Help with family distracting my recovery

[[ba...]]

Hi everyone I need help.

I'm on a taper with my doctor snf I've abused benzos for many years so the taper is 8 months planned hopefully doc will slow down. 

I started at an 8 mg clonazepam taper my doc and it's long acting enough and I'm down to 5mg and anxiety is so bad.

I'm a stay at home dad and my wife and out 5 year old moved in with my parents who are well off in a big house they are roughly 80 years of age bur I'm also living with my brother who is 34 I'm 48 and his wife is 22.

We moved in so I can be watched and I lucked out with a doctor online. Now it's like everyone is complaining about My son. Their son is 6 months. My mom and me clash I'm the middle child. She doesn't care much. Anytime I tell her ehat someone is saying she just gets defensive. 

My dad doesn't take sides he wants me better.

Question is if I stay here I'm not surrounded with help and I'm stuck at home.

If I move out he will think I'm using or buying em from someone or drinking and none of that will happen.

I want to get off these pills and the anxiety that is coming from all these people who are not understanding is killing me.

What should I do like my mom would drive me to any meetings but she's to in live with my brother. THEY DONT KNOW HOW HARD THIS TAPER IS AND THEY ARE MAKING MY ANXIETY OH SO HIGH.

ANY SUPPORT REMARKS WILL HELP.

 

THANKS

 

[[Bu...]]

Hello @[ba...],

Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

I am so glad that you have a doctor that is helping you to taper.  Is he/she willing to work with you regarding the speed of your taper?  Tapering off of 5mgs in 8 months is much faster than recommended.  Usually for long term use, we recommend cutting about 5-10% of your current dose every 2-3 weeks, depending on your symptoms.   If you are having severe anxiety now, it could definitely be from tapering if it was done very quickly.  Your system may just need some time to settle down before you do anything else.

I am so sorry for all the family issues that you are dealing with.  Many of us find that our relatives and friends have a difficult time understanding what we are going through.  It is often helpful for us to find ways to deal with the feelings of stress and anxiety that the situation can cause.  In your spot, I would look into some counseling to help deal with the extra emotional stress. There are also many online resources for mediation and relaxation that can be very helpful.  Many folks here have had success with relaxation apps as well. 

I have also found that the more I learn about this process, the easier it is to explain it to people.  Maybe this will be true for you too.

We are glad you found us and we will do our best to support you through this process.

[[ba...]]

Burn the ships thanks for the response. 25 percent every month (if we take an approximate) he's taking 1 mg a month so roughly it is OK but please let me know my math may be off. 

If I take the 10 percent every two weeks make it 12.5 percent but I agree it's fast. 

He said he will reevaluate it at 4 mg and I think if I told him how I feel he may help but I'm scared.

I have been to rehab centre's and I'm in Vancouver bc and they both lied and attempted three month tapers. Sad money grab.

But this doctor is public not private so ya we don't have private shrinks our here even though I'll try.

I have a counselor but u know it helps a bit. She just says to journal and I don't see the point in it. 

My parents and family the mess.

Oh and you are right because I abused benzos for decade or more so I would love him to slow down.

I'll ask even though he did say he will re aavaluate at 4 mg maybe I'll ask him at 5 which is in a couple weeks.

I feel so much anxiety but what helps is pregabalin and also if I eat after I take my medication the effects go away.

That sucks. Tea almost anything because I need it right when I get it at 10 am and that's when I wake up and I get stuck and eat and sit with knots in my stomach and hide in my room or I try our home gym which helps. 

I'm taking these vitamins the ones that gary brekka gave to dana white and apparently he'd getting a Nobel prize for that I think. 

I'm a month and a half into the vitamins but I find that pregablin helps but again I cannot eat so if I can fight it ill have a quick protein shake wait till dinner go to sleep after cardio.

Thanks for your quick reply and family socks. My mom is telling me to move back as she is a bitch and I think being away from these people so many under one roof will help. 

Anyone know if medical Marijuana may help or anything else to take the distress away. I feel that I'm doomed and my anxiety won't go away and if I tell my doctor he will just think I don't want to get off.

Train wreck (:((

[[Bu...]]

Hey @[ba...],

People have very mixed results regarding supplements, vitamins, other meds and drugs, including marijuana.  We have very sensitive central nervous systems during this process and we just never know what will help or hurt.  What helps one person may hurt another and vice versa.  You might try searching in the alternative treatments forum to see what others have had success with.

I'm sorry about your experience with rehab centers.  They are generally not prepared to deal with benzo withdrawal and usually take people off too fast.  There are two resources that are very helpful for planning the taper process that you can try to share with your doctor:  The Ashton Manual and The Maudsley Deprescribing Guidlines.  I believe you can find both on Amazon.  Perhaps if you start by telling your doctor that you are committed to getting off but feel that a slower taper would help you to manage your anxiety better during the process, he/she will be willing to work with you.

I know this is a difficult process, but you can do it, and we are all here to help you. 

[[ba...]]

 

I did look at the Ashton manual many times but im not good with valium lol but her bible is what doctors should know.

I agree about the vitamins I just feel so anxious before the medications arrive I just have to tell him.

I get a daily delivery and I just feel anxious until it comes and I need to present to him.

I just can't handle the anxiety sometimes. It just comes goes and I know it could be an unlying issue for me in general.

 

Thanks so much for your help all the best you took time out for me that means so much!

[[Bu...]]

@[ba...],

I didn't switch to Valium to get off.  I don't think I could have handled it, either.  But, yes, I think the Ashton Manual is just a good starting resource for doctors.

Let us know what happens at your next appointment.  We're here for you.

[[ba...]]

Thanks for the reply sometimes to anxious yo even check messages.

I have an appointment coming this on the 26th.

When you say 5 to 10 percent every two to three weeks what would an example be from 5mg. 

I'll ask him that the daily delivery doesn't work as I don't drive so they just get here like 11 am and so that part sucks. 

I'd love to help others but I think people understand us lon term abusers are in a world of trouble. 

I hope he will keep it here but sny help with a taper example from 5 mg would help.

Thanks so much!

[[ba...]]

I was just reading and your right 5 to 10 percent every two to three weeks. So for 5mg is 0.5 so I've gotta go after this appointment.

I'll let you know.

[[Bu...]]

There is a Benzo clinic at St Pauls hospital in Vancouver. They know how to taper and anyone can attend the clinic if your doctor is going too fast maybe they can help you 

[[ba...]]

OK thanks so much. My doctor isn't fast but but I'll know soon. I'll contact st Paul's right away.

Thank u so much just knowing others are with me helps me breathe.

[[Bu...]]

Hey @[ba...],

I'm sorry I didn't see your question sooner.  If you want, you can type the "@" symbol and then start typing my name, click on it when it appears in a drop-down menu.  This will let me know that you had a question for me.  

And yes, you're right about the 5 mgs.  If you multiply 5 mgs by 10%, which is 5 x .10 you get .5. Then subtract the .5 from the 5 and you get 4.5. which is 10% of 5 mgs.  Hope that's not written too confusingly! 😜

[[dj...]]

If your family is being unhelpful, it may help to educate them a little.  Here is a good video from Dr Jennifer Leigh.  Your family just needs to understand that some people can get completely wrecked by this (bedbound for months, can’t work, etc), so you need to taper at a pace where the symptoms aren’t too unsettling or disabling.  This video is pretty good though.  

 

 

[[ba...]]

Thanks for all the contributions. Family isn't so in the way but then again they are because I'm living with my parents wife 5 year old my brother his wife and their 5 months old.

Most understand but issue is I don't work so it's a at home rehab. 

Past doctors who were specialists failed but this online doctor is doing kind of what @burntheships.

@burntheships, @djej2010, @ bunnie I thank you all I. My first days!

[[ba...]]

Hey @[Bu...] just an update regarding my phone call appointment.

Doctor increased the mirtazipine so sleep will br improved but very tough change of tone. I yold him about the hallucinations and everything just seems as if he thinks I'm lying.

Hr said your still on a very high dose of clonazepam. No response to my side effects.

Am I allowed to see another doctor as this guy is getting harsh? I doubt it.

What can I really ask for. I prey that he helps eith a slower taper as I reminded him that he said he will revisit it. I said all I could squeeze in.

Idk he wouldn't even allow weekly dispense he said every three days.

I have a 5 year old full time job at home. So much family that he hides behind to not eat.

Cardio it is tv all day.

I'm just going to ignore everyone people interfering with me trying to feed my child is way to far.

Thanks for your help.