Z-Drug Support Group (Lunesta, Imovane, Zimovane, Ambien, Sonata, Zopiclone)

[[...]]

Hey guys. 

 

I feel most of my trouble stemmed from the zopiclone use.    I think that drug made me very very sick.  At my highest I was touching 21 mg's or more in a 24hour period.  I have been off zopiclone for nearly 9 months now.  I crossed to clonazepam over a 2 week period in which time I had 3 ER visits. Stabilized on that for 5 weeks and tapered that.   

 

 

My sleep still sucks big time.  I too get 5-7 hours of terrible sleep.    The poor sleep revs up all my other sx's.  I'm miserable right now and exhausted daily.  If I have to do 2 flights of stairs in a row Im bagged and it feels like my hearts gonna pound out of my chest.

 

Is anyone else here POTSy ?  Have terrible stamina?

[[Ji...]]

Yes, I am certainly changed by my withdrawal from meds. Physically it has been very difficult to get back to my old level of fitness.

 

The breathlessness is immense and I now realise caused by the anxiety which is left over from the withdrawal. palpitations still come and go. I must say tho, this is getting better.

 

The anxiety is still problematic. I think the worse thing in a way, is that I forget that this is due to withdrawal. I get confused and think, gosh why on earth can't i breathe, or what the heck is going on with my nervous system. Then I remember just how long it takes to heal from these withdrawal experiences and in some ways this helps.

 

The fatigue is really life affecting sometimes when it hits. I guess it makes sense to be so tired when your nervous system is so wired a lot of the time.

 

Its hard not to throw yourself back into LOTS of life once you feel a little bit better but I'd say take it really slowly. Try and be kind to yourself and DO NOT compare your life to other peoples lives and what you think they are able to do.

 

we are all battling something on this planet. all of us.

 

J x

[[...]]

Good greif Jiggly. 

 

Your 2 years and 3 months out and still symptomatic?

 

Thats, uhhh, discouraging 

[[...]]

So after 8 years addiction to zopiclone I'm determined to kick it!

 

Tonight I'm going to either take a reduced dose or none if I can..

 

The trouble I have is I don't fall asleep without them, as in, 8am and still awake!

 

Some people just "pass out" at 3-4am god I would LOVE THAT

 

I have hyper insomnia I can be up for 4 days straight

 

Also what I've figured out is that I'm "safe" if I take a pill, it's like I left the back doors open downstairs or left the gas on if I don't take one.. If that makes sense?

 

As soon as I take one all that goes away, I need to try CBT to break my patterns

[[Tr...]]

Hi there I am new to this group. I need some advice on how to deal with my current situation. I am currently taking 38 to 40 10 mg sonata capsules a day. I have seen two addiction specialist and one wants to taper me with value and the other wants to do it cold turkey sonata with drawl and manage the symptoms for non-controlled medications. If anyone has any experience with this medication can you please advise on the best route I should take. I am seeing one of the doctors today and I need to make a decision within the next couple days of what I'm going to do. I think you and advance.

[[...]]

Hey I think you need to reduce your dose down to a controllable level then see, you need to get onto something else like valium

[[go...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

I took zopiclone for 2 months at 3.75mg per night. I did not tape, and now after reading all the posts maybe I should have. I'm off it for 5 weeks now and only had trouble sleeping 2 nights. The one thing that I've had was excessive anxiety, DP and dizziness. On the bright side, I know that time will heal all wounds and that's what keeps me going.

[[al...]]

So after 8 years addiction to zopiclone I'm determined to kick it!

 

Tonight I'm going to either take a reduced dose or none if I can..

 

The trouble I have is I don't fall asleep without them, as in, 8am and still awake!

 

Some people just "pass out" at 3-4am god I would LOVE THAT

 

I have hyper insomnia I can be up for 4 days straight

 

Also what I've figured out is that I'm "safe" if I take a pill, it's like I left the back doors open downstairs or left the gas on if I don't take one.. If that makes sense?

 

As soon as I take one all that goes away, I need to try CBT to break my patterns

 

Zuko,

I wonder if the unsafe feeling that you get when you don't take a pill is caused by inter-dose withdrawal. It goes away when you feed your body/mine what it is addicted to. It may not be a behavioral thing at all.

[[Tr...]]

Hey I think you need to reduce your dose down to a controllable level then see, you need to get onto something else like valium

 

The problem is that I am currently out of Sonata and have no way to get more so that's why I am posting my two options at this point. Going cold turkey with medications clionidine and something for nausea, or do the Valium taper. My concern is that I have a vast array of symptoms already extreme panic attacks nausea and ability to eat insomnia huge anxiety paranoia feverish flushed face high blood pressure from anxiety attacks heart palpitations. I wasn't sure what other sleeping pill people were doing. The doctor I saw today will not prescribe me Sonada to taper with. The other doctor just wants me off the Sonata and wants to start me on Valium and taper may slow me. Does this information change your response at all?

[[cr...]]

Texas star, yes Ashton touches on Ambien but she gives mixed messages so I can't follow that.  Thank you. Cross

[[Ca...]]

Hey I think you need to reduce your dose down to a controllable level then see, you need to get onto something else like valium

 

The problem is that I am currently out of Sonata and have no way to get more so that's why I am posting my two options at this point. Going cold turkey with medications clionidine and something for nausea, or do the Valium taper. My concern is that I have a vast array of symptoms already extreme panic attacks nausea and ability to eat insomnia huge anxiety paranoia feverish flushed face high blood pressure from anxiety attacks heart palpitations. I wasn't sure what other sleeping pill people were doing. The doctor I saw today will not prescribe me Sonada to taper with. The other doctor just wants me off the Sonata and wants to start me on Valium and taper may slow me. Does this information change your response at all?

 

I would do the Valium taper. Hopefully the Valium dose is enough to cover the sonata deficiency.

Wish you luck

Carol

[[Tr...]]

Thank you Carol. It's so hard to make these decisions when you're already in there with drawl state so I appreciate your help. I'm going to start on Monday so I need to make a decision quickly on which route I'm going to go. I'm terrified and scared all the time and I don't want to start something and be committed and make the wrong choice that's not gonna help me.

[[...]]

If you're taking valium you shouldn't have any serious withdrawals start at 10mg and see how you go

[[Tr...]]

Will the Valium help with the anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia? The irony is that at this point the Sonata is making me so sick being on it and also not taking it...it's a horrible cycle ...I'm desperate to stop it so I was curious if the Valium helps with the panic attacks and also nausea because I am not able to eat I'm so sick all the time . I also wondered in this forum if you consider Sonata to be a benzo once it enters the blood stream and if there is a risk for seizure?

[[Se...]]

Trudie,

 

Another z-drug sufferer here.  I would second Carol's advice to, under the circumstances, go to the valium and do a slow, controller taper (think very, very slow).  Get advice from the taper board.

 

Your symptoms may not resolve even when you are stable on the valium which may take some time after the cross-over as it takes time for your blood levels to stabilize.  Unfortunately, when you hit tolerance as you have done, sometimes you cannot stabilize.  This may not happen to you.  If this does happen, however, the only and best thing you can do is taper slowly and gut it out.

 

These z-drugs, in my humble opinion, are every bit as bad as the benzos.  I really suffered greatly.  I know others who have not suffered hardly at all but I was very ill for 2 years in tolerance and interdose withdrawal.  I tapered directly using zopiclone (dry cut) over 10 months.  Hopped off 28 months ago and became very, very ill.  I am not the norm however.  At 22 months, things dramatically got better and I started to have "windows" where I didn't feel ill.  Things are getting better from there but it has been a very long haul.

 

I have a lot of experience, you can read my success story to give you some background.  Others, like Carol and Cindys have dealt with z-drugs.  They are very evil drugs.  It has been hard to lose 5 years of my life really, all for insomnia.

 

Keep asking questions.  We lead the way as we have gone through hell and have come out the other side.  I only started feeling well enough to post at 16 months and posted sparingly until 22 months off as I was too unwell.  I'm well enough now to reach out and tell you that this will be hard but worth it - the day I figured out what was making me so ill was the day I truly started to get my life back.  The doctors are clueless about these drugs and the World Health Organization considers them to be, for all intents and purposes, benzos.

 

 

SeekingSanity

[[Tr...]]

Thank you so much for your reply. It helps me tremendously. I am getting different opinions from these two addiction specialist as I have mentioned before. One addiction specialist wanted me to CT off sonata completely and detox me and 3 to 5 days just using non-controlled medications to manage my withdrawal symptoms. The other doc wants me to stop Z completely and start V immediately and not take any Z at all. He wants there to be no crossover He will only prescribe 7 10 mg V per day. I'm starting V tomorrow and will be calling the doctor to see if you were up the V dose. Any recommendations you can have for me regarding questions to ask her what to expect would be much appreciated. I'm scared and paranoid all the time and have panic attacks and extreme anxiety over this. So any feedback you can provide for that phone call would be much appreciated since my brain is completely foggy at this point. I can't thank you enough for posting a reply and I hope I can count on you when I start freaking out and have more questions. It's been so hard to make a decision. The last thing I want is to start becoming dependent on V. I desperately want off Z because it's making me so sick. Again, i'm sick with it and sick without it.

 

Much Gratitude, Trudiehaze.

[[Tr...]]

PS: The other thing that got me so paranoid is that the younger dog was telling me I will not have a seizure I will not be at risk for a seizure and I would be putting myself in jeopardy by doing the taper. Since I'm experiencing paranoia panic attacks and anxiety and decision and fogginess this did not help me because of my have been posting the same questions over and over again. This is a big decision to make and I want to do it right and there's no going back for me so that's why I so appreciate this forward because I want to know that I'm doing the right thing for my health and my body.

[[Se...]]

Trudie,

 

Can you make a signature?  I think they gave instructions to you in the introduction post when you signed up.  It would help.

 

If I recall correctly, you were on massive amounts of Sonata, a z-drug, for sleep?  Were you prescribed this by a doctor or someone else.  If a doctor gave you these huge amounts, I'm frankly surprised.  If not, I hope you are honest - completely honest - with the addiction doctor and also that you work meticulously with them to follow their advice.  This will only work if you are honest and work WITH them.

 

You are at risk of seizure if you cold turkey benzos/z-drugs.  This is a very serious, potentially life-threatening issue so please don't consider a cold turkey.  The only way to go to try and minimize withdrawal issues is to taper VERY slowly over time.  If they won't prescribe the z-drug anymore then tapering slowly and sensibly under the care of an addictions doctor is the sensible and sane thing to do.

 

As to how much valium you will need in order to stabilize before you begin your taper, you will have to work very closely with the doctor on this.  Frankly, if you were on such high, high doses of the z-drug, they may be very unwilling to give you the amount of valium that this would be equivalent to.  You'll just have to work closely with them and provide them with feedback, honest feedback, on how you are doing.

 

If you do cross over to valium it is long acting and the tapering should be easier as a result.  Not that the withdrawal will necessarily be easier but that it is possible to do small cuts (5 to 10%) every 10 days to 2 weeks and to go to even smaller cuts or a micro-taper if this prooves to be too difficult.

 

The people for you to talk to are the Valium tapering support group here on the boards once you cross over, they will have so much more information and direct experience for you to lean on.

 

I wish you the best of luck here.  I think whatever issues brought you to such a high, high dose of Sonata need to be worked through on their own.  If I were you, I would reach out for help from the addictions counsellors and possibly a 12 step group if you could find one and start to figure out what brought you to this point in your life.  I did this and it has helped me through a very difficult withdrawal.  This is not for the feint of heart, I was very ill for the 10 months i tapered and for almost 2 years in withdrawal after I jumped even though I tapered very slowly.

 

I don't know if the cognitive issues - the panic, anxiety and fogginess will be helped by crossing over to Valium if you are in tolerance withdrawal at this point.  This is a tricky issue as you can also be cross tolerant to other benzos and you may find it very difficult to stabilize and that these issues will not truly start to resolve until you carefully taper and GET OFF the benzos entirely.  One thing I do know is that crossing over to a longer acting benzo and slowly, slowly tapering is the best shot you have and that COLD TURKEY is no option at all.  Ask any of the cold turkey buddies here, it can make you very, very ill for a long, long time.  Do yourself a favour, work closely and honestly with the doctor and slowly taper.

 

 

SeekingSanity

SeekingSanity

[[Tr...]]

Trudie,

 

Can you make a signature?  I think they gave instructions to you in the introduction post when you signed up.  It would help.

 

I will work on that. I apologize for not doing that sooner I honestly haven't felt good enough to do the signature and I'm not quite sure how to do it.

 

If I recall correctly, you were on massive amounts of Sonata, a z-drug, for sleep? 

 

Yes this is correct. I started taking Sonata five years ago for my chronic insomnia.

 

Were you prescribed this by a doctor or someone else. 

 

I was prescribed this by a doctor. I started out at a normal dose and then needed more and more and worked up to taking 40 10 mg Sonata a day.

 

If a doctor gave you these huge amounts, I'm frankly surprised. 

 

I was seeing different doctors to get my prescriptions. You are correct and that no doctor would prescribe this high dose. I have been honest with these doctors that once they found out I was being dishonest with them they all fired me and refused to treat me. Hence why I am no longer able to get Sonata and why I am now putting my efforts into finding an addiction doctor that will help me through this and posting here for help and advice. I am to the point where the Sonata is making me sick with and without it (if that makes sense ) and I can't do this anymore.

 

 

If not, I hope you are honest - completely honest - with the addiction doctor and also that you work meticulously with them to follow their advice.  This will only work if you are honest and work WITH them.

 

I have seen to addiction doctors and I have been completely honest with them about my situation and behavior around sonata. I know longer want to live the way I have been living so I have told the two doctors I consulted with everything. When one wanted to CT me with non-controlled substances for with drawl symptoms and said I was at no risk for seizures and I would only be under his care for two weeks only and one wanted to do the V taper but would only go so high as 70mg V (like you said no doctor is going to prescribe such massive amounts) that's when I got scared and started posting here not knowing which way would be best.

 

You are at risk of seizure if you cold turkey benzos/z-drugs.  This is a very serious, potentially life-threatening issue so please don't consider a cold turkey.  The only way to go to try and minimize withdrawal issues is to taper VERY slowly over time.  If they won't prescribe the z-drug anymore then tapering slowly and sensibly under the care of an addictions doctor is the sensible and sane thing to do.

 

Because of the advice on here I have decided to go with the doctor that will do the V taper. As I said he will only go as high as 70 mg a day for the first week. I see him on Thursday and I don't know yet how he will taper me. I called him today because I got scared thinking that 70 mg will not be enough but he refuses to go higher and he refuses to prescribe more Z (specially after how honest I was with him about my situation).

 

As to how much valium you will need in order to stabilize before you begin your taper, you will have to work very closely with the doctor on this.  Frankly, if you were on such high, high doses of the z-drug, they may be very unwilling to give you the amount of valium that this would be equivalent to.  You'll just have to work closely with them and provide them with feedback, honest feedback, on how you are doing.

 

Yes, I am and will do that.

 

If you do cross over to valium it is long acting and the tapering should be easier as a result.  Not that the withdrawal will necessarily be easier but that it is possible to do small cuts (5 to 10%) every 10 days to 2 weeks and to go to even smaller cuts or a micro-taper if this prooves to be too difficult.

 

The people for you to talk to are the Valium tapering support group here on the boards once you cross over, they will have so much more information and direct experience for you to lean on.

 

Thank you. I will post there.

 

 

I wish you the best of luck here.  I think whatever issues brought you to such a high, high dose of Sonata need to be worked through on their own.  If I were you, I would reach out for help from the addictions counsellors and possibly a 12 step group if you could find one and start to figure out what brought you to this point in your life.  I did this and it has helped me through a very difficult withdrawal.  This is not for the feint of heart, I was very ill for the 10 months i tapered and for almost 2 years in withdrawal after I jumped even though I tapered very slowly.

 

I actually am starting psychotherapy sessions around this next week once I can get through the first week of this.

 

 

I don't know if the cognitive issues - the panic, anxiety and fogginess will be helped by crossing over to Valium if you are in tolerance withdrawal at this point.  This is a tricky issue as you can also be cross tolerant to other benzos and you may find it very difficult to stabilize and that these issues will not truly start to resolve until you carefully taper and GET OFF the benzos entirely.  One thing I do know is that crossing over to a longer acting benzo and slowly, slowly tapering is the best shot you have and that COLD TURKEY is no option at all.  Ask any of the cold turkey buddies here, it can make you very, very ill for a long, long time.  Do yourself a favour, work closely and honestly with the doctor and slowly taper.

 

 

Thank you so much for all of your help I hope it's OK if I can ask you questions in the future. I am just starting this today. I am frightened and scared and terrified.

 

SeekingSanity

SeekingSanity

[[Se...]]

Trudie,

 

Absolutely, if I can help ask me.  If I can't help, I'll try to direct you to a moderator or a part of the board that can.

 

Look.  It won't be easy.  But don't be scared.  The hardest part for me was not knowing why I was so ill.  I too was in tolerance withdrawal and having daily interdose withdrawal before I figured it out.  I fortunately found a new GP who helped me determine that the z-drug was at the root of the issues and once I did, I resolved that no matter what suffering lay ahead it was better than the hell I was in.  My usage wasn't as bad as yours but I was at one point on 3 x 7.5 mg tablets, they just kept upping the dose when I hit tolerance.  I was very, very ill when I figured it out.  I wasn't abusing it though but if I was honest, early on when I was put on it I simply longed to sleep every night to escape the hell of the grief of losing my husband.  So I was vulnerable and not thinking straight and I took the doctor's advice without questioning it.  I see clearly now that I was the one who should have done the investigation and due diligence but honestly, I was in a lot of pain and couldn't sleep.  I don't blame myself but now that I know better, I CAN DO BETTER.  You can too.  You've finally been honest and have figured this out and you can do this.

 

There is lots of help here for you.  Just keep posting when you need reassurance and help.  Read the Ashton manual and go in to that doctor with your heart in your hand, promise to yourself and to them to be honest and draw the line in the sand and promise yourself that no matter how hard, you will not increase your dose, you will only hold or go down in dose.  That is what I did and I never broke that promise to myself, no matter how hard.  If you need to, you can slow the rate of taper if you hit a hard patch.  Just keep on talking to the doctor and work very hard to establish trust, no matter what.

 

Hopefully, 70 mg of Valium will be enough to start.  Valium is different in action than the z-drug and you may need some time to adjust to it.  But it is longer acting and so the decreases should be a bit easier.  When you get down to smaller amounts, you may need to hold at a level a bit longer and decrease the amount you go down but the tapering boards will help you there and the valium support group too.  You MUST work carefully with your doctor and be completely honest.

 

Please don't be scared.  There is a road out of this hell.  I promise you that it can be done even if it takes a long time and even if you have withdrawal symptoms.  My sleep, paradoxically, started to get better the minute I started my taper.

 

Please don't give up and give yourself the time and kindness to heal.  Work with your therapist.  Get out to a 12 step group and share your journey.  People are so kind and genuinely supportive here on the boards.  When I was really sick after I jumped, I came on here, too ill to post and just read and read the success stories and looked at the videos of people who had healed.  I bought the books that were available, Bliss Johns (Baylissa) and others and read the over and over too.  Hung onto their message that even the worst cases heal, it does take time.

 

My heart goes out to you but you have been very brave to reach out and tell the truth.  There is so much shame in hiding and in addiction, accidental or not.  You are not alone.  I have come out the other side and I am getting my life back and I can tell you that it was worth every symptom, every pain or sleepless night.  The days that I feel well are glorious and I know that I will have the rest of my life to savour them.  You can do this.  You are not alone.

 

I'm here.  You are in my prayers.  Stay strong.  Keep posting.  Do not be afraid.  You are on the right path now, the rest is time and good self care.

 

xoxo

Alison

[[Tr...]]

Trudie,

 

Absolutely, if I can help ask me.  If I can't help, I'll try to direct you to a moderator or a part of the board that can.

 

Thank you so much!

 

Look.  It won't be easy.  But don't be scared.  The hardest part for me was not knowing why I was so ill.  I too was in tolerance withdrawal and having daily interdose withdrawal before I figured it out.

 

I greatly appreciate you pointing this out bc I did not know what was going on with me and I am relieved to have a name for what I am going through. My doc did not point this out to me. I couldn't understand why I was so miserable i'm having all of these withdrawal symptoms while I was taking the Z Medication.

 

I fortunately found a new GP who helped me determine that the z-drug was at the root of the issues and once I did, I resolved that no matter what suffering lay ahead it was better than the hell I was in.  My usage wasn't as bad as yours but I was at one point on 3 x 7.5 mg tablets, they just kept upping the dose when I hit tolerance.  I was very, very ill when I figured it out.  I wasn't abusing it though but if I was honest, early on when I was put on it I simply longed to sleep every night to escape the hell of the grief of losing my husband.  So I was vulnerable and not thinking straight and I took the doctor's advice without questioning it.  I see clearly now that I was the one who should have done the investigation and due diligence but honestly, I was in a lot of pain and couldn't sleep.  I don't blame myself but now that I know better, I CAN DO BETTER.  You can too.  You've finally been honest and have figured this out and you can do this.

 

There is lots of help here for you.  Just keep posting when you need reassurance and help. 

 

I will ! And I have read the Ashton Manual !

 

 

Read the Ashton manual and go in to that doctor with your heart in your hand, promise to yourself and to them to be honest and draw the line in the sand and promise yourself that no matter how hard, you will not increase your dose, you will only hold or go down in dose.  That is what I did and I never broke that promise to myself, no matter how hard.  If you need to, you can slow the rate of taper if you hit a hard patch.  Just keep on talking to the doctor and work very hard to establish trust, no matter what.

 

Hopefully, 70 mg of Valium will be enough to start.  Valium is different in action than the z-drug and you may need some time to adjust to it.  But it is longer acting and so the decreases should be a bit easier.  When you get down to smaller amounts, you may need to hold at a level a bit longer and decrease the amount you go down but the tapering boards will help you there and the valium support group too.  You MUST work carefully with your doctor and be completely honest.

 

What is your opinion of adding the Z I have left to the 70mg V to make up the gap?

 

Please don't be scared.  There is a road out of this hell.  I promise you that it can be done even if it takes a long time and even if you have withdrawal symptoms.  My sleep, paradoxically, started to get better the minute I started my taper.

 

Please don't give up and give yourself the time and kindness to heal.  Work with your therapist.  Get out to a 12 step group and share your journey.  People are so kind and genuinely supportive here on the boards.  When I was really sick after I jumped, I came on here, too ill to post and just read and read the success stories and looked at the videos of people who had healed.  I bought the books that were available, Bliss Johns (Baylissa) and others and read the over and over too.  Hung onto their message that even the worst cases heal, it does take time.

 

My heart goes out to you but you have been very brave to reach out and tell the truth.  There is so much shame in hiding and in addiction, accidental or not.  You are not alone.  I have come out the other side and I am getting my life back and I can tell you that it was worth every symptom, every pain or sleepless night.  The days that I feel well are glorious and I know that I will have the rest of my life to savour them.  You can do this.  You are not alone.

 

I'm here.  You are in my prayers.  Stay strong.  Keep posting.  Do not be afraid.  You are on the right path now, the rest is time and good self care.

 

Thank you for your prayers! I appreciate them so much! You take good care as well!

xoxo

Alison

[[Se...]]

Trudie,

 

Please don't simultaneously take the z drug with the valium.  You need to be honest at this point and honesty means working scrupulously with your doctor and adhering to the plan, giving feedback when things come up.

 

Starting off your new relationship with your new doctor by secretly supplementing your benzo tapering schedule with your own remaining z drug is no way to proceed.  I don't think you are thinking clearly.

 

Honesty is key.  Please just safely dispose of the z drug once you are on the valium just to remove any temptation.

 

You may indeed have some issues trying to find the right amount of valium and it takes time for things to settle down.  But starting off this new relationship by secretly taking more sedative hypnotics, is just more of the same behaviour that landed you in this boat.

 

Forgive me if I'm coming across so strongly.  You need to talk about this with your addictions counsellor, they can help you start to look at some of the faulty thinking that landed you in such difficulties.  Trust me, the only way out of this is through honest self assessment and honest communication.  Anything else will lead you into more problems.

 

 

Alison

[[Te...]]

I agree that you need to dump the remaining z's...there have been times when the thought of 'just one night of full sleep' became an obsession that I might have given in to...

  About 5 months ago, i was cleaning out under the bed storage and found a still-sealed bottle of 90 ambien...and I honestly held it for a long time trying to rationalize that I wouldn't ,REALLY take any, but if I had it, it would 'help' just by having it. I tossed it into the commode, and have been grateful for that decision a few times since then...sleep-deprivation skews logic, and you will have those deprived moments...I ct'd without knowing there was a ct there...would NEVER have done that had I known. tex

[[Se...]]

Thanks for chiming in Texasstar, I really admire you.  Self deception and deceptive behaviour with others is no way to proceed.  That kind of faulty thinking gets you into real problems I think if you have addictive tendencies.  No secrets and honesty is key.

 

That's why I think she also needs to keep going for addictions counselling in parallel with working with the doctor.  This is never going to work otherwise.  Heck, I was "dependent" as opposed to "addicted", never once took more than prescribed and still got into problems.

 

Anyway, lecture over.  It is hard enough without lectures for sure.  Don't mean to go there.

 

 

SS

[[Tr...]]

Trudie,

 

Please don't simultaneously take the z drug with the valium.  You need to be honest at this point and honesty means working scrupulously with your doctor and adhering to the plan, giving feedback when things come up.

 

Starting off your new relationship with your new doctor by secretly supplementing your benzo tapering schedule with your own remaining z drug is no way to proceed.  I don't think you are thinking clearly.

 

Honesty is key.  Please just safely dispose of the z drug once you are on the valium just to remove any temptation.

 

You may indeed have some issues trying to find the right amount of valium and it takes time for things to settle down.  But starting off this new relationship by secretly taking more sedative hypnotics, is just more of the same behaviour that landed you in this boat.

 

Forgive me if I'm coming across so strongly.  You need to talk about this with your addictions counsellor, they can help you start to look at some of the faulty thinking that landed you in such difficulties.  Trust me, the only way out of this is through honest self assessment and honest communication.  Anything else will lead you into more problems.

 

 

Alison

 

Thank you for your response. I'm obviously not thinking clearly bc I don't sleep and I'm constantly in a panic state. My doc will only go as high as 70mg V and I was honest with him about my fear and spoke to him yesterday and he said he would not adjust it so I panicked and haven't started the V yet. I'm terrified of starting the V and terrified in general. I just feel this is horrible and I can't make a decision around anything and I don't know what to do.