Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[Iw...]]

Mascone. Oh no, the tempting desserts! Sorry about the set back and I hope that its very minor and short.  have the waves gotten further apart, less intense and shorter in duration?

 

[[ve...]]

Happy freaking New Year!

 

:smitten:

 

Vertigo

[[Iw...]]

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Vertigo! 

[[ve...]]

Thanks wannabfree. Condolences on your kitty.  Good advice to be cautious with the spirits. And thanks for sharing about your mother. You did the right thing and im glad you could help her and have quality time. Im here with my dad to start the new year. A few weeks ago, we had many doubts about him making it to the end of 2013 but he's a fighter and managed a remission and turn around for now. I gave the caregiver the night off last night. I had  3 glasses of wine and have a slight hangover at the moment (4AM) Ive got to drive 2 hours to Disneyland with my family in an hour. Better try to catch another hour of sleep. Hope the motrin kicks in soon .. Actually I feel ok. The water and a little food helped the blood sugar and Ill be fine.

 

Happy New Year,

 

Vertigo

[[ma...]]

Mascone. Oh no, the tempting desserts! Sorry about the set back and I hope that its very minor and short.  have the waves gotten further apart, less intense and shorter in duration?

 

Thanx....I'm OK...just a little more wobbly than the past few weeks.

Am a little shy to say things are better...they are,but it seems every time I think the wall has been reached,climbed and concurred, I get another wave.

There was a poster a while ago that used to have a chart and rate,1-10 each and every day,and each and every aspect of his/her condition.Way to involved for me! Suffice to say,over the past year and a bit since I jumped,the first  3-4 months I was about an 8/10.

The next 2 months,a solid 5......summer about a 6.5. Fall took a bit of a dive,and there were many days I was a 3.Since then a gradual climb to about a 7.5.....So...it's been a bumpy road!....and one that surprises at every turn.

Since jumping (October 2012) at the beginning most symptoms were of the "head" variety....with a little anxiety tossed in.

Since then more a mix of fog and physical sx. Some days are better than others,but they are not in the majority.

Exercise still hard to come by for various reasons...motivation for it harder to come by now that we are under a few feet of snow....for the next 3-4 months.SO I am good and fat....surely not helping much! I was put on a beta blocker in October this year,and it has helped a lot,but I know they are notorious for weight gain too.

Am I better than I was a year..2  3 years back?...yes....definitely.....but it's not reliable,very gradient,and constantly changing.

Such is this new life.

Happy New year y'all.

M

[[ba...]]

How long did everyone's acute last.  I'm SUPER bad right now...

[[bo...]]

The post by ginia is over three years old. I bet she's doing better by now.

[[ve...]]

Hope all post benzo buddies have a great weekend and much healing in 2014.

 

best,

 

Vertigo

[[gi...]]

How long did everyone's acute last.  I'm SUPER bad right now...

 

Mine lasted about 18 months.

 

[[ba...]]

Thanks ginger.  I need to know the truth. 

 

[[ci...]]

babyrex, Not sure how to delineate acute but months one and two were bad.  Month three was decent, month four was torture except the last week of it now which has been good except for a panic attack or two.  We are all different so you may be much better faster!!! Don't assume you will take as long as everyone just know that it is normal if you do.

[[ba...]]

Cirerecrem,

 

Thank you.  I need to be reminded that some of us experience brutal acute phases, but they eventually get better.  I'm sure I'll be posting this same question over and over.... 

 

[[ci...]]

Babyrex - that is one of the crazy aspects of this journey.  We can read about thousands of people that have had the exact same experience, same sxs, same acute flare-ups, etc. and yet we feel all alone, that we are not healing, or that somehow we are different than all the others.  Healing does happen, and things improve, but the benzo switch somehow convinces us that we are stuck in the Hell. 

[[gi...]]

My 5th anniversary is today. 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=98544.msg1264057#msg1264057

[[Wi...]]

Babyrex - that is one of the crazy aspects of this journey.  We can read about thousands of people that have had the exact same experience, same sxs, same acute flare-ups, etc. and yet we feel all alone, that we are not healing, or that somehow we are different than all the others.  Healing does happen, and things improve, but the benzo switch somehow convinces us that we are stuck in the Hell.

It continues to boggle my mind how after spending so much time reading others experience that we share, it seems to always come back to feeling as tho we are alone. And after understanding why everything is happening over and over, that just leaves our brains when it gets bad, to be replaced by an unfillable need for reasurrance of what and why this is happening.  This is an amazingly unkind process.

 

WWWI

[[pr...]]

This is an amazingly unkind process.

 

it is...

this unkind process needs to be remedied by a full on and complete healing!

 

[[Ma...]]

Hey Guys! Happy New Year to us!! Slammed under a nasty wave at almost 9 months. Been going on a week now. Feels like it's getting better but still feels like I may be another few weeks or more from normal..... Was doing really rather well, within reason, then bam so.... just wondering how long these things generally last, if there is a general rule. At least today I left the house! Not for long mind you and it wiped me right out. Nothing like since over a year ago. Not really worried, cause there's nothing I can do but ride it out, still, it's not easy.... any input would be appreciated. I can handle it as it is, only just barely, but I sure don't want to do anything to make it angry

Thanks all,

m

[[ma...]]

Hi Marina

I hit a wall at about 9 months too...that timing seems to be pretty common.

But,as I am sure you know by now, there are no rules! I have had little waves last a day,others,several weeks.

At times I will wake up noticing a little symptom,(for me usually tinnitus) and think, OK...here we go again....only to forget about it,and

more times than not,that's the end of it. I think I have developed a bit of a theory about that actually.....If I dwell,in my mind,about the little symptom,it grows.And I have said this before,tho this group is terrific,often I think that too much time spent searching and posting here can be detrimental.My only advice in this department is to try and just do something...anything.Get out as much as U can....even just down to the next corner.

As far as making it angry,I think U are talking about triggers?

The list is endless,and I continue to discover new ones,most recenty soy,and a bit of a nasty reaction to some hidden booze in foods over the holidays.In the foods department,just keep your diet as boring as possible.Don't "test" yourself either.I love Asian foods,but I don't think I will go that route for a couple years yet...all the soy!

Everyone has their own,sometimes extensive,list of things to avoid.A quick search here will lead you to the obvious ones. The rest you will discover if you haven't already.I don't know of a time-line to stay away from these things...probably different for everyone...but I'm sticking with 2 years before I venture out into the entire world of eating.

Do some stretching,and get out to the mailbox every day if that's as far as you can get....keep trying that.No magic bullet here...just keep moving.

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Macone! We may share your theory about symptoms, I've noticed the same thing as you and have a rule about talking about them ( I don't). This was pretty severe and threw me enough to ask for help and I'm glad I did. It helped, knowing its common to get hit this far out helped a lot. As for triggers, I generally believe in ignoring them too. This episode appeared to have one, that scared me, but I will be careful in the future. I can eat most anything I want, though I did recently cutout caffeine and I'm sleeping better, that is, falling asleep more easily. It's better. I don't talk about triggers either but again thank you so much for aking the time to respond. You've eased my mind and I really appreciate it.

Have a great night

m

[[ve...]]

Yes. Those waves can hit in the 2nd year out and be a little scary if one isnt aware that it may happen. The good news is that for the majority, its usually a temporary setback, sometimes after one pushed oneself a little harder than usual or perhaps after some new challenges or extraordinary stress. Or it might not be the result of anything out of the ordinary (stress wise) but this too shall pass.

[[Ma...]]

THanks Verti, I'm at 10 months today and it feels like, after the last couple of weeks, I deserve a bit of a celebration. I'm doing better, getting back to life, have work tomorrow, nothing I can do about it but be grateful it wasn't last week, I don't know if I would have been able to do it. Still not done with the wave entirely but will be by next week, or the next two at the most, so all in all, not that bad. I did get hit really badly last time at 18 or so months, which is what led me to reinstate. At least I know that will never happen again. Have a great day everyone and thanks again!!

m

[[Iw...]]

Is it ever hard for you to think? Mostly, making  comments on here is extremely difficult. . I'll stare and try to think of the words but find I'm unable to gather them or I'll have the words but am unable to put them into words. I'm better in person but writing my thoughts is so difficult. It can take hours. This improves for a couple of hours, not much  and my mind tires very easily. Feel like I'm in a spaced out all the time and like I'm in a dream. Memories also seem like dreams.

My head is very congested feeling, I'm wondering if that comes with it and if its inflammation.

 

On the positive side. The anxiety has subsided mostly. It's like a hum. The nervousness is low too as is the inner vibrations. The outer vibrations and trembling are gone. Depression is less often and less when its present.

This has been hard to write and took way to long.

 

Hope everyone is feeling well. 

[[pr...]]

Is it ever hard for you to think? Mostly, making  comments on here is extremely difficult. . I'll stare and try to think of the words but find I'm unable to gather them or I'll have the words but am unable to put them into words. I'm better in person but writing my thoughts is so difficult. It can take hours. This improves for a couple of hours, not much  and my mind tires very easily. Feel like I'm in a spaced out all the time and like I'm in a dream. Memories also seem like dreams.

My head is very congested feeling, I'm wondering if that comes with it and if its inflammation.

 

On the positive side. The anxiety has subsided mostly. It's like a hum. The nervousness is low too as is the inner vibrations. The outer vibrations and trembling are gone. Depression is less often and less when its present.

This has been hard to write and took way to long.

 

Hope everyone is feeling well. 

 

but this is a really good post! so you did very well typing your thoughts out. i get like this too. that's good that

the outer vibration and trembling is now gone. i try to focus on the symptoms that are now gone. hard to do though.

[[gi...]]

Is it ever hard for you to think? Mostly, making  comments on here is extremely difficult. . I'll stare and try to think of the words but find I'm unable to gather them or I'll have the words but am unable to put them into words. I'm better in person but writing my thoughts is so difficult. It can take hours. This improves for a couple of hours, not much  and my mind tires very easily. Feel like I'm in a spaced out all the time and like I'm in a dream. Memories also seem like dreams.

My head is very congested feeling, I'm wondering if that comes with it and if its inflammation.

 

On the positive side. The anxiety has subsided mostly. It's like a hum. The nervousness is low too as is the inner vibrations. The outer vibrations and trembling are gone. Depression is less often and less when its present.

This has been hard to write and took way to long.

 

Hope everyone is feeling well. 

 

You just described my brain and my biggest cognitive issue.  My writing (and thinking about writing) has improved, but I used to be quick about it. Now it takes me forever to put words on paper. How are you at spelling?  I'm terrible! If it wasn't for spell check, I'd look like an imbecile (which is what I am, but no one knows b/c of spellcheck!). Speaking - holding a conversation in a group especially - is laborious.  In some ways it's improved; in others, it's gotten worse.

 

If you haven't tried lumosity I urge you to do so.  At first it made my brain tingle and I'd get very anxious and then fall dead asleep after doing it (showing how out of shape my brain was).  Now, I sail right through my daily exercises. Although, when I'm given a new game, my brain tingles and I get anxious.  But it's helped a lot, especially with memory.

 

It's under $20/month. It's the best investment I've ever made.  Let me know if you try it.

 

ginger

[[Iw...]]

Is it ever hard for you to think? Mostly, making  comments on here is extremely difficult. . I'll stare and try to think of the words but find I'm unable to gather them or I'll have the words but am unable to put them into words. I'm better in person but writing my thoughts is so difficult. It can take hours. This improves for a couple of hours, not much  and my mind tires very easily. Feel like I'm in a spaced out all the time and like I'm in a dream. Memories also seem like dreams.

My head is very congested feeling, I'm wondering if that comes with it and if its inflammation.

 

On the positive side. The anxiety has subsided mostly. It's like a hum. The nervousness is low too as is the inner vibrations. The outer vibrations and trembling are gone. Depression is less often and less when its present.

This has been hard to write and took way to long.

 

Hope everyone is feeling well. 

 

but this is a really good post! so you did very well typing your thoughts out. i get like this too. that's good that

the outer vibration and trembling is now gone. i try to focus on the symptoms that are now gone. hard to do though.

 

I'm glad you thought it was a good post and in more than one way. I focus and am thankful everyday for the symptoms that have left or are less. The thinking thing, communicating has been a problem thats been with me a long time it  is constant but varies. Its getting worse but it will improve, like now its still difficult but I'm doing it. I would like to say more but its enough.

Pretty, I'm amazed at how I'm doing now. There was so much Anxiety,fear for so long I wondered if it would ever get better and it did! And the vibrations and trembling also weakness, gone. There is so much. I'm getting out now too. I'm not driving but go for rides close to home and made to a mini mart recently. Went in too!  I was completely housebound. Reminds me. Need to update my agoraphobia thread.

 

Healing thoughts to you