The jumping buddies group

[[Be...]]

That beaver is not very beaver like, nor is it very bear like, on closer inspection.  maybe the Canadian flag should have clued me in too.

 

I'm pretty tired, guys. I mean, dragged through a knot hole tired. And nauseousness has been kicking up. My tummy feels OK, I just feel kinda pukey. I've never puked once in withdrawal—that I can remember. I'm glad I don't remember some of the sh*t that I've been through. I was there, but not really. Know what I mean?

 

Who's ready for a good night sleep without any surging, tingling or racing heart beat?

 

Bennie

[[Sa...]]

Well I did get the flag right at least that's somthing, right?  I hear you Bennie....I've never full on puked, well, that not entirely true I stressed puked the evening of my daughters wedding celebration that was an epic night straight after acute....thank god she eloped that's all I can say...couldn't imagine myself going through the wedding in that state....I'm rambling... but yeah the pukey feeling I know it well...I wish I could forget everything I've been through you're one up on me Bennie 

 

I am calling it a night and since I'm down to only one wake up and the memory of a very pleasant dream last night I'll be hoping tonight is the same....for you too fingers crossed  it does get better Bennie remember that, ok?

 

[[Ki...]]

Thank you my dear Saga  6 months feels like a big deal....but not really feeling like celebrating, ya know? Hopefully the next 6 months will be bring significant healing. This takes too damn long 

 

Gonna - I'm Canadian too 

 

I hope everyone finds a little peace tonight 

[[go...]]

 

I'm laughing too and I've needed one the last few days  not at your expense Bennie I seriously thought that was a bear as well guess I do need new glasses sooner rather than later.... That and I need to brush up on my Canadien knowledge 

 

 

Omg now that's funny.  I just assumed it was totally obvious that it was a Beaver.  I took a quick look at it and it really looks like nothing I've ever seen.  Let's call him a gnu with a silly happy smile who is a little obsessive compulsive with his flag waving.   

 

Have a wonderful day everybody. 

[[Be...]]

 

I'm laughing too and I've needed one the last few days  not at your expense Bennie I seriously thought that was a bear as well guess I do need new glasses sooner rather than later.... That and I need to brush up on my Canadien knowledge 

 

 

Omg now that's funny.  I just assumed it was totally obvious that it was a Beaver.  I took a quick look at it and it really looks like nothing I've ever seen.  Let's call him a gnu with a silly happy smile who is a little obsessive compulsive with his flag waving.   

 

Have a wonderful day everybody.

 

The frenetic flag waving is what perks me up. A gnu? Gonna have to look that up...

Have a good day!

[[...]]

SAGA,  Thank you so much my sweet friend!!  Happy anniversary to you as well...  wish I could report something positive..  love you!

[[Be...]]

I dragged myself to a required meeting last night despite feeling bad. The distraction helped. If I could only live in that state 24/7. Waking every few hours with adrenalin rush and racing heart has me feeling desperate. I'm hot and my body is buzzing away, more amplified than ever, including my brain. I feel so labile.

 

I'm scared. And for once, my usually stoic husband is scared for me. I'm going from bad to worse with the trembling.

 

I keep reading about magnesium's critical role in all of the body's processes. There was one day after taking a whole capsule quite a few months ago, that made me feel perfectly fine. But first, I had a heat flush and was tingly, probably because it's a vasodilator. I want to try this again but am afraid of feeling worse.

 

I am waiting for results of many tests ordered by an endocrinologist. The first one to come back is cortisol, high normal, and significantly more so than less than a month ago. If I needed to begin a prescribed protocol, I don't know that I'd have the confidence to do it. So I want answers and yet am fearful of what they are.

 

Really need support.

Bennie

[[Sa...]]

Bennie I'm sorry I know this is all so hard and frustrating. Of course you have my support but I'm afraid I won't have any real answers for you. Other than having some general blood work done around the same time you are post jump I haven't seen a dr since that time, a very personal decision on my part. I have zero trust that any one of them would have an understanding of the post recovery of these drugs and how every system in the body can be affected. I also do not take any other meds or supplements other than b-12.  It is very scary all of this I do understand and it's difficult for spouses to watch and see the suffering that's what I'm going to call it flat out suffering. Healing is nonlinear and it's hard to understand at times. By all means if it will bring you any kind of peace of mind get yourself checked out. 

 

Sorry I'm running out of time I don't like posting when I can't do it properly....thinking of all you this morning hugs and love to everyone 

 

 

[[mr...]]

Hi Bennie,

It's tuff trying to find things to help, but magnesium has helped some folks I have talked with.

If cortisol is high, it can sometimes be due to pregnenolone steal where cortisol will steal from pregnenolone instead of letting pregnenolone create both cortisol and DHEA, but you have to look at all the hormones.

That's about all I know with cortisol.

If you are not eating enuf magnesium rich foods, you may need to supplement.

I pray things get better soon.

 

[[Be...]]

Hi Bennie,

It's tuff trying to find things to help, but magnesium has helped some folks I have talked with.

If cortisol is high, it can sometimes be due to pregnenolone steal where cortisol will steal from pregnenolone instead of letting pregnenolone create both cortisol and DHEA, but you have to look at all the hormones.

That's about all I know with cortisol.

If you are not eating enuf magnesium rich foods, you may need to supplement.

I pray things get better soon.

 

Thank you mrtmeo,

 

I have low progesterone and this time in cycle is when estrogen is dropping. Between that, and if cortisol is stealing from pregnenalone because preg is weak, maybe that's it. Going to try mag tonight. Really need sleep. I'm  going to cut back on bananas incase tyramine in it is revving me.

 

thx again.

Bennie

[[go...]]

Wow sorry it's taking its tole on yiu Bennie.  I'M in a very similar  boat as Saga.  I also don't trust the medical profession.  In the past I went to them with worry and they basically rolled their eyes with annoyance and just dont care or don't want to care to learn about the withdrawal process.  I also get my b-12 shot monthly.  I take my b and c vitamins along with my calcium.  I eat a lot of vegetabkes ... a lot.  Some days I feel better than others and I just go with the flow and I don't question it because I will never know what's up because healing is not linear unfortunately. 

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Bennie,

 

I'm sorry your feeling so disheartened. This is one tough road to travel. I'm 100% convinced that hormones have a huge impact on withdrawal/recovery. It's likely worth getting your hormones checked out by someone qualified. With that being said, I too have a big fear of any kind of treatment protocol because I never know what's going to rev me up. I suffer with a lot of intrusive thoughts about medications, etc. (As poor Saga can attest to  ) I live in fear most days of even needing an Advil 

 

I eat a lot of magnesium rich food (because I'm too afraid to take a vitamin) and I've noticed a big difference. Could you try that if it makes you more comfortable?

 

I wish there was more I could say....just please know you aren't alone 

[[Be...]]

Hey kiddo, thanks for reaching out. I have had my female hormones tested several times, and there is an issue with estrogen dominance, always has been, but when I tried HRT, it was BIG fail. I am having other hormones tested as we speak, with my blood and pee at the lab.

 

I'm going to ride this out best as I can. Will pop a mag glycinate shortly and see what happens. I'm trying self acupressure and breathing techniques for the trembling. It's worked before to put me to sleep.

 

At dinner I said to my husband, if I were pregnant, we known I've got the physiology that would have me being sick and miserable for nine months. I will think of post withdrawal as that, with a new me being rebirthed. (Forget that it may take longer, but I can only go through one pregnancy at a time!  it's a girl!) From that perspective, I'm in my first trimester of withdrawal! 

[[Sa...]]

Sorry that made me laugh Bennie  guess I'm on my 3rd back to back pregnancy 

 

Elle I'm sorry I forgot to say thanks the other day  I was in too much of a hurry. Now I have the time to post but not too much to say...positive anyway  I so hear you and all I can say is just keep going fighting through each and every day no matter how tiresome and disconcerting and discouraging it seems. It's big picture thinking and we all get there... 

 

Love and hugs to everyone...Kiddo Gonna Mrtmeo and to anyone else who's lurking 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Saga  oy vey, three back to back pregnancies! Oh—of the Benzo type   

 

All,

 

I took mag glycinate on Friday night without any effect. (Took with food, 90 mg)

 

I took mag glycinate  last night and internal trembling went away. Tingling died down too. I slept better, waking only once then went back to sleep. I still woke with surging at daybreak. (Took with very little food, 90 mg. Stomach hurt a bit.)

 

What this tells me is that I'm low in magnesium, otherwise there wouldn't have been an effect at such a low dose. Especially since this form of mag has low bioavailability. I did research this AM that confirms this. Magnesium works to block glutamate in the NMDA receptor. So I'm thwarting the neurotoxicity of glutamate. If I were to take too much mag, it'd have the opposite effect—which may be why some people have paradoxical reactions to magnesium. You can have too much of a good thing.  I am going to be a guinea pig again today, taking a bit more, at meal time.

 

I hope everyone has a feel good day.

Bennie

[[Ki...]]

That's fantastic, Bennie! Really, really great 

 

Jumpers:

 

This thread is so quiet  This was always my dear friend Saga's favourite thread and one I was so looking forward to becoming part of it. We've got to step up our game here folks 

 

Update from me: the last 4 days I was able to do things I haven't  been able to do in over 2 years. I work in sales, and am very careful in how I organize my time and book appointments as I am easily overwhelmed if I have too much on my plate. So, a HUGE potential deal came out of nowhere and I decided to just go with it and see if I could manage. I worked 14 hours on Thursday, 7 hours on Friday, Saturday was another 5 hours plus my children's hockey games and.....I'm FINE!!!! Tired and stiff, but fine. This simply would not have been a possibility even 6 months ago. I nailed it. And I'm so very proud of myself. Not to toot my own horn BUT toot, toot 

 

My anxiety is mostly non-existent, depression is SO much better (but still "there") and still struggle with anhedonia and lethargy. I seem to be dealing with mostly physical sx.....stiff muscles, jaw pain, teeth pain, body buzzing (when I've over exerted myself), itchy skin, headaches/pressure and a general feeling of being unwell.

 

Do other jumpers have mostly mental sx or physical sx? I'd be interested to know.

 

Hope everyone is doing well, or decent, or better 

 

[[Be...]]

Kiddo,

This is really fantastic news, to have some endurance and no significant symptoms!! Now, are you going to give yourself some recuperative rest, as pre-emptive strike?

Early in withdrawal my symptoms were both mental and physical. As I tapered lower, my mental symptoms were the first to ease up. And my mind has stayed 90% clear. It's the physical sxs which have dogged me at low doses and after jumping. The remaining 10% mental stuff comes in the form of bad dreams and occasional intrusive thoughts. They are so bizarre I won't repeat here.

 

I just took magnesium again, hoping to keep vibes at bay. FINGERS CROSSED.

 

Bennie

[[mr...]]

Wow, Kiddo,

It sounds like you are doing very well!

 

[[Cl...]]

Kiddo! I am very happy for you!!!

About your question: Mental sxs.

A Big hug! 

[[Ki...]]

Bennie - sounds like we're on the same "schedule" 

Interesting about the intrusive thoughts and bad dreams....right there with you  And to answer your question....YES. You'll find me firmly planted on the couch for the next 24-48 hours!

 

Clona - I've been following your progress. You're doing great!

 

Mrtmeo - Thank!

 

 

[[Sa...]]

Lol, this is the picture I tried to load the other day with no success so it's staying front and center today before I lose it

 

http://25.media.tumblr.com/64a12a4203439d271f4349fd42f40f6c/tumblr_n2pepstWg81svb9jto1_400.gif

 

I need a laugh today that's me by the way being dragged kicking and screaming and generally well you get the picture 

 

 

Anyway....whoa such good news here in a few short hours Bennie I'm so happy the mag helped! You may be onto something with the theory 

 

Kiddo what fantastic news  I mean really really fantastic about the projects and all that time wow that's a lot of work plus the hockey! Toot your own horn by all means!!!!!! Well deserved and you know it simply builds confidence each time you do things you couldn't imagine doing a few months ago. Now come sit with me on the sofa for a few days you've earned it 

 

You know this has always been my favorite thread well it's true I've never really moved far from it. It's my comfort zone...the truth is this far out I feel kinda weird bringing my own stuff here know what I mean? It's a strange position being this far out, but I will try to let loose a little bit more. Dunno when it changed but I became very self conscious about the whole posting thing and what I say...Talk about mental sxs alright that was supposed to be funny 

 

Where do I stand well obviously I've alluded to all kinds of physicals remaining...way too many...the mentals still give a run for my money like this weekend for instance. Boom just like that the hammer came down with a stress related situation. I cannot handle much stress at all and I mean AT ALL  I'm not beating myself up about it but I sure wasn't very happy with the turn of events. I'd forgotten how some of this felt at its worst. Guess that's good...Onward 

 

Clona you are doing great I follow you as well 

 

[[Cl...]]

Geeez! I need to be careful with my grammar! 

[[Cl...]]

Lol, this is the picture I tried to load the other day with no success so it's staying front and center today before I lose it

 

http://25.media.tumblr.com/64a12a4203439d271f4349fd42f40f6c/tumblr_n2pepstWg81svb9jto1_400.gif

 

I need a laugh today that's me by the way being dragged kicking and screaming and generally well you get the picture 

 

 

Anyway....whoa such good news here in a few short hours Bennie I'm so happy the mag helped! You may be onto something with the theory 

 

Kiddo what fantastic news  I mean really really fantastic about the projects and all that time wow that's a lot of work plus the hockey! Toot your own horn by all means!!!!!! Well deserved and you know it simply builds confidence each time you do things you couldn't imagine doing a few months ago. Now come sit with me on the sofa for a few days you've earned it 

 

You know this has always been my favorite thread well it's true I've never really moved far from it. It's my comfort zone...the truth is this far out I feel kinda weird bringing my own stuff here know what I mean? It's a strange position being this far out, but I will try to let loose a little bit more. Dunno when it changed but I became very self conscious about the whole posting thing and what I say...Talk about mental sxs alright that was supposed to be funny 

 

Where do I stand well obviously I've alluded to all kinds of physicals remaining...way too many...the mentals still give a run for my money like this weekend for instance. Boom just like that the hammer came down with a stress related situation. I cannot handle much stress at all and I mean AT ALL  I'm not beating myself up about it but I sure wasn't very happy with the turn of events. I'd forgotten how some of this felt at its worst. Guess that's good...Onward 

 

Clona you are doing great I follow you as well 

 

 

I like the picture 

[[os...]]

 

I just took magnesium again, hoping to keep vibes at bay. FINGERS CROSSED.

 

Bennie

 

Benniejets, when you say vibes, do you mean vibrations?

[[Be...]]

 

I just took magnesium again, hoping to keep vibes at bay. FINGERS CROSSED.

 

Bennie

 

Benniejets, when you say vibes, do you mean vibrations?

 

Yes. Inner trembling. It's working 90% of the time.  :thumbsup:Occasional bump up of trembling after breakfast, but otherwise good!

 

How you doing?

Bennie