Ativan withdrawal.. help

[[se...]]

Was doign good for a day or two.

But I still have bad insomnia and today am reallly very anxious.

guess it's still coming off ativan.

I did not take any more.

I feel like I am goign through hell and will never get out.

crying, severely nervous, cannot sleep.

BAD. But I am NOT goign to take more of that stuff.

When I slept good on Monday I woke up feeling much better.

lisa

[[Pa...]]

You're one tough lady Lisa, and very determined.  I know how bad you're feeling, I lived it too, but you're going to get through this. 

 

What are you doing to calm yourself, are you using distraction to combat the fear and the anxiety?  We can't make all of it go away, but if we distract ourselves it takes our minds off it for a time.  Do you have anything you can do to help yourself?  Do you work, do you have a yard you can work in, or some hobbies?

[[se...]]

I cannot concentrate on anything.

I have two children who I love with all my heart and soul, 11 and 3, I am crazy for them.

I want to feel well and be able to take them out.

That's the reason I started taking ativan to begin with, made me feel like I could concentrate on life rather than on tinnitus.

But I had BAD anxiety before tinnitus, and think tinnitus is only a byproduct of severe fight or flight for years.

I never took anything for the anxiety.

ever.

My kids, well

THey are seeing me in a very BAD state. which makes me feel SO bad.

 

I sometimes feel like I am having a nervous breakdown.

I hope the benzos have not done permanent damage.

I was not on them long, but stopped and started and stopped ct a few times within the last 6 months.

But this has been the WORST withdrawal.

My tinnitus goes if I can sleep well , which I suppose is hopeful.

 

Please tell me this is withdrawal and I am NOT goign INSANE.

Thanks

Lisa

[[Pa...]]

You're doing the best possible thing for your children Lisa, you're giving them a Mom who will be present in their lives, one not drugged and flatlining through life.  I know it's hard, I know how scared they are you are, but this is withdrawal.  They are symptoms, they won't kill you, they aren't permanent and they'll go away when you heal.

 

Your past CT's of the drug are making this very difficult for you, so you have to make this your last time.  Once you get past this, you never have to do this again.  You're not going insane, this is what the drug makes us feel like but it isn't true.

 

Have you done much reading about this in the Ashton Manual, its good to look at Chapter 3, it has the symptoms in it, and every one of yours is in that chapter.  http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

 

 

[[se...]]

Oh no I will not go back on.EVER.

I am VERY frightened that I have damaged myself though.

Please god let that NOT be the case.

Sunday was the last time I took a little piece of ativan.

I cannot do that again to myself.

I will learn to relax naturally, whatever it takes.

At the moment I am too hyped up to relax my breathing is very fast,shallow and from my chest.

Fearing I will be tormented by tinnitus my whole life.

Just a lot of junk...

Thanks SO much,

appreciate it

Lisa

 

[[...]]

hi lisa,

 

nice meeting you in chat tonight.  i'm so sorry you are feeling so awful.  this is a very difficult process.  the w/ds will not kill you but they sure feel like they will.  everything you described is common to benzo w/d.  your body is reacting normally believe it or not.

 

hang in there...stay with us...come to chat.

 

best wishes,

 

leslie

[[se...]]

I was pretty nervous before ativan. Can someone PLEASe give me an idea of how long it will take to withdraw if I was on and off and on ativan for 6 months, and CT each time. This time being  the last.

I am so SURE that this angst I am feeling must be my  own and not from ativan withdrawal. I have not slept well at all for 2 weeks.

I feel SOO nervous it's insane, I do not feel right.

PLEASE tell me I have not done this permanently to myself. I am so freaked out.

I am worried I will look like a shivering crackhead for the rest of my life from taking this shite.

The other times I withdrew I do not remember it being SO bad.

But I have been off and on at least 3 times in the last 6 months.

ANyone else?

 

Lisa

 

 

[[ic...]]

Hi Lisa,

 

I too am prone to nervous energy (sounds more positive that way . Anyway, I became a wreck at one point in w/d just like you describe and had the same fears as you do. I was so scared that this is how I would stay. I literally trembeled and had teeth chattering, afraid of my own shadow, etc.

All I can tell you is that it goes away. Mine left and has never returned, and I'm 3 months off Ativan. I think becasue we are "nervous" people that maybe this symptom we are particulary sensitive to? I'm not sure, but I've heard on this grapevine that the w/d goes after your most vulnerable qualities.

Just keep reminding yourself that it is the w/d and that it will pass.

Best to you,

icandothis

[[se...]]

Thank you.

This is PURE POISON.

I can't even bring myself to read what ativan does to the nervous system.

I was severely nervous BEFORE ativan.

Still scared I am damaged, but trying to think more positively,

Crying every five minute, bawling and telling everyone how much I love them.

WHAT IS THIS !

Lisa

[[su...]]

Hello Lisa,

 

I just saw you are wondering if you are damaged. Professor Ashton, 'The Ashton Manual" states, " There is no reason to think that any such changes would be permanent." I hope reading this is helpful.

 

I see you are concerned about whether these withdrawal symptoms are permanent? No they are not permanent. Your body is trying to heal from the use of Ativan. It looks like you c/t this 3 times and that this will be the last time. That is good to hear.

 

In the meantime........you are having a lot of symptoms and are looking for some answers. What are you looking for specifically?

1) What happens in benzo withdrawal?

2) Why you are feeling this bad?

3) What can you do to help yourself?

4) Why you feel so nervous (anxious)?

 

Be easy on your self. I will be back to post some things that help.

 

Let me know what information you are looking for ......okay?

 

I am thinking of you and wishing you well,

Summer

[[su...]]

Hello Lisa,

 

So, since you are Ativan Free, you may want to consider what Ashton says about post benzo recovery.... . "Vulnerability to extra stress may last somewhat longer and a severe stress may-temporarily-bring back some symptoms."

 

One of the things you can do to help yourself........as Ashton says, "Calm your emotions. Above all, stop worrying. Worry, fear and anxiety increase all withdrawal symptoms. Many of these symptoms are actually due to anxiety and not signs of brain or nervous system damage. People who fear withdrawal have more intense symptoms than those who just take it as it comes and think positively and confidently about recovery."

 

 

I hope this helps.

I am thinking of you and wishing you well,

Summer

 

[[se...]]

well i was very anxious before I took this stuff, so I guess my own anxiety makes it worse?

I don;t know.

I PRAY this is ativan withdrawal I keep questioning whether it is or just my own anxiety.

I was taking 2-3 mgs for 3 weeks this last time...

then quickly stopped.

I wanna cry. afraid I am gonna be crazy like this forever.

Had a good day on TUesday. Didn't wake up in fear and nervous.

 

 

Lisa

[[su...]]

Hello Lisa,

 

Yes, anxiety is a part of the withdrawal symptoms that we can expect. It only makes sense......right? We are lowering our dose of and anti-anxiety medication......that our anxiety would get worse. Mine is an issue too. I am tapering right now and have anxiety as I am going through the taper process.

 

As stated in the above post........Calming your Emotions........in there it is stated that anxiety does increase the withdrawal symptoms. It is important to try to stay as calm as possible.

 

Here are some descriptions of anxiety people have felt during withdrawals. I hope this is helpful.

 

“The Accidental Addict” by Di Porritt and Di Russell 2006

 

Anxiety and Fear

Almost everyone suffers from increased anxiety in withdrawal. People who take benzos to help their anxiety find that in the long run it comes back-only with greater intensity.”

 

“The word anxiety just isn't strong enough to communicate how I felt.”

 

“For many people who are given benzos for a life crisis or a physical problem like back injury, this comes as quite a shock, as they have never had severe anxiety before.”

 

It is not unusual to have anxiety higher than you have felt in the past.

 

I am thinking of you and wishing you well,

Summer

[[se...]]

And this higher anxiety WILL go away?

Sorry , I am completely gripped with fear. I get surges of panic.

This is horrible

I keep analysing and thinking about why I had a good day on Tuesday.

I dont; know.

ANd I dont; know if it can happen again.

I pray so.

 

Lisa

[[Pa...]]

Lisa,

 

Benzo anxiety is the worst, it's more exaggerated and intense than normal anxiety.  What you're feeling now will diminish as you heal and you'll be left with what you had before you started on this drug.  I would bet that this is way worse than the way you were before, right?

 

Our symptoms can change day to day, hour to hour so don't worry about trying to figure what changed from Tuesday to today.  We can't predict it or control it. 

 

Try to be calm, worrying just makes things worse, so accept and push through this.

[[se...]]

tHIS IS VERY BAD ANXIETY.

IT JUST POPS UP AND TAKES OVER.

sorry for caps.

It's bad fear.

I worry a lot.

always have.

Lisa

[[...]]

Lisa, just to let you know you are not alone.  Every day, at least once a day, I reach a point where my anxiety is so high that I feel like I will not be able to stand it one more minute!  I try deep breathing, but it only helps a little.  I usually ask my husband for support and he will try to calm me down, but again, it only does so much.  I just have to endure it.  This is like no anxiety I have ever had and I've had anxiety my whole life.  What do you do to help yourself calm down when you are feeling bad anxiety and fear.  Maybe we can help each other through this...yes, it is bad fear.  But, it's the benzos exacerbating what we were put on the crap for.  It does take over, and then we try to figure out what we're afraid of when really, it's just the drugs making our brains fearful.  Take care, Lisa.  I'm right there with you in that hard place.  ~~mbr

[[se...]]

Hi

THanks for talking I appreciate it.

I too have had bad anxiety way b4 this.

This is way worse.

 

I can't do much to calm down . I try... pray. breathe.. forget exercise.. just that is an overwhelming thought.

Breathing isnt' too good.

 

I cant' even focus out of myself.. it's horrible.

I had bad health anxiety before this.

I dont; know if I will ever be good again.

Or if I can be much help as I am scared myself.

But maybe it will get better I am SO HOPING

Thank you for talking I appreciate it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very much!

PLEASE god..

 

 

Lisa

 

[[su...]]

Hello Lisa,

 

I see you are having a time of it.

 

Hey........I wanted to share some thoughts...........

 

The only known cure for benzo wd is.... Time......Oceans of time. I am tapering.....yet, still suffering in waves.

 

Some things that work the best are.......Information ......accurate information about this can be extremely beneficial to recovery.

 

Support........adequate support is essential to recovery...........and you are finding that too.

 

Good diet.........a well-balanced diet is most helpful.

 

and Rest........adequate rest is essential in recovery.

 

Acceptance...........one of the most difficult things in wd is learning to accept. Acceptance is a big thing.......not to fight the sx's.

 

These are some things to keep in mind when you have a day like you are having. Maybe something in the above can help you get through the day a little easier. I am here for you.

 

This is very difficult to experience.........I think you are doing great.

 

I hope this is helpful.

I am thinking of you and wishing you well,

Summer

 

[[su...]]

Hello Lisa,

 

Hey, I wanted to let you know that I have had times when I am having really intense withdrawal symptoms that it is hard to think of anything else.

 

I know the fear you are talking about. When my anxiety gets really high......I feel fearful too. This is not easy to feel.

 

The symptoms can be overwhelming.........and all we want is relief. I understand.

 

I am glad you are here.....reaching out for support is really important.

 

I know you are in the throws of the symptoms right now.........I have been there too.

 

I am thinking of you and wishing you well,

Summer

 

 

 

 

[[CJ...]]

Hi

THanks for talking I appreciate it.

I too have had bad anxiety way b4 this.

This is way worse.

 

I can't do much to calm down . I try... pray. breathe.. forget exercise.. just that is an overwhelming thought.

Breathing isnt' too good.

 

I cant' even focus out of myself.. it's horrible.

I had bad health anxiety before this.

I dont; know if I will ever be good again.

Or if I can be much help as I am scared myself.

But maybe it will get better I am SO HOPING

Thank you for talking I appreciate it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very much!

PLEASE god..

 

 

Lisa

 

Yea, I get anxiety attacks where I become convinced my brain has broken and will never work again.  Of course, a few hours later I'm back to normal.  But the anxiety is a darn good liar and will tell you all these terrible things and you just have to keep saying to it "Bullsh*t!"

It's tough.  But you can't believe what the anxiety is telling you no matter how convincing it tries to be.

[[se...]]

I had an okay day yesterday. If I sleep deeply I seem to feel better.

I am so anxious and frightened today. Is this still withdrawal?

I am never going to feel right!

I obsess over the tinnitus.

the tinnitus scares me bad.

Maybe I"m done.. short term ativan ruined me forever..

I don't know..

I want to feel right and happy.

Last time I took a tiny bit was last SUnday.

No more after that..

I give up-

I feel like my life is over.. no more happiness. just tinnitus.. obsessing over it. Ativan just made everything so much worse.

this is horrible

Lisa

 

[[...]]

Seoreh

I think eventually things will be better for u , Ativan will not ruin or take your life  or happiness, it will confused you because of the w/d's that appear when u discontinue it or reduce the dosage as you taper it down . This will pass and you will regain your life as it was or better . There are ways to combat the tinnitus , I do get it on and off , but I have learned ways to ignore it . If you browse or do a search on it you will find many answers on the subject . Give time a chance and practice patience , all will be better , I don't believe using this med will give you any benefits since you already have made up your mind not to take anymore.

Hang in there and understand that you will have your life back .

Tino

[[se...]]

Just please tell me again it IS the withdrawal... cause I feel more insane than ever.

I keep thinking that it should be done by now...

I guess ignoring Tinnitus is the best thing and relaxing.. but i get very wrapped up in it

Very high strung..

I was before ativan.. but this has made it worse.

How long might withdrawal last if I was on and off and on and off for 6 months?

Just a general idea..

I probably asked this before, I"m sure...

Lisa

[[Pa...]]

Hi Lisa,

 

We have no way of knowing how long this will last.  It would be best if you tried to read some of the literature about this, to help you understand it.  I've read the whole Ashton Manual many times, and found it very helpful.  Chapter 3 let me see that my symptoms were normal and not to fear them. 

 

Would you please add a signature, this will help us help you.  If you could add your details, I'd appreciate it.  Here are some instructions.  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=9432.0