Unfortunately the Las Vegas tragedy will create new benzo buddies

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I still don’t believe a person on a cocktail of Valium and booze is capable of such an act. Why was his mind so clear? An analytical, sharp mind. Why?

 

 

if cocaine was in the mix that would give some clarity and especially if meds and alcohol were also in the mix. i couldn't even follow the story as it made me so upset -- did he off himself after he when on that shooting spree?

[[Es...]]

if cocaine was in the mix that would give some clarity and especially if meds and alcohol were also in the mix. i couldn't even follow the story as it made me so upset -- did he off himself after he when on that shooting spree?

 

Yeah, he shot himself. He had the SWAT team just behind his hotel door. I think they opened fire. He had no possibility to escape. When they got in, he was already dead. With all those 23 rifles strewn all over the place. I’m still quite positive some costly SNRI/SSRI was involved. Maybe some amphetamine pills like Ritalin.

 

I don’t think he was into drugs. Wasn’t that stupid. Used to have a regular job for at least 30 yrs? Anyway, I know nothing about drugs. Never took any. I only know how SNRIs/SSRIs act on the brain. From 15 yrs of experience. I’ve always had a sharp mind, despite benzos. But on some of the above-mentioned ADs my thinking became 100% more analytical and clear. Haven’t been reading that much lately on the subject, too. If I get new details about his psyche, I’ll share them here.

[[pr...]]

if cocaine was in the mix that would give some clarity and especially if meds and alcohol were also in the mix. i couldn't even follow the story as it made me so upset -- did he off himself after he when on that shooting spree?

 

Yeah, he shot himself. He had the SWAT team just behind his hotel door. I think they opened fire. He had no possibility to escape. When they got in, he was already dead. With all those 23 rifles strewn all over the place. I’m still quite positive some costly SNRI/SSRI was involved. Maybe some amphetamine pills like Ritalin.

 

I don’t think he was into drugs. Wasn’t that stupid. Used to have a regular job for at least 30 yrs? Anyway, I know nothing about drugs. Never took any. I only know how SNRIs/SSRIs act on the brain. From 15 yrs of experience. I’ve always had a sharp mind, despite benzos. But on some of the above-mentioned ADs my thinking became 100% more analytical and clear. Haven’t been reading that much lately on the subject, too. If I get new details about his psyche, I’ll share them here.

 

 

there are some killers i've always had a fascination about like Ted Bundy, OJ Simpson, The Menendez Brothers (which i actually just watched the movie), Gaddafi and Hitler. i think it's human and a natural instinct to want to know the why and "how could they?" and what could possibly go through these minds? i'm still interested even though it's very eerie. i am interested in this killer too. i think for me, it helps me to maybe feel a little safer if i know the "why?" as though i may be able to get out it if ever presented. hopefully will never be presented. i probably shouldn't think too much about it. i am scared now to go to my concert that i want to go to and i don't want to be.

[[Es...]]

there are some killers i've always had a fascination about like Ted Bundy, OJ Simpson, The Menendez Brothers (which i actually just watched the movie), Gaddafi and Hitler. i think it's human and a natural instinct to want to know the why and "how could they?" and what could possibly go through these minds? i'm still interested even though it's very eerie. i am interested in this killer too. i think for me, it helps me to maybe feel a little safer if i know the "why?" as though i may be able to get out it if ever presented. hopefully will never be presented. i probably shouldn't think too much about it. i am scared now to go to my concert that i want to go to and i don't want to be.

 

Yeah, I’m the same. Humans have been searching for answers as long as this race exists. Gonna keep you informed. I guess the newspaper ppl will be digging for truth cause it means money for them. Sth will eventually leak to the media. Go to your concert and enjoy it One may equally get run down by a car as shot. One has to live one day at a time. Before it’s too late.

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Here is another article with a bit of interesting information I hadn't read before, about his mental state.

 

Title: Stephen Paddock 'used to lie in bed screaming and may have been in mental anguish':

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/stephen-paddock-mental-health-screaming-bed-claims-last-vegas-shooting-latest-a7987481.html

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there are some killers i've always had a fascination about like Ted Bundy, OJ Simpson, The Menendez Brothers (which i actually just watched the movie), Gaddafi and Hitler. i think it's human and a natural instinct to want to know the why and "how could they?" and what could possibly go through these minds? i'm still interested even though it's very eerie. i am interested in this killer too. i think for me, it helps me to maybe feel a little safer if i know the "why?" as though i may be able to get out it if ever presented. hopefully will never be presented. i probably shouldn't think too much about it. i am scared now to go to my concert that i want to go to and i don't want to be.

 

Yeah, I’m the same. Humans have been searching for answers as long as this race exists. Gonna keep you informed. I guess the newspaper ppl will be digging for truth cause it means money for them. Sth will eventually leak to the media. Go to your concert and enjoy it One may equally get run down by a car as shot. One has to live one day at a time. Before it’s too late.

 

 

thanks for keeping me informed, i think i will try my best to go to the Tori Amos concert. i will be going myself so i will take a lyft on and uber. i am so scared mostly because i still feel so bad.

[[Be...]]

I heard on the news toxicology and other pathology results won't be available for awhile on the shooter.  It will be interesting to see what, if anything, was in his system. 

[[Es...]]

thanks for keeping me informed, i think i will try my best to go to the Tori Amos concert. i will be going myself so i will take a lyft on and uber. i am so scared mostly because i still feel so bad.

 

Kudos for going to the concert on your own Tori Amos is really cool. Checked the “New York Post” site, cause I just woke up (CET). Paddock’s brain showed no signs of abnormalities. So he did not have the brain tumor, as his brother had suspected.

 

Which doesn’t mean he wasn’t depressed from a long term alcohol abuse and/or BP. Diazepam-induced depression might have been a minor factor here. I suspect he was either BP or a schizophrenic. Must do some reading on schizophrenia. Some schizophrenics are very intelligent. Like John Nash, this great mathematician. Portrayed by Russell Crowe in “A Beautiful Mind”. Difficult to place a link to this great movie next to all this disgusting Paddock stuff.

 

Not a word is being said about the toxicology results. They just keep repeating “diazepam”. I’m so sick of it. Been on diazepam for the last three yrs, as a result of kindling. After 11 yrs off benzos. Diazepam deprived me of all energy, drive and motivation. I’m meek as a mouse. Lethargic and barely functioning. Despite a huge quantity of Prozac.

 

I used to be all over the city before benzos. Earned lots of money. Could go on for 40 hrs in a row, did not feel tired. My memory was 100% perfect. Now it’s like 60% of what it used to be. I was super organized, energetic and got everything done just on time. This is how ADs act for certain ppl. I bet everything that Paddock was on a cocktail of booze and an SSRI/SNRI. He probably was able to keep his drinking moderate. Diazepam must have been candies for him. He was a severe, scheming psychopath. Just like his father. He probably inherited most of his father’s genes.

 

I just hope journalists are gonna dig into the case, cause it means money for them. But I know damn well how sensitive information is being protected by govt. bodies. Almost no leaks possible. Takes a very cunning journalist with lots of connections to find sth out. I’m just so frustrated and angry with all this. Where is justice? What have ppl become cause of money? I’ll end up with a heart attack. Have a low BP, fortunately.

[[Lo...]]

When you get better, you should work in forensics, Estee. Your analysis of this Paddock guy is amazingly well-written and spot on. The way you write and reason, I would not even suspect that you are on a benzodiazepine or experiencing any withdrawal symptoms. I'd just see you as an analytically and creatively minded depressive, and that's about it. 

[[Es...]]

When you get better, you should work in forensics, Estee. Your analysis of this Paddock guy is amazingly well-written and spot on. The way you write and reason, I would not even suspect that you are on a benzodiazepine or experiencing any withdrawal symptoms. I'd just see you as an analytically and creatively minded depressive, and that's about it.

 

LRF, thank you You’re being so kind. You made my day. Am CET. Guess I hit such tolerance with Valium it doesn’t affect my cognitive functioning to a great extent. Still memory problems. I chiefly got Valium sxs. And it allows me to sleep every 30 hrs. I read all Agatha Christie as a kid. In English. Not my native language. Knew before the end of first chapter who the killer was. Got her logic. Was the same in every book. Was so proud of myself. Not on benzos then.

 

I moved on to Patricia Highsmith. Tom Ripley was an extraordinary character. I think Hitchcock made a movie out of “Strangers on a Train”. Did not see the movie. But the book is awesome. And her “Cry of an Owl”. Gosh, it was terrific. I see the movie is not well rated, but the book was just fab. She was an amazing writer. Deep knowledge of a human psyche. Very talented. Used to write so well.

 

Then I moved to Patricia Cornwell. The chief detective in her books is Dr. Kay Scarpetta, a forensic pathologist. Working for FBI. My role model for a long time.

 

I read all this stuff during high school and first yrs of uni, I think. When I met my husband and worked full-time, it became impossible to indulge in this kind of thing. All we did is to visit a movie theater with some thriller every Sat. I adore David Fincher’s thrillers. The best was “Zodiac”, IMO.

 

Had to move Christie collection to my parents’ place, cause I ain’t got enough room for all those books at home. They’re like hundreds. Left myself Higsmith and Cornwell. I was always so ashamed to read those books. Instead of some philosophy, psychology, literary classics. Haha, I was stupid. But I liked to solve riddles.

 

Then I was making psychological profiles of all my co-workers. They didn’t know, of course My job was pretty dull. Wanted sth interesting to do. Read lots of stuff on psychology. If I were healthy at 18 yrs old, I would have studied it. But the amount of books I read and keep at home and on Kindle/Audible amounts to a solid psychological background. Plus 15 glorious yrs on SSRIs/SNRIs. Out of which 11 were without benzos. I know exactly how these psych meds zombify ppl.

 

Doing research on real mass murderers is quite painful. Almost nauseating. I always do as much as I can to find out the cause. The point is, haven’t been employed by the FBI. I doubt my psyche would handle it. I just think reading this stuff and thinking about the causes is all I can do for the victims.

 

And it’s amazing how warped human brain cam become. That a human being is able to commit such atrocities. When I scream at Kitty, who’s very spoiled. And doesn’t always obey. Well, I beg her for forgiveness after 2 minutes. Never hit anyone. Cannot imagine. Used to pinch my husband. As a joke.

 

Sad how many interests one used to have. And now all the world seems to revolve around psych meds and sxs. I hope my reward center is slowly being reprogrammed. I find more and more things that are pleasurable. Besides benzo-induced sleep with Kitty. She’s purring, plump and cuddlesome. But I feel like I’ve slept away the last two yrs of my life. Kitty’s influence, for sure.

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Interesting thread and now I need to return to OT.

 

PD: I once met José Menendez and I say one thing. He was a very nasty, controlling and strict father. But that's no reason for his son's to kill him and his wife Kitty. She was just as scared of him as the sons were.

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Interesting thread and now I need to return to OT.

 

PD: I once met José Menendez and I say one thing. He was a very nasty, controlling and strict father. But that's no reason for his son's to kill him and his wife Kitty. She was just as scared of him as the sons were.

 

 

 

yeah in the movie that portrayed that and i guess he also sexually abused either one of the Menendez or both. do you know?

why the mother though?

 

i also forgot to mention Manson as another killer that had intrigued me but in withdrawal i couldn't listen or watch any of his murders even though i had been intrigued. way too hard. hearing about Sharon makes it go over and over in my mind and it's just not good, especially in withdrawal where you can't quite control the images.

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I remember the Manson murders. That was back in the days when it was very rare. I think the AD wanted to Beatles to testify but of course they refused. Very creepy guy, still.

[[Es...]]

Just read they’re going to do a neuropathological examination of Paddock’s brain tissue at Stanford. What about the toxicology results? Still Valium is supposed to be a culprit? How very funny.

 

Just wanted to add that what he did requires a lot of physical strength. Valium usually makes ppl physically and mentally weak. I doubt Valium + booze cocktail can change it much. Know lots of recovering alcoholics (AAs) and they’ve always been laughing at my Valium. As though it were a candy. Not for me, damn it.

 

Just read the toxicology tests may last four to six weeks. By that time, the Big Pharma will reach all the Paddock’s GPs and pdocs. We may wait, of course, but it’s HOPELESS. Arrghh

 

Toxicology Tests and Reports

 

“My hands are tied, billions shift from side to side [...]” like in that GN’R song... Getting mad and nauseated again...

 

Where the hell is JUSTICE?

 

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They very rarely blame it on benzos, so I don't think that will change, I suspect the ME's work for pharma............

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They very rarely blame it on benzos, so I don't think that will change, I suspect the ME's work for pharma............

 

Well, they chiefly blamed Ativan in Andreas Lubitz’ case. The pilot who killed 150 ppl in the plane crash in 2015. Underwent Ativan treatment during his several mos’ stay in psych ward. What a joke. Wait a minute...

 

Wow, there’s a ray of hope. Just dug up some facts about Lubitz’ psych meds. Mirt (Remeron), escitalopram (Lexapro), zolpidem (Ambien), zopiclone (Lunesta), Dominal forte - WTH is this? An AP (phenotiazine), not available in the US. Lubitz brain tissue contained mirtazapine, escitalopram and zopiclone. So he did not take his AP the night before. Wonderful.

 

He had a pdoc and four physicians, each prescribing a different drug. Was undergoing a psychiatric depressive episode on the day of the flight. A BP on Lexapro? Whoa! Lubitz exhibited suicidal ideation and made several “no suicide pacts” with his psychiatrist. None of his medical history had been communicated to Lufthansa, the parent company of German wings, since renamed Eurowings.

Of course no healthcare provider informed Germanwings that Lubitz was taking all this crap. Makes me want to swear and listen to thrash metal.

 

P.S. Just occured to me Lubitz might have had serotonin syndrome... two ADs at the same time?

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Those Germans have strict privacy laws. If I can recall he got depressed because his eye sight was failing and he knew he would not be able to fly. He was a clear danger to those passengers because of this, but no doctor would inform his airline. I think there comes a point when you have to consider the safety of others rather than hiding a problem. Privacy laws or not.

[[Es...]]

Those Germans have strict privacy laws. If I can recall he got depressed because his eye sight was failing and he knew he would not be able to fly. He was a clear danger to those passengers because of this, but no doctor would inform his airline. I think there comes a point when you have to consider the safety of others rather than hiding a problem. Privacy laws or not.

 

Well, he had either BP or schizophrenia. From what I recall. Psych meds, especially ADs, exacerbated his condition. If he stopped his AP, it was a disaster. No one likes APs. But ppl with psychosis must take them. He certainly wasn’t neurotic. A neurotic doesn’t kill 150 ppl on purpose. Whether his eyesight is failing or not.

 

If toxicology results were revealed in his case, one can only hope against hope. It would be similar with Paddock. Unfortunately, Big Pharma influence in the EU isn’t as strong as in the US. I doubt such a transparent information would be given to the public. I would be very happy to be proved wrong.

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This is what I picked up from the NY Post:

 

Officials said that although Lubitz, 27, believed he was suffering career-threatening vision problems he had no actual physical ailments. He had seen more than 40 doctors in five years.

[[Es...]]

This is what I picked up from the NY Post:

 

Officials said that although Lubitz, 27, believed he was suffering career-threatening vision problems he had no actual physical ailments. He had seen more than 40 doctors in five years.

 

Physical, not mental ailments. A mentally stable person or a depressed neurotic doesn’t kill 150 ppl. I don’t know if we’re allowed to post links here. Probably not. No doubt he had problems with his sight. Just read in LA Times he had a long history of mental illness. Maybe it was major depression. I think he was rather BP, cause he definitely had manic episodes in his life. He was a very energetic person. Neurotics usually do not have that level of energy.

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This is what I picked up from the NY Post:

 

Officials said that although Lubitz, 27, believed he was suffering career-threatening vision problems he had no actual physical ailments. He had seen more than 40 doctors in five years.

 

Physical, not mental ailments. A mentally stable person or a depressed neurotic doesn’t kill 150 ppl. I don’t know if we’re allowed to post links here. Probably not. No doubt he had problems with his sight. Just read in LA Times he had a long history of mental illness. Maybe it was major depression. I think he was rather BP, cause he definitely had manic episodes in his life. He was a very energetic person. Neurotics usually do not have that level of energy.

 

I would agree with that......

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If he stopped his AP, it was a disaster.

 

how is a AP different than an AD? what exactly is an AP?

[Guest [ch...]]

I think by "AP" she means anti-psychotic meds.

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Like Seroquel..........

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Like Seroquel..........

 

Yeah, Seroquel is an AP. But a lot depends on the dose. I guess a person with BP must take at least 600 mg. Seroquel is given “off-label” for insomnia. The doses may vary. Even 1 mg used to knock me out. When I was tapering Seroquel in the end of 2015. I remember that during my first successful benzo WD, pdoc put me on 200 mg of Seroquel. After I quit benzos, I stayed on 6-12 mg/a night for many yrs.

 

Lubitz was given phenotiazine, a strong AP. I think olanzapine is one of the most effective APs for schizophrenia. A dose of 40 mg usually pacifies schizophrenics. They’re quite happy, living in their own world. I’d prefer to have schizophrenia than this washing OCD. Asked my pdoc about the Vegas killer. Pdoc said it could only be a mix of booze and Valium. And of course Paddock’s personality type was that of a psychopath. Somehow, I still suspect an SSRI/SNRI were involved. Pdocs won’t blame psych meds on which they make their living. All we can do is wait and hope the truth will somehow be revealed.