good social skills during those 11 yrs off benzos. I was on various ADs at the time. I just felt shattered and desperate to be back on benzos. I felt like an ultimate loser.

[[Es...]]

Yeah, but those schizophrenics in the psych ward weren’t funny at all. It’s incredible. Things that happen to the human brain. Anyway, is my OCD any better? I’m not gonna kill anyone. However, my OCD is killing me.

 

Would a person be able to tell the difference between a true schizophrenic and someone in a really bad psych drug withdrawal?

 

Yes, I think so. Ppl in benzo or AP WD may become psychotic. But not to the extent of hearing voices or seeing dead ppl. One woman in my room in that psych ward actually SAW DEAD PEOPLE. She was on heavy doses of APs. She was very young. Ppl in WD are weak. That schizophrenic woman in the link I posted was very strong. She had moments when she realized what she had done and suffered terribly. When I first saw her story in some psychology book, I couldn’t believe my own eyes.

[[Es...]]

I’d rather have schizophrenia than what I have, anyway. Some schizophrenics don’t gain weight on APs. Some do. I’d gladly be a schizophrenic on 40 mg olanzapine, without a weight gain. I saw several such cases in psych ward. Young ppl. They scared me somehow. One asked me if I was afraid of him. He looked quite nice and normal. Very young. But there was something about him... I felt like in a horror movie. He was on 40 mg olanzapine and practically lived in that psych ward.

[[pr...]]

Yeah, but those schizophrenics in the psych ward weren’t funny at all. It’s incredible. Things that happen to the human brain. Anyway, is my OCD any better? I’m not gonna kill anyone. However, my OCD is killing me.

 

Would a person be able to tell the difference between a true schizophrenic and someone in a really bad psych drug withdrawal?

 

 

when i got home after this last c/t -- about a week after the c/t i was convinced that they had put something in my brain and that they were conspiring to kill me. actually that is how i found this forum. actually my brother found it for me. i was certain that the doctor or something like aliens had put something into my brain. i was hallucinating for 4 months when i was wide awake and i also had those "hypnagogic hallucinations" almost every single night between the hours of 2-4am and in fact they have just now lessened the last 3 weeks i haven't had any of the sleep paralysis/hypnagogic hallucinations and i am 66 months out!

 

i would be insane if i didn't think that they had put something into my head. that's how severe my head symptoms were and still are although it's much better.

 

i have a lot of schizo symptoms and if i told any doctor -- they would definitely label me with a mental illness. thank God my Doc who "tried to help me with my taper" finally believes in withdrawal syndrome since i shoved so much info down his throat over these past 5 1/2 years. but any other Doctor would think i have schizophrenia with some of the symptoms i've had.

 

 

 

 

When I hear Peter Breggin say schizophrenics don’t need APs, it makes me cringe.

 

 

why does is make you cringe?

 

maybe some schizophrenics need AP's but maybe they also could get better with therapy, trauma therapy, diet and nutritional supplementing, healing the gut, and trying to balance the brain in a holistic way. i know it's not all cut and dry like that but maybe sometimes with schizo's and psychopaths they would be worse on a drug. it's all about the chemical balance of the brain and these kinds of people should be studied to see how they can be helped. i just don't think all psychopaths need drugs to help their brains. but i sure don't know?

 

 

 

[[pr...]]

I’d rather have schizophrenia than what I have, anyway. Some schizophrenics don’t gain weight on APs. Some do. I’d gladly be a schizophrenic on 40 mg olanzapine, without a weight gain. I saw several such cases in psych ward. Young ppl. They scared me somehow. One asked me if I was afraid of him. He looked quite nice and normal. Very young. But there was something about him... I felt like in a horror movie. He was on 40 mg olanzapine and practically lived in that psych ward.

 

 

i'm telling you - you would not want to be schizo. i've had a taste of what they must go through when i've had that "chatty brain" and images and thoughts that are not of my own and nothing i can do about it. i know it's withdrawal thank God, and when i get this 'chatty brain" and all those gruesome, negative images that flash by one after another -- it's usually between those hours of 2-4am for some reason and i don't have it any other time and it's also going away finally. but there is no way i would be able to live like that. you'd go crazy and have to off yourself. you can't control any of your own thoughts or images. it's insane making. i had been very terrified when this symptom came about. thank God i knew it was withdrawal and i could talk myself down or else i would not be here. i don't know how schizo's can live this way. it's crazy making. just like A Clockwork Orange" -- you'd have to jump out of the window because it's too crazy making.

[[Lo...]]

Yeah, but those schizophrenics in the psych ward weren’t funny at all. It’s incredible. Things that happen to the human brain. Anyway, is my OCD any better? I’m not gonna kill anyone. However, my OCD is killing me.

 

Would a person be able to tell the difference between a true schizophrenic and someone in a really bad psych drug withdrawal?

 

 

when i got home after this last c/t -- about a week after the c/t i was convinced that they had put something in my brain and that they were conspiring to kill me. actually that is how i found this forum. actually my brother found it for me. i was certain that the doctor or something like aliens had put something into my brain. i was hallucinating for 4 months when i was wide awake and i also had those "hypnagogic hallucinations" almost every single night between the hours of 2-4am and in fact they have just now lessened the last 3 weeks i haven't had any of the sleep paralysis/hypnagogic hallucinations and i am 66 months out!

 

i would be insane if i didn't think that they had put something into my head. that's how severe my head symptoms were and still are although it's much better.

 

i have a lot of schizo symptoms and if i told any doctor -- they would definitely label me with a mental illness. thank God my Doc who "tried to help me with my taper" finally believes in withdrawal syndrome since i shoved so much info down his throat over these past 5 1/2 years. but any other Doctor would think i have schizophrenia with some of the symptoms i've had.

 

 

 

 

When I hear Peter Breggin say schizophrenics don’t need APs, it makes me cringe.

 

 

why does is make you cringe?

 

maybe some schizophrenics need AP's but maybe they also could get better with therapy, trauma therapy, diet and nutritional supplementing, healing the gut, and trying to balance the brain in a holistic way. i know it's not all cut and dry like that but maybe sometimes with schizo's and psychopaths they would be worse on a drug. it's all about the chemical balance of the brain and these kinds of people should be studied to see how they can be helped. i just don't think all psychopaths need drugs to help their brains. but i sure don't know?

 

Yes. I recall reading about Amanda Bynes and how she was saying that she thought there was a microchip in her brain. This looks like a symptom that people definitely experience here and there.

 

Not sure what the true benzo wd sleep paralysis is like, but I remember I had a few nasty panic attacks pre-benzo where I would fall asleep and wake up in panic and feel like my body was chained to my bed. Freaked me out, but than it mysteriously vanished just the way it came after several incidents of that.

 

I have not seen dead people or anything like that, but my thoughts became much more vivid through this. I had a lot of healthy amount of buffer before the ativan, and my brain was mostly thinking in conceptual terms. Now, I see many more images in it, so obviously the buffer is very thin.

 

But yes, the emotional and mental flooding is awful. Lots of memories from early childhood and all parts of my life, really. Kind of frightening to have these play out in my head over and over and over. Looking back, some of the emotional unmasking occurred fairly early into Ativan use. Apparently, there was plenty of pent up stuff about to get out of my subsconcious. Almost some kind or psycho-pharmacological-spiritual-transformation, but not in a very nice way. That's for sure.

 

 

 

[[Lo...]]

But then again, my brain got so good at blocking things off at a very young age, long before any of these psych drugs. I remember feeling very depersonalized when rain would fall for some reason. If a rainy day followed a Sunny day, it would feel like a different space and time. I'd say my brain was definitely wired different. Not necessarily wired for psych drugs, but sure wired to detect a lot of discord, and a lot of nuances, and suffering, and all that. I remember turning 5 and feeling this sense of wisdom wash over me. It was quite interesting. I ended up with a much more abstract, highly intuitive brain. I remember experiencing this mild altered states without really being on meds. I was perfectly in touch with reality, but there was a certain dissociation from the occasional grimness of it. 

[[pr...]]

But then again, my brain got so good at blocking things off at a very young age, long before any of these psych drugs. I remember feeling very depersonalized when rain would fall for some reason. If a rainy day followed a Sunny day, it would feel like a different space and time. I'd say my brain was definitely wired different. Not necessarily wired for psych drugs, but sure wired to detect a lot of discord, and a lot of nuances, and suffering, and all that. I remember turning 5 and feeling this sense of wisdom wash over me. It was quite interesting. I ended up with a much more abstract, highly intuitive brain. I remember experiencing this mild altered states without really being on meds. I was perfectly in touch with reality, but there was a certain dissociation from the occasional grimness of it.

 

 

do you remember what happened with rain and why your brain becomes depersonalized? i have a similar thing with hot weather and cloudless sky -- i don't like it at all and it depresses me. i can live in the marine layer/foggy/overcast forever. i am much more creative, happy and productive in foggy/overcast weather. although there was a time when it rain for 3 weeks straight right after a very traumatic love breakup and i hated the rain -- but that has changed for some reason and now i love it more when it rains. the sun and a blue cloudless sky is overrated to me. i really dislike it. i need that shroud and this is mostly since the c/t as i wasn't really like this before -- i didn't pay that much attention to the weather and now i'm obsessed with it.

 

there will be another heat wave starting this Sunday for a week and i am actually terrified. October had always been my favorite month and now it's ruined. and it makes me even more angry because i know the planet is kinda being destroyed/temp is rising.

[[Lo...]]

 

do you remember what happened with rain and why your brain becomes depersonalized? i have a similar thing with hot weather and cloudless sky -- i don't like it at all and it depresses me. i can live in the marine layer/foggy/overcast forever. i am much more creative, happy and productive in foggy/overcast weather. although there was a time when it rain for 3 weeks straight right after a very traumatic love breakup and i hated the rain -- but that has changed for some reason and now i love it more when it rains. the sun and a blue cloudless sky is overrated to me. i really dislike it. i need that shroud and this is mostly since the c/t as i wasn't really like this before -- i didn't pay that much attention to the weather and now i'm obsessed with it.

 

there will be another heat wave starting this Sunday for a week and i am actually terrified. October had always been my favorite month and now it's ruined. and it makes me even more angry because i know the planet is kinda being destroyed/temp is rising.

 

I'm not sure. During the pre-benzo years, rain would just bring this feeling of being vaguely uncomfortable for some reason. Just was never sure why. Sometimes I liked the rain, but sometimes, the day after day of it would make me uncomfortable. Somehow I'd rely on coffee during rainy days in the pre-benzo years, as if the Prozac wasn't enough.

I recall my doctor upping the Prozac from 10mg  to 20mg/day every time the rain, late fall and winter arose. But then again, in those days, it wasn't even close to this. More like some discomfort from it. Yes, I was never a fan of these hot cloudless days that went forever. Pretty awful.

 

September and October have always been my favorite months, but now I feel so weird because I feel kind of disconnected in general, and the benzo withdrawal brought on huge agoraphobia. That's another one of those mysteries as of why some people become so agoraphobic and some don't. I don't know, honestly. I don't know about you, but I've always struggled with that basic sense of safety to some degree all of my life. It's just that the feeling wasn't nearly that prominent before these pharmaceuticals came into picture. But yes, that existential fear was always kind of there. Wish I'd found a way to address it before the ativan, perhaps even before Prozac.

 

But yes, who knows. I do believe that a lot of our emotional makeup gets sort of formed before we're 10 years old or so. It can always change, of course, but a lot of those early experiences and preferences tend to form pretty strongly in childhood.

[[Fl...]]

When I hear Peter Breggin say schizophrenics don’t need APs, it makes me cringe.

 

 

why does is make you cringe?

 

maybe some schizophrenics need AP's but maybe they also could get better with therapy, trauma therapy, diet and nutritional supplementing, healing the gut, and trying to balance the brain in a holistic way. i know it's not all cut and dry like that but maybe sometimes with schizo's and psychopaths they would be worse on a drug. it's all about the chemical balance of the brain and these kinds of people should be studied to see how they can be helped. i just don't think all psychopaths need drugs to help their brains. but i sure don't know?

 

"Need" is a scary word that is often used by doctors to justify long term drugging, often without any consideration of doing something that actually gets to the root of the problem, let alone cure it.

 

The facts are pretty clear on this. All you have to do is read Anatomy of an Epidemic to see that these drugs are not a long term solution to mental illness. The medical establishment measures "success" on the criteria and timeline that the FDA uses, which is basically "is it more effective than a placebo relieving symptoms in the short term". As soon as you zoom out and look at what these drugs do long term it paints a completely different picture. 

[[dr...]]

But then again, my brain got so good at blocking things off at a very young age, long before any of these psych drugs. I remember feeling very depersonalized when rain would fall for some reason. If a rainy day followed a Sunny day, it would feel like a different space and time. I'd say my brain was definitely wired different. Not necessarily wired for psych drugs, but sure wired to detect a lot of discord, and a lot of nuances, and suffering, and all that. I remember turning 5 and feeling this sense of wisdom wash over me. It was quite interesting. I ended up with a much more abstract, highly intuitive brain. I remember experiencing this mild altered states without really being on meds. I was perfectly in touch with reality, but there was a certain dissociation from the occasional grimness of it.

 

 

do you remember what happened with rain and why your brain becomes depersonalized? i have a similar thing with hot weather and cloudless sky -- i don't like it at all and it depresses me. i can live in the marine layer/foggy/overcast forever. i am much more creative, happy and productive in foggy/overcast weather. although there was a time when it rain for 3 weeks straight right after a very traumatic love breakup and i hated the rain -- but that has changed for some reason and now i love it more when it rains. the sun and a blue cloudless sky is overrated to me. i really dislike it. i need that shroud and this is mostly since the c/t as i wasn't really like this before -- i didn't pay that much attention to the weather and now i'm obsessed with it.

 

there will be another heat wave starting this Sunday for a week and i am actually terrified. October had always been my favorite month and now it's ruined. and it makes me even more angry because i know the planet is kinda being destroyed/temp is rising.

 

I don't know if this is meaningful to you but at some point I started downloading sound effects records, to listen to the different rain sounds. It was very soothing.

[[Es...]]

Schizophrenics kill ppl just because “voices” tell them to do it. They need APs to stop hearing those “voices”. I spent 8 days in psych ward with schizophrenics, cause there was no place in any other part of the hospital. Like half of the ward were schizophrenics. And they scared the hell out of me.

 

Ppl may become 100% more psychotic on SSRIs/SNRIs and kill others. For a schizophrenic, it’s enough not to take their APs on a regular basis. So when I hear Breggin say schizophrenics don’t need APs, I dismiss it as a total BS.

 

Maybe if a member of his family was killed by a schizophrenic who didn’t want to take his APs. He would talk otherwise. I agree with him in many aspects. That SSRIs/SNRIs, combined with a mental disorder - usually cause these mass shootings. But I think he’s too radical in his approach, as far as schizophrenics are concerned.

 

SSRIs/SNRIs/APs/benzos etc. - are very dangerous drugs. But nothing better has been invented so far to treat mental illnesses. I don’t believe these illnesses can go untreated.

 

I’m also speaking from experience. Therapy is indispensable. But it cannot cure a severely sick individual. I think there’s much to be done as far as monitoring patients on those psych meds and the duration of treatment is concerned. I don’t think there are many schizophrenics on BB. I doubt if there are any, in fact. There may be lots of BP cases. Not schizophrenics.

[[Be...]]

Schizophrenics cause harm to others even if they don't kill them.  My nabe next door was diagnosed paranoid Schizophrenic her ex bf told me.  I did see her Seroquel med bottle and it said "for psychosis."  She'd go off her meds and wreak havoc on others around her by verbally and emotionally abusing them.  She put her bf through hell, accusing him of trying to poison and kill her, she and he both separately told me.  He told me she'd flip the light on in the bedroom in the middle of the night and accuse him of trying to kill her.  He went through alot of emotional abuse.  He was always quiet and usually nice.  A few of her cats all suddenly died too.  Hum?  I was also the recipient of her psychotic outbursts.  We used to be friends before I realized she was schizophrenic, since I'd never been around one in my life.  She'd come over here and tell me her bf was trying to kill her all the time.  Then one day she started screaming at me and told me to never come onto her porch again and to go away.  I didn't do one thing to her except always trying to be nice and help her.  She humiliated and shamed me.  My sister knew another schizophrenic who would destroy property.  She told me he painted his entire bedroom black including the windows.  This guy used to spray the trees in the winter with a hose and cause ice slicks on the road which could cause auto accidents.  His family had to get him involuntarily commited at times because he caused such chaos within the family.  These people need to be on meds and be under constant care.  They are a menace to society.  I guess this is going way off topic now.  I wonder if Stephen Paddock was schizophrenic?  His actions might indicate it.