Are You Glad or Sorry You Updosed or Held?

[[th...]]

mrtmeo,

Just read Mrs post. She did a long drawn out taper. Not sure she is even off yet. I won't be doing that kind of taper. Most of her syx I have had for 3 yrs already while in unknown tol and interdose wd ....docs said it was fibromyalgia. I guess at lower doses she is struggling some. She can work so that always does say something about syx to me. Good for her! I already had to quit my job 3 yrs ago when dx with fibromyalgia. Physical syx in the form of pain mostly. I won't be dragging my taper out like hers, but I am glad it seems to be working for her. Hopefully she ll do fine when she is finally off. All the best to everyone on this board! Benzos suck and I will never take another as long as I live! 

[[mr...]]

mrtmeo,

Just read Mrs post. She did a long drawn out taper. Not sure she is even off yet. I won't be doing that kind of taper. Most of her syx I have had for 3 yrs already while in unknown tol and interdose wd ....docs said it was fibromyalgia. I guess at lower doses she is struggling some. She can work so that always does say something about syx to me. Good for her! I already had to quit my job 3 yrs ago when dx with fibromyalgia. Physical syx in the form of pain mostly. I won't be dragging my taper out like hers, but I am glad it seems to be working for her. Hopefully she ll do fine when she is finally off. All the best to everyone on this board! Benzos suck and I will never take another as long as I live! 

Hi grinch,

Have you had a 25 hydroxy D test done and got your D levels into the optimum range of 60-80 ng/mL?

Many times a fibro dx is really just osteomalacia.

[[th...]]

I have had every test in the book over the last few yrs and seen every type of Dr. Really, everything and anything!!!!! Even had a trip to the mayo clinic in 2011. I am in perfect health  . The next time I go in for a test my heart will have had to stop beating, otherwise I m chalking it up to wd  . Just my journey of course. Thanks for thinking of me though

[[Ki...]]

Grinch

Interesting perspective on long acting vs short acting benzo's. I've thought the same thing myself, although, it could just be wishful thinking on our parts.....but I need any type of hope I can get 

 

Mrtmeo

What have you decided with your Mom's taper? I'm on day 2 of my updose and feeling much better. Well, better in withdrawal world anyway.

 

 

[[mr...]]

Mrtmeo

What have you decided with your Mom's taper? I'm on day 2 of my updose and feeling much better. Well, better in withdrawal world anyway.

 

Hi kiddo,

My mom updosed 2 times because the physical sx's were extreme. I have been holding her 2nd updose for a month and tho the physical sx's settled down on day 18, she has this new sx of depression nightly and it is not letting up.

Also, her appetite has gone down and the updose has not helped the panics and breathing.

The updose actually made the breathing worse after a couple month improvement.

I am just going to have to wait this out and start cutting because updosing brought in too many new sx's that I had to wait weeks for them to go away.

My mom will be entering her 11th month tapering, so I am hoping her sx's follow this chart

http://www.benzosupport.org/recove7.gif

http://www.benzosupport.org/recove7.gif

[[Ki...]]

Where is that chart from? Is it in relation to tapering or after jumping?

[Guest [ma...]]

 

Gardnerforhealth on here was a long term user, her taper was so fast after over 2 decades of use that she was hospitalized and then some time post taper had to go into hospital again for 6 weeks due to extreme terror, you see, everyone is different.

 

Personally, I don't want to be so terrified I wind up in a hospital bed... because I "only have a few mgs to go"...

 

Read Gardenerforhealth's success story, it's pretty scary stuff...

 

Oscar,

 

GFH sadly with the advice of her dr "tapered" for 8 months. Before that time she cut from 2 mg of K to 1 mg of K in a short period of time. Then at one point was told to increase back to 1 mg and she went into severe tolerance w/d. She was then told it was safe to stop at 0.635 mg of K. That's a Valium equivalent of 12.7 mg.

 

Yes she was on for a long time but her taper in my opinion is a poor choice to compare to what you think might happen to you or other long term users who taper slowly over a long period of time. As you said you have a few mgs to go and you have been tapering for 33 months. How can you compare that to an 8 months taper and jumping at 12.7 mg?

 

What about all the Success Stories of long term users who tapered and are doing well. Why not focus on those?

 

There is tons of scary stuff out there and our brain latches on to whatever we feed it. Why not hope for the best instead of focusing on all the possible terrible things that might happen?

 

I don't even understand why you would post that someone's story is scary so go read it.

 

 

 

[[mr...]]

Where is that chart from? Is it in relation to tapering or after jumping?

It is from here

http://www.benzosupport.org/recovery_times.htm

 

And yes, it is post benzo's but I believe that tapering counts because healing takes place while tapering.

[[th...]]

Mandala!!! Exactly my thoughts!!!! 

[[Sm...]]

Grinch there is a Xanax support group on support group sections

 

It may be also that valium w/ds on here are weighted to worse cases/slower tapers because the people who have crossed to valium were already the ones struggling.

[[th...]]

I agree. That is prob the case.

[[Sm...]]

Having said that I know a lot of valium taperers are some of the most functional asymptomatic benzo taperers you can come across. But we do go painfully slow but some people's standards.

And we come full circle: whatever works for you

[[be...]]

Tapering from xanax was pure hell. Once I crossed over to V. .it was more like Bardo w/ some visits to hell. My body just does better w/ the longer acting benzo. Horrific pain trying to taper from xanax.  Glad I crossed over.

[[Ki...]]

I held for 21 (terrible) days....no relief.

 

I've just finished my 2nd day of a small updose (only .003mg) and I'm happy to report I'm around 65% improved already.

 

In this battle I think we need to constantly re-evauate, change, updose, slow down, hold, speed up, do kart wheels or whatever else it takes to get through it.

 

I was too stubborn to updose because I want OFF these drugs. I was also afraid. In the end, all I lost was 21 days and gained nothing. I would actually be further ahead in my taper if I had done the updose sooner, held for a week and then carried on with my reductions. I hope to not have to do this often, but if my cuts exceed my healing rate, I now know I have options that don't involve 21 days of acute suffering.

 

Everyone on BB speaks of PATIENCE and while I believe that to be 150% true I think the other key to a successful taper is ADAPTABILITY.

 

Wishing everyone healing and windows 

[[et...]]

etown

[Guest [ma...]]

Mandala!!! Exactly my thoughts!!!! 

 

I have been off these drugs long enough to see how benzos not only distorted my thinking but made me weak and completely changed my personality. I was incapable of making decisions on my own, the tiniest amount of stress would make me fold, I had no confidence in any of my abilities and nobody would have been able to convince me that I could accomplish anything.

 

However that entire mindset has vanished now that I have been off for more than two years. I have more confidence than ever, my mind is clear, my intellectual abilities are stronger than ever, I do not question or second guess myself ever. I still have several physical symptoms but I will take those any day over the psychological ones that plagued me for so long.

 

Even though I understand the overall effects of GABA it's still shocking to me how drugs such as benzos can change a person so much. They truly make us feel hopeless, helpless and apathetic. On top of that I had become such a negative person. I could not see the good in anything. I talked chronically about all the BAD stuff all the time. It was like my brain thrived on negativity.

 

It's very difficult to see that when it's happening to you while on the drugs, but it's so very apparent after you get off the drugs and start to heal. The only thing that gave me a clue that something was really wrong was the rage that began after taking the Klonopin. One day I screamed at my mother while talking to her on the phone. I screamed so loudly and for so long it made my throat sore. It not only scared me but it scared her terribly as well. After that phone call, I instinctively knew it was not the real me. It was the catalyst for getting off all those drugs.

 

I feel very blessed to be where I am today.

 

I sure wish you the best with your taper.

 

 

 

 

[[os...]]

 

Mandala, that just reminded me that when I was on my full dose I complained incessantly about everything, shopping, housework, chores, anything that involved work... I used to have a really short fuse and I was often really snappy and irritable... my partner used to say "why are you always so bad tempered over the smallest of things?"

 

I see that now more than ever... just reading your post made me remember that.

 

I can't have been easy to live with at times. 

 

I have lost it a few times in my taper, real rage like I was possessed and that has had me fall back into shock after an outburst because it's just not me to be like that, the real me is very placid and gentle... having benzo withdrawal rage is like being taken over by something for a few minutes... really horrible.

 

I am glad that has eased off now... mind you, I lost my temper a few times out of someone messing around in my life and I simply did not have the ability to tolerate crap at that time, my survival instinct was more important and I could not deal with people stressing me out and so I would get super angry as a way to say I would NOT put up with it (basically because it was true, my wellness was far too important to put up with other people's drama in my home).

 

Now I manage to distance myself and detach... but my home is peaceful again now... the offending person moved out some time ago...

 

I am so glad you have healing happening Mandala, that is just great.

 

 

[Guest [ma...]]

 

I am so glad you have healing happening Mandala, that is just great.

 

Thanks so much. You are on the home stretch and close to the end of your taper. Good for you. 

[[ch...]]

noklonono, if you can't see where that finger pointing was then no-one here can help you. You may want to get reading glasses. lol

 

I'll say it again...... telling people you busted the "protracted boogie man myth" is in indeed fingerpointing at everyone who says they have and calling them liars...because they say they proved it was a myth because they were ok.

[[No...]]

noklonono, if you can't see where that finger pointing was then no-one here can help you. You may want to get reading glasses. lol

 

I'll say it again...... telling people you busted the "protracted boogie man myth" is in indeed fingerpointing at everyone who says they have and calling them liars...because they say they proved it was a myth because they were ok.

 

 

ChinaDoll is a kind and compassionate person. Because she's a kind and compassionate person, I'm betting that she doesn't want to see people frightened into needlessly long--and possibly detrimental--tapers, which can happen when they read that protracted withdrawal is inevitable if they don't do turtle tapers, up-dose, and hold for long periods.

 

Since ChinaDoll is now completely healed despite the fact that she didn't do any of those things, the dire warnings of protracted withdrawal were, in fact, a lie--for her. (She didn't deny it exists for others.) She healed, anyway, after long-term benzo use, and what's more, remained functional throughout, despite more than her share of suffering.

 

This is good news. Why are you turning it into something else?

[[ch...]]

She did not say that protracted withdraw did not end up happening to her, even though it does to others. She said she busted the myth of protracted withdrawal period.

 

Maybe she would like to come out here and say that it is not so.....but she has assuredly seen me say this multiple times and has not come out to say that she meant that it was not the case for her but meant it is indeed true for others.

 

I've already thoroughly explained my view on tapering. You seem to be doing a whole lot of talking for someone else about what they actually meant....perhaps they should clarify this as I said.

[[ch...]]

noklono, furthermore she said,  " And after reading this forum all these months I am of the opinion that those who choose to draw this out for years are often as addicted to their tapers as they are the benzos.  And as for scaring people with the "protracted withdrawal" bogie man, well, that is a benzo myth I have personally busted."

 

Which 100 percent, unequivocally, without a doubt, is saying that her opinion is that people are addicted to their tapers as much as their benzos and that the protracted withdrawal aspect is a myth.....IT IS RIGHT FRICKEN THERE IN HER OWN WORDS.

 

So please, tell me again what she said and meant.

[[No...]]

She did not say that protracted withdraw did not end up happening to her, even though it does to others. She said she busted the myth of protracted withdrawal period.

 

Maybe she would like to come out here and say that it is not so.....but she has assuredly seen me say this multiple times and has not come out to say that she meant that it was not the case for her but meant it is indeed true for others.

 

I've already thoroughly explained my view on tapering. You seem to be doing a whole lot of talking for someone else about what they actually meant....perhaps they should clarify this as I said.

 

 

I guess I got the impression you were addressing me when you used my screen name. 

 

 

[[No...]]

noklono, furthermore she said,  " And after reading this forum all these months I am of the opinion that those who choose to draw this out for years are often as addicted to their tapers as they are the benzos.  And as for scaring people with the "protracted withdrawal" bogie man, well, that is a benzo myth I have personally busted."

 

Which 100 percent, unequivocally, without a doubt, is saying that her opinion is that people are addicted to their tapers as much as their benzos and that the protracted withdrawal aspect is a myth.....IT IS RIGHT FRICKEN THERE IN HER OWN WORDS.

 

So please, tell me again what she said and meant.

 

I have nothing to add to my previous response.

 

Apologies to the OP for my part in this silliness.

[[ov...]]

Interesting thread!  No absolutes in W/d.  What works for one doesn't work for all.  Some have a lot of s/xs some do not.  No hard and fast rules in the benzo world.

xo OC  :smitten: