so kindled and sick failed detox failed reinstatement

[[Hi...]]

I tried detox again  after being  reinstated for 8 months im so sick i dont know what direction  to go im litterally insane ive tried crossing  over ive tried tapering  with scale i need out of my body is it possible to be so kindled that the meds are toxic. When i was in detox there was a two day period before acute hit that my find felt clear is that cux im being poisoned i cant make it through  another withdrawal it never ended last timeoh god show me what to do

[[Hi...]]

akathisia and torment burning skin coming o. Strong dk what to do

[[Hi...]]

Im so kindled from attempting 6 phenobarbital detoxes i reinstated 9 months ago along with methadone i tried another detox and my body and mind couldn't handle it now im back on ativan i only made it a week and it got so bad but now things are pretty much just as bad idk what to do my akathisia and terror are so bad im having acute withdrawal symptoms on the benzos for goodness sake i dont know how to taper i feelsotoxicand sick and my mi d ismush all i can do is cry and pace and think of how to get out of this get off so healing can hhappen but my symptoms are too severe to even taper but staying the same doest help can anyone ofer advice? Does anyone know anyone thats been in the same position ? I dontknowwhat i need and the doctors dont either

[[be...]]

and we don't know either. i wish we had the answers. i wish someone had the answers. I hate to see anyone suffering like you do on a daily basis. i wish i never how you could get a grip on this and began healing.

[[Be...]]

Praying for you, Chris.  I think about you often and the hell you're going through.  Your body can't handle being on the pills and you can't get off them easily.  It's so horrible.  I wish to God someone could help you or a miracle would occur?  Call a miracle healing ministry?  Oral Roberts or Benny Hinn ministry or something?  What else can be done? 

[[Hi...]]

I need a tool probably medical to battle the akathisia thats my biggest ennemy in this if i could just figure out how i could move forward

[[Fu...]]

I'm not a religious man but when I detoxed from opiates, alcohol and cocaine, I prayed, I laid on my kitchen floor begging for my life and my prayers were answered.

[Guest [CM...]]

Chris did you call the rehab guy that one of the other California posters listed for you?

Maybe they can help you.

Did you try to call Alternative to Meds Center in Arizona ?

See if they can work with your insurance ?

I've read some of their site, maybe they can help you.

Praying for you as well. 🙏

 

[[li...]]

'When i was in detox there was a two day period before acute hit that my find felt clear'

Maybe that was because of the pheno you were on ?

 

[[Hi...]]

Yes i had that clarity also it was like the inbetween state when the benzos were out so they werent causing the symptoms and then it hit hard on day 5 and 6 and 7 i was begging to make it stop

 

I called the place in Arizona very nice people but no not insurrance and they dont do detox only taper off meds but with my severity they said need something else first. I want off these meds iknow the last time i was able to make it off and stay off i was on gabapentinand had to do a very slow phenobarbitaltaper i need to combat the akathisia and dysphoria somehow i know the methadone is interrelated to this somehow cuz when i first started it it took my akathisia away and cleared my mind but now i get no feeling from it i hope its not causing akathisia i want to get off the benzos first and then do methadone but idk what to do i just know i need inpatient medical help to do this

[Guest [CM...]]

Chris.

I'm sorry they can't help in Arizona, I was hoping they could do something for you. What about inpatient psych? There has to be a decent place in California (although no one really handles these things right). I feel sad that you are suffering so much. I am really sick and housebound myself, not functioning but I am off meds. Ugh. This is such a nightmare. I am praying so hard for you, for all of us.

I hope you get some relief very soon Chris.

[[Th...]]

You need to be with people that can watch you. Can you stay with anyone? You should not be alone.

[[Be...]]

Chris, say "Jesus help me" over and over again.  He'll help you.  He's there in the spirit.  Imagine him there with you. 

[[Hi...]]

Thanks guys i know i need detox its the only way for me i just need a tool to combat akathisia

[[Ma...]]

impossible situation for you chris, the only way is to stop taking benzos and heal, im not sure how youll do it, but thats what you need to do . these things are toxic for everyone , with more or less in severity. but if you can somehow stop taking them you will heal and feel better given time. as long as your putting them in your body you ll never get better, i hope you find the strength to get through this its a terrible situation.

[[Hi...]]

I donteven knowhowto taper or measure out that much from each pill. My symptoms are so severe ist litterally like im already in ct when i cut i dont get symptoms and then they suside or mellow out they just gro and gro no matterhow long i hold. I dont think anyone awuite grasps just how severe my situationis how sensitized i am how traumatized i am. I might have lyme disease and if i do thst will explain why i cant taper why my symptomsaresosevere. But whatsggoingon in my mind i cant control because its not me its something else the brain flops and morbid depression i cant stay awake but i cant sleep they said something about adrenal fatigue that cant be fixed im so confused part the msin reason i haven't been able to stick to a plan is becauseof how severe my symptomsare and my deep deep waves inside of waves and the akathisia theres stuff going on that nobody or very few here understand and the doctors dont understand either its not something that can be pushed through though ive been a drug addict and alcoholic my whole life ive pushed through so many withdrawls. Theres something else going on adding too this. How do you do liauid titration or cut small enough why are my waves so severe i cant make tiny progress these pills are making me so sick i cant spend 5 years taperingoff because im already in the possition where i cant handle anymore pain and torment its impossibleto tell whats from what.

[Guest [CM...]]

Chris

Call Matt Torrington, see if he can help you .

It's worth a call. You need someone to help you.

Sending love and prayers

[[kd...]]

Hey Chris, I  live in California..have you been to Tarzana Treatment Center...after your detox you can be put in there residential program for up to a year...they can really help you with all the issues...Also one of the counselors is a good friend of mine..

He will help you ❤ ..call me if you're interested XXX-XXX-XXXX...I hate to know you're in such pain..

Diane

 

Edit: personal information removed

[[Ja...]]

I was told by my doc regarding my fear of Akathesia ( haven't started a taped yet)

Would be:

Namenda ( Alzheimer's drug)

Lamictal counters glutamate overdrive

Ketamine !!!

This scared me but my doc said it can reset neurotransmitters

Either call matt Torrington or Richard Mesteyer who is a psychiatrist in Louisiana.

He does natural NAD treatment. Not covered but I talked to several ppl who felt NAD saved their life. Or Kenn Starr in California who is doing the same thing.

The Akathesia is hell and I describe it like acid and Meth at once

There was a woman online who took abilify for several days and it reset something. Xyprexa too:?

There are options u just need a doc on your side.

This is what I noticed; I was burning and in a bad wave. Like saying to myself I can't do this I can't do this.. I called my mentor from a recovery mtg. At the end of the 25 min mtg my sxs improved dramatically. The mind is so powerful. It was and does feel my sxs. When u are in panic u need someone there 24/7 to care for u, literally be there all the time soothing and calming. I don't know that more drugs can help but just letting u know the ones my doc mentioned above. I don't know how it interacts w the other stuff you are on.

[[Hi...]]

Thank you i dont have the money to see these people and tarzana is the place that started all this i was just there again 3 weeks ago and they were laughing at me telling me im not in withdrawl and saying it was all in my head they would not let me go to the hospital they detoxed me for 6 days and said i was better a could not walk but was in psychoses but could not lay down either they said i was in absolutely no shape to go to residential i had to leave and reinstate i told them about my thoughts to harm myself and would not let me see a psych for a week they said i could never go back i dont think people understand the severity of my kindling im still in bad bad shape i thought detox would be my only way out and it may still be but they treat benzos with disturbingly little understanding and would not give anything to help my symptoms. Im stuck. Im dso traumatized i need off and cannot handlethe symptoms im having or from detox last detox i was very close to not making it i was so fooolish for going back on but i took a chance to stop the akathisia i had to stop it somehow i tried other things but oh man and phenobarbital its probably still in my system and gettingworse asit comes out oh god please

[[an...]]

One good thing is that you can type to us. I couldn't do that the first couple of weeks. You cannot let this dependence and akathisia win. You have to find help NOW. Listen to these good people and get help. We are all in this together!

[[Ja...]]

Please just call Matt Torrington bc he can direct you to the right person

Or josh Lichtmann at refuge recovery he does detoxes too.

Please google both and call. An appt w josh is 400 dollars. I know it's a lot. Is there anyone that can take you and pay?

Or enter refuge recovery program and stay there. They deal w methadone Etc most of the ppl there were junkies.

Other options are lacensina hospital ( sp?)

Pasadena recovery center

Clearview treatment center

Kenn Starr - maybe u can do a couple of NAD txt and see if it helps without changing any of your meds? He sounds very compassionate

Try to write a go fund me page and ask your friends to donate. You can't be alone dealing w this.

[[Hi...]]

This is really  scary .an you are lucky you ar off im screwes

DBrain Damage from Benzodiazepines: The Troubling Facts, Risks, and History of Minor Tranquilizers | Psychology Today

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201011/brain-damage-benzodiazepines-the-troubling-facts-risks-and-history-minorve tried all that i will try calling but theres more to it than just getting off these pills for me another detox will probablyddestroy me. I am getting really really bad might have lyme or the benzos are just wrecking me

 

Read this

 

[[Be...]]

Praying for you, Chris.  I pray your pain and suffering go away soon. 

[[Hi...]]

Thank you i know so many people are praying for me im crying do hard right now im in so much pain the breakdown and depression are getting so bad i dont kno whst to do i cant go to the psych hospital here ibtry they dont gelp me they just give me an antidepressant and send me home tell me to go to detox i really dont see any way off these pills for me except detox but i cant handle the symptoms.....