[dr...] Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Thx nova n coop. By my records I'm 2-3 months into this wave. I've had a day here or there but that's it. Hoping you're right coop. Feel better coop. Drew , just like coop said things seem to get worse before you turn a big corner. Mine lasted for 5 months, and I was getting much worse until things just changed like a light switch. Sounds like Ian has talked with countless people and the very same thing has happened to them. :smitten: you feeling better? I'm looking forward to that light switch. I have had so many doubts lately. I know it's the benzo lies but my brain says "it's the migraines and they'll be just as bad". Mind you, I never had more than one or two a year pre taper. I also think I'll be sick with days like today but adrenaline rushes are a common symptom never even had one until I jumped. As we all know and we all say our brains get screwed up in wave where we feel stuck like this. I just reread my highlighted passages of Recovery and Renewal. It restores my thoughts every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Drew, I have read so many success stories that affirm that if you didn't have whatever before w/d, it will go away with healing. .. And, things did make an abrupt shift to healing for me around month 21.5 but it has taken about 5 weeks or so for some sx to lessen in intensity and frequency and sort themselves out into a somewhat reliable pattern. In other words , even though sx were less intense they were ( are) still cycling through but with longer periods of absence in between cycles.. I was glad to read that you worked from home today. ...btw....splitting your propanolol will help with some of the adrenalin surges. Even if you are only taking it for one or two days. Beta blockers block cortisol, but some gets dumped back into your system as the medication leaves your system. I think propanolol lasts about 6 hours and atenolol about 9 -10... it's not like benzos... it doesn't build up . I took my atenolol each 10-12 hours and didn't have too much rebound. . Really wishing you a breather .. thinking of you.........coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Sky.....you are sounding really good under the cicumstances. I will be glad for you to have Internet back again....Your new community sounds welcoming....Sorry that your 'good day/bad day' pattern is still hanging on. I also get the band tightness and chest/stomach pain when anxiety hits me. I am looking forward to hearing that you have unpacked your bike and are exploring the lay of the land. Thank you so much for posting ....we are thinking of you every day.....Just look at one box at a time... Wishing you happiness with your new community.. .coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Thank you everyone for being so supportive and caring....Ive not been sleeping well with all this super tight muscles and spasms....it is hard to grasp at times all there crazy symptoms can be all benzo related.....I went through chemo and radiation seven years ago ...and suffered nothing like this... And if I did have a lot of pain I took a pill to help cope ....it worked.. Darn....nothing hels with these symptoms....oh well.... Coop....hope your swallow test comes back o.k.....waiting to here....mine showed spasms....my whole body I think spasms......ugh Thank you .....everyone......TM .....Thanks TM.. .It was an easy test. Took only about an hour. The barium was not difficult to take. They could see spasms, small esophogeal narrowing and another tiny hernia low in the esophogus... the rest I won't know until I see my gastroenterologist on Friday and he explains it all to me. I am not taking any antacids etc and managing it at a tolerable level with diet. I am drawing the lin at medications and scopes .. unless I hear definitive bad news....so far so good ......Boy, I am so sorry that you are still suffering muscle pain and spasms.. I am finding decent relief of upper belly pain with moist hot packs right on my chest and total belly....helps as long as the hot pack is on....sometimes longer.. .Feel better TM....this won't last forever.. it only seems like it......coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Drew, I have read so many success stories that affirm that if you didn't have whatever before w/d, it will go away with healing. .. And, things did make an abrupt shift to healing for me around month 21.5 but it has taken about 5 weeks or so for some sx to lessen in intensity and frequency and sort themselves out into a somewhat reliable pattern. In other words , even though sx were less intense they were ( are) still cycling through but with longer periods of absence in between cycles.. I was glad to read that you worked from home today. ...btw....splitting your propanolol will help with some of the adrenalin surges. Even if you are only taking it for one or two days. Beta blockers block cortisol, but some gets dumped back into your system as the medication leaves your system. I think propanolol lasts about 6 hours and atenolol about 9 -10... it's not like benzos... it doesn't build up . I took my atenolol each 10-12 hours and didn't have too much rebound. . Really wishing you a breather .. thinking of you.........coop Yeah coop...I don't mind taking the beta when it's those crazy adrenaline rushes. My only concern is if it would be blocking any healing that needs to go on. It really helped arrest them this morning. The damage was already done though as I was fried. I took a nap from 2-3 and it was the rush upon waking was very mild. I'm hopeful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Drew, in my experience....it didn't stand in the way of my healing at all.. as you know it's a completely different kind of medication, having said that... I am your health fear/medication fear twin and I had no problem with it. Like you I took practically a non-therapeutic dose... but it really helped my palps and bp spikes. I haven't needed it for months and had no problem dropping it. ....For me, it was worth it, but everyone is so unique.....The bottom line Drew, is, either way you are going to heal. .... .....This is what I know, every single person on this thread is rooting for you .....whatever you decide to do....or not to do.. love to you buddy.. coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Drew... ps.. I still take 12 mg when I have to go to the doctor for anything...it helps the white coat response and keeps my doctor from over reacting to a moderately high bp that I get now only at the doctor's.. At 22 months I have hardly ever have a palp and my bp is right around 110/70 without any treatment what so ever....except a decent green clean diet .. most of the time and no supps . I am glad that a small dose calmed your palps.. ..coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 All I know this is def a full fledged monster wave. I'm exhausted from just spending ten minutes doing the dishes. Walking 50 feet and I'm winded. Just have to let this run its course. I can feel my head pressure wanting to be full blown but it's still very low which is a big plus. These waves used to have the sinus stuff and head pressure. I do have a relatively clear mind so that's another positive. Plus we have a heatwave here and it's still 85 degrees right now in the house. The heat seems to exasperate my symptoms. I'm watching some tv and going to bed early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[La...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Drew... ps.. I still take 12 mg when I have to go to the doctor for anything...it helps the white coat response and keeps my doctor from over reacting to a moderately high bp that I get now only at the doctor's.. At 22 months I have hardly ever have a palp and my bp is right around 110/70 without any treatment what so ever....except a decent green clean diet .. most of the time and no supps . I am glad that a small dose calmed your palps.. ..coop 110/70 sounds great to me Coop. Keep it up. laser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Pu...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 All I know this is def a full fledged monster wave. I'm exhausted from just spending ten minutes doing the dishes. Walking 50 feet and I'm winded. Just have to let this run its course. I can feel my head pressure wanting to be full blown but it's still very low which is a big plus. These waves used to have the sinus stuff and head pressure. I do have a relatively clear mind so that's another positive. Plus we have a heatwave here and it's still 85 degrees right now in the house. The heat seems to exasperate my symptoms. I'm watching some tv and going to bed early. I feel the same way today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Drew ... I have been where you are now ... and think everyone has been there too ... and we know we can get through them each time ... Wishing some relief for you ... and wishing you a good rest ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Well ... awake at 1 AM ... feels like I have been squeezed into a tight ball of tension ... took an hour or so to release some of the tension ... Had a rough day with this contraction stuff ... came in waves most of the day ... just rode it out and released as much as I could each time ... Feel pretty tired ... and grounded ... had to stay quiet most of the day ... otherwise I found myself speeding up and slipping into that empty place where I feel lost and hopeless ... a seesawing day ... Each of us find ourselves living our healing each day ... we are getting there ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Pu...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Well ... awake at 1 AM ... feels like I have been squeezed into a tight ball of tension ... took an hour or so to release some of the tension ... Had a rough day with this contraction stuff ... came in waves most of the day ... just rode it out and released as much as I could each time ... Feel pretty tired ... and grounded ... had to stay quiet most of the day ... otherwise I found myself speeding up and slipping into that empty place where I feel lost and hopeless ... a seesawing day ... Each of us find ourselves living our healing each day ... we are getting there ... Nova, I know exactly what you mean. I'm laying here in bed. I've been sleeping off and on for the past 4 hours. It's 4:15am. Ugh. I hope you feel better. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Me too Nova...awake at 130. Happy but awake. I went to sleep easily but with a lot of residual waviness from the day...and woke up feeling like I had slept all night....and back to baseline.....happy.. .but awake at 130. "Living our healing" ....great mantra. Living in the midst of and with....and in spite of sx....Nova , the quiet slow and low days do keep us grounded. .Hope you have a little more bounce today.....carry on.......coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hi Coop and Pug ... yes, spent some time and most of the tension floated away ... went back to sleep for a while and woke up in that tense place ... Oh well ... Pug ... sometimes we just float through our night ... sometimes we sleep deeply ... and we do seem to rest no matter where we are during this night ... Coop ... happy for you that your test went well ... hopefully the results will be good also ... don't know about the bounce yet ... must be around here somewhere ... may need to turn on another light ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Well, 3 episodes of I Love Lucy...and still wide awake, but it's too early to get up.. lol. Can't complain though....no anxiwty, depression , etc etc. .. Nova glad you got a little more sleep....another day in the dance. ... coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Coop ... yep ... another day in the dance ... tough morning ... wrestling with the health fear stuff ... and ... just plain in a wave ... And, all is not lost ... managed to blanche and freeze some veggies ... just wish I hadn't started ... oh well, they are done ... Good to hear your anxiety/depression is staying away ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Co...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Oh, Nova. ..health fears ....they are awful and so convincing. When I am beset with them it takes all my mental energy to stay grounded with knowing that it's w/d ....only w/d. My heart and thoughts are with you .....hope they fade out through the day. I freeze all of my fresh veggies too...otherwise I lose them all as I can't use them before they start to go bad. Do you blanche all 9f your veggies or just certain ones? .....Hoping your day opens up to sunbreaks and some bounce coop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hi Coop ... I blanche everything except the peas ... we have an ice machine in our building so that helps a lot for the cold water bath ... I freeze peas, carrots, beans, cauliflower and broccoli ... also, when they come on I freeze roasted tomatoes with onions, garlic, and green peppers ... I also do squash and sweet potatoes for winter soup ... I can get good winter storage veggies until mid-January or so, then start using the freezer until the next season ... I find it very easy to do ... when I am in decent shape ... So ... being stubborn, I just put in two pans of roasted tomatoes before I lose them in the fridge ... if the health fears get me today at least the ambulance attendants will find a scrumptious smelling apartment ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Si...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I maybe barely got 1 or 2 hours of very light sleep last night. I just don't get it. I sleep relatively fine for 4 or 5 days and then get hit with a terrible night. I was tossing and turning and woke my wife up too. Then she couldn't go back to sleep. So now I feel double like crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Siggy ... that sucks ... I just don't get any of this stuff either ... I get tired of saying it, but what else is there to say, it is what it is until it isn't ... I just cling to the knowledge that those who stick with the process do get better eventually ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Good morning all... Coop-how wonderful that you are juat laying in bed without your mind scanning for problems. Siggy-It was 85 in my house at night. ugh... Heat makes me way worse Nova-hopefully this will pass in a few hours. YOu and coop and really inspiring right now. I can tell my adrenaline surges are starting to peter out. had some through the night but nothing alarming and keeping me up the whole time. Seems to be a pattern 1-2 days after my migraine leaves I get surges like crazy. I am sure they will leave as I heal further. Also, my exhaustion was incredible. Just walking around my house I would get winded with a racing heart. Glad everything seems dialed down a notch right now. At my work desk and in that tenuous place after being beat up by a bad wave. Feeling like I can revert back into it at a moments notice. Going to try and remain low key and I have accupuncture in a few hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Drew ... happy to hear things are slowing down some for you ... Question ... what does your acupuncturist treat when you have a treatment ... Have a good day ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I have just started up again and I go for tension/headache relief. I really don't know if it helps at all...I'd have to say I haven't noticed a difference but I have never stuck with it for more than a few sessions at a time. Plus, when I go I am usually in bad shape instead of starting from a stable place(if that exists for me ). Since I have met and exceeded all my deductibles I am going to give it a try until the end of year. It is very relaxing regardless so it is worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Thanks Drew .. I was curious ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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