Brain and Body Can Only Take So Much - I Can't Cope Much Longer - Please Help

[[re...]]

Coop,

 

I don't normally respond to posts and just read.  I have been a member here since 2007.  You can go back and read some of my very first posts here to get an idea of the shape I was in.  It was very, very bad.  I was like you in that I got no relief on the benzos and I tapered a long time in complete hell.  I waited after I got off to feel better but I couldn't hang in there because the symptoms were so bad.  I was told I needed to go back on the benzos to settle my brain and body down and start over.  I couldn't do that.  I was too petrified of having to go through it all again.  For me, I had to do something when I got off because my body was a wreck and I was just way too sick.  If you read any of my old posts you will know.  I only tell you this so you know you are not and were not alone in your level of suffering.  I am so so sorry you are suffering the way you are now.  What I decided to do was take an anticonvulsant.  I don't recommend this to anyone and my story is not your story but there are similarities.  When I took that and a beta blocker my symptoms were still there but slowly my brain started to calm down and be able to think again.  The buzzing inside my head went away as did the DP/DR.  I do think I had way too much Glutamate.  Try to stay away from ever taking benzos again.  You seem highly sensitive to them (as was I)....I only took them for a month and was so highly addicted to them.  There are other options besides benzos if things get too bad and you just can't take it anymore.  Best wishes to you.

Pebbles, curious how long you stayed on the anti-convulsant? We usually hear that they make healing take longer since they hit the same receptors.

[[pe...]]

I'm still on the generic for Trileptal but willbe tapering soon.  I stayed on an anticonvulsant for a long time afterwards because my system was out of control.  Not all anticonvulsants hit Gaba receptors.  I am not making any recommendations for anyone to take an anticonvulsant.  I was just relaying my story and experience.  However, I would rather see someone on an anticonvulsant than back on benzos or in a psych ward, etc. because they can't take it anymore.  Sometimes they can help slow things down enough to let some healing occur.  Hope everyone else is doing ok. 

[[Ch...]]

Thank you, pebbles, for posting this. I see a lot of posters who are considering adjunctive therapies to aid in w/d healing get slammed for considering doing so. I think there should be a cost/benefit analysis, but undo suffering in w/d that could be alleviated with something like an anti-convulsant, anti-depressant, etc. shouldn't be ruled out because it is a medicine, and "all medicines are bad."

 

For instance, I take a low dose of Seroquel to help with insomnia caused by my AD. I also take Topamax, an anti-convulsant [that does act on GABA-A, for migraine prophylaxis - taken pre-taper]. Right now, the benefits of these medicines outweigh the risks, for me personally.

 

coop - keep, doing what you are doing. You will get through this. You have a good support system here of people that care for you and have been where you're at and have healed. My prayers are with you.

 

CB

[[ka...]]

hi coop i was taking 0.5 grams of xanax for 1 year and taper for 1 month i was in bed for 3 months it was like dieing and going to hell i kept asking GOD to take my life!!!! i thouth i was brain damage that my life was never going to get any better but JESUS never left my side and kept me going i had the shakes tremers hot and cold real bad flu like symptoms nothing seen real i felt dead but was still walking around the only time i got a way from it was when i was sleeping i lived in a dream world for 3 months and the anxiety was out of this world!!!!! i went from 140 pounds to 128 i could not hold down any food or water i lived on baby food and ensure drinks by my 4th month xanax free life was bareable i finely had some windows were i felt normal was in and out of bed but was doing better im at 6 months xanax free!!! with very mild withdrawls it takes time and the more u fight it the harder it gets u have to tell your self it will pass its just the way your body and mine heals is self we are all praying for you dont give up love in JESUS ....kate7

[[Ti...]]

Coop--also take heart that you are putting in your time now.  When you eventually jump, it will most likely not be worse--hopefully better.  You are putting in your time right now as you are clearly in acute withdrawal...

[[Ho...]]

Hi Coop. I can really relate with a lot that you typed in the original post. I know what you mean by "nothing seems real", etc. I also felt like my brain was severely damaged beyond repair. It did get better though, and so will yours. Hang in there, Buddie. 

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I hope so, it just doesn't seem possible. I have so many scary, weird, painful things happening in my brain in spine. It doesn't feel like they're getting better or will ever stop. I can't find any other stories to compare these feelings to and really can't web describe them myself. I keep feeling like I'm not gonna make it and then it let's up the smallest bit, but never stops. I'm so scared. I can't live like this and feel like I'm about to snap. I don't even know how I've taken it for so long. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of something worse happening, not something better.

[[fi...]]

coop,

 

I hope today is better for you.  I had severe w/d sxs and had to hold at the same dose for at least 11 months.  I'm not saying you'll have to hold that long, but I definitely wouldn't go down anymore until you've stabilized.

 

fg

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hey coop = reading your original post really helped me.  i am in my 8th month out and had a rough couple days, and reading your note reminded me of how extremely horrible it was in the beginning- so thanks dear friend.  man that was rough.  24/7 and in the twilight zone.  i just want you to know it will get better.  i am not completely healed and i still have challenging days but nothing like it was.  a s/x is thinking it won't end.  even now when i get slammed i get all upset because it is so darn odd.  you can do this.  u r doing it.  keep holding on.  keep a little spark of hope inside yourself.  pray constantly to keep the fear at bay ; because it is very very scary; i know.  we are here for you.  it will end.  i was promised that and i did not believe it but now i know it is true.  it just takes time...and the days are like years.  i know.  this too shall pass