2 years off of Benzos, sleep still rough

[[...]]

I'm 2 years off and insomnia has been my old symptom, which has been complete torture. The last 3 weeks I've only been getting 2-3 hours max per night, many zero night sleep. I thought I was doing well and then boom into a nothing 3 week long wave, is this normal?

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

That darn insomnia, it seems like it can come for us without warning.  Are you dealing with any other symptoms?  Has something changed in your life to cause this or are you chalking it up to the benzodiazepine.  It wouldn’t surprise me if it is being caused by that, these medications are the gift that keep on giving.

Speaking of medication, have you started any new ones, any new supplements or new stress in your life?  I’m just trying to find what may have triggered this for you.

Keep talking to us, lets figure this out.

Pamster

[[...]]

nope I have a very healthy life style and take no medications. No stress or anything external really. I have no other symptoms either. Just curious if this is common from other stories on this site. It's pure torture.

[[Pa...]]

How frustrating, unfortunately yes, symptoms can show up unexpectedly but they can also resolve too.  The problem is, we can get nervous about our sleep patterns and soon the anticipatory aspects of not being able to sleep actually starts creating problems. 

[[An...]]

[[Th...]]

Late insomnia waves are somewhat common?  At least for me they were.  I had several after I jumped CT.  I had a 6 week insomnia wave at 18 months off that produced many 1-3 hour nights and several zero hour nights.  This happened again at 30 months off, 46 months off, 58 months off, etc. Most of them lasted a few weeks but some were either side of a month.  They always evened out given enough time.  It's scary and frustrating, but they do resolve.  This is what put me on Benzos in the first place.  There is no rhyme or reason for these.  I drove myself crazy trying to "connect the dots" and figure out what I ate or what I did different. Hang in there, it will end!

[[ma...]]

Hola, llevo 20 meses y sigo con la tortura del insomio, es mas soportable ahora, duermo 2 horas, me despierto y 2 horas mas, eso la gran malloria de veces, pero otras de 2 y otras de 0.

Yo tambien me hacia la misma pregunta, porque apenas tengo otros sintomas, hace ya algún tiempo. 

[[Th...]]

Trate de estar agradecido por todos y cada uno de los sueños. Por razones desconocidas, algunas personas tardan más en sanar. Dormir de 4 a 5 horas por noche es suficiente para vivir una vida digna. Por lo menos era para mi. Cuando comencé a trabajar de 4 a 5 horas la mayoría de las noches, pensé que estaba curado. ¡Buena suerte!

[[Sh...]]

Wp! My old buddy! I was thinking about u the other day and here u are ❤️
im so glad to see u!

mate I am 2.5 years off too actually and last night I think I had 2 hours. That’s a 3rd really bad night in a row and I have to work today that should be interesting. 
 

for some reason some of us are still battling mate, and I had a really long stretch of being almost back to normal but since a setback I’ve been back in the trenches again. Unfortunately we aren’t alone, I speak to another couple of people who have been off as long as me still doing it tough.

sending u a huge hug mate. ❤️

[[ja...]]

Wow wp..... I could have written your exact post.   I'm just over 24 months free, and I'm back in the insomnia zone too.  I'm getting 2-3 hours of broken sleep a night..... and then none.   I got zero sleep two nights ago.  Zero.  And I was vibrating and muscle twitching like I was in acute.   No rhyme or reason either.... no supplements,  no big exercise...... no apparent stress..... it's been freaking me out.... some other symptoms are back too, like ear and head pressure,  mild dizziness, nausea, sweating.     24 months free.   Like I'm right back at the start.   I haven't a clue what caused this......

TheWay..... I'm so grateful for your post.. a reminder that for some, this is the way of it.  It can flip all over the place.

I realize my anxiety and negativity are up too..... I'm  working hard in the long hours of the night,  trying to silence my dark fears.... counteracting them with loving thoughts.... reminders of how grateful I am to have my woodstove, and animals.... people that love and respect me.   But I'm so tired.  

It's good to hear that I'm not alone....❤️

 

[[he...]]

On 01/12/2023 at 20:17, [[S...] said:

Wp! My old buddy! I was thinking about u the other day and here u are ❤️
im so glad to see u!

mate I am 2.5 years off too actually and last night I think I had 2 hours. That’s a 3rd really bad night in a row and I have to work today that should be interesting. 
 

for some reason some of us are still battling mate, and I had a really long stretch of being almost back to normal but since a setback I’ve been back in the trenches again. Unfortunately we aren’t alone, I speak to another couple of people who have been off as long as me still doing it tough.

sending u a huge hug mate. ❤️

Same... almost 26 months off and back in a wave broken 3 or 4 hour nights (or less) finally was a bit better overall these last 2 or 3 months, not normal but more consistently ok to feel well most days, now rough again these last 10 days or so. Havent touched any med not even otc. Made it through stressful move ok, nursed sick kid for 23 days and still got ok enough sleep most of the time and now things calm down boom wave

Edited December 6, 2023 by [he...]

[[Th...]]

IMO, Being grateful for any and all sleep will help you adapt and adjust to the TEMPORARY lack of sleep a lot better than having an attitude that will do nothing to increase the amount of sleep you get each night...just saying!   Yes, lack of sleep and not sleeping well sucks and affects your entire next day, but how much it affects it, is up to you.   

[[Sh...]]

You are right the way, but when ur in the middle of a bad run, it’s seriously frustrating. 
I slept 3 hours the night before last, went for a long walk at 5am, swam at the beach, ran my kids around, blitzed a physical entrance exam  I had to do with a beep test, body drag, swimming ect, studied, cleaned my house, read my book…. Maybe an hour sleep last night. It’s bullshit. I know it will pass but I think sometimes it’s ok to complain about it. I’ll attack today just like every other day, but I am soul tired today. 
I feel u heylona ❤️

[[Sh...]]

I was just thinking how wild it is we are all in the trenches together again… similar times off. 
here for u guys ❤️

[[Sl...]]

@[Sh...] Is sleep issue the only symptom you have left? 

Do you take anything for sleep? I am only 11 months off , took 4 different drug for about 4.5 months (not together) . CT’d all of them. 
I can see my others symptoms lifting but my mind keeps on screaming that my sleep won’t get better.

It’s very hard to fall onto sleep and even if I did fall onto sleep after many hours, my sleep is like in and out with lot of dreams.

I can sleep 5 hours, if I use cannabis . I hardly have any dream but I really want to sleep clean. I didn’t use it last night and my sleep was crap with lots of waking every now and then , probably got 2 or 3 hours in total. 
 

Is that how recovery looks like? I feel like my life is over. 

 

 

Edited December 7, 2023 by [Sl...]

[[he...]]

9 hours ago, [[S...] said:

You are right the way, but when ur in the middle of a bad run, it’s seriously frustrating. 
I slept 3 hours the night before last, went for a long walk at 5am, swam at the beach, ran my kids around, blitzed a physical entrance exam  I had to do with a beep test, body drag, swimming ect, studied, cleaned my house, read my book…. Maybe an hour sleep last night. It’s bullshit. I know it will pass but I think sometimes it’s ok to complain about it. I’ll attack today just like every other day, but I am soul tired today. 
I feel u heylona ❤️

I feel you too Shayna, yesterday i had a day like you, had to work feom home but no school so kid was home so went to indoor play with kid and another kid and her mom and worked from there, then went home and had friend with her kids over for lunch that i hadnt seen in a long time, then later my kid had a meltdown, then had to drive to town for her dyslexia class then grocery shopping and all on broken 3,5 hrs of sleep and feeling really benzostyle out of it and terrible and upset cause i had been so much better for months and feeling normal again despite still not normal sleep but much better. Then driving home in the dark i got a symptom i hadnt had for like a year like 3 times i had no idea where i was totally desoriented. So upsetting, think my brain was just fried benzo style again cause 0% sleepy ofcourse... then this night 4 broken hrs. 9 days of this wave already, back to questioning my sanity and feeling terrible in the day. Luckily did have a few better nights innthe wave. 

And hell yes i will complain about it. I am not gratefull for the bits of shit sleep i do get and the quality of that sleep is evennreally shitty, like the fake sleep feeling,  i just want my old sleep back already after 26 months or at least good enough to feel ok. Its STILL impairing my life, cant really travel, still have to cancel appointments i am lucky i still have my job cause i can mostly work from home.

 

And its all still benzo aftermath cause i still get weird hypnic jerks and hypnic stuff. And it is so seemingly random.

Edited December 7, 2023 by [he...]

[[Sh...]]

10 hours ago, [[S...] said:

@[Sh...] Is sleep issue the only symptom you have left? 

Do you take anything for sleep? I am only 11 months off , took 4 different drug for about 4.5 months (not together) . CT’d all of them. 
I can see my others symptoms lifting but my mind keeps on screaming that my sleep won’t get better.

It’s very hard to fall onto sleep and even if I did fall onto sleep after many hours, my sleep is like in and out with lot of dreams.

I can sleep 5 hours, if I use cannabis . I hardly have any dream but I really want to sleep clean. I didn’t use it last night and my sleep was crap with lots of waking every now and then , probably got 2 or 3 hours in total. 
 

Is that how recovery looks like? I feel like my life is over. 

Welcome sleepless ❤️
The way has given some excellent advice about benzo insomnia, have u read his post in success stories? Make sure u read that x

i have been free from Benzos since June 2021, but up until the end of September I was using unisom. It’s an antihistamine, I mostly took 1 tan a night for the first year then I gradually dropped down in a taper. I only take melatonin now and only 2mg. 
it’s really best not to use anything but I understand how hard not sleeping is. It makes u desperate. 
u do u mate. Only u can decide how much u can take, certainly no judgement from me. Just stay away from Benzos, z drugs or anything that acts on the gaba receptors. There is a list in the Ashton manual. Make sure u read that too.

Recovery is very up and down like a rollercoaster, but as u will read here, u can do better for a while, then the shit hits the fan again for a bit. But it always ends, so u just need to do whatever u need to to survive. 
it will get better if given enuf time.

[[Sh...]]

3 hours ago, [[h...] said:

I feel you too Shayna, yesterday i had a day like you, had to work feom home but no school so kid was home so went to indoor play with kid and another kid and her mom and worked from there, then went home and had friend with her kids over for lunch that i hadnt seen in a long time, then later my kid had a meltdown, then had to drive to town for her dyslexia class then grocery shopping and all on broken 3,5 hrs of sleep and feeling really benzostyle out of it and terrible and upset cause i had been so much better for months and feeling normal again despite still not normal sleep but much better. Then driving home in the dark i got a symptom i hadnt had for like a year like 3 times i had no idea where i was totally desoriented. So upsetting, think my brain was just fried benzo style again cause 0% sleepy ofcourse... then this night 4 broken hrs. 9 days of this wave already, back to questioning my sanity and feeling terrible in the day. Luckily did have a few better nights innthe wave. 

And hell yes i will complain about it. I am not gratefull for the bits of shit sleep i do get and the quality of that sleep is evennreally shitty, like the fake sleep feeling,  i just want my old sleep back already after 26 months or at least good enough to feel ok. Its STILL impairing my life, cant really travel, still have to cancel appointments i am lucky i still have my job cause i can mostly work from home.

And its all still benzo aftermath cause i still get weird hypnic jerks and hypnic stuff. And it is so seemingly random.

I know mate. It’s hard to be greatful for next to nothing when we live like saints. But honestly we are some of the strongest mofos out there. 
I do whatever I want now. If I want to go to a concert, I do. I’ve been camping a couple of times. I’m not letting it control my life anymore.
 Insomnia is mostly my only symptom, when I sleep I’m ok. But when I haven’t slept much that old voice creeps back in. But generally I can tell it to Foff. 
it’s good to vent, and it’s good to cry. I have a big cry some days, u gotta get it out, it’s toxic to hold it in. 
I’ve been in my wave for most of 4 months now. I was doing really well and then bam. Life kicked me in the butt. 
I know I am strong tho. U are too look at what we can do on so little sleep. 
LADY BOSS 💪🏾🙌🏻

Edited December 7, 2023 by [Sh...]

[[Th...]]

I didn't mean to imply you can't complain or bitch about lack of sleep.  Venting makes most people feel better and you have good reason to VENT!  I still get hit with random sleep waves at over 7 years off.  Most of the time they are one-off nights and I ALWAYS get a decent amount of the sleep the next night.  However, this past year, I've been hit with several "mini waves" and some lasted close to a month and produced a few zero nights along with several 1-4 hour nights.  I'd always take the 1-4 hour nights over the zero nights so that's why I try my best not to bitch about them too much!   For me, not bitching (too much...LOL) goes a lot further for getting through the next day!  And that old familiar insomnia voice creeps back in from time-to-time during these "mini waves," but I just give it the middle finger and do the best I can.  Is it easy?  Hell no!   But overall, I have been averaging 7+ hours per night for the past 5 years (outside of the mini waves).  In fact, I went about 15 months one time without any off nights or mini insomnia waves.  Go figure.  Peace!

Edited December 7, 2023 by [Th...]

[[Sh...]]

Thanks the way great advice as usual. I know what u meant by it, just some redirection 🤗

I truly practice so much acceptance tho, and will continue to of course, but there are some days man where I just have to tell it like it is. It’s so Effing hard. Yesterday after zero to whatever the hell crappy hour it was, I studied, tan my kids around, drove an hour away thru hellish traffic to ikea or as I call it flat packing hell, loaded a super heavy piece of furniture for my daughters Xmas present into my car (girl boss 💪🏾) drove back thru hellish traffic. Picked up kids from school and work made beds, went for a swim ….. u get the idea. Not bragging but at this point I’m starting to believe I’m super human, or maybe some sort of Android. I never felt tired all day until I laid on my couch then woke myself up with a snore that felt like someone was covering my airways. 😣
I never sit idle anymore and complain about it. But it does feel good to vent to people who understand ❤️ Thanku guys x 

Edited December 7, 2023 by [Sh...]

[[Sh...]]

4 hours ago, [[T...] said:

I didn't mean to imply you can't complain or bitch about lack of sleep.  Venting makes most people feel better and you have good reason to VENT!  I still get hit with random sleep waves at over 7 years off.  Most of the time they are one-off nights and I ALWAYS get a decent amount of the sleep the next night.  However, this past year, I've been hit with several "mini waves" and some lasted close to a month and produced a few zero nights along with several 1-4 hour nights.  I'd always take the 1-4 hour nights over the zero nights so that's why I try my best not to bitch about them too much!   For me, not bitching (too much...LOL) goes a lot further for getting through the next day!  And that old familiar insomnia voice creeps back in from time-to-time during these "mini waves," but I just give it the middle finger and do the best I can.  Is it easy?  Hell no!   But overall, I have been averaging 7+ hours per night for the past 5 years (outside of the mini waves).  In fact, I went about 15 months one time without any off nights or mini insomnia waves.  Go figure.  Peace!

As much as I hate to hear u recently had a wave, I appreciate u normalizing late waves 🌊 x 

[[ka...]]

On 07/12/2023 at 03:05, [[S...] said:

I know mate. It’s hard to be greatful for next to nothing when we live like saints. But honestly we are some of the strongest mofos out there. 
I do whatever I want now. If I want to go to a concert, I do. I’ve been camping a couple of times. I’m not letting it control my life anymore.
 Insomnia is mostly my only symptom, when I sleep I’m ok. But when I haven’t slept much that old voice creeps back in. But generally I can tell it to Foff. 
it’s good to vent, and it’s good to cry. I have a big cry some days, u gotta get it out, it’s toxic to hold it in. 
I’ve been in my wave for most of 4 months now. I was doing really well and then bam. Life kicked me in the butt. 
I know I am strong tho. U are too look at what we can do on so little sleep. 
LADY BOSS 💪🏾🙌🏻

pure love for your posts 

[[Sh...]]

Awwww love back at u lil kabobs 🥰

[[Ne...]]

I thought I would chime in.  Approaching my 30th month of recovery since CT from 21 days of Temazepam usage.  I guess the word for my current status is consistency.  I fall asleep within 10 minutes around 10:15, first wake-up at around 1, then wake-up's and broken sleep from about 3 am on.  My only other symptoms are tinnitus and lower back head/neck pain.  I take 1 mg of melatonin and one magnesium glycinate before retiring.  Prior to benzos, I was a great sleeper and slept 8 hours with no wakeups.  Not there yet but acceptance of this long and unbelievable recovery has helped me a lot.  I as well as others are proof that the body can become very dependent on these drugs in a very short time.  Stay the course - we will all get to that finish line and be stronger for it! 

[[ma...]]

2 hours ago, [[N...] said:

Pensé en intervenir. Me acerco a mi mes número 30 de recuperación desde la tomografía computarizada de 21 días de uso de temazepam. Supongo que la palabra para mi estado actual es coherencia. Me quedo dormido en 10 minutos alrededor de las 10:15, primero me despierto alrededor de la 1, luego me despierto y duermo interrumpido aproximadamente a las 3 am en adelante. Mis únicos otros síntomas son tinnitus y dolor de cabeza/cuello en la parte baja de la espalda. Tomo 1 mg de melatonina y un glicinato de magnesio antes de retirarme. Antes de las benzos, dormía muy bien y dormía 8 horas sin despertarme. Todavía no he llegado a ese punto, pero la aceptación de esta larga e increíble recuperación me ha ayudado mucho. Tanto yo como otros somos prueba de que el cuerpo puede volverse muy dependiente de estos medicamentos en muy poco tiempo. Mantén el rumbo: ¡todos llegaremos a esa meta y seremos más fuertes para lograrlo! 

30, months? Exasperating, I'm 21 months old.I fall asleep, 2 hours then 2 more hours and that's it.