Feel completely hopeless

[[ne...]]

Hey MiYu, you seem such a sweet soul, and I am sorry to hear you suffer a lot. Here is some more info from the Ashton manual:

"Some people hit a "sticky patch" during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. However, increasing the dose until a longed-for plateau of 'stability' arrives is not a good strategy. The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system." ( source : http://www.benzo.org.uk/ashsupp11.htm )

 

I have also found TotalRelapses post interedting, on the "when should i taper" thread. I'm pasting it here:

"Bro, I'm sorry but you can't really fully stabilize while going through benzo-withdrawals and tapering. [...] I know long holds don't work too well for me ... Actually if it has been anywhere in between 2 weeks or a month you're ready for your next cut but your body and mind will tell you different. Cutting is really an act of faith if you think about it. "How do I know to make my next cut?". You just don't, you'll never be ready for it. Not even after 2 years. There will never be a right time to start a tapering process either. Or you would have to be on a really long vacation ...    :

 

 

I hope this helps. Sending some good vibes yourway.

[Guest [Fu...]]

But there *are* plenty of people who updosed or reinstated after a failed taper possibly because of going too fast who did stabilize. I'm just not one of them. I definitely should have grit my teeth last October and continued my taper but I can't go back in time and now I feel every little cut and my taper is 100 times worse. But everyone is just so different, we don't know until we try something. That uncertainty is a big reason I'm struggling so much. I'm terrified of trying a bigger cut and shocking my very sensitive nervous system into an even worse place which is extremely possible. I fully believe someday that I will heal but facing a long microtaper with no stability just feels impossible right now.

[[...]]

Hey MiYu, you seem such a sweet soul, and I am sorry to hear you suffer a lot. Here is some more info from the Ashton manual:

"Some people hit a "sticky patch" during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. However, increasing the dose until a longed-for plateau of 'stability' arrives is not a good strategy. The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system." ( source : http://www.benzo.org.uk/ashsupp11.htm )

 

I have also found TotalRelapses post interedting, on the "when should i taper" thread. I'm pasting it here:

"Bro, I'm sorry but you can't really fully stabilize while going through benzo-withdrawals and tapering. [...] I know long holds don't work too well for me ... Actually if it has been anywhere in between 2 weeks or a month you're ready for your next cut but your body and mind will tell you different. Cutting is really an act of faith if you think about it. "How do I know to make my next cut?". You just don't, you'll never be ready for it. Not even after 2 years. There will never be a right time to start a tapering process either. Or you would have to be on a really long vacation ...    :

 

 

I hope this helps. Sending some good vibes yourway.

 

Thanks newgirl !

It does seem quite impossible to decide when to cut . I ahead hung out in the long hold group a lot . Many buddies there do well with long holds to stabilize and then taper more successfully . Everyone is so different !

The prospect of continuing to taper while suffering so badly is just so daunting .

I am focusing on coping skills for my fear , I think that will help me to move forwards .

The fact is WDs from my last cut were so bad that I really couldn't cut more . The worst WDs so far .

And it was a tiny cut , so it has scared me a lot .

I really want to get lower in dose , but like Fuzzy, I am so scared I will make things worse .

 

Thanks again for your post and for the quotes . I wish I had the support of someone like Ashton,  in person . I don't have anyone Exocet the wonderful people here , which is great , but you kmow what I mean.

 

MiYu 

[[...]]

But there *are* plenty of people who updosed or reinstated after a failed taper possibly because of going too fast who did stabilize. I'm just not one of them. I definitely should have grit my teeth last October and continued my taper but I can't go back in time and now I feel every little cut and my taper is 100 times worse. But everyone is just so different, we don't know until we try something. That uncertainty is a big reason I'm struggling so much. I'm terrified of trying a bigger cut and shocking my very sensitive nervous system into an even worse place which is extremely possible. I fully believe someday that I will heal but facing a long microtaper with no stability just feels impossible right now.

 

FD , I can so relate , I'm in exactly the same space and place as you . I pray we both find some kind of bearable place to start tapering from. Being stuck is awful, and the fear of making things worse I totally get . I could never have anticipated what I've been through the last three months after a tiny cut in June . My nervous system is so sensitive I can barely tolerate anything .

 

I too know we will heal eventually , but what a cost .....

Wishing you all the best FD , we'll  get there , MiYu 

[[Ca...]]

Miyu and FuzzyD, I also wish the very best for you both... I can only imagine the confusion and frustration... Everything a double guess...

Strength to you both...

 

[[...]]

Miyu and FuzzyD, I also wish the very best for you both... I can only imagine the confusion and frustration... Everything a double guess...

Strength to you both...

 

Thank you Cant , Love MiYu