Not sure what is happening to my brain

[[Ti...]]

Ok, I was on ativan for 5 years. Was on klonopin prior to that for 13 years. Now, still on klonopin but just got off ativan about 11 days ago. Since Sunday, I've been experiencing a sinking feeling in my gut. I'm scared that I can't fall asleep because I don't.. and then all day I'm scared of that and of living in fear and having fear and terror over everything. My brain is like making up scary images and horrible evil thoughts and it's constant. I'm crawling out of my skin. My docs all think I should go to the ER and go to a psych hospital. I'm afraid they'll give me ativan. And can this be from coming off ativan? I'm still on klonopin so Idk if I'm just going crazy. I'm terrified.

[[Re...]]

Hello @[Ti...], I am so sorry, I know the early days of withdrawal are really instense. What you describe seem to be absolutely consistent with benzodiazepine withdrawal, I have had quite similar symptoms after discontinuing alprazolam. 

How did you stop taking the ativan, have you tapered? What dose have you taken, may I ask?

I can assure you it slowly gets better and better, but I can not tell you how long that is going to take.

 

[[Ti...]]

I was on 5mg at the height but was mostly on 3mg all at night for sleep. I tapered but it was a fast taper, went from 3mg to 2mg to 1mg to .5 to off in about 2 months. I often can't sit still because then I am alone with my thoughts. Even when I'm trying to work, I can't because I'm constantly having this fear and terror feeling.

[[Re...]]

@[Ti...]  I have tapered from 4,5 mg aplrazolam in 3 months after 12 years, sadly, so I understand your struggles. But it is not only me: Many people report having the same cluster of symptoms. I linked a page so that you can get informed better about too short tapers. 

Usually people do a symptom-led, slow taper when discontinuing benzodiazepines. The taper rate depends on the individual, it is the reduction of their previous dose with 5-10% every two-three weeks (tapering info).

We have a section for Success Stories, many many of our members have recovered after discontinuing benzodiazepines in various ways. It is a rather difficult and possibly time consuming experience, but the prognosis of this is absolutely positive. 

Please let us know how we can help you!

 

 

[[Ti...]]

I just don't feel ok. I have intense terror and fear and it's making me think I'm going crazy. It's 24/7 for almost a full week. I can't work, can't eat, can't do anything. I'm terrified this thinking is going to last. I can't live this way.

[[Be...]]

@timebomb11,  I can hear the fear and pain in your words and it breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I just got here so don't have any pearls of wisdom, but I can offer friendship and support.

I'm about 8 or so weeks in and it's shut down my world. I too wonder if there will ever be a day that I won't feel at least one symptom and I have to just focus on not letting my mind run wild. I'm literally talking myself into participating in life and doing at least one challenging thing a day. I'm not very patient, so it's probably always going to be a struggle. Sometimes the hard thing for me is just believing that it will get better and it already is better than it was when this started. I spend much of the day reminding myself of the progress I've made so far. 

I've had a tiny bit of peace distracting myself with my favorite hobby- scrapbooking. The more "normal" tasks I can complete each day seem to be how I measure my success in overcoming each little barrier. And then there are days when nothing seems to work so I try to forget those days.

[[Th...]]

What you are experiencing is "normal" coming off of Benzos.  You tapered really fast...so symptoms are to be expected.  

 

Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Symptoms

The following is a list of possible symptoms; it is not a list of what you will suffer from during withdrawal. You are unlikely to experience more than a few of these symptoms during withdrawal, and may experience none at all. Some of these withdrawal effects are reported from anecdotal evidence and may be spurious. All of these symptoms can have causes other than withdrawal from benzodiazepines. It is important for you to discuss any new symptoms with your doctor.

Most CommonPhysical:

Muscle pain

Psychological:

Anxiety

Depression

Insomnia

Less CommonPhysical:

Gastrointestinal problems (may include abdominal pain or cramps, and distension)

Visual disturbances (blurred vision, hypersensitivity to light, seeing spots, sore eyes, dry eyes)

Headaches (may include feelings of tightness in head)

Flu-like symptoms (fatigue, lethargy, weakness)

Sweating

Pain in neck and shoulders, teeth and jaw

Limbs feel heavy

Balance problems, dizziness, unsteadiness, loss of coordination

Shaking

Feelings of tightness in chest, breathing difficulties, palpations, inner trembling

Psychological:

Phobias (most common are agoraphobia, social phobia, and the fear of going mad)

Panic attacks

Rapid mood swings

Restlessness, jumpiness

Loss of memory, trouble concentrating

Nightmares

Irritability

Derealisation (feelings of unreality, changes in perception)

Least commonPhysical:

Changes in appetite, weight gain or loss

Constipation, diarrhoea, vomiting

Difficulty swallowing, increased saliva, loss of taste or metallic taste, sore mouth and tongue, dry mouth

Craving of sweet foods

Tinnitus (ringing in ears)

Menstrual changes

Changes in libido

Urinary problems (frequency, urgency)

Skin rashes, itchy skin, dry skin, slow healing of wounds

Painful scalp

Feelings of 'pins and needles' , tingling or numbness in arms, legs, face or trunk

Hypersensitivity to sounds

Hyperactivity

Speech difficulties

Rapid changes in body temperature

Psychological:

Depersonalisation (feeling like you don't know who you are)

Hallucinations

Feeling suddenly aggressive or full of rage

Paranoia

Intrusive thoughts or memories

Morbid thoughts, suicidal thoughts

Unusually sensitive (such as to reading or watching news stories)