Quotes, Poems, Phrases, Images

[[Mr...]]

[Guest [in...]]

 

If forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean saying you are okay with what someone did to you, what does it mean? Like, I mean, can someone please define forgiveness if it doesn't mean saying you're okay with what happened? With what someone did to you?  I am asking honestly. Thank you so much!

 

 

Forgiveness involves a deliberate decision to let go of deeply negative feelings toward a person or group who has caused you harm.

It is about letting go of the past that cannot be changed.

 

This starts when the mental decision is made to forgive the offender, and it is a process that takes place over time:  working

through release of negative emotions.

 

"To forgive is not to condone, it is to refuse to continue to feel bad about an injury."

 

 

Forgiveness is not:

forgetting

not based on others' actions but on our attitude

ignoring the offense or denying reality

regaining trust in a person

removing consequences

granting leverage of power to the forgiven

 

 

Forgiveness brings about peace of mind by freeing oneself of negative feelings toward the offender.

It allows you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you.

 

This is a disjointed explanation but the best I can offer at this time.

 

Peace to All.

 

Love,

Ins

 

 

 

[Guest [in...]]

 

 

The inspiration of Rocky Balboa!   

[[Mr...]]

I grab whatever I can! I'll post one last for some time so You guys won't accuse me of trolling 

http://static1.squarespace.com/static/53bc1f68e4b02796bef38d72/t/54a99c41e4b010b9ae320ba8/1420401733863/

 

Man's Search for Meaning

by Viktor Frankl

 

I recommend this book to anyone who struggles with suffering. Frankl's reason for writing his life affirming book:

"I had wanted simply to convey to the reader by way of concrete example that life holds a potential meaning under any conditions, even the most miserable ones. And I thought that if the point were demonstrated in a situation as extreme as that in a concentration camp, my book might gain a hearing. I therefore felt responsible for writing down what I had gone through, for I thought it might be helpful to people who are prone to despair."

[Guest [in...]]

I grab whatever I can! I'll post one last for some time so You guys won't accuse me of trolling 

http://static1.squarespace.com/static/53bc1f68e4b02796bef38d72/t/54a99c41e4b010b9ae320ba8/1420401733863/

 

Ah!  Mr. Anderson!

 

Viktor Frankl!   

 

"Man's Search for Meaning" is one of the most powerful books I've read...

Magnificent insight and courage ~~

 

Thank you, so much for sharing his quote.

 

Peace

 

Ins

 

[[Mr...]]

Haha! Ins You've responded while I was modifying my post Such an empowering book!!!

Hugs! 

[Guest [in...]]

"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are."

 

Rev. Forrest Church

 

Welcome to this thread, Eric

Thank you for sharing this quote!

I'm so glad you have joined us here.

Have a peaceful evening.

 

And from another Forrest, there's this:

 

 

 

 

Good Evening, Lapis

Love the philosophy of Forrest Gump

Sending hugs your way

Hoping your weekend has been an easy one

 

 

[Guest [in...]]

Haha! Ins You've responded while I was modifying my post Such an empowering book!!!

 

Hi, Mr. Anderson

 

Oh, "Man's Search for Meaning" is an amazing book.

I just recently completed it, and I've recommended it to

just about everyone I know. 

 

Between books and movies, we can cover just about every topic ... 

So glad you are here, Mr. Anderson.

 

What a joy you are!

 

Hugs,

Ins

 

 

[[Mr...]]

Thank You!!!

I feel blessed that I've found You guys! The value of support I get is priceless!

I'll be posting some mix of pop-culture and things a bit more literate... I think it was Jim Rohn who once said that we never know what can turn our lives around: a book, movie, catchy phrase in a song...

 

Stay Strong BBs!

[Guest [in...]]

I can't answer for forgiveness because that involves to many "parts" for me to handle in the state I'm in now, but I have some thoughts about acceptance (which I think must be an integral part of forgiveness too).

 

I used to fume when somebody even suggested that I should accept what has happened to me and how my life is now. "I can't accept this. This is the definition of unacceptable".

 

I have started to realise though that that isn't what acceptance is about here. Acceptance doesn't mean liking this or saying that it is okay. It doesn't even mean to not be angry about this.

 

To me, it has come to mean that I accept that this is what has happened, this is how it is now and this is what I have to work with. I don't like it;in fact I hate it. But I accept it as the reality that I face.

 

Earlier I rebelled against it. I said to myself that this can't be happening. This isn't me. I tried to run away from reality and myself in many ways.  Well, that didn't work at all... I was screaming inside and running around like a headless chicken in a blind panic. (Still do from time to time of course). I was scared out of my mind constantly.

 

Now I try to tell myself "Okay, here is where I am now. I don't like it, but I acknowledge this as where I'm at and now I'm gonna change it". I will not use more energy on trying to understand why this happened, how I could make the mistakes I made by using benzos or by blaming myself for it. I accept this starting point  for what it is and now I'll try to focus on making things better.

 

Cut away the noise that is anger, blame, trying to understand and so on. Leave it alone as regretable facts and history and set your  gaze on the future. The past you'll have to accept because it is what it is and you can't change it. The future,though, that's yours for the taking. A wiser, stronger and braver you will make amazing things out of that.

 

This probably didn't make much sense, but I accept that

Forgiveness is perhaps acceptance + letting the anger go. You can do both even if the person that hurt you hasn't asked you to forgive. That kind of forgiveness concerns you and your well-being and not the other person.

 

 

Norvegia,

 

Welcome back to this thread.  It's wonderful to see you here again.

 

This is so well written!

 

Your definition of forgiveness is brilliant:  acceptance + letting go of anger

 

Acceptance plays such a big role in peace of mind and in moving forward.

 

Thank you so much for this excellent post.

 

Wishing you a pleasant evening.

 

Peace to You

 

Ins

 

 

[Guest [in...]]

Forgiving is not forgetting...it is letting something go...it is no longer wasting your energy or spirit on something you can't change, but for the outcome you allow yourself to determine. Given the same circumstances someone else is in at the time of an action or reaction, i might very well behave in a like or similar manner, and i might not...does it matter anymore? Only if I let it matter, does it draw energy. If you borrow $10 from me and never pay it back...I may not forget it, and i may not loan you any more money, but for me, it will have been a ten dollar lesson. I will move on, and forgive you the money.  For you...?

Just my take on it...there are many, and most will be better said...tex

 

Good Evening, Tex

Wonderful post.

I love that you brought into play the fact that there are consequences - in spite of forgiving -

because some think that if we forgive, then there are no consequences.

There can be many consequences.

Also, that forgiveness is about the past ( which cannot be changed) and about letting go.

Hope you're taking some time for yourself these days, Tex

Hugs for you

Ins

[Guest [in...]]

Thank You!!!

I feel blessed that I've found You guys! The value of support I get is priceless!

I'll be posting some mix of pop-culture and things a bit more literate... I think it was Jim Rohn who once said that we never know what can turn our lives around: a book, movie, catchy phrase in a song...

 

Stay Strong BBs!

 

We look forward to your posts, Mr. Anderson

Take good care!

Hugs

Ins

 

 

[[An...]]

Dear Norvegia, Tex, and Ins,

Thank you so incredibly much for your insight 

 

You have helped me so much with what it means to forgive!! I have been struggling so much with forgiveness.

 

Norvegia, what you wrote makes so much sense...I will be working so hard to accept what is and to let go of anger, to not spend any more time on all that is wrong and unfair. I truly appreciate what you wrote and that you took the time to write it!! I truly always appreciate your insight!! I cannot tell you how much!!

 

Ins, I really liked how you listed what forgiveness is not! That was very helpful!!

 

I feel like this withdrawal syndrome happens to the nicest people. It's just not right in any way. Sending love and prayers for healing to each of you kind spirited, big hearted BBs  Thank you for taking the time to show me such beautiful kindness in the midst of all of your suffering. I am eternally grateful. 

[Guest [in...]]

 

 

Angel,

Thank you for asking the question about forgiveness.

This was very helpful for me to think about and to read

the insight from Norvegia and Tex.

I love that we can come together and support each other -

ask questions and get feedback from one another.

Much love to you, Angel

And to everyone here

Love,

Ins

 

p.s.

this reminds me of being in a classroom and having someone ask a

question that you also had wondered about, but were not brave

enough to ask ...

thank you for asking, Angel.

You are loved.

 

[[sn...]]

Hi Ins and all.  I'm so glad to see you back, sharing the love. 

 

I pray for you often.

 

Love, Snowy

[[Li...]]

 

Thank you to Tex, Norvegia and Ins, for the conversation about forgiveness.  I appreciate so much the ideas and wisdom you shared!  Wonderful insights and truth. 

 

And I appreciate Angel asking.  It is as Ins. said, like being in a classroom and having a brave soul ask the question so many have been considering!  Good for you, Angel!

 

I hope everyone has a good night of sleep - rest well!

 

Love to all,

❤

Lily

[[no...]]

Thank you all very much for the very kind words you have said about my rambling thoughts about acceptance!

 

It sometimes helps to put my thoughts down in writing because that can get them a bit out of my chaotic mind and make them clearer to myself. And, of course, it helps tremendously to get the insights of the brilliant people here about these topics that are so hard to deal with.

 

I think a lot about a quote I once read in a book about depression: "When you're in a hole, the first thing you have to do is to stop digging".

 

I think that is very true, but it is also very, very hard to do because we get so desperate and scared by all the awful things that happen to us because of benzo withdrawal. It's so hard to take in that this isn't something we can "solve" in the usual sense of the word, but just something we have to do our best to endure for the time being. "Solving" benzo withdrawal isn't so much about "doing" as it is about "being" long enough for it to play itself out and resolve itself.

 

In a way, it should be a relief that there isn't anything we have to do or figure out to get out of withdrawal, we just have to "be" and also perhaps leave it be. As humans, this is very hard for us to do though. We're built for problem-solving and actions. We have always met challenges with a hunt for solutions and by fighting to bend our problems to our will. It's hard for us to admit to powerlessness without letting that scare us senseless. It's hard to let go and find solace in this being a process that just has to play itself out outside our conscious control. But I think that we just as well try to accept that that is what has to happen because I think trying to control the uncontrollable will just wear us further down. I think we'll be best served by trying to find ways to stop digging instead of furiously running around with a shovel we have no clue how to use properly in this and which probably isn't the right tool for the job anyway...

 

[[...]]

Big hugs to Ins and all my lovely friends here.  Sorry I've been AWOL for a while, my body's been rather uncooperative of late, and add to that the stress of doing taxes and trying to catch up on my never ending To Do List ... well, you get the picture.

 

I haven't been able to go back and read all the posts yet, but am hoping to do so sometime soon.  So in the meantime, just wanting to spread some love and smiles.  I miss you all.

 

 

How about a little light fun to start the day ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.webmastergrade.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Famous-Quotes-Wallpaper-2.jpg

 

 

 

 

http://www.sunnyskyz.com/images/webpics/2012-10/5i5ai-funny-math-quote.jpg

 

 

 

 

http://www.mediawebapps.com/upload/laugh-quote.jpg

 

 

 

 

http://boldomatic.com/content/productmockup?mockup=B-TPAC-PLW-m2&key=post-pdfs/96260-a8ee087b6d8d85f714d5a939d3878c4e1f8fcef35ff9fbe359862e44cc566c91.pdf&width=480&format=jpg&quality=95&design=original&color=white&size=18x18

 

 

 

 

http://www.stylehasnosize.com/wp-content/uploads/winked.jpg

 

 

Much, much love to you all! 

[Guest [in...]]

 

ABCD

It is so good to have you back, my sweet friend.

I have missed you so much!

Sending you hugs and wishes for some relaxation

Please take care of yourself

Much love to you

 

 

Norvegia,

Thank you for another wonderful post.

You have captured well the emotions involved in the w/d process

Wise words for all of us.

Very grateful for your insight

Hope your week is peaceful

Hugs

 

 

 

Snowy,

I so appreciate your prayers, my dear friend

You are so kind and loving

Sending hugs and prayers to you

 

 

Lily,

Thank you for your insight about forgiveness

In a previous post, you touched on the issue of apologies

Very important point

I don't think forgiveness is contingent upon an apology

That's my attitude toward this subject

I can forgive unconditionally

My forgiveness is not based on someone else's apology or actions

I can release myself of anger and resentment regardless of an apology

I don't have to wait for anyone to do anything; I can release myself from the negativity

Your posts are not only creative, they are intuitive and full of wisdom

Much love to you

 

 

Wishing All a Beautiful Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[An...]]

Thank you so much for the sweet encouragement and compliment Ins and Lily! Norvegia, that is so helpful!! Such a great thread to be a part of!! Thank you so much 

[[pe...]]

http://lh6.ggpht.com/-y-4Ht2t_BjA/VL1awlZW77I/AAAAAAAA3EM/zo7y4h--PCM/forgivenessquoteridge_thumb1.jpg?imgmax=800

 

http://theartofforgiveness.org/

[[Fl...]]

Big hugs to Ins and all my lovely friends here.  Sorry I've been AWOL for a while, my body's been rather uncooperative of late, and add to that the stress of doing taxes and trying to catch up on my never ending To Do List ... well, you get the picture.

 

I haven't been able to go back and read all the posts yet, but am hoping to do so sometime soon.  So in the meantime, just wanting to spread some love and smiles.  I miss you all.

 

 

How about a little light fun to start the day ...

 

 

HEY A TO THE BCD

 

I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU HERE.

I'M SORRY THAT YOUR BODY IS BEING UNCOOPERATIVE!

NO FUN...NO FUN...NO FUN AT ALLLLLL.

 

I'M LOVING THIS FIRST QUOTE, AND YA KNOW...I MISS THE OLD FASHIONED DIAL PHONE. ONE THAT YOU CAN NOT TEXT ON...THE ONE WHERE IT RINGS YOU PICK IT UP AND HAVE AN ACTUAL MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION...AND YOUR ABLE TO HEAR EVERY TONE, LAUGH, CRY, SYE, DEEP BREATH, LINGERING SILENCE...YOU KNOW EVERY EMOTION!

 

I'M SENDING YOU ONE  HUGE HUG IN HOPE THAT YOU ARE FEELING BETTER SOON.  YOUR SUPER, AND I'M VERY HAPPY TO CALL YOU MY FRIEND 

 

LOVE AND FRIENDIESHIP TO YOU A,

FLUTER

 

AFTERNOON INSM, PD, LILY, LAPIS, SNOWY, AP, CD, TEX, NORVEGIA,

WISHING YOU ALL PEACE AND LOVE....

 

YOUR FLUTER FRIEND 

 

[[Mr...]]

Fighting with self pity! Hate that thing...

[[Fl...]]

Fighting with self pity! Hate that thing...

OKAY MR. A,

 

MAYBE I'M MISUNDERSTANDING THIS QUOTE?

 

I JUST HAVE TO ASK...YOU HAVE NEVER FELT SORRY FOR YOURSELF?

 

I THINK IT IS HUMAN NATURE FROM TIME TO TIME TO FEEL SAD AND SORRY FOR ONES SELF.

 

AS FOR MR. D.H. LAWRENCE...HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT A WILD THING DOES NOT FEEL SORRY FOR IT'S SELF? A WILD THING CAN NOT SPEAK.  A WILD THING...I'M KINDA THINKING WHEN THEY FEEL FEAR THEY ATTACK BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

 

HMMM, I RATHER BELIEVE A WILD THING AND A HUMAN THING ARE KINDA THE SAME. WHEN ONE IS SCARED AND FEELING CORNERED OR OVERWHELMED BY THERE SITUATION (HUMANS) OFTEN FEEL SORRY FOR THEMSELVES AND ARE VERY CAPABLE OF ATTACKING (WILD THINGS) ALSO FEEL FEAR AND ARE MORE LIKELY TO ATTACK OR COWER IN HOPES OF BEING HELPED.

 

IN THE END...WE ALL JUST WANT TO BE HELPED, HEARD, UNDERSTOOD, AND LOVED.

IMHO

 

HERE'S TO LIFTING OTHERS UP WHEN THEY ARE DOWN AND HURTING.  I WOULD MUCH RATER DO THAT THAN SEE SOMEONE FALL OFF A BRANCH

 

FLUTER

[[Mr...]]

Fighting with self pity! Hate that thing...

 

IN THE END...WE ALL JUST WANT TO BE HELPED, HEARD, UNDERSTOOD, AND LOVED.

IMHO

 

HERE'S TO LIFTING OTHERS UP WHEN THEY ARE DOWN AND HURTING.  I WOULD MUCH RATER DO THAT THAN SEE SOMEONE FALL OFF A BRANCH

 

FLUTER

Absolutely Fluter!

 

I was referring to myself only and thought that maybe someone else also feels that way...

The thing is while on withdrawal I'm trying to develop this inner toughness. Like a shield or armor to emerge stronger at the end of the road. It's what we've discussed about the Matrix video. "No! I'm troughe with you benzo's! I'm in charge!"  The quote might be oversimplifying what I was trying to say...For sure we will never know what Mr Lawrance exactly had on mind. He past away back in 1930.

I'm twisted on that subject because I want compassion from family, friends while at the same time I want to be this "wild thing". Fighting for survival without thinking. Whenever I start to, I cry: "Why me? Why this?" Hope it clarifies? 

 

Mr A