To those who do not seem to heal :(

[[Ma...]]

@[le...] 

 

please stop the zopiclone, it is what brought me here…🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
 

if u feel like u can do that oh please. 
 

i agree with @[Sn...], don’t take anything, no alcohol no medication , and unfortunate that there is no shortcut. 
i am early compared to all of u, my injury started November 2021. But I did reinstate and that was a disaster even worse. Mentally I’m 70% healed, physically nothing changed, maybe even worse, severe dystonia, loss of all internal sensations, numb in and out and too weak to walk or stand or even cook. 
 

i pray for all of us. 
@[be...] I’m so sorry, the dystonia symptoms are literally the worsest from the physical. So much pain as if it body is compressed under a vise 24/7. 
min exhausted, and I am not even 3 years in to this. 
hugs. 
 

hugs to all of u warriors💕

[[Ma...]]

On 12/03/2024 at 12:45, [[m...] said:

I definetly have 2 years of damage from alprazolam off the darkweb from taking it about 2 weeks.

Im probably not as severe as someone who has done it for years but

its kinda of shitty to tell people they arent suffering when they obviously are the internet seeking answers and help from a drug which they know before they took they didnt have these problems

Oh I’m sorry yes That’s really rude. Even 1 pill can destroy ppl if u are unlucky. I know a woman 9 years out, 2 weeks use, disabled 

Edited March 15 by [Ma...]

[[Ma...]]

On 08/03/2024 at 21:59, [[S...] said:

Head tension, neck and back tension. Head is the worst. 11 years and it has not gone away. An alteration to the CNS occurred. Unfortunate but it is what it is.

Scooby maybe I asked u before but did u ever had windows from that tension? Did it let go for an hour or something or is it for u also constant 24/7?

[[le...]]

20 hours ago, [[d...] said:

@[le...] The people who heal do not continue taking benzos, Z-drugs or alcohol.  I think you mentioned you are taking Zoplicone currently.  That could prevent you from healing.  The subject line of this post says "To those who do not seem to heal"   It should say "To those who do not seem to heal while continuing to take Z drugs"   It is really hard for people to give good feedback if they don't know all the facts.  In my opinion, you will not heal if you keep taking Z drugs, but I could be wrong.   Also, you have mentioned in the past you occasionally drink alcohol.  This could also hinder the healing process.  In order for our brains to heal, we have to abstain from the substances that are causing harm. 

I’m sorry I’m dragging people down won’t post any more. It was anti depressants then the flu jab caused the damage. Took zopiclone for years on and off no problems. Anyway I’ll stay off here apologise if I’m dragging people down but def not zopiclone stopping me healing.

[[Ga...]]

Leann, just a quick question as I am confused:  If you never had any problems with the zop and are using it now, wouldn’t you be feeling better?   Is it mainly used for sleep…are you sleeping better now?  As for your OCD, I remember in the early days of your recovery that you feared hurting someone when you went for a walk, and you were afraid that you had put something in the trash bin that you shouldn’t have.  Maybe go back and read some of your early postings and see how afraid you were back then!!!   I believe your fellow buddies are just trying to point out to you that you have posted numerous times about all the different meds you have been on,,,,,,Valium, Seroquel, different anti-depressants, alcohol…..all of which has put your brain into a constant state of trauma.  I believe that when you post about taking these meds and then share that you are not healing, it is only natural that others weighing in are going to give you their honest reactions to your continuing to use meds as a bandaid, while at the same time saying you will never heal.  It is nothing personal, but when we buddies post we open ourselves up to responses we may not want to hear.  Now may be a good time to take a break, a good long break from the boards and concentrate on healing your mind and body with no meds of any type.  
 

GG

[[Du...]]

2 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Oh I’m sorry yes That’s really rude. Even 1 pill can destroy ppl if u are unlucky. I know a woman 9 years out, 2 weeks use, disabled 

It's so unfair ..

[[le...]]

1 hour ago, [[G...] said:

Leann, just a quick question as I am confused:  If you never had any problems with the zop and are using it now, wouldn’t you be feeling better?   Is it mainly used for sleep…are you sleeping better now?  As for your OCD, I remember in the early days of your recovery that you feared hurting someone when you went for a walk, and you were afraid that you had put something in the trash bin that you shouldn’t have.  Maybe go back and read some of your early postings and see how afraid you were back then!!!   I believe your fellow buddies are just trying to point out to you that you have posted numerous times about all the different meds you have been on,,,,,,Valium, Seroquel, different anti-depressants, alcohol…..all of which has put your brain into a constant state of trauma.  I believe that when you post about taking these meds and then share that you are not healing, it is only natural that others weighing in are going to give you their honest reactions to your continuing to use meds as a bandaid, while at the same time saying you will never heal.  It is nothing personal, but when we buddies post we open ourselves up to responses we may not want to hear.  Now may be a good time to take a break, a good long break from the boards and concentrate on healing your mind and body with no meds of any type.  
 

GG

Not better because of the damage caused by the anti depressants and flu jab. Haven’t used any other meds for a while. The stupid gp told me to keep taking anti depressants which totally screwed up my brain. Anyway I just seem to be annoying people so won’t post anymore. But intrusive thoughts truly are the worst symptom they ruin lives.I didn’t take any other meds for about 2 years and didn’t improve. Had insomnia for about 20 years, I know zop not good but otherwise go weeks not sleeping. Anyway bye bye benzo buddies.

 

[[Ga...]]

I pray you will return someday and share your success story.  In the meantime enjoy being a grandmother….the best distraction ever🙏🎉😉

GG

[[Na...]]

On 14/03/2024 at 08:53, [[d...] said:

@[le...] The people who heal do not continue taking benzos, Z-drugs or alcohol.  I think you mentioned you are taking Zoplicone currently.  That could prevent you from healing.  The subject line of this post says "To those who do not seem to heal"   It should say "To those who do not seem to heal while continuing to take Z drugs"   It is really hard for people to give good feedback if they don't know all the facts.  In my opinion, you will not heal if you keep taking Z drugs, but I could be wrong.   Also, you have mentioned in the past you occasionally drink alcohol.  This could also hinder the healing process.  In order for our brains to heal, we have to abstain from the substances that are causing harm. 

Let me second this thought.

I have a lot of unfortunate experience with the z-drugs. My drugs (all for insomnia) were Zoplidem (Ambien), Temezapam (hypnotic benzo), and Zopiclone (Lunesta).

Z-drugs are chemically distinct from benzos, but they bind to the same benzo sites on the GABA A receptors. Some of them are more selective for the alpha 1 site which might actually make them worse in terms of tolerance. 

Of the three meds I took sequentially over the years - my sense is the Zopiclone did the most damage. At least it wasn't long after starting that one that things really started to badly go downhill.

So don't brush off the z-drugs. They are every bit as bad as the benzos.

 

[[Mi...]]

Hi Mascha44444, I feel very sorry for your suffering. I do realize what are you going through...

I'm looking here (on BB forum) for some support, advise and maybe for someone who is going through similar, to my wife's, symptoms. Alice (my wife) is over 9 months off benzo and actually it is getting worse, gradually and constantly worse - no waves actually. Recently she is getting more exhausted in mornings and it is so severe that after some time she has kind of seizure/epilepsy in legs. It makes her so exhausted. Prior to this she has also squezzing all over the body with serious difficulties in breathing. Last couple of days getting also new symptom like becoming heavier and heavier, like whole body weights 1 T, can't even go for a walk as it is too exhausting right now. Have you  suffered also from breathing difficuties, internal trembling, body pain and kind of short epilepsy at earlier stage?

Thank you and wishing you and all suffering people return to HEALTH 

[[Sc...]]

On 15/03/2024 at 01:51, [[M...] said:

Scooby maybe I asked u before but did u ever had windows from that tension? Did it let go for an hour or something or is it for u also constant 24/7?

It has never let up. Since they day i had the injury it has got worse over the years. First couple years was better.

[[fe...]]

I'm a weird one. My issues are almost entirely physical, whereas most posting here typically report mental issues.  For about 6 years since I finished my taper off of Klonopin, I've been dealing with horrific gas, diarrhea, extreme food sensitivity, weight loss, feverishness, body aches, and reflux that comes along with severe limb spasms, despairing thoughts, and what I can "kaleidoscopic terrors" at night when I close my eyes.

I thought I was hosed for 3.5 years, as it just never ended. Then BOOM. All my symptoms vanished for 1.5 years. I felt amazing. On top of my game. Even switched jobs to a better paying one, started exercising again, started eating EVERYTHING. It was glorious.

Then all of the symptoms slowly crept back in starting November 2023. All of them. Like a package deal. It peaked until it became acute, like I had made no progress at all in the end. And now I'm stuck like this again, 4 months later.  All the same symptoms, severe as hell, and they keep getting reagitated over and over during these 4 months like I'm doing something to trigger it.

I'm on a severely restricted diet, have lost 12 lbs again, and barely weight-stable. I already can't afford to lose weight right now, so I have to force myself to eat the caloric minimum for sedentary lifestyle every day and can't exercise.  I'm on no other meds other than a probiotic I have been taking throughout the past 6 years.

I have to believe in healing, as I had a glorious 1.5 years in heaven. It's gotta come back around again, right? But lemme tell you, guys... Setbacks that come back around can easily be as bad as day 1, my god.  I feel like I'm seeing zero indication of this wave letting up.

I'm maintaining optimism and positivity for my family's sake. I have a wife and son and... I can't afford to be pessimistic because it would lead me down the path of taking the easy way out if you get my drift.

Edited March 17 by [fe...]

[[Ca...]]

On 15/03/2024 at 05:07, [[l...] said:

Not better because of the damage caused by the anti depressants and flu jab. Haven’t used any other meds for a while. The stupid gp told me to keep taking anti depressants which totally screwed up my brain. Anyway I just seem to be annoying people so won’t post anymore. But intrusive thoughts truly are the worst symptom they ruin lives.I didn’t take any other meds for about 2 years and didn’t improve. Had insomnia for about 20 years, I know zop not good but otherwise go weeks not sleeping. Anyway bye bye benzo buddies.

Wait, please don't go! Nevermind what somebody tells you on here. Don't listen to "come back only when you've got a better attitude", type of thing. You help ppl when you least expect it. I find your posts to be refreshing and honest. It's not helpful to me to hear platitudes in positive (or negative) attitudes. But if it works for you, go with it. I'd rather just be honest about whatever is going on with me.

Perhaps no one really knows if we recover or not but I tend to believe it in short term cases. Everyone is different - I cannot stress this point enough. I don't expect I'll heal given certain factors in my case, but that's just me, no one else. 

I am optimistic in the ultimate sense, just not within my timeline. 

[[le...]]

2 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Wait, please don't go! Nevermind what somebody tells you on here. Don't listen to "come back only when you've got a better attitude", type of thing. You help ppl when you least expect it. I find your posts to be refreshing and honest. It's not helpful to me to hear platitudes in positive (or negative) attitudes. But if it works for you, go with it. I'd rather just be honest about whatever is going on with me.

Perhaps no one really knows if we recover or not but I tend to believe it in short term cases. Everyone is different - I cannot stress this point enough. I don't expect I'll heal given certain factors in my case, but that's just me, no one else. 

I am optimistic in the ultimate sense, just not within my timeline. 

Thank you fir your kind words. People don’t understand everyone reacts differently to meds. Anti depressants caused hell on earth symptoms fir me while some do well on them have no problems. Same my zop my taper was go good till had CT even then symptoms weren’t bad. I watch lit Melissa Boutilier videos she Really helps you to realise you are not alone. She really tells it as it is. Anyway just want to show my appreciation of someone not criticising me, Def staying off here Think I am sort getting minor windows some days don’t cry all day. But as so few people seem get mental symptoms hard fir them to understand getting bit of sleep from zop stops me going to a darker place.  Mine is admidally  family stress going back years now coming out as well. Adieu and thank you Catt.

Edited March 17 by [le...]

[[Ma...]]

5 hours ago, [[S...] said:

It has never let up. Since they day i had the injury it has got worse over the years. First couple years was better.

I’m so sorry . This is so unfair. Even worse than the first years is the worst thing that can happen. We expect to get better, not worse. I’m am very sorry scooby. I have a friend who also has it severe in her neck she now 29 months also it gets worse for her, in stead of better. I’m so sorry😢 this is inhumane suffering

[[Ga...]]

Leann, Melissa is great and I have listened to many of her videos.  I have also had several phone consultations with her as some of her symptoms mirrored mine relating to female issues.  Have you spoken by phone with her?  She has lower rates than many of the other coaches, so may be worth your while.  And, I do believe it is beneficial for many of us to take breaks from the forums, especially those of us protracted, as reading about setbacks and flares can be very triggering!  I am also taking breaks!

Enjoy your grand baby coming soon!

GG

[[Gi...]]

On 08/03/2024 at 20:59, [[S...] said:

Head tension, neck and back tension. Head is the worst. 11 years and it has not gone away. An alteration to the CNS occurred. Unfortunate but it is what it is.

Hi Scooby,

I have been reading some of your posts. I just have a question if I may. Have you ever taken or taking any medication recently or over the years that might have set you back? Also how long were you on the benzo and at what dosage?

Thank you 

Edited March 19 by [Gi...]

[[Sc...]]

1 hour ago, [[G...] said:

Hi Scooby,

I have been reading some of your posts. I just have a question if I may. Have you ever taken or taking any medication recently or over the years that might have set you back? Also how long were you on the benzo and at what dosage?

Thank you 

I haven't taken any medication in 11 years. I was on benzos/SSRI's since 1991, got off them 2013. I took various benzos, last was Clonazepam 0.5- 1mg then switched to valium and tapered that. Rapid withdrawal off them all shocked my CNS caused head tension that never went away.

[[Ma...]]

Update 

 

baylissa asked me in email response for names and now she tells me it’s sad that I made this tread.

well maybe I’m a sad person. 
So forget about this thread she is not interested anymore and just responds with that you all will heal fully even if you are not healed 10 years later 😂😭😵‍💫

[[ti...]]

4 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Update 

baylissa asked me in email response for names and now she tells me it’s sad that I made this tread.

well maybe I’m a sad person. 
So forget about this thread she is not interested anymore and just responds with that you all will heal fully even if you are not healed 10 years later 😂😭😵‍💫

How does she explain the people in the protracted section with long term issues? And it's not just us here on this site. I've read news articles where people have been interviewed who still have symptoms far off the meds. Not minor ones either. I don't understand her. 

[[Gi...]]

16 hours ago, [[S...] said:

I haven't taken any medication in 11 years. I was on benzos/SSRI's since 1991, got off them 2013. I took various benzos, last was Clonazepam 0.5- 1mg then switched to valium and tapered that. Rapid withdrawal off them all shocked my CNS caused head tension that never went away.

I still think you will recover from this. It is just taking longer. Do you have windows, hours where you don’t feel this symptom?

[[Ma...]]

9 hours ago, [[t...] said:

How does she explain the people in the protracted section with long term issues? And it's not just us here on this site. I've read news articles where people have been interviewed who still have symptoms far off the meds. Not minor ones either. I don't understand her. 

Me neither. 
She says I am a danger to the group for adressing this topic, while in one of her emails she asked me who those ppl are. Also she thinks I am a sad person for adressing this. Whatever. I appreciate her work, I appreciate her approach definetly for the newbies who are in severe SI. They need hope to not step out of life and they need to get through the first year.
but most of all I think she is hiding the truth for newbies for hope and ofcourse her business will end once we all find out , many don’t heal. Where would we need her for?

[[Ma...]]

52 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

I still think you will recover from this. It is just taking longer. Do you have windows, hours where you don’t feel this symptom?

This is what baylissa says, that even at 11 years off there is still hope for scooby that it will dissapear. 

[[ti...]]

7 hours ago, [[M...] said:

This is what baylissa says, that even at 11 years off there is still hope for scooby that it will dissapear. 

Ask her about Barry Haslam. He's pretty well known in the benzo community. He never healed completely. I think Baylissa might know him.

[[Pe...]]

She knows 

Edited March 21 by [Pe...]