The December 2015-February 2016 Jump Club

[[Be...]]

At first I used just plain ole tree bark from a health food store. Then I found out if you take any stimulant for the C regularly, your colon muscles get used to it and become weak and then you can't go on your own. So I am now trying to build up my muscles and drink aloe vera juice concentrate, along with a slug of mineral oil. It helps but I still have a ways to go. In the meantime, it is literally a pain in the butt. But I think I've been making progress. I been doing this for two weeks now. I know, TMI.

 

TMI? I just adore knowing about your bowel habits. 

[[be...]]

I can tell you about my dysfunctional family next......................

[[kr...]]

Ang such good news hope you continue to feel good . eric i went to hawaii and just fell in love with it hope you enjoy!

Havent had much time for internet...painting house and other stuff before summer season starts. physically better but emotionally going through lots of realizations about myself and beating my self up and getting angry at people from my past..Its a slippery slope and hate how i feel. trying to practice mindfulness so i wont be mad at the past or fearful of future.

[[kr...]]

pensioner yes still workin on quitting and thanks for earlier post replying about having similar feelings as ive been describing lately. hope it recedes. im at 5 mo now. i think its stuff ive been holding while in zombie land

[[Sh...]]

Kris1967 that is definitely a symptom. This withdrawal makes me think about the past and the regrets and analyze them non stop. Its not real! It benzos lies. It feels true and you start to feel horrible about yourself. But youve got to remember its not really how you feel about yourself.

[[Er...]]

Ang such good news hope you continue to feel good . eric i went to hawaii and just fell in love with it hope you enjoy!

Havent had much time for internet...painting house and other stuff before summer season starts. physically better but emotionally going through lots of realizations about myself and beating my self up and getting angry at people from my past..Its a slippery slope and hate how i feel. trying to practice mindfulness so i wont be mad at the past or fearful of future.

 

Thanks!  I grew up there so try to get back at least once a year to see friends and family.  I'm glad your physical symptoms are going well and I wish I could say the same about your emotions. 

[[Er...]]

I've had more anxiety, muscle ticks, and general weirdness feeling these past 3 days.  The 4am waking is back in full force as well. I have also had some brief bouts of lip numbness and my hands have been tingly as well.  I jumped off of my Flonase last week (a corticosteroid antihistamine) so I think that may have something to do with it.  I did some reading up online and there is some very rare w/d symptoms from it and one of the rare side effects from stopping a steroid is the anxiety and tingling I guess.  I'm guessing since my CNS is already very fragile that this isn't helping things.  It does sound like any side effects from stopping antihistamines and steroids are very short term so I'm really hoping this goes away quickly.  I keep feeling SOOO CLOSE to being completely healed and then I get hit with a wave which is totally demoralizing.

[[Ho...]]

Well my obsessive thinking and past guilts have returned today. Can't seem to turn the channel. Quit chewing and this is what I get. I still have a hard time with is this me or a wave. Why do I even think of this crap. I woke up with the restless anxiety in my legs too. What a bummer. Hope everyone greening good! God bless

[[Be...]]

Eric, it would seem to me that stopping the Flonase may be a culprit with the anxiety. Can you avoid taking this and use saline spray instead?

 

Hockeylife, I would chalk up the obsessive thoughts to Benzo withdrawals. Your brain is still trying to come into balance. What does it mean, you quit chewing?

 

Bennie

[[Ho...]]

I quit chewing tobacco last week.

[[Be...]]

I quit chewing tobacco last week.

 

Got it.

[[be...]]

Hey ya Bennie:

 

I asked this of WR but am asking you as well. I know this is off topic and I'm sorry for hijacking this thread. Can you do me a huge favor and send a PM to Liberty as I made a mistake in my reply to her and as you know, I can't use my PM system. It was about my pdoc. I told her my pdoc would expect me to be his 6th person to suffer from withdrawal but in fact what he said was I won't be one who will suffer from withdrawal, so I won't be the 6th person. She wanted to know if my pdoc was good or not, so if you think he is, please tell her so. I hope no bean bag for you today. Thank you very much. I will check back on this thread. Sorry to hijack this thread, folks.......

[[Be...]]

Bets: Done.

 

I'm holding my own today. Thanks.

 

Happy Sunday.

Bennie

[[an...]]

I had a pretty good week while being out of town at a conference. I felt like it helped me to step out of my own mind and back into reality. It really, really, really, helped me. Then I came home this morning, got a text from the neighbor that a man (my sister's boyfriend- who is a felon and has a warrant) jumped out of the window when I came in the house. So then I went off on her on text message and kicked her out and gave her 3 weeks to get out so now I'm the one back in panic and anxiety / mini-wave now because of the stress. All week was great - the people so supportive - and I come home to my own family betraying me. She knows he is NOT ALLOWED in MY HOUSE.

UG

 

Sorry for the rant. Only you guys would understand. I'll be on the couch until further notice.

[[Be...]]

I had a pretty good week while being out of town at a conference. I felt like it helped me to step out of my own mind and back into reality. It really, really, really, helped me. Then I came home this morning, got a text from the neighbor that a man (my sister's boyfriend- who is a felon and has a warrant) jumped out of the window when I came in the house. So then I went off on her on text message and kicked her out and gave her 3 weeks to get out so now I'm the one back in panic and anxiety / mini-wave now because of the stress. All week was great - the people so supportive - and I come home to my own family betraying me. She knows he is NOT ALLOWED in MY HOUSE.

UG

 

Sorry for the rant. Only you guys would understand. I'll be on the couch until further notice.

 

Ang,

 

Sounds ridiculously stressful even without Benzo recovery! Sorry to hear this. Yet very glad you had a preceding week that was good. Hopefully you'll find some peace and balance soon.

 

Bennie

[[an...]]

Happy 6 months Benniejets! HOW DO YOU FEEL!

[[pe...]]

Hi all:

 

Ang, glad the conference went well.  Sorry about your sister.  That could be material for EMDR I expect.  Siblings can touch a nerve.

 

Hockey, hang in there with the quitting. Remember you have lost a "friend," a bad one, but a  friend still, and that is bound to bring up some stuff.

 

Bennie, OK.  I get it.  Listening to baseball on the radio in a darkened room would leave plenty of space for the imagination.  Much less aggravating than TV.

 

kris, I understand about those old feelings and memories, mostly unwanted, coming up out of nowhere. I really, really, don't like it. So pointless.  It has to be withdrawal.

 

Eric, I think you are in Hawaii.  Sorry to here about your recent wave.  But still you are active, doing things, going places.  You are on the mend.

 

I am six months out just about, and have to report sadly that I am no better and in some ways worse.  Fatigue, dark thoughts, depression, I think.  I learned a few days ago that a colleague with whom I worked for ten years has inoperable brain cancer.  More stuff like that has been occurring.  I know this happens when one is older.  But the knowledge doesn't make the events less intrusive, less painful at a time when my "nerves" seem stretched to the limit.

 

Best to all on this Sunday.

[[an...]]

Best to you pensionier1 Have  you noticed any changes this month? I will bring this material to EMDR- never thought of that!

 

 

Does anyone else experience dizziness? I feel ok when walking- it's when I stop walking that I have a problem. It feels like the kitchen sink is not as close to me as I thought it was, or when I stop at a stoplight and look forward at the street, it feels like the street is still moving. I just went grocery shopping, stopped at the deli counter and it looked farther away and then close again. I can't tell if this is my eyes focusing wrong or my ears balancing wrong. A little frightening really! I think I should go get this checked out maybe (i am afraid of doctors / phobia) but I think they will think I am nuts!

[[be...]]

Best to you pensionier1 Have  you noticed any changes this month? I will bring this material to EMDR- never thought of that!

 

 

Does anyone else experience dizziness? I feel ok when walking- it's when I stop walking that I have a problem. It feels like the kitchen sink is not as close to me as I thought it was, or when I stop at a stoplight and look forward at the street, it feels like the street is still moving. I just went grocery shopping, stopped at the deli counter and it looked farther away and then close again. I can't tell if this is my eyes focusing wrong or my ears balancing wrong. A little frightening really! I think I should go get this checked out maybe (i am afraid of doctors / phobia) but I think they will think I am nuts!

 

I think that's a bit of blurry vision and perhaps a bit of D/R. Don't worry, it's common and will go away.

[[Be...]]

Best to you pensionier1 Have  you noticed any changes this month? I will bring this material to EMDR- never thought of that!

 

 

Does anyone else experience dizziness? I feel ok when walking- it's when I stop walking that I have a problem. It feels like the kitchen sink is not as close to me as I thought it was, or when I stop at a stoplight and look forward at the street, it feels like the street is still moving. I just went grocery shopping, stopped at the deli counter and it looked farther away and then close again. I can't tell if this is my eyes focusing wrong or my ears balancing wrong. A little frightening really! I think I should go get this checked out maybe (i am afraid of doctors / phobia) but I think they will think I am nuts!

 

I think that's a bit of blurry vision and perhaps a bit of D/R. Don't worry, it's common and will go away.

 

It does seem like derealization. And if you read Ashton and elsewhere there's an explanation for the eyes going blurry. Our eye muscles do not have a lot of fine motor control and can be effected by muscle relaxers. Eyes and ears tend to be effected similarly, and often are last sxs to recover.

[[be...]]

Ain't I the smart one Bennie?  I learned it from you.

[[Be...]]

I'm in bed. Very dizzy. Really disturbing since this is the most I've ever been dizzy. It may be that my body is just thrown off balance from doing an unexpected medical procedure earlier today. I had a uterine biopsy. I went in to talk to my GYN and ended up just doing the procedure. It was no problem. But a few hours later I got nauseous and dizzy. Hard to know why, or if it matters. I just want to be well. Not exhausted. I've cried. I'm worn out.

[[ca...]]

I'm in bed. Very dizzy. Really disturbing since this is the most I've ever been dizzy. It may be that my body is just thrown off balance from doing an unexpected medical procedure earlier today. I had a uterine biopsy. I went in to talk to my GYN and ended up just doing the procedure. It was no problem. But a few hours later I got nauseous and dizzy. Hard to know why, or if it matters. I just want to be well. Not exhausted. I've cried. I'm worn out.

Bennie, any medical procedure will throw things off and remember your body and brain is still healing so again realize this is most likely why your feeling so dizzy I bet the farm on it, it will pass!. So sending healing and peace to you !

[[an...]]

Well, I just read the Ashton manual again and it seems to me that what I am experiencing would fall in the "perceptual distortions" category rather than dp/dr. It really doesn't feel like dp/dr to me at all. Perceptual distortion? Yes- closer to the truth I think. But really- does it matter? Still another symptom, ugh!

 

[[Be...]]

Well, I just read the Ashton manual again and it seems to me that what I am experiencing would fall in the "perceptual distortions" category rather than dp/dr. It really doesn't feel like dp/dr to me at all. Perceptual distortion? Yes- closer to the truth I think. But really- does it matter? Still another symptom, ugh!

 

Yup, still another symptom.