Should I stop the taper ? Feel overwhelmed.

[[Ao...]]

I am so anxious over re starting my taper in 2 weeks. I don't think I can carry on; do I just need a break. I have had so many breaks tho. Should I just give in and stay on for ever ? I have so much anxiety over how to do my cuts small enough. Cannot get liquid in my country. compounding liquid too expensive. everytime i even look at the frikken gold scale or think about having more wdl side effects  i feel sick. I am 59 years old. I have been very ill with chronic fatigue for 15 years. Issues 5 years b4 that. For the last eight months I have had chronically swollen and painful thyroid and tonsils. I have barely left the house in eight months. Spent the last eight months pretty much in my bed. Should I just stop even thinking abt tapering? Holding does not help. i held for seven month, then re started a month ago. Made two 0.5 mg cuts over 30 days and they were okay ( felt bit sh*t but not too bad), now down to 6 mg Val total daily dose. I just feel utterly and completely overwhelmed and so tired of feeling sick all the time, and feeling like sh*t every time I cut and hold. Should I just shelve the taper til I have built up some strength and maybe - would be a miracle - I feel better ? I can't make a decision abt what taper method to use, I can't think straight. I just want off but "everyone" saying go slow, have to go much slower at the end - I just see another two years of misery stretching before me  I have absolutely no life now, and I thought it was bad before.