Agoraphobia

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Whew,

 

I thought I had agoraphobia before!!! I did a 2.5% cut of my dose and ended up with horrible sxs including increased agoraphobia. I'm sensitive to every little noise and movement. Everyone was gone for awhile and I started to feel better. Then my hubby came home and everything is getting worse again. I had to go hide in the basement and now I don't want to leave here. Hopefully the sxs will subside soon. 2.5% is such a tiny cut I'm really surprised at how hard it hit me. 

[[Fi...]]

The anticipation/speculation about it may have hit you more tntd 

 

I intuit a large dollop of that 

 

Let go with both hands and accept. You'll be right as rain and it will all settle down again.

 

 

:smitten:

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Hi Fizzlewitch,

 

You may be right though I didn't think a tiny cut of 2.5% was really going to be that bad. Despite that there was still speculation and anticipation as there always is. 

 

I always find it harder to let go and accept when I'm in the thick of it, though I know that's exactly what I need to do. I use distraction a lot when it gets tough.

 

I was reading a post on Beyond Meds where she talks about the agoraphobia being just extreme sensitivity to everything. I've been telling my husband that I think that is what it is for awhile so it was really nice to find a post by someone else that feels the same way. She had a few people respond that they also feel that way. The question is when will the extreme sensitivity start to subside.

 

"In a very real sense, in benzo withdrawal the brain seems to lose its ability to filter out stimuli"  and "From my experience with lots of folks in benzo withdrawal over the past 18 months, I can say that I hear of many, many folks who experience this kind of “agorophobia”. I think Ashton mentions it in Ch. 3. And it is just as you described. It is not what we typically think of as agorophobia. It is hyper-sensitivity to stimuli."

 

Let go and accept with both hands, radical acceptance, both of these are essential to help get through this experience. I am planning on asking my psychologist to help me work on it a bit more as I do struggle with it. I was doing really well and then I don't know what happened but my acceptance abilities were sorely compromised. I will keep working on it though. :smitten:

 

Thanks for all your input, I really appreciate it 

[[Fi...]]

YW 

 

If things get a bit rough, I run towards it and mentally "stand right in the middle of it" willingly. It's a counter-intuitive response, for sure, and that's probably why most people think it's a bit mad to do it - but it works. You don't have to "do" anything, just be there. Like diving into the swimming pool, it gets easier - and you get more proficient - with practice.

 

In a sense, it's like being a teacher who enters an unruly classroom and, quite quickly, all the kids scarper, settle down and zippit, just by that presence alone  :laugh:

 

 

:smitten:

[[...]]

You know, I tried that once when I was really anxious, after I had CT'd my AD and before I started my taper. I was following the guidance of a mindfullness meditation. He said to be with the anxiety, just be in the middle of it. The idea was that it would reduce naturally because you aren't fighting it. It didn't work. My anxiety went up instead. I haven't tried it again since then.

 

What I do instead is note it and then let it go. Which really means that I note it, it's there, I recognize it, and then move on to other things and it fades to the background because I'm busy with typing, or reading, or whatever. Sometimes I forget to do this and things can escalate but usually this works well for me. 

 

I love your visuals though. I have to admit that I'm afraid to try it again after what happened the first time.

 

[[Fi...]]

You know, I tried that once when I was really anxious, after I had CT'd my AD and before I started my taper. I was following the guidance of a mindfullness meditation. He said to be with the anxiety, just be in the middle of it. The idea was that it would reduce naturally because you aren't fighting it. It didn't work. My anxiety went up instead. I haven't tried it again since then.

 

What I do instead is note it and then let it go. Which really means that I note it, it's there, I recognize it, and then move on to other things and it fades to the background because I'm busy with typing, or reading, or whatever. Sometimes I forget to do this and things can escalate but usually this works well for me. 

 

I love your visuals though. I have to admit that I'm afraid to try it again after what happened the first time.

 

 

 

Oh I fully understand that. 

 

 

I am planning on asking my psychologist to help me work on it a bit more as I do struggle with it.

 

Maybe that ^^^ is the best way forward, then.

 

 

My feeling is that success depends on totally being in it - not holding any little bit back. I fully agree that that can be very hard to do and that it can be a big leap. But I also know from my own experience that practice helps 

 

Be sure to let us know how you're doing 

 

 

:smitten:

 

 

[[Tw...]]

Hi Fizzlewitch,

 

You may be right though I didn't think a tiny cut of 2.5% was really going to be that bad. Despite that there was still speculation and anticipation as there always is. 

 

I always find it harder to let go and accept when I'm in the thick of it, though I know that's exactly what I need to do. I use distraction a lot when it gets tough.

 

I was reading a post on Beyond Meds where she talks about the agoraphobia being just extreme sensitivity to everything. I've been telling my husband that I think that is what it is for awhile so it was really nice to find a post by someone else that feels the same way. She had a few people respond that they also feel that way. The question is when will the extreme sensitivity start to subside.

 

"In a very real sense, in benzo withdrawal the brain seems to lose its ability to filter out stimuli"  and "From my experience with lots of folks in benzo withdrawal over the past 18 months, I can say that I hear of many, many folks who experience this kind of “agorophobia”. I think Ashton mentions it in Ch. 3. And it is just as you described. It is not what we typically think of as agorophobia. It is hyper-sensitivity to stimuli."

 

Let go and accept with both hands, radical acceptance, both of these are essential to help get through this experience. I am planning on asking my psychologist to help me work on it a bit more as I do struggle with it. I was doing really well and then I don't know what happened but my acceptance abilities were sorely compromised. I will keep working on it though. :smitten:

 

Thanks for all your input, I really appreciate it 

 

I have agoraphobia and I think the quote you mentioned from beyond meds is spot on! So for me its getting out the door, to the place and typically once I'm there and push myself a little to go on I am able to get through the endeavor. Its not fun but Ive found hiding all the time wasn't the answer. I think it makes things worse for me at least. Just like I have a schedule for my taper, I also schedule in times when I need to see a friend, go out in public, put myself into what feels uncomfortable and Ive survived so far and it helps my confidence too.

[[Fi...]]

My experience tells me there's a time to "push" and a time not to "push".

 

With the sort of benzo-induced agoraphobia common to us all, my view was "Don't Push" - based on a thorough examination of all available benzo-related information, along with my own experience. In fact, more than that, I felt "pushing" was counter-productive, debilitating and, most likely, strengthening the inhibition.

 

You'll notice, all of that is written in the past tense, for now there is no more agoraphobia. 

 

I do recognise that we are 'all different', etc., but in this particular condition, caused by this particular poison, the choice of "invite trouble" or "don't invite trouble", in view of all the available evidence, was a no-brainer.

 

 

[[...]]

I don't know if I'm doing things wrong, after a couple of months tapering I got increased anxiety and pushed myself to hard and had a couple of bad attacks that to this day scares me.

When I did exposure training before I started with benzoes I could feel progress and a sense of mastering the situation.

 

But, the way my anxiety is today is not manageable, have tried so many times, and every time the anxiety finds a new way to scare the life out of me, impressed by how creative the anxiety is, no matter how I prepare the anxiety finds a new way to scare me .

 

I've been outside for short durations (1-2Min's), but haven't managed more during the last 4 months, I'm scared I will lose my mind being so isolated , luckily I live with my mother so she's a big support.

 

The only ting I'm able to do is to keep tapering at a slow rate and pray that thing will get better.

[[...]]

Since my 2.5% cut on Jan 12th my agoraphobia has gotten worse. I was able to make it to one of my dr appointments but not the other two. I'm now starting to feel really lonely and getting depressed. I'm hoping the depression is only due to the cut and not the agoraphobia. I don't know how to get past the lonliness.

 

I've been using acceptance but since I made the cut I've been really struggling with the acceptance. On top of that my daughter just started the spring semester of school and she has two day classes. She also took a different job and will be working during the day on the days she doesn't have class so I will be home alone most of the time. I always dreaded the days she would have to work and I would be alone so that might be part of my depression too. Not sure how to handle the isolation especially as it looks like my taper is going to take years so I may be housebound for years.

 

Hope others are finding their way out of this particular w/d symptom. 

[[Fi...]]

I think its inevitable that there will be ups and downs with it while you're still on the drug tntd. 

 

It certainly isn't set in stone that if it gets worse, it will stay worse, though. I found standing back from making those kinds of judgement about it as relieving as it was difficult. Some days will be better than others - at least in my experience. Unpredictability, as in everything else connected to WD, is the big frustration.

 

The real clearance begins from the time the drug is out of your system. Little by little - again, non-linearly and forwards-and-backwards, this happened for me (and everyone else too) An hour ago, I was out around the shops without a bother (still a nice surprise) whereas this time last year, I couldn't leave my room, nevermind the house.

 

Fully signing up to "so what" is still your best bet, as is taking yourself out of the judgemental firing-line and freeing yourself up from thinking you 'have to'. All of it is benzo-induced, it's not "you", and all of it is involuntary and outside your responsibility.

 

 

 

 

:smitten:

 

 

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Thanks for your support fizzlewitch. I'm just not sure how to deal with the isolation and lonliness I'm feeling. It's causing a bit of depression currently which is making using the coping skills harder than usual. 

[[Fi...]]

Thanks for your support fizzlewitch. I'm just not sure how to deal with the isolation and lonliness I'm feeling. It's causing a bit of depression currently which is making using the coping skills harder than usual. 

 

 

I understand. 

 

I'm still looking forward to the day, though, when I see a post form you saying: "Guess what I did today......?" 

 

 

 

 

:smitten:

 

 

 

 

 

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I hope that day comes sooner rather than later. I know it will happen though as I didn't have agoraphobia before all this withdrawal stuff happened.

 

Thanks so much for your support.  It really means a lot.

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Has anyone here tried micro-doses of Lamictal for hypersensitivity that leads to agorphobia? I'm talking .5mg to 5mg.

[[Fi...]]

Has anyone here tried micro-doses of Lamictal for hypersensitivity that leads to agorphobia? I'm talking .5mg to 5mg.

 

 

Not me anyhow. I think I'd rather burn my broomstick than experiment with any further meds  :laugh:

 

Have you researched it elsewhere? I don't know anything about it other than reading posts from others who ended up tapering it too. Maybe a search in the box up there to the right?

 

 

:smitten:

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Hi Fizzlewitch,

 

I've been researching the heck out of it. There is a whole thread devoted to it on Surviving Antidepressants. I've been picking my way through the threads that mention it on this forum. Not a lot about people using it in micro doses for sxs it's more about people who are already on it or are thinking of going it in larger doses.

 

I know what you mean about burning your broomstick first. I guess that tells you how desperate I've become. Though at micro doses it shouldn't be too hard to get off of. Not from what I've read anyway.

 

Thank you so much for your response. I always appreciate your comments  :smitten:

[[Tw...]]

Hi Fizzlewitch,

 

I've been researching the heck out of it. There is a whole thread devoted to it on Surviving Antidepressants. I've been picking my way through the threads that mention it on this forum. Not a lot about people using it in micro doses for sxs it's more about people who are already on it or are thinking of going it in larger doses.

 

I know what you mean about burning your broomstick first. I guess that tells you how desperate I've become. Though at micro doses it shouldn't be too hard to get off of. Not from what I've read anyway.

 

Thank you so much for your response. I always appreciate your comments  :smitten:

 

My personal experience with Lamictal was that it really didn't do anything honestly. I was on for years with the benzo and I basically just stopped taking it no problem.

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Hi Twowheels,

 

Thaks so much for your response. My pdoc said that it might not help at all but if there is even the littlest chance I'm tempted. I'm still not sure though. Thanks again 

[[Tw...]]

Hi Twowheels,

 

Thaks so much for your response. My pdoc said that it might not help at all but if there is even the littlest chance I'm tempted. I'm still not sure though. Thanks again 

 

no problemo

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I did try the lamotrigine. It caused me to have an allergic reaction even at the tiny dose of .05mg that I tried. So that's out.

 

I'm really struggling with feeling lonely because I'm alone all the time. At the same time the idea of someone visiting me makes me just as anxious as the thought of going out does. It's so frustrating.

 

I've been feeling so lonely that I decided I was going to try to go grocery shopping with my husband today. Instead I ended up terrified and crying. Then I just kept crying. I think I made my sxs ramp up a bit because of the stress I put myself through. Just to go grocery shopping. I feel so trapped! :'(

 

 

[[Al...]]

I read a good story from some guy who beat his panic disorder and agorophobia and it helped me alot. You have a choice - you can panic inside your house or you panic outside - what will you choose? Logically there is no difference between your house and the street, except in your mind. Be bold and go outside and gradually expand your territory. There's more likely to be things you can positively ditract yourself with outside versus in your house where the only thing to do is ruminate.

[[...]]

It's a good story and I'm not trying to be disagreable but I don't think this will work for everyone.

 

For example: I'm not panicking inside my house. I have a little anxiety that's easily overcome as I go about doing things I need to do. When I go out to my Dr apts then my anxiety skyrockets and is worse the whole time I'm out. For me, being in my house is comfortable and safe.

 

It also sounds like that person wasn't trying to w/d from benzo's and that is a whole different experience. From all the reading I've been doing and the different people I've talked to about agoraphobia in w/d it seems there are different types and different levels. Even Dr Ashton talks about different levels of agoraphobia. She said some people were able to go places with a safe person and others weren't able to leave their homes at all. In addition therapy of any type didn't help with the agoraphobia that was caused by benzo's.

 

I think each person in w/d with agoraphobia will have to find a way to deal with it that best suits their situation. For some that means not leaving their bedrooms and for other's that means only being able to go out with someone and maybe only to certain places.

 

Everything I have read from dr's, including Dr Ashton, and sufferers of w/d agoraphobia shows that once people are through w/d and the sxs start to subside the agoraphobia also goes away on it's own because it is only a sxs of w/d.

 

Hugs and healing

 

 

[[Ju...]]

Dr. Claire Weekes' really helped me fight Agoraphobia. First I read her book,

then later got her CD. But it's free on youtube, so i found out later.

She was a true pioneer in this kind of work !

 

My agoraphobia has lessened quite a bit since I started my taper.

good luck,

-Justaman

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I started doing a long hold at the end of February. Since then I've had a few windows where I have been able to get out and go places. When my agoraphobia gets low enough I try to make sure I get out and do something. I have found that this isn't really true agoraphobia though. It's more hypersensitivity. I get over stimulated by noise and movement and light very easily but when I'm in a window or light wave I'm not as sensitive to the stimulation and that's when I find I can go do things. If I start to feel overwhelmed I either go home or find a quiet place to "hide" for awhile.

 

Our air conditioning went out and we had the windows open and the blinds up and I couldn't leave our bedroom until the blinds were drawn at least. Then I found that being in the basement where the noise doesn't really penetrate was the best place to be. I'm really looking forward to not being so sensitive to everything!!

 

I hope others are finding relief from their "agoraphobia".