FAMILY MEMBER/PARTNERS SUPPORT THREAD

[[LY...]]

Thank you for the input Pamster.  I have already cut back on the frequency of my contact with her and will continue to do that.  When I do contact her, I don't try to get her to see me or ask her questions about how she's doing.  I definitely want to keep an open channel of communication with her and want her to know that she can contact me if she needs anything.  As you know, SI can rear its ugly head at any point during this process.  I want to make sure that I'm a resource for her if that occurs.  I also recognize that I'm using that as a reason to hold on and that my main motivation is to connect with her.  The woman I have been best friends with for the past 5 years is not there at the moment.  I won her heart once already, and I plan on doing it again when she returns.

[[Pa...]]

Thank you for the input Pamster.  I have already cut back on the frequency of my contact with her and will continue to do that.  When I do contact her, I don't try to get her to see me or ask her questions about how she's doing.  I definitely want to keep an open channel of communication with her and want her to know that she can contact me if she needs anything.  As you know, SI can rear its ugly head at any point during this process.  I want to make sure that I'm a resource for her if that occurs.  I also recognize that I'm using that as a reason to hold on and that my main motivation is to connect with her.  The woman I have been best friends with for the past 5 years is not there at the moment.  I won her heart once already, and I plan on doing it again when she returns.

 

I can see a good, caring and kind person LYMTE, it sounds like you've given careful thought to this, thank you for recognizing how horrific this process is and understanding that she isn't herself right now.  I hope she comes back to you when she's ready.

[[ra...]]

raziel101,

 

It’s so lovely that your mother has you supporting her through this traumatic time.

Just wondering, does she HAVE to withdraw completely from the benzos? I ask, because it is obviously causing her so much distress and terror. Or, could she do an incredibly slow taper?

I am 67 and have only just survived my tapering journey. I feel for her.

Forgive me if I have misunderstood the situation.

My very best wishes to you and your mother.

Hardy.

 

Hi Hardy

 

The Benzo causes so much depression - even the SSRI she is on doesn’t work now. She is very scared to go back on her original 1mg dose because we don’t know if it will even work (her current .5 mg reinstatement dose is so far not helping). This drug is so unpredictable.

 

She successfully tapered if the Benzo after 2 years but continued to have withdrawn symptoms for 3 years. After the recent SSRI switch earlier this year and then going back on the benzo for 3 weeks in May, her withdrawal symptoms are even worse.

 

I’m so happy to hear you finished your taper journey.

[[Ha...]]

Oh I see now why it’s so important for your Mum to be rid of the benzos. I’m so glad she’s got you to support her through this horrid journey.

Others in a similar situation have updosed and tapered from there but I see why you would want your Mum off as soon as possible.

If your mum would like connection with another older woman (me) please drop me a PM.

Before I realised that it was the benzos causing the depression I was put on 2 antidepressants. The Mirtazapine has really helped with getting good sleep during withdrawal and also now.

Please give your Mum my best wishes and to you too.

Hardy x

[[ra...]]

Oh I see now why it’s so important for your Mum to be rid of the benzos. I’m so glad she’s got you to support her through this horrid journey.

Others in a similar situation have updosed and tapered from there but I see why you would want your Mum off as soon as possible.

If your mum would like connection with another older woman (me) please drop me a PM.

Before I realised that it was the benzos causing the depression I was put on 2 antidepressants. The Mirtazapine has really helped with getting good sleep during withdrawal and also now.

Please give your Mum my best wishes and to you too.

Hardy x

 

I will pass that note to her. She cannot listen to music, look at her phone or even talk to anyone on the phone because the anxiety is so high she cannot focus on those things but if/when she does get a bit stronger, I will let her know. Thank you very much.

[[LY...]]

Thank you for the input Pamster.  I have already cut back on the frequency of my contact with her and will continue to do that.  When I do contact her, I don't try to get her to see me or ask her questions about how she's doing.  I definitely want to keep an open channel of communication with her and want her to know that she can contact me if she needs anything.  As you know, SI can rear its ugly head at any point during this process.  I want to make sure that I'm a resource for her if that occurs.  I also recognize that I'm using that as a reason to hold on and that my main motivation is to connect with her.  The woman I have been best friends with for the past 5 years is not there at the moment.  I won her heart once already, and I plan on doing it again when she returns.

 

I can see a good, caring and kind person LYMTE, it sounds like you've given careful thought to this, thank you for recognizing how horrific this process is and understanding that she isn't herself right now.  I hope she comes back to you when she's ready.

 

 

I just accidentally ran into her and her kids at the grocery store.  She gave me a stiff hug and kiss on the cheek. She was visibly nervous as I spoke to the boys.  After a quick exchange, she walked away as if she couldn't wait to get away from me.  She probably couldn't.  I'm not sure what to do.  My first thought is to message her and ask her if she would share with me what she was feeling.  My second thought is to do nothing and completely leave her alone.  She looks so much better than she did the last time that I ran into her at the grocery store at the beginning of August which is comforting and confusing at the same time.  We have been best friends for 5 years and dated for 1 year of that 5 years.  This is the craziest situation I have ever encountered in my life.  We were so happy at the end of May before she discontinued klonopin.  Really, Really, Really happy!  Crazy in love!  I'm so sad about this.  I can't believe this is happening!!

 

Edit: Fixed quote

 

[[Pa...]]

Thank you for the input Pamster.  I have already cut back on the frequency of my contact with her and will continue to do that.  When I do contact her, I don't try to get her to see me or ask her questions about how she's doing.  I definitely want to keep an open channel of communication with her and want her to know that she can contact me if she needs anything.  As you know, SI can rear its ugly head at any point during this process.  I want to make sure that I'm a resource for her if that occurs.  I also recognize that I'm using that as a reason to hold on and that my main motivation is to connect with her.  The woman I have been best friends with for the past 5 years is not there at the moment.  I won her heart once already, and I plan on doing it again when she returns.

 

I can see a good, caring and kind person LYMTE, it sounds like you've given careful thought to this, thank you for recognizing how horrific this process is and understanding that she isn't herself right now.  I hope she comes back to you when she's ready.

 

 

I just accidentally ran into her and her kids at the grocery store.  She gave me a stiff hug and kiss on the cheek. She was visibly nervous as I spoke to the boys.  After a quick exchange, she walked away as if she couldn't wait to get away from me.  She probably couldn't.  I'm not sure what to do.  My first thought is to message her and ask her if she would share with me what she was feeling.  My second thought is to do nothing and completely leave her alone.  She looks so much better than she did the last time that I ran into her at the grocery store at the beginning of August which is comforting and confusing at the same time.  We have been best friends for 5 years and dated for 1 year of that 5 years.  This is the craziest situation I have ever encountered in my life.  We were so happy at the end of May before she discontinued klonopin.  Really, Really, Really happy!  Crazy in love!  I'm so sad about this.  I can't believe this is happening!!

 

Edit: Fixed quote

 

I'm happy to hear she was looking better, but the thing is, we can look perfectly normal on the outside but still be in torment on the inside.  I can almost feel her nervousness when she ran into you, I remember well how difficult it was to be around people.  I couldn't form my words very well, I also didn't know where to look when I spoke to someone, I've always been comfortable looking people in the eyes but it wasn't possible when I was going through this, I'm not sure why. 

 

She's not herself right now, in fact she has no idea who she is and its really scary to not feel that connection.  Even looking in the mirror is disconcerting, we're strangers to ourselves.  She's probably dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts, when that happens we beat ourselves up for all of our poor decisions so we feel exposed and fragile. 

 

I know this situation is hard for you but I can tell you she's dealing with much more than her feelings for you so if you can, please choose the second option and not contact her.  She knows you support her, she knows you love her and when she's ready hopefully she'll reach out. 

[[LY...]]

I did send her a message that said "Nice seeing you at the store.  You looked beautiful."  She replied, "Sorry I have not been open and pretty much took off.  Not my best.  I left the house praying that I wouldn't see anyone."  So, you're right about her dealing with things far more than her feelings about me.  I replied "it's ok.  I'll be ready to see you whenever you're open."  I'll be leaving her alone as you suggested now.  I'm comforted in the fact that it has nothing to do with me and that I'm not reading this wrong.  It was also nice to see that her physical appearance was significantly better than the last time I saw her.  Last time she looked so tired and had no spark at all in her eyes.  This time, there was a little bit of a spark and she didn't look as tired. I'll take that as progress.  Hoping that month 4 will bring some brighter days for her, but I'm prepared to stick around as long as it takes....Silently  ...She's amazing and I'm so lucky that I found her!  All my future plans include her, so....

[[Pa...]]

I did send her a message that said "Nice seeing you at the store.  You looked beautiful."  She replied, "Sorry I have not been open and pretty much took off.  Not my best.  I left the house praying that I wouldn't see anyone."  So, you're right about her dealing with things far more than her feelings about me.  I replied "it's ok.  I'll be ready to see you whenever you're open."  I'll be leaving her alone as you suggested now.  I'm comforted in the fact that it has nothing to do with me and that I'm not reading this wrong.  It was also nice to see that her physical appearance was significantly better than the last time I saw her.  Last time she looked so tired and had no spark at all in her eyes.  This time, there was a little bit of a spark and she didn't look as tired. I'll take that as progress.  Hoping that month 4 will bring some brighter days for her, but I'm prepared to stick around as long as it takes....Silently  ...She's amazing and I'm so lucky that I found her!  All my future plans include her, so....

 

I'm glad you feel better, and understand where she's at right now.  Your patience will pay off but it will be tested further, month 4 is typically pretty rough, how long was she on the Klonopin, that might help us figure out how long she's going to suffer. 

[[LY...]]

She was on 1mg daily for a year and then cut back to .5 for another year or so because she wanted to stop taking it.  So, all total between 2 and 3 years somewhere.

[[Pa...]]

She was on 1mg daily for a year and then cut back to .5 for another year or so because she wanted to stop taking it.  So, all total between 2 and 3 years somewhere.

 

Typical recovery for long term use seems to be between 1 and 2 years just to give you a general idea.  This doesn't mean she'll feel this bad the whole time, her symptoms should gradually reduce in intensity so hopefully she'll start to reach out when things begin to lighten up for her.

[[LY...]]

I hope that things lighten up for her soon.  Of course, I want her back in my life, but I hate to see her like this.  One of her best traits is her sense of humor.  I don't remember ever laughing with anyone as I did with her.  That's why I wanted to start dating her.  She's beautiful too, but her personality and sense of humor made her even more beautiful to me.  I'm going to keep hoping that month 4 will be better.  If it's not, then I'll hope that month 5 is better and repeat! 

[[LY...]]

She was on 1mg daily for a year and then cut back to .5 for another year or so because she wanted to stop taking it.  So, all total between 2 and 3 years somewhere.

 

Typical recovery for long term use seems to be between 1 and 2 years just to give you a general idea.  This doesn't mean she'll feel this bad the whole time, her symptoms should gradually reduce in intensity so hopefully she'll start to reach out when things begin to lighten up for her.

 

I live in SW Florida and we had a hurricane come through this past week.  My girlfriend and I communicated more than usual via text before the storm.  My power stayed on throughout the storm, but hers did not.  We also lost cell service.  I stopped by her house in the morning following the storm to check on her and she was extremely nervous, but welcoming none the less.  As soon as I walked into her home, she started "doing things" while talking with me and did not make eye contact.  She calmed down after a few minutes.  Long story short, I was able to spend about 4 hours with her face to face over the past few days.  I didn't bring up anything about her symptoms, but she did at one point and we spoke about it briefly.  I tried to keep things as vanilla as possible.  Based on her description, she has anxiety, dp/dr, and anhedonia.  I assured her that it would go away in time.  She is still not 100% convinced that it is from the k, but she didn't really care.  She's just doing what she needs to do to get through each day.  I can also tell that she gets overwhelmed very, very easily. 

 

I could tell that she was going through the motions for the most part while I was around, but I was just happy that she let me be around.  I got a chance to tell her that I loved her to her face.  Also got to hug her and kiss her on the cheek which was so nice.  I'm very encouraged!  I know 100% now that I was right about what was going on and that it has nothing to do with me.  It was a huge relief! 

 

Lastly, She apologized for the grocery store incident and said that she beat herself up for it.  Just like you said she would.  I told her not to worry about it, I completely understand and she shouldn't ever think abou it again! 

 

Baby steps....We are in month 5 now.  I'm cautiously optimistic!  I love her so much! 

 

Thank you again.

[[Pa...]]

She was on 1mg daily for a year and then cut back to .5 for another year or so because she wanted to stop taking it.  So, all total between 2 and 3 years somewhere.

 

Typical recovery for long term use seems to be between 1 and 2 years just to give you a general idea.  This doesn't mean she'll feel this bad the whole time, her symptoms should gradually reduce in intensity so hopefully she'll start to reach out when things begin to lighten up for her.

 

I live in SW Florida and we had a hurricane come through this past week.  My girlfriend and I communicated more than usual via text before the storm.  My power stayed on throughout the storm, but hers did not.  We also lost cell service.  I stopped by her house in the morning following the storm to check on her and she was extremely nervous, but welcoming none the less.  As soon as I walked into her home, she started "doing things" while talking with me and did not make eye contact.  She calmed down after a few minutes.  Long story short, I was able to spend about 4 hours with her face to face over the past few days.  I didn't bring up anything about her symptoms, but she did at one point and we spoke about it briefly.  I tried to keep things as vanilla as possible.  Based on her description, she has anxiety, dp/dr, and anhedonia.  I assured her that it would go away in time.  She is still not 100% convinced that it is from the k, but she didn't really care.  She's just doing what she needs to do to get through each day.  I can also tell that she gets overwhelmed very, very easily. 

 

I could tell that she was going through the motions for the most part while I was around, but I was just happy that she let me be around.  I got a chance to tell her that I loved her to her face.  Also got to hug her and kiss her on the cheek which was so nice.  I'm very encouraged!  I know 100% now that I was right about what was going on and that it has nothing to do with me.  It was a huge relief! 

 

Lastly, She apologized for the grocery store incident and said that she beat herself up for it.  Just like you said she would.  I told her not to worry about it, I completely understand and she shouldn't ever think abou it again! 

 

Baby steps....We are in month 5 now.  I'm cautiously optimistic!  I love her so much! 

 

Thank you again.

 

It sounds like you did everything just right, I'm so glad she let you into her life for a bit.  Its so good you've educated yourself about this process and could let her know she can recover even though the drug won't let her believe its true.  Thank you for letting us know how she's doing, and I'm thankful you're both okay, I've been watching coverage of the storm and its aftermath, horrific!

[[LY...]]

She was on 1mg daily for a year and then cut back to .5 for another year or so because she wanted to stop taking it.  So, all total between 2 and 3 years somewhere.

 

Typical recovery for long term use seems to be between 1 and 2 years just to give you a general idea.  This doesn't mean she'll feel this bad the whole time, her symptoms should gradually reduce in intensity so hopefully she'll start to reach out when things begin to lighten up for her.

 

I live in SW Florida and we had a hurricane come through this past week.  My girlfriend and I communicated more than usual via text before the storm.  My power stayed on throughout the storm, but hers did not.  We also lost cell service.  I stopped by her house in the morning following the storm to check on her and she was extremely nervous, but welcoming none the less.  As soon as I walked into her home, she started "doing things" while talking with me and did not make eye contact.  She calmed down after a few minutes.  Long story short, I was able to spend about 4 hours with her face to face over the past few days.  I didn't bring up anything about her symptoms, but she did at one point and we spoke about it briefly.  I tried to keep things as vanilla as possible.  Based on her description, she has anxiety, dp/dr, and anhedonia.  I assured her that it would go away in time.  She is still not 100% convinced that it is from the k, but she didn't really care.  She's just doing what she needs to do to get through each day.  I can also tell that she gets overwhelmed very, very easily. 

 

I could tell that she was going through the motions for the most part while I was around, but I was just happy that she let me be around.  I got a chance to tell her that I loved her to her face.  Also got to hug her and kiss her on the cheek which was so nice.  I'm very encouraged!  I know 100% now that I was right about what was going on and that it has nothing to do with me.  It was a huge relief! 

 

Lastly, She apologized for the grocery store incident and said that she beat herself up for it.  Just like you said she would.  I told her not to worry about it, I completely understand and she shouldn't ever think abou it again! 

 

Baby steps....We are in month 5 now.  I'm cautiously optimistic!  I love her so much! 

 

Thank you again.

 

It sounds like you did everything just right, I'm so glad she let you into her life for a bit.  Its so good you've educated yourself about this process and could let her know she can recover even though the drug won't let her believe its true.  Thank you for letting us know how she's doing, and I'm thankful you're both okay, I've been watching coverage of the storm and its aftermath, horrific!

 

The worst of the storm was an hour to 2 hours away, so we had it fairly easy in comparison.  I'm responding with good news!  Last Friday she took her sons to sunset on the beach and on Saturday, we exchanged text messages more than usual and she actually cracked a joke and used some emojis!  Then today, she had at least 20 lines in a reply text to me that included emojis and she even exchanged back and forth for a bit.  Up until these recent developments it has been three or four words in response with no emojis or humor.  This is a HUGE improvement!!!  We are nowhere close to the way things were, but I am encouraged that she is healing.  I am also tempering my excitement with the realization that this could be a short window with a lot more of the same in the future.  For now, I am enjoying it!!!  I love her so much!!  I wouldn't be here without the help of you and this community.  Without all of you, I wouldn't have understood what was going on and would have driven her further away, or just thought I was being blown off and moved on.  Heartbroken, but on with my life.  Thank you!

[[Pa...]]

You're very welcome LYMTE but its you who took the initiative to educate yourself so you could better understand what she's going through and I'm very impressed you understand she may just be in a window right now because of the non-linear nature of recovery.  You're showing great restraint and I'm sure she appreciates it, I hope she continues to improve and allows you into her life, baby steps, right?

[[Bo...]]

Sorry if this has been posted before but hopefully it can be of some guidance. Thank you to all of the supporters in this, y’all are vital to your loved one coming out the other side which does happen!!! This mentions a parent and child but it really can be any dynamic.

 

https://www.benzoinfo.com/2022/12/05/supporting-an-adult-child-in-benzo-withdrawal/

[[LY...]]

You're very welcome LYMTE but its you who took the initiative to educate yourself so you could better understand what she's going through and I'm very impressed you understand she may just be in a window right now because of the non-linear nature of recovery.  You're showing great restraint and I'm sure she appreciates it, I hope she continues to improve and allows you into her life, baby steps, right?

 

Figured I'd check in and do an update.  My girlfriend met me for lunch on December 2nd and we spent a couple of hours together.  She is approximately 6 months off her last dose of Klonopin.  Since she actually agreed to meet with me and she also hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.  I will take this as progress and proof that she cares very deeply for me.  The person who showed up looked like my girlfriend and showed glimpses of her personality, but was very different.  She had a "problem for every solution".  Very negative.  She told me that she didn't like the positive posts that I post on Instagram.  That they were too positive.  I post one positive quote per day for myself because this has been a struggle for me too. I explained that to her.  She also told me that every time she brings up a symptom she is struggling with, it makes her angry when I tell her that I think that it's from the benzo.  I'm only telling her the truth.  I don't nag her about anything and only mention it when she comes to me about a symptom.  I also asked her if she mentioned it to the naturopath that she is seeing.  She said that really made her angry.  Before all this happened, I went to her appointments with her and I still pay for all of her consultations and tests.  I'm only mentioning this as a point of reference.  I don't feel "entitled" to anything since I am paying for it and only asked when she was telling me about how her last appointment went.  Anyway, I have been giving her a ton of space.  No contact whatsoever except for letting her know when the cleaning lady is coming by to clean her house.  Long story short, I was encouraged by the fact that she met me and the fact that she did smile and laugh a little during lunch.  I have not had any contact with her since.  Her mom is in town and staying with her now.  Her mom texts me every few days to say hi.  I keep it brief with her and don't say anything like "I'll see you soon."  Honestly, I don't know what to say really.  Lastly, after being around her, she probably has some benzo rage going on right now along with everything else.  I stayed very calm and nice during our lunch.  Thanked her for making the time to see me.  I told her that "whatever this is" (since she doesn't like to hear that it's benzo related) will pass and that I will support her in any way she sees fit during this process.  Honestly, I'm tired.  I was married to a woman that was angry all the time and I had to walk on eggshells constantly.  This feels a lot like that, so I get triggered and frustrated more than I would like to admit.  Staying away from each other is probably the best thing for us both.  I continue to remind myself that my girlfriend can't help it.  If she could, she would choose differntly.  Shitty, difficult road to walk!! 

[[Pa...]]

I'm glad you stopped in, and thanks for letting us see a little of you too, I hope you're finding time to take care of yourself.  It looks like its difficult to do the 'right thing' whatever that is when you're with her, that walking on eggshells is a terrible way to live, I had a relationship like that too.

 

Benzo rage is fairly common, I didn't have it but I'm glad you can recognize it and realize its not personal, even though it feels like it is.  I'm encouraged her mother is in contact with you, but you're smart to create some distance for now, being slightly out of reach to your girlfriend may tempt her to take a few steps in your direction, we're strange that way. 

[[LY...]]

I'm glad you stopped in, and thanks for letting us see a little of you too, I hope you're finding time to take care of yourself.  It looks like its difficult to do the 'right thing' whatever that is when you're with her, that walking on eggshells is a terrible way to live, I had a relationship like that too.

 

Benzo rage is fairly common, I didn't have it but I'm glad you can recognize it and realize its not personal, even though it feels like it is.  I'm encouraged her mother is in contact with you, but you're smart to create some distance for now, being slightly out of reach to your girlfriend may tempt her to take a few steps in your direction, we're strange that way. 

 

Thank you for replying!  Your comment made me feel better.  It's very difficult not to take it personally, but I'm proud of the way that I handled things when we were together.  I was very calm and didn't take anything personally.  She did thank me for supporting her by sending a cleaning lady every other week, lawn service weekly, and the healthcare.  I'm glad that she feels supported that way because right now, my presence and words of affirmation make her feel the opposite.  She mentioned a couple of times that "expectations make her feel pressure" and cause her to "retract".  I haven't had any expectations at all, but I suspect that she thinks that I expect her to act a certain way when we communicate or see each other and that makes her feel pressure.  I don't know.  I do know that her CNS is not working properly and she is not thinking clearly for sure!  I've been working out, running, and eating healthy.  I'm going to be a better version of myself when she does return.  I was hoping that she would be the type that recovers in 6 months, but.....

 

Thank you again.

[[Ta...]]

Hi all, I'm new here. I'm been a caregiver for my mom going through benzo withdrawal for 30+ months. She is on her 23rd month since getting off now. My dad and I help each other with 24/7 caregiving duties while my brother can't handle the situation and kind of checked out. Reading some previous posts, I could relate how stressful a time it is for all involved. My mom still has lot of symptoms and it's easy for her to be impatient, raise her voice and feel sad. The recovery is also very demanding. It takes a lot of grace, patience and understanding on our end. Sometimes I have to gently remind my mom to stay calm, positive and that she could get what she wants without raising her voice. Sometimes this doesn't work but unconditional love sees us through. The hope is that one day she will be back to normal and this is just a season of life.

[[Pa...]]

Hi all, I'm new here. I'm been a caregiver for my mom going through benzo withdrawal for 30+ months. She is on her 23rd month since getting off now. My dad and I help each other with 24/7 caregiving duties while my brother can't handle the situation and kind of checked out. Reading some previous posts, I could relate how stressful a time it is for all involved. My mom still has lot of symptoms and it's easy for her to be impatient, raise her voice and feel sad. The recovery is also very demanding. It takes a lot of grace, patience and understanding on our end. Sometimes I have to gently remind my mom to stay calm, positive and that she could get what she wants without raising her voice. Sometimes this doesn't work but unconditional love sees us through. The hope is that one day she will be back to normal and this is just a season of life.

 

You’re wonderful, thank you for taking care of your mom, we know its not easy.  I’m glad your dad is helping out too, this is a heavy load to carry. 

 

Full recovery is wonderful and I can’t wait for your mom, the one you’ve known all of your life to show up and she will.  My daughter never lost hope either so please just keep doing what you’re doing, but be sure to take care of you, this process is hard on everyone.

[[Ta...]]

Gosh, today was one of the hardest days. After a seemingly peaceful morning I believe mom got discouraged by symptoms and started breaking down. She was complaining about heavy DPDR, dizziness, distended stomach and abdominal pain the entire day non-step. The family and even a friend who had made it through benzo withdrawal tried to comfort her the whole day but to no avail. She couldn't accept it to stay calm and was afraid to try some of the ideas to experiment with her routine to alleviate the wave.  Sometimes I feel we have to just watch her suffer and heal in time/wait for windows, or pray for a better day tomorrow. A good thought is that we are moving forward everyday. It's terrible because we live in a small apartment where you could hear everything and rental prices in our area are too high to get a more spacious/peaceful living situation. She also wanted my dad take care of her during Christmas so he wasn't able to spend it with family.

[[Pa...]]

Sometimes we can’t be comforted when the pain is too great.  I’m not talking about physical pain either, I’m talking about the mental hopelessness that won’t let us hope, that tells us we’re never going to recover.  If the fear would leave, we could handle the aches and pains but the combination of physical pain and discomfort along with the emotional and mental pain leave us defenseless with no coping skills.

 

I know how difficult it is to watch someone suffer, you feel their pain and living in a small space allows you no escape, I’m so sorry.  Are you getting out and taking care of you? 

 

Hopefully this wave will pass and you’ll all get some relief.

[[Ta...]]

Thank you for your kindness, Pamster. Yeah, there is an emotional side of the battle as well. What helps today is reading mom some success stories and keeping her busy. I was not a talkative person before but I am these days just to get my mom focused on something else lol.

 

I am personally getting out to refresh and reflect on things. My dad, however, does terrible at this. I will encourage him to do so. We will hang in there!