Stillbelieving Healed

[[Fl...]]

Much Joy for you!

Thank you for sharing with us.

[[ca...]]

This is just what I needed this morning...I was wondering if I will ever feel any normalcy again....

 

Thank you for coming back and sharing this wonderful story. It gives me hope.

 

Love and continued healing,

Causing

[[Ja...]]

I couldn't be any more happy for you! You are the voice of hope. So glad you are back to living a normal life. You deserve it. 

[[dr...]]

Kindleing to keep my fire of hope going.

[[ph...]]

Wow: Congrats on your healing!! This is really really good post. What great detail, description, advice, and heart. Good luck on your next healed journey of life!

[[63...]]

Brilliant update and perfect timing! These updates are so encouraging...thank you from the bottom of my heart!

[[li...]]

Hi

Thanks for such a great story.

It was so good to read this and I wish you a very happy life.

Thank you for sharing !

Lib 

[[St...]]

Hello all, I hadn't been back since I wrote my last update at my 4 year anniversary.  I was talking with Pattylu and felt I wanted to come and hopefully give you in need, some hope to your healing.

 

I am now close to 4 years and 4 months off.  Yes I am still 100% healed.  I haven't had any sxs since I was here 4 months ago.  I have been living a very full normal life, fuller than in 20 years and no flare ups have been triggered.  I know I said 4 months ago that I was 100% healed and I assumed I was, but once again I have seen improvement. My thinking is still improving, my reasoning/decision making have improved. My CNS is stronger, especially noticed when I'm tired - I just feel so normal, better than normal - I'm calm and strong.

 

I had been told back in 2014 I needed cataract surgery to my left eye. Well when the dr mentioned this I could hardly discuss it with him and said I wasn't ready.  Over the next year I healed more from my benzo recovery and my fear settled down.  I went back and booked my operation date for Oct 2015.  Well people I'm telling you I had my cataract surgery without any sedation.  After going thru c/t w/d as my comparison point, nothing compares to that and is tolerable.  Leading up to my surgery date I kept waiting for the anxiety and fear to set in the week before, it never did. I thought the day before I would be a wreck, nope I even went out to lunch with a friend and no jitters. I figured that evening watching tv the time would come forth and really bite me, nope. I went to bed figuring I would be waking during the night in a heart pounding, panic attack, nope I slept thru the night just fine.  Ok surely the fear was going to strike as we drove to the hospital a half hour away, nope.  Even sitting in the waiting room I figured, nope - the fear, anxiety didn't come on crazy strong. Even after I was called back to prep and dress for surgery I was just calm.  This was soooo new to me, I couldn't believe how I was handling everything.  I talked with the anesthesiologist and had a backup plan that if when I got into the OR if I needed something then we would go with propranolol. I felt I was in control for I had made sure that benzodiazepines were on my drug allergy list.  I had talked with my dr and with the anesthesiologist, I made sure everyone knew that I could not be administered that poison.  I was in control what was going to be given to me, if there was a need. Then there wasn't a need. I said I wanted to try it medication free and I did other than numbing eye drops.  I would say to the dr "is this the worst it gets?"  Each time the answer was “yes”, and I compared it with the months, years of sxs that I had gotten thru and I’d say  ”this is nothing, I can handle it”. And I did.  After going thru benzo w/d and recovery you will have a totally different outlook at what is really hard and stressful in life. After surviving for months and years using coping skills and gaining your health and life back, your new foundation on life is solid.

 

It’s true people, I know where you are today – I was there one day myself, at each stage you are living I lived it too. I had the doubts that I would not heal, I had the doubts that there would be permanent damage – but doubts aren’t reality, they are just negative thoughts. Benzos don’t cause permanent damage, your GABA will upregulate and your CNS will stop misfiring, your blood sugar will stabilize.

 

I recently had my yearly physical and my blood labs were better than my DO had ever seen in yearssss!!! My levels clear across the board were better than normal. She said whatever you are doing is showing, keep it up!!!!  What I am doing is eating clean, low carbs good proteins and fats, mild exercise - drinking hot water with organic lemon juice and stevia is how I start my day. I started that a year ago due to my liver levels were off a bit. The lemon juice is an excellent liver cleanser, along with helping with digestion. I follow that with drinking a probiotic Cocokefir. I set my day up with a good strong foundation. I eat clean, drink clean, worship/pray, walk, enjoy family, friends, interests. Plus I do EFT tapping if any stress comes along.

 

I was a long timer on meds, almost 16 years – of which most of that time I was sick to varying degrees. I lost out on a lot of life, was on the sidelines looking in or even to the point of being so ill I didn’t even try to look in on life. Now I am starting a new career, I’m studying, planning, traveling for training.  A year ago I would have never felt I could do such a thing, just volunteering was a goal. Now I volunteer on a regular basis, and have started these next steps.

 

You will come back out of benzo world, you will get your feet back under you firmly, you will be able to take a look around you and see a life you can be fully part of. You will be like so many before us and walk away from BB and live benzo free days, free from benzo sxs, thoughts, and conversations.  You will heal physically and emotionally in time, a full healing.

 

This is the first time that I can remember in not being glad a year has come to end, and praying, hoping that the next year will bring the healing, inner peace that I was so desiring.  I am in such a good, balanced state of health and Joy. 2015 has been a great year of healing, growth, and Joy. I never could have imagined my life getting to this point, but it has. I know 2016 is full of wonderful days and months ahead for me. I'm ready to take my life as it comes, calm, strong, positively ready!!!

 

I’m stillbelieving healing will fully happen for us all. Believe it, Breathe it, Say it out loud, Feel it!!!! It will happen to you too - don't let any negativity say otherwise.

 

stillbelieving aka Joy

 

[[Ar...]]

Thank you for coming back to post.  My heart wants to feel the joy that I can hear in your words.  Wishing you peace, joy and love. 

[[so...]]

Oh my God, Joy!  I am crying like a baby over your last post!  Bless you for sharing your new life with us.  Pattylu has been an angel sent by God to me.  I've tweaked my eating to be hypoglycemic and it's helping me.  I love you, Joy!  Thank you!

 

Love, Sofa

[[DP...]]

Hello all, I hadn't been back since I wrote my last update at my 4 year anniversary.  I was talking with Pattylu and felt I wanted to come and hopefully give you in need, some hope to your healing.

 

I am now close to 4 years and 4 months off.  Yes I am still 100% healed.  I haven't had any sxs since I was here 4 months ago.  I have been living a very full normal life, fuller than in 20 years and no flare ups have been triggered.  I know I said 4 months ago that I was 100% healed and I assumed I was, but once again I have seen improvement. My thinking is still improving, my reasoning/decision making have improved. My CNS is stronger, especially noticed when I'm tired - I just feel so normal, better than normal - I'm calm and strong.

 

I had been told back in 2014 I needed cataract surgery to my left eye. Well when the dr mentioned this I could hardly discuss it with him and said I wasn't ready.  Over the next year I healed more from my benzo recovery and my fear settled down.  I went back and booked my operation date for Oct 2015.  Well people I'm telling you I had my cataract surgery without any sedation.  After going thru c/t w/d as my comparison point, nothing compares to that and is tolerable.  Leading up to my surgery date I kept waiting for the anxiety and fear to set in the week before, it never did. I thought the day before I would be a wreck, nope I even went out to lunch with a friend and no jitters. I figured that evening watching tv the time would come forth and really bite me, nope. I went to bed figuring I would be waking during the night in a heart pounding, panic attack, nope I slept thru the night just fine.  Ok surely the fear was going to strike as we drove to the hospital a half hour away, nope.  Even sitting in the waiting room I figured, nope - the fear, anxiety didn't come on crazy strong. Even after I was called back to prep and dress for surgery I was just calm.  This was soooo new to me, I couldn't believe how I was handling everything.  I talked with the anesthesiologist and had a backup plan that if when I got into the OR if I needed something then we would go with propranolol. I felt I was in control for I had made sure that benzodiazepines were on my drug allergy list.  I had talked with my dr and with the anesthesiologist, I made sure everyone knew that I could not be administered that poison.  I was in control what was going to be given to me, if there was a need. Then there wasn't a need. I said I wanted to try it medication free and I did other than numbing eye drops.  I would say to the dr "is this the worst it gets?"  Each time the answer was “yes”, and I compared it with the months, years of sxs that I had gotten thru and I’d say  ”this is nothing, I can handle it”. And I did.  After going thru benzo w/d and recovery you will have a totally different outlook at what is really hard and stressful in life. After surviving for months and years using coping skills and gaining your health and life back, your new foundation on life is solid.

 

It’s true people, I know where you are today – I was there one day myself, at each stage you are living I lived it too. I had the doubts that I would not heal, I had the doubts that there would be permanent damage – but doubts aren’t reality, they are just negative thoughts. Benzos don’t cause permanent damage, your GABA will upregulate and your CNS will stop misfiring, your blood sugar will stabilize.

 

I recently had my yearly physical and my blood labs were better than my DO had ever seen in yearssss!!! My levels clear across the board were better than normal. She said whatever you are doing is showing, keep it up!!!!  What I am doing is eating clean, low carbs good proteins and fats, mild exercise - drinking hot water with organic lemon juice and stevia is how I start my day. I started that a year ago due to my liver levels were off a bit. The lemon juice is an excellent liver cleanser, along with helping with digestion. I follow that with drinking a probiotic Cocokefir. I set my day up with a good strong foundation. I eat clean, drink clean, worship/pray, walk, enjoy family, friends, interests. Plus I do EFT tapping if any stress comes along.

 

I was a long timer on meds, almost 16 years – of which most of that time I was sick to varying degrees. I lost out on a lot of life, was on the sidelines looking in or even to the point of being so ill I didn’t even try to look in on life. Now I am starting a new career, I’m studying, planning, traveling for training.  A year ago I would have never felt I could do such a thing, just volunteering was a goal. Now I volunteer on a regular basis, and have started these next steps.

 

You will come back out of benzo world, you will get your feet back under you firmly, you will be able to take a look around you and see a life you can be fully part of. You will be like so many before us and walk away from BB and live benzo free days, free from benzo sxs, thoughts, and conversations.  You will heal physically and emotionally in time, a full healing.

 

This is the first time that I can remember in not being glad a year has come to end, and praying, hoping that the next year will bring the healing, inner peace that I was so desiring.  I am in such a good, balanced state of health and Joy. 2015 has been a great year of healing, growth, and Joy. I never could have imagined my life getting to this point, but it has. I know 2016 is full of wonderful days and months ahead for me. I'm ready to take my life as it comes, calm, strong, positively ready!!!

 

I’m stillbelieving healing will fully happen for us all. Believe it, Breathe it, Say it out loud, Feel it!!!! It will happen to you too - don't let any negativity say otherwise.

 

stillbelieving aka Joy

 

Wow stillbelieving ........... I really needed to read this tonight so thank you so much.............. I'm 3.5 years out = 41 months off and feel this is now the new me forever................ I mourn everyday for the great person who I use to be............... I hope someday to write a success story like yours...

 

Happy New Year 💯

[[an...]]

Congrats!  Thanks for giving hope to those early in the journey. 

I could relate to so much in your story.

Enjoy you new and well deserved life.

[[an...]]

Congrats.  What an amazing story.  Enjoy and thanks for the hope.

[[Sh...]]

Amazing!  I'm so happy for you.

[[pa...]]

I've walked by "s" side for over two years, we are truly buddies forever.  I can attest to everything she has posted from the beginning of this thread.

 

AND,  I know, just like I said to "s" from our first PM, that she would become exactly where she has.  You WILL also.  Why?

Because I was there also, I know it and did it and I know what transpires.

 

Eat very balanced and healthy... Your CNS is in the drivers seat healing it self, you are the passenger right now.  But, as the passenger, you need to help that driver....  Eating correctly, finding coping skills in small steps to help you.... staying close to your bbs on BB, posting and supporting... Stay focused as best as you are able to, that it will happen for all of you; it truly does!

 

Hugs to my dear "s"... she is such a mentor...

 

Love you all, Pattylu

[[Fi...]]

Pattilu--this is great advice.  I like the part about the CNS being in the driver's seat. That's how I thought of it too.  Each day I'd just get my directives on the subject of what I was up to and what I wasn't from my brain, not from my calendar  to to-do list!

[[Ex...]]

Hello all, I hadn't been back since I wrote my last update at my 4 year anniversary.  I was talking with Pattylu and felt I wanted to come and hopefully give you in need, some hope to your healing.

 

I am now close to 4 years and 4 months off.  Yes I am still 100% healed.  I haven't had any sxs since I was here 4 months ago.  I have been living a very full normal life, fuller than in 20 years and no flare ups have been triggered.  I know I said 4 months ago that I was 100% healed and I assumed I was, but once again I have seen improvement. My thinking is still improving, my reasoning/decision making have improved. My CNS is stronger, especially noticed when I'm tired - I just feel so normal, better than normal - I'm calm and strong.

 

I had been told back in 2014 I needed cataract surgery to my left eye. Well when the dr mentioned this I could hardly discuss it with him and said I wasn't ready.  Over the next year I healed more from my benzo recovery and my fear settled down.  I went back and booked my operation date for Oct 2015.  Well people I'm telling you I had my cataract surgery without any sedation.  After going thru c/t w/d as my comparison point, nothing compares to that and is tolerable.  Leading up to my surgery date I kept waiting for the anxiety and fear to set in the week before, it never did. I thought the day before I would be a wreck, nope I even went out to lunch with a friend and no jitters. I figured that evening watching tv the time would come forth and really bite me, nope. I went to bed figuring I would be waking during the night in a heart pounding, panic attack, nope I slept thru the night just fine.  Ok surely the fear was going to strike as we drove to the hospital a half hour away, nope.  Even sitting in the waiting room I figured, nope - the fear, anxiety didn't come on crazy strong. Even after I was called back to prep and dress for surgery I was just calm.  This was soooo new to me, I couldn't believe how I was handling everything.  I talked with the anesthesiologist and had a backup plan that if when I got into the OR if I needed something then we would go with propranolol. I felt I was in control for I had made sure that benzodiazepines were on my drug allergy list.  I had talked with my dr and with the anesthesiologist, I made sure everyone knew that I could not be administered that poison.  I was in control what was going to be given to me, if there was a need. Then there wasn't a need. I said I wanted to try it medication free and I did other than numbing eye drops.  I would say to the dr "is this the worst it gets?"  Each time the answer was “yes”, and I compared it with the months, years of sxs that I had gotten thru and I’d say  ”this is nothing, I can handle it”. And I did.  After going thru benzo w/d and recovery you will have a totally different outlook at what is really hard and stressful in life. After surviving for months and years using coping skills and gaining your health and life back, your new foundation on life is solid.

 

It’s true people, I know where you are today – I was there one day myself, at each stage you are living I lived it too. I had the doubts that I would not heal, I had the doubts that there would be permanent damage – but doubts aren’t reality, they are just negative thoughts. Benzos don’t cause permanent damage, your GABA will upregulate and your CNS will stop misfiring, your blood sugar will stabilize.

 

I recently had my yearly physical and my blood labs were better than my DO had ever seen in yearssss!!! My levels clear across the board were better than normal. She said whatever you are doing is showing, keep it up!!!!  What I am doing is eating clean, low carbs good proteins and fats, mild exercise - drinking hot water with organic lemon juice and stevia is how I start my day. I started that a year ago due to my liver levels were off a bit. The lemon juice is an excellent liver cleanser, along with helping with digestion. I follow that with drinking a probiotic Cocokefir. I set my day up with a good strong foundation. I eat clean, drink clean, worship/pray, walk, enjoy family, friends, interests. Plus I do EFT tapping if any stress comes along.

 

I was a long timer on meds, almost 16 years – of which most of that time I was sick to varying degrees. I lost out on a lot of life, was on the sidelines looking in or even to the point of being so ill I didn’t even try to look in on life. Now I am starting a new career, I’m studying, planning, traveling for training.  A year ago I would have never felt I could do such a thing, just volunteering was a goal. Now I volunteer on a regular basis, and have started these next steps.

 

You will come back out of benzo world, you will get your feet back under you firmly, you will be able to take a look around you and see a life you can be fully part of. You will be like so many before us and walk away from BB and live benzo free days, free from benzo sxs, thoughts, and conversations.  You will heal physically and emotionally in time, a full healing.

 

This is the first time that I can remember in not being glad a year has come to end, and praying, hoping that the next year will bring the healing, inner peace that I was so desiring.  I am in such a good, balanced state of health and Joy. 2015 has been a great year of healing, growth, and Joy. I never could have imagined my life getting to this point, but it has. I know 2016 is full of wonderful days and months ahead for me. I'm ready to take my life as it comes, calm, strong, positively ready!!!

 

I’m stillbelieving healing will fully happen for us all. Believe it, Breathe it, Say it out loud, Feel it!!!! It will happen to you too - don't let any negativity say otherwise.

 

stillbelieving aka Joy

 

 

You wrote in a post and in your info that you have been benzo free since August 30, 2011.

 

On August 31, 2015, 4 years after your last benzo use, you wrote that you were 100% cured.

 

On January 13, 2012 you started taking the drug Lyrica and you were Lyrica free since July 21, 2016.

 

Since your discontinuation of Lyrica on July 21, 2016, we know nothing about your process.

 

Have you gone through protracted withdrawal again since July 21, 2016 ?

 

Can you give an update ?

 

Thanks