Positivity Pledge. Please join me if you want !

[[An...]]

Hi Chantillie and Hope

 

This positivity definitely working!

 

No symptoms today 

 

Long day by train in snowy UK, 6 hours round trip but home now and still fine!

 

I can't believe the change in me.

 

Keep it up.

 

Luv

Angel xx

[[ho...]]

OH How wonderful for you Angel!!! Blessings on you!!! 

 

So tell us some of the things that you are thinking now that are helping you.  How have you changed your thought process to be more positive? 

 

I am also doing better with my attitude, but I think it is because my sx have let up  -- perhaps I'm in a window.  I know that no matter how hard I tried to be positive last month I was bad.  sx were very bad and it was hard to keep hope alive. 

 

Now I feel like I'm in a fairly nice place between hell and well!!  I could stay here happily until I heal completely.  I'm probably about 50% of where I need to be to live my life fully.  But the sx are so much better I am content to wait this time out.  I just don't want another wave to hit me hard; so I'm trying to be realistic about where I am and what I might still experience.  It is the not knowing that is a bit terrifying -- don't you agree?

[[ch...]]

Hello all!

 

Hope - You have really hit a chord with me when you said your mornings arent as great when you seem to sleep better. Do you mean you wake up somehow feeling kind of worse? Because this is EXACTLY what has been going through my mind for the pastfew days! (And was feeling rather alone in this somehow) Somehow I sleep longer but I don't feel as rested?

Still though, I'm happy to say that my sleep duration is increasing overtime, even if it isn't the best restorative sleep. So yes, it is glorious to me! Sometimes I think that the "groggyness" or "unrested" feeling should be an indicator that my mind is healing (sending out signals that make sense to me) because I used to wake up in a panic, wide awake, despite sleeping maybe 1-2 hours! I also suspect that it's a sign of healing

 

I'm also happy to hear about your sx lessening as of this moment. Although I know sx is a very real thing, I think that being positive indeed helps. Sometimes it doesn't mean lessening the pain or agony, but it certainly does help to make the day easier to pass by. On other days when the sx isn't so bad, being positive helps so much. To me, the positive attitude on those days is the marking indicator as to whether or not I'll feel better or worse. If I let the annoying sx get to me, I'm almost for certain going to feel worse. If I don't, then they seem to lessen, and sometimes I even feel, dare I say..normal?  Almost.

 

Angel - So happy for you for having no symptoms, even while being tested by the long train ride! I hope that it continues to stay this way for you 

 

Keep going both of you! I'm still cheering on all of us from where I am 

 

My update...

I have to admit I slipped up a bit last night. Had a fight with my boyfriend and it was not pleasant at all. We managed to work it out (to be fair, HE managed to work it out for the both of us. I was experiencing some w/d yesterday and the fight caused me to start having anxiety through the roof and my head was starting to pound. could not deal with the situation properly) but I was left with a pretty bad feeling that I couldn't shake through the night. On the positive side, it didn't keep me up at night and I did manage to sleep. Waking up this morning has been hard because I don't feel rested at all, but I'm keeping with the positivity pledge and letting go of whats happened.

 

Going to do some yoga today and practice some meditation Get a little bit of time in the sun. Can't take much of a walk though because the weather is so icey cold at the moment. hope it warms up a tiny bit soon!

 

 

[[ho...]]

Hi Chantillie --- Sorry about your fight with bf...  Good guy to resolve it.  Someone wrote about how important it is to keep stress levels low during recovery as the stress induced adrenalin makes sx worse -- your story is an example of that I think. 

 

Yes that "toxic sleep" is a weird recovery thing.  Some mornings have been so bad I had to have my hubby help me out of bed and to the BR and stay with me until I felt OK.  I haven't had it that bad in a while; but have only had one day that I felt good getting up in the morning -- that was last Tuesday!  Now it is just a spacey feeling that I can live with.  I do think like you that it is from all the healing that has occurred during better, healing sleep.  So a good sign!

 

Enjoy your day!

[[An...]]

OH How wonderful for you Angel!!! Blessings on you!!! 

 

So tell us some of the things that you are thinking now that are helping you.  How have you changed your thought process to be more positive? 

 

I am also doing better with my attitude, but I think it is because my sx have let up  -- perhaps I'm in a window.  I know that no matter how hard I tried to be positive last month I was bad.  sx were very bad and it was hard to keep hope alive. 

 

Now I feel like I'm in a fairly nice place between hell and well!!  I could stay here happily until I heal completely.  I'm probably about 50% of where I need to be to live my life fully.  But the sx are so much better I am content to wait this time out.  I just don't want another wave to hit me hard; so I'm trying to be realistic about where I am and what I might still experience.  It is the not knowing that is a bit terrifying -- don't you agree?

 

Yes I agree that the not knowing is a terrifying because no matter how many people tell you you are going to heal, you don't believe them do you?

 

I don't think you can heal yourself with positivity but it does make the symptoms more tolerable.  They say healing takes place between 6 - 18 months on average which doesn't necessarily mean you are going to suffer all the time - some symptoms will drop off, they may be replaced by others but the longer you are off, the weaker the remaining symptoms are.

 

Most of my symptoms have dropped off already although, like you, this could be a nice window but it's easier not to worry about it than in the earlier stages when I was a bit of a worry-wart.  Now I truly believe I am going to be okay and am living a normal life.  I am over 9 months off after all and it seems to have taken an eternity.

 

Don't be concerned if you do get another wave, just let it all ride over you and know you are going to be okay.

 

Best

Angel xx

[[An...]]

Hello all!

 

Hope - You have really hit a chord with me when you said your mornings arent as great when you seem to sleep better. Do you mean you wake up somehow feeling kind of worse? Because this is EXACTLY what has been going through my mind for the pastfew days! (And was feeling rather alone in this somehow) Somehow I sleep longer but I don't feel as rested?

Still though, I'm happy to say that my sleep duration is increasing overtime, even if it isn't the best restorative sleep. So yes, it is glorious to me! Sometimes I think that the "groggyness" or "unrested" feeling should be an indicator that my mind is healing (sending out signals that make sense to me) because I used to wake up in a panic, wide awake, despite sleeping maybe 1-2 hours! I also suspect that it's a sign of healing

 

I'm also happy to hear about your sx lessening as of this moment. Although I know sx is a very real thing, I think that being positive indeed helps. Sometimes it doesn't mean lessening the pain or agony, but it certainly does help to make the day easier to pass by. On other days when the sx isn't so bad, being positive helps so much. To me, the positive attitude on those days is the marking indicator as to whether or not I'll feel better or worse. If I let the annoying sx get to me, I'm almost for certain going to feel worse. If I don't, then they seem to lessen, and sometimes I even feel, dare I say..normal?  Almost.

 

Angel - So happy for you for having no symptoms, even while being tested by the long train ride! I hope that it continues to stay this way for you 

 

Keep going both of you! I'm still cheering on all of us from where I am 

 

My update...

I have to admit I slipped up a bit last night. Had a fight with my boyfriend and it was not pleasant at all. We managed to work it out (to be fair, HE managed to work it out for the both of us. I was experiencing some w/d yesterday and the fight caused me to start having anxiety through the roof and my head was starting to pound. could not deal with the situation properly) but I was left with a pretty bad feeling that I couldn't shake through the night. On the positive side, it didn't keep me up at night and I did manage to sleep. Waking up this morning has been hard because I don't feel rested at all, but I'm keeping with the positivity pledge and letting go of whats happened.

 

Going to do some yoga today and practice some meditation Get a little bit of time in the sun. Can't take much of a walk though because the weather is so icey cold at the moment. hope it warms up a tiny bit soon!

 

Loving your attitude Chantillie!!  You will be fine

 

Angel xx

[[An...]]

Hi positive peeps.  How's it going?

 

Apart from some morning anxiety, hot flushes and pins and needles in my hands, it's been another good positive day.

 

When anyone asks how I am I tell them I feel well instead of launching into the whole benzo saga.  I find if I tell them that, I actually feel well.  It's amazing.

 

Anyone else want to join this group?

[[Be...]]

I agree about keeping responses superficial with all but the closest of friends or family, and even then, it doesn't really seem to do much good to "unload" complaints.  BTW, did you know that it is impossible to cry if your face is smiling?  And that just forcing yourself to smile will make you feel better?  It's a physiological thing, I guess.  Rather than think of it as a phony smile, I think of it as my change my mood for the better smile. 

[[ho...]]

I agree about keeping responses superficial with all but the closest of friends or family, and even then, it doesn't really seem to do much good to "unload" complaints.  BTW, did you know that it is impossible to cry if your face is smiling?  And that just forcing yourself to smile will make you feel better?  It's a physiological thing, I guess.  Rather than think of it as a phony smile, I think of it as my change my mood for the better smile. 

 

Thanks for that Beeper!  I try singing my theme song "put on a happy face" while the tears flow.  Sometimes it helps.  Sometimes though it just makes me sadder that I'm suffering so much. 

[[An...]]

{{{{Hope}}}}

 

You are obviously in a nasty wave.  At 3 months I was a nervous quivering wreck too.  Don't worry, it is normal.  It does get better, honestly it does, even though right now you may not believe it.

 

I wish I could make it better for you but unfortunately you have to wait it out.  It is just TIME TIME and TIME.  But you will have better days .. and then maybe some worse ones .... and then the better days outnumber the worse ones and the symprtoms are merely a nuisance, the stage I am at now. 

 

So be patient and believe you are going to get well because you will.

 

Much love

Angel xx

 

[[ho...]]

Thanks Angel.

 

I'm feeling like a caged bird.  I feel so much better than I did, but not well enough to get out and live life yet. 

 

I would love to go to a little consignment store that is across town, but can't yet.  I'm too afraid to be that far from home by myself.  All friends/family are working.

 

I would love to go to the rink and skate a bit.  I may push myself to do that today.  It is much closer to home.  But again am afraid to be on the ice without someone there who understands just in case some sx hits.  What -- I don't know. 

 

I know logically that I can do these things.  I just can't yet. 

 

Does this make sense?

[[An...]]

Yes I get you totally.

 

The first few months really are a bit hairy.  I hated being left on my own during that time and nearly freaked out when my husband went away on business - in fact, someone had to stay with me.  We have a dog and even though I felt like hell at times, he never missed his 2 walks a day.  I felt better afterwards as it gets the endorphins going.

 

Also I needed to fly to see my mother in the UK and just couldn't do it till I was about 6 months off.  I just had to accept that I wasn't up to it - it's the drugs that do this to you.  Also was sensitive to any stress during the first months, so try and be in a calm environment whilst you heal.

 

Saying that, I still managed to live life and went out and sometimes felt really good.  I usually felt better in the evenings.

 

6 months wasn't a magic number for me, I was in a wave but at about 7 1/2 months had a brilliant 2 week window, then a couple of crashes and now in my 9th month, have just come out of a long wave and feeling much better.

 

Just think, you are really going to enjoy your summer!

 

Take care

Angel xx

[[wy...]]

Consider me on board with this! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. A majority of these symptoms may not pass for MONTHS more, even another year. I refuse to live this way until things pass. I have to see this as a test of sorts. A test to see if I can overcome the odds and do good in spite of them. I believe once that lesson is learned, that things will swing back up to the better. We never go through things for no reason. There's always a lesson to be learned.

 

I make the positivity pledge.

[[An...]]

Consider me on board with this! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. A majority of these symptoms may not pass for MONTHS more, even another year. I refuse to live this way until things pass. I have to see this as a test of sorts. A test to see if I can overcome the odds and do good in spite of them. I believe once that lesson is learned, that things will swing back up to the better. We never go through things for no reason. There's always a lesson to be learned.

 

I make the positivity pledge.

 

Welcome to the Positivity Club Wylidas and thank you for taking the Positivity Pledge.

 

You are sooo right in what you say.  That is how we all feel. 

 

What you write should be our motto perhaps:

 

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED.  I REFUSE TO LIVE THIS WAY UNTIL THINGS PASS. I HAVE TOSEE THIS AS A TEST OF SORTS.  A TEST TO SEE IF I CAN OVERCOME THE ODDS AND DO GOOD IN SPITE OF THEM

 

It really is incredible what a change in attitude can do. 

 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go live your life!

 

Anyone else want to take the Positivity Pledge?

 

Angel

[[mi...]]

I DO.

 

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING SORRY FOR MY SELF.

 

I AM SICK OF MAKING MY FAMILY FEEL BAD FOR ME.

 

I AM GETTING BETTER AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

 

I WILL SMILE.

 

THERE IS NOTHING I AM NOT CAPABLE OF DOING.

[[An...]]

I DO.

 

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING SORRY FOR MY SELF.

 

I AM SICK OF MAKING MY FAMILY FEEL BAD FOR ME.

 

I AM GETTING BETTER AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

 

I WILL SMILE.

 

THERE IS NOTHING I AM NOT CAPABLE OF DOING.

 

Welcome Milan  :yippee:

[[ho...]]

Just think, you are really going to enjoy your summer!

 

Hi Angel --- Thanks....  I am so looking forward to summer.  As the daylight gets longer my hope gets stronger!! 

 

Welcome Milan and Wylidas! 

[[ho...]]

Good Morning Peeps!!  This is going to be a great day.  I can just feel it!! 

I had a good night.  Best in a while.  Broken sleep, but slept 8+.  Woke feeling good.  No spacey, no other sx, just good.

 

Yeah. 

 

Hope to hear that each of you has a good day today -- and if not a good one, then the best possible!!

 

XOX

[[ch...]]

Welcome wylidas and milan!

 

I felt so ill and so depressed upon waking today, I think today was definitely one of my worst, but I said NO. NO. I WILL NOT DO THIS. I will not lay in bed any longer and let myself ROT like this. I will not lay here and set off a million negative thoughts in my head. I am so much more than this. Life is so much more than this. I can't let poor sleep take over my entire life. I can't keep letting it chain me to my bedroom. I know its important to sleep but so are so many other things in life. So I got up and went out and didn't come home until evening. I had cog fog so I wasn't sure how I wanted to plan out my day, but I said forget it, I will brush my hair, put on my makeup, take a walk, keep walking until I feel better. So I did that. Didn't regret it at all. Saw the beautiful sunset today, felt the air and felt the brain fog lessen as I kept going. I don't know what to say except these daily walks are really saving me sometimes.

 

Feeling SO much better right now as I sit here. The day isn't completely over but I feel pretty victorious!

So happy to hear that the rest of you are doing well so far. We can do this!

[[ho...]]

Welcome wylidas and milan!

 

I felt so ill and so depressed upon waking today, I think today was definitely one of my worst, but I said NO. NO. I WILL NOT DO THIS. I will not lay in bed any longer and let myself ROT like this. I will not lay here and set off a million negative thoughts in my head. I am so much more than this. Life is so much more than this. I can't let poor sleep take over my entire life. I can't keep letting it chain me to my bedroom. I know its important to sleep but so are so many other things in life. So I got up and went out and didn't come home until evening. I had cog fog so I wasn't sure how I wanted to plan out my day, but I said forget it, I will brush my hair, put on my makeup, take a walk, keep walking until I feel better. So I did that. Didn't regret it at all. Saw the beautiful sunset today, felt the air and felt the brain fog lessen as I kept going. I don't know what to say except these daily walks are really saving me sometimes.

 

Feeling SO much better right now as I sit here. The day isn't completely over but I feel pretty victorious!

So happy to hear that the rest of you are doing well so far. We can do this!

 

 

WOW  --- Way to go!!!!!    Good for you.  What strength to get your tired, depressed self up and out.  One step at a time and to be out the entire day!!  That's courage and strength.  AND it worked in a positive way for you.  You are victorious and should be very proud of yourself.  Congratulations.

 

This makes me so very happy!

[[An...]]

I am feeling so much better. I am nearing the end I hope.  And it is since I started this thread.

 

Honestly it just takes time and if you can relieve yourself even temporarily by positive thoughts and actions that is fanastic.

 

You should both be proud of yourselves!!

 

Angel xx

[[An...]]

I've decided to have a break from BB in order to focus on my life and continue with my healing.

 

I will pop back from time to time to see how you are doing but please keep up this thread and remain positive and patient - it does take time but you all are going to be 100% - probably better.

 

Luv

Angel

[[ho...]]

I've decided to have a break from BB in order to focus on my life and continue with my healing.

 

I will pop back from time to time to see how you are doing but please keep up this thread and remain positive and patient - it does take time but you all are going to be 100% - probably better.

 

Luv

Angel

 

Hi Angel  ----  This is a very positive post!!!  It means to me that you are doing much better.  I look forward to the days when I have to remind myself to get on and see how folks are doing and offer some encouragement. 

Go and enjoy your life!!!  I'll look forward to seeing you on from time to time. 

Blessings on you....  XOX.

 

I'm continuing to have better days.  I feel like I'm in a holding pattern somewhere between hell and well!!  Still having sx but I can manage them.  I'm not sure if that is because they are less intense or if I'm handling them better? 

Yesterday I drove myself to visit my sister.  This was a first in a long time and it felt great. 

 

Angel, I'm glad you started this thread.  Thanks!

[[ch...]]

It sounds like you are doing incredibly well Angel, and I'm so happy to hear it. Thankyou for starting this thread--it's truly helped in motivating me to keep positive despite worsening sx at this time. My heart goes out to you xo

 

Hope -- maybe it is a mixture of both handling your sx better and healing going on I have read about your struggle with being housebound and it brings me joy to know that you are able to go out on your own to visit your sister -- truly progress indeed! I pray that it is only uphill from here.

 

I have been struggling to keep my positivity pledge, but continue to stride on. I feel like I am truly coming to terms with the fact that there will be days where it is worse and better, but that one day it will mostly be better, and finally completely better. I overestimated my time of recovery at 3 weeks and have learned that I am actually still pretty early on in this. Acceptance is a step up in recovery.

[[ho...]]

I have been struggling to keep my positivity pledge, but continue to stride on. I feel like I am truly coming to terms with the fact that there will be days where it is worse and better, but that one day it will mostly be better, and finally completely better. I overestimated my time of recovery at 3 weeks and have learned that I am actually still pretty early on in this. Acceptance is a step up in recovery.

 

Hi Chantillie ---  You have been so very positive.  I'm certain that you will be able to keep that perspective no matter what challenges you face.  Yes, acceptance is part of this process - for everyone I think.  It does help in being realistic about what is happening.  It doesn't make it any easier. 

 

There are so many good resources available.  I found a bunch of coping techniques that along with my hubby, sister and this board got me through what I hope now is the worst.  Find all of the ones that help you and make a list of them when you're feeling OK so that you can remind yourself when you've not OK. 

 

I woke this morning feeling normal (I think).  It was interesting to me to feel this way since it has been so long.

 

Yes, you are exactly right that there will be days where it is worse and better, but that one day it will mostly be better, and finally completely better.

 

Know that you are strong and can get through anything this "recovery" has to throw at you.  Your body will not fail you.  And as weird as they are the sx are indeed your GABAs healing themselves.  They need to learn how to work again after taking a benzo vacation! 

 

XOX  (((HUGS)))