emergency but nowhere to go and nobody to help

[[Hi...]]

Im very terrified im still on 6mg of ativan reinstatement and the e.r. will not fill my script anymore. I am on such a high dose because that is how much it took to stabilize me and i thought i was finally getting there my physical symptoms definitely leveled out. But i recently went on methadone maintenance because of my oxycodone addiction. I already know how dangerous this is and ive really screwed myself because i am goingbto die running out of benzos. Im alreasdy been through multiple detoxes over the last year and was off for six months and shit just kept getting worse. Thats why i tried to reinstate and i had and have the most horrendous wd symptoms ive ever read about from anyone. Im not talking about the hang in there it gets better and you will heal. When its so bad that you cant hang in there. I cant find a doc to taper me. I have enough pills to last one more day. Any detox that takes my county insurrance has a six to eight week waiting. List and im on way to much methadone i think but had them drop me a bit and couldnt handle it. I need help or im going to die. Please dont tell me that if im out of meds to go to th er and they will help you that is not true anymore. Only if you are in severe wd and that is only with one dose. None of the benzowize docs you post will help me because of my insurrance i feel like detox is my only saving grace but litterally there is none that can take me and they all do ct anyways with phenobarbital. Which ive done somany times im alreadyvsuch a mess. What am i supposed to do ive only been back on ativan for about a month but wd symptoms are pushing through hard. Nothing to taper. No doctor to help no treatment to go to. My insurance is obamacare and i am broke sick scared tired in pain and experiencing extreme terror. Plus the methadone now too. I dont need to hear how i screwed. Myself please only what i can do. Im in southern california and even the e.r. says they cant do anything i dont feel human. I feel like im going to die. Im pretty sure i will die if im forced to ct. Again. The mental hospital here will pull me off all my meds and try to place me on antipsychotics and antiseizure

[[li...]]

Well, I don´t feel qualified to respond, but for what it´s worth:

 

I know that taking benzos and opiates has risks. Is that part of the reason why you can´t get help from a doc ?

 

Do you perhaps have a friend or family member that can help you out ? As in, get their doctor to see and treat you ? After all, the real short term issue is the availability of the pills, right ?

The generic pills should cost practically nothing.

 

Of course, what would be frowned upon on this forum is me suggesting having someone else get you the pills for the short run...

 

Didn´t Braban suggest an alcohol withdrawal center ?

 

I´m afraid I know nothing about obamacare and very little about the American healthcare system.

 

My impression is that you need to taper but without a phenobarbital detox.

[[li...]]

Perhaps it makes sense to repost this question elsewhere ?

 

Other sections may get more exposure, and it is the weekend ...

[[Ka...]]

If you get desperate maybe buy it off the street and do your own taper?

[Guest [Ti...]]

If you are able to get up to NorCal I know a Dr who will prescribe you even if you live in So Cal and he only does Benzo and Opiate withdrawal. He's out of pocket though and not cheap. PM me if you would like his number.

[[Cr...]]

I don't understand why you reinstated without having a doctor on board first....How did you not see this coming? Anyway, keep yourself safe....go to the ER every single day if you have to. Keep trying to find a doc, and if you get really desperate, use alcohol or find it on the street. Sorry bro....there really are no other answers until you can get to a doctor. Also, your doc doesn't necessarily have to be benzo-wise per se....Shop around, tell them your issue and find one that will at least agree to help with SOME kind of taper, you can worry about finding a doc to do your long taper later. Just need to get someone to help in the meantime, even if that just buys you a couple weeks or months. Good luck.

[[Hi...]]

Thanks cp ya it was stupid but the er is the one that reinome and then my doc wouldn't jump on board so i got stuck. I do now however have an appointment with a doc on june 2 that wants to help me. And 8 days of ativan left. Soo. Will fig something out. Also got on methadone to kick my oxy habit. I am doing it through a doc but they had me on so much done it was making me really sick. So been tapering down off that very slowly and my head is startingbto clear a little i was in bad bad shape for a couple weeks brother. On deaths door. Still having tolerance and interdose from the ativan. But am staying consistant with all my meds and this is helping. Having some sorta weird enexpected completely undeserved halp windows the last couple days. Still dont know what to do about the gabapentin but my biggest problem has slways been consistancy and im finally doing that at lessr

[[Ch...]]

Glad you're doing okay, Hiphop.  You sound so much better than you were last week.

 

[[Va...]]

I'm glad to hear you're okay too, Hiphop.  You're still going to be short on Ativan before June 2.  I'm in real bad shape, too.  I've tried to c/o to Valium, but I can't get stable.  My doctor keeps telling me I'm doing well   She also tells me Valium leaves your system in 72 hours so that speaks volumes to her ignorance to these drugs.  She's making me do a rapid taper.  I'm trying to accept I'm looking at long term suffering, too :'(

[[ar...]]

Glad to see you're doing better hiphop.  You sound a lot better and not so tormented like the last few weeks.  I hope the new doctor works out for you man.  Make sure you print out the Ashton manual and bring it in with you.

[[Cr...]]

Stick with it then man....hope you find the help you need....Just my 2 cents, but I would taper the gabapentin while you are still on the benzos....that way when you come off the benzos, you wont have the confusion of what is causing what, know what I mean?

[[Sl...]]

Stick with it then man....hope you find the help you need....Just my 2 cents, but I would taper the gabapentin while you are still on the benzos....that way when you come off the benzos, you wont have the confusion of what is causing what, know what I mean?

 

Definitely ditch the gabapentin first.

[[Hi...]]

Ya you guys are right i gotta get down to. A healthy dose of methadone though first im on way to much and im feelin better already but still need to get down to like 30 then ill start droppin the gabba. You guys are right it dhould be a lot easier to get rid of with the ativan and especially the methadone case man the gaba taper causes massive pain ans severe depression

[[Lu...]]

Can you guys explain why you suggest getting off the gabapentin first. From my reading, getting off gabapentin is like getting off benzos- a slow taper. This is definitely in the territory of giving medical advice that may do much harm....

Hiphop- I told you the ER wouldn't keep giving you prescriptions forever. You could try a different ER, go to the street, or do a quick mail order, I guess. I don't know anything about mail order or the street.

Or try to find another doctor, although they risk getting in trouble with the DEA. It's very strict where I live. I am facing the same problem here, potentially.

If I were you, I'd do anything to stay away from inpatient. You know, like I do, what they do there. They could ruin the rest of your life.

You need to stabilize, in my opinion, and have a supplier for all that you are taking. Then you can make decisions about what to taper first.

So, evaluate all the options for getting all the drugs you are on. If you have a car, get around and hopefully find a doctor or supplier. If you have money, do mail order for the benzos along with finding local suppliers. If you can handle it yourself, stabilize and taper.

 

[[Hi...]]

Well i have a doc for the methadone and gabapentin. So thats not a problem. The problem is finding a doctor that. Will work with me on the ativan. I finally have an apointment for june 2 with a doc that helps people get off benzos with my insurrance. There is the issue of coming up withva five day fill untill then but i will hopefully be able to figure something out. Right now im trying to get down on dose of the methadone before it wrecks my soul and then i am still suffering benzo wd and some symptoms and some very rough waves while still taking the ativan. Also cant get an erection on all these pills and its pissing me off cuz i love my gf so much shes been my rock through all this and i cant get rock for her get it? Haha. My mind and body are crazy! I hope this doc can help me

[[dr...]]

Some are using gaba to get off the Benzos (me for one) and some recommend using benzos to get off the Gaba? Can both of these be the right thing under different conditions? Just curious.

 

Hip I know you're in pain. This may sound dumb but I just think you should ask yourself if it's possible that the high benzo dose is required to avoid it. Anxiety is overwhelming and very convincing of anything you want. I'm just another voice out there who has diff insurance and lives elsewhere. I went inpatient and it was a fast reduction, no Pheno. I'm at 20% of my historic dosage, and I am tapering and do not really feel worse than when I was in the grip. Hang in there and keep an open mind.

Strength, you'll make it through

DD

[[Hi...]]

I had to reunstate not cuz bad anxiety but because of severe crippling physical and emotional insufferable torment. Not everyone's withdrawl is as bad or hard as anyon elses and after six months no benzo i was in so much physical and mental anguish torment i had to reinstate or end my life. I didnt want to but i had to make the akathesia stop i was on the thread of death. And now on another evil med methadone as well. Im sweating like crazy dont know if its cuz i dropped 5 mg or cuz im on it but im doin a lot better its just now i finally found a doc that will taper me hopefully slowly and i gana have a five day window with no meds. I hate being on this much medication but i need help comin off slowly. No more cts for me my body and mind cannot handle them

[[be...]]

What does your methadone doc say? there's two dudes in my housing program that go to the clinic every morning and I know both of them get Klonapin from the clinic. Don't they piss test you and kick u off if you don't have a Rx for Ativan? That's how my old roommate got his Rx. Tested dirty at the clinic and they gave him a script so he wouldn't get kicked off clinic.

[[dr...]]

I had to reunstate not cuz bad anxiety but because of severe crippling physical and emotional insufferable torment. Not everyone's withdrawl is as bad or hard as anyon elses and after six months no benzo i was in so much physical and mental anguish torment i had to reinstate or end my life. I didnt want to but i had to make the akathesia stop i was on the thread of death. And now on another evil med methadone as well. Im sweating like crazy dont know if its cuz i dropped 5 mg or cuz im on it but im doin a lot better its just now i finally found a doc that will taper me hopefully slowly and i gana have a five day window with no meds. I hate being on this much medication but i need help comin off slowly. No more cts for me my body and mind cannot handle them

 

I hear you. The poly drug thing isn't addition of one thing to another, it's more multiplication by each. I think it's squaring and cubing what you're in.

[[Hi...]]

Firstly i do have scripts for ativan i just dont have a reg doc yet. Im getting the scripts from the er ny dr appointment isnt till june 2. But what do you mean by cubed and squared? They dropped me 5 mg on the methadone and felt better for three days and now im feeling oversedated and sick again. That doesn't make sense. I was really really like overdosing and i told the doc so they dropped me 5mg an i instantly felt better and now i feel oversedated again. Also **** myself with this ativan reinstatement it saved my life mut my waves are just as painful and scary on the ativan just different. If i slow taper could it fix my screwed up cold turkeys from the past? I know its too late ive been back on the. Ativan for too long and too high a dose to stop or do a short taper cux kindling. ... But can any good come from this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit: profanity

[[ar...]]

Well i have a doc for the methadone and gabapentin. So thats not a problem. The problem is finding a doctor that. Will work with me on the ativan. I finally have an apointment for june 2 with a doc that helps people get off benzos with my insurrance. There is the issue of coming up withva five day fill untill then but i will hopefully be able to figure something out. Right now im trying to get down on dose of the methadone before it wrecks my soul and then i am still suffering benzo wd and some symptoms and some very rough waves while still taking the ativan. Also cant get an erection on all these pills and its pissing me off cuz i love my gf so much shes been my rock through all this and i cant get rock for her get it? Haha. My mind and body are crazy! I hope this doc can help me

 

Hey hip I know what you mean about the boner.  I couldn't get it up because of benzo w/d.  When I got stable and started tapering that fixed it.  I think it was because my blood pressure was high when I c/t for a couple days.

[[ar...]]

Hip,

 

Hopefully the doc can get you stable.  Are you going to ask for a crossover to Valium or will you try to taper from the Ativan?

[[dr...]]

Firstly i do have scripts for ativan i just dont have a reg doc yet. Im getting the scripts from the er ny dr appointment isnt till june 2. But what do you mean by cubed and squared? They dropped me 5 mg on the methadone and felt better for three days and now im feeling oversedated and sick again. That doesn't make sense. I was really really like overdosing and i told the doc so they dropped me 5mg an i instantly felt better and now i feel oversedated again. Also fucked myself with this ativan reinstatement it saved my life mut my waves are just as painful and scary on the ativan just different. If i slow taper could it fix my screwed up cold turkeys from the past? I know its too late ive been back on the. Ativan for too long and too high a dose to stop or do a short taper cux kindling. ... But can any good come from this?

 

By cubed I mean that poly drugging makes things exponentially more confusing, painful and difficult to deal with effectively.

I think you got to give your mind a break from trying to handle the idea of tapering multi drugs at one time (if that's what youre doing). I got bollocksed up from longtime Ativan, prozac, remeron, and weed basically and I knew I couldn't think effectively about it. I went inpatient and the changes did begin under Dr care. They weren't going to let me die. I never could have made those changes without it. I wouldve gone nuts considering a years long taper.

I just think you got so many things going on you need professional care however you can swing it. 

[[Hi...]]

I know I need professional career and they say ya you need to get off this or go on that. I am so kindled another withdrawal will kill me but I'm already suffering from severe benzo wd symptoms I mean debilitating but I'm on benzo... What do I do. They say don't taper till your stable but I will not get stable and what do I get off first? I may not have a choice my Dr may want to do a rapid taper in which I have no other option. But I've been feeling like the gabapentin has been causing or making a lot of this stuff worse for a long time the methadone is new but makes me feel good sometimes and helps with the akathisia which was the one symptom that I already have decided has to stay at a reasonable level or I will end it. Cannot my feet are burning and crazy fear twisted sweating depression altered terror

[[dr...]]

I know I need professional career and they say ya you need to get off this or go on that. I am so kindled another withdrawal will kill me but I'm already suffering from severe benzo wd symptoms I mean debilitating but I'm on benzo... What do I do. They say don't taper till your stable but I will not get stable and what do I get off first? I may not have a choice my Dr may want to do a rapid taper in which I have no other option. But I've been feeling like the gabapentin has been causing or making a lot of this stuff worse for a long time the methadone is new but makes me feel good sometimes and helps with the akathisia which was the one symptom that I already have decided has to stay at a reasonable level or I will end it. Cannot my feet are burning and crazy fear twisted sweating depression altered terror

 

I just don't think its a good idea to use opiates to get off Gabap. (Using a shotgun to kill an ant?) Like I said before you're right in the firestorm. You need to get an empathetic pro to give you advice on how and in what order to detox. Youre not in shape to make those calls yourself IMO. Talk to your Dr though, instead of trying to predict what he will say. Tell him you can't function, and you got 3 serious meds to try and taper off of. You won't be this desperate if you are not on them, will you be? Hang in there.

Strength

DD