Vent here

[[Be...]]

I want to slap upside the head the doctors I see that are oblivious to, misinformed about, dismissive of, and simply not even curious about Benzodiazapine withdrawal that I am going through, and therefor are missing the CONTEXT for the problems I am having.

 

I want to shake the doctors I see that ignore the facts of my negative experience with drugs, and suggest trying new ones. WTF??

 

I NEVER HAD AN ANXIETY DISORDER. I HAD A STOMACH PROBLEM.

 

I HAD A PHYSIOLOGICAL PROBLEM, NOT A PSYCHIATRIC DISORDER.

 

I want all the money back I've spent for insurance, doctor visits and crap drugs. I want to be paid a gazillion dollars for pain and suffering.

 

I want all doctors to suffer as we have with benzos, so they will be enlightened.

 

I want my health back. I want it NOW.

 

 

[[be...]]

Bennie I have a better idea, lets get Nova to come with us, and if both of you hold down, the Doctors you dislike the most, and my Jerk of a so called Doctor of ENT. I will gladly start an IV and bring some of your Benzo's and I will and I know Nova will, and we will watch them while we inject the  poison in their veins, and let them see how they like it, but I am thinking we better hold them somewhere for a month or more, to really get them feeling good, then rapidly do a fast taper, and we will record the scene and give them a copy, do you think then they would understand what they are doing handing out this  pills and telling us we won't have any problem getting off of the suckers. OH well, I just woke up from a dream and the above we were doing and it felt good.  

[[Be...]]

Begood, that's one hell of a dream 

[[be...]]

Begood, that's one hell of a dream 

It was a make believe dream. Gosh Bennie I hope I didn't upset you, maybe it was too graphic what I wanted to do to the Doctors.

[[Be...]]

Begood, that's one hell of a dream 

It was a make believe dream. Gosh Bennie I hope I didn't upset you, maybe it was too graphic what I wanted to do to the Doctors.

 

Not upset. Wrong emoticon. Should have used this:  Glad you dreamed it, not me. I've been having a hard enough time sleeping!

 

Umm, but you mean fantasy? Perfectly fine fantasy!

[[be...]]

Begood, that's one hell of a dream 

It was a make believe dream. Gosh Bennie I hope I didn't upset you, maybe it was too graphic what I wanted to do to the Doctors.

 

Not upset. Wrong emoticon. Should have used this:  Glad you dreamed it, not me. I've been having a hard enough time sleeping!

 

Umm, but you mean fantasy? Perfectly fine fantasy!

Thanks Bennie.

[[Li...]]

Fuck psychiatry.  You have ruined my life and the lives of so many others.  I cannot wait until the people wake up and finally take drastic action against psychiatry to completely wipe it off the planet.

[[Ho...]]

I need to vent.  I am really am feeling the side effects today.  Woke up with really intense pain in my left hip.  My whole body aches like I have a bad flue.  My mouth is sore and feels swollen.  Right side of my face is numb again.  Fatigued.  Ringing in ears.  I known this will pass in time but I tried.  Tried of being tried.  Tried of being house bound.  I have not been out in a month.  I was having windows of 5 - 6 hrs.  Healing is not linear I known.  My patience is worn thin.  I have tapered off Zoloft Nov 2014 then started tapering off clonezapam march 2015. I have been strong but I'm just so tried off this dance. 

[[Su...]]

Lol....I'm really peeved off.  My doctor is so ridiculous.  He does not get that I will have no more to do with theses benzodrines.  Lol I'm in Canada.  They get perks from pharemacutacall company's.  So sad even children involved.  Well I know I'm responsible for own health and the drs are out for money.  Some donot even care if you end up talking into a wastebasket.  Guaranteed it won't be me!!!!!!

[[re...]]

I hate left-laners. You know what a left-laner is. A left-laner is someone, on a road with four lanes or more, who prefers to tool along in the left lane instead of the right: even though they're not passing, even though they're actually going quite slow. The left lane is their default lane. They just feel more comfortable there. And of course, they don't give a damn about the rules of the road or the other drivers. I'm sure most of the great problems in the world are caused by left-laners, and I hate them for that.

 

(Hate is natural. Four-billion years of evolution and/or creation have given us the ability, and indeed, the positive need, to hate. It cannot be for no good reason. No, I will embrace my hate.)

 

All Brits are left-laners; so are the Irish, and the Japanese, and I'm not sure about the Hindoos. But they can't help it. Their governments force them to drive on the wrong side of the road. If everyone else on Earth is driving on the right side, they must be driving on the wrong side. What could be more obvious? But I can't hate them for that, since they're being oppressed by a wrong-headed tyranny.

 

I also hate creeps. You know what creeps are. They stop a mile or two before a red light, for no reason, without warning, and then creep forward, little by little, one tiny lurch after another, until, when they finally do get up to the light, and it turns green, they don't move. Not an inch. They just sit there, cleaning the front seat or something. Creeps. I hate them.

 

I hate phonies, of course. We all hate phonies. Anyone who talks on the phone while they're driving should be thrown off a bridge. Naked. Except for the chains.

 

Most of all, I hate blockers. Blockers are those idiots who hurry up to turn in front of you, frequently illegally, just so that they can go slow. Or, let's say they're in the right lane, and you're in the left lane, about to pass them. They will move over into the left lane, and go slow. Failing that, they will speed up, in the right lane, if they can, so that you don't pass them. The only way to get them to slow down is to get behind them in the right lane. But try to pass them again, and they'll speed up, or if possible, get in front of you and block you. They won't go fast, but they won't be passed; they speed up if you try. Go stuff yourself and die, you twits.

 

I had to vent about this here. I tried to vent about it in court, but that was a mistake. Don't do that. Most judges are left-laning phonie creeps who will block you if you try to defend yourself from one of their arbitrary and capricious little traffic tickets.

[[Fl...]]

I'll sum it up right quick....

 

Right now....

 

I JUST HATE EVERYTHING AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE....INCLUDING MYSELF!

 

This *SUCKS*!

[[wh...]]

I am back to wanting to choke the dr again...seems like the better I feel the more I want to choke him..maybe my emotions are coming back...

[[Be...]]

I want to sue the shit out of the Big Pharma group and get tons of money from them for damages and then be at the trial when they are taken away in handcuffs and thrown in prison.  I'll personally throw the key away so they never get out.  I'm so effing sick.  My stomach feels like it's going to explode tonight.  I've been sick like this since I got off the benzo's and Z-drugs 3.5 years ago.  I'm getting worse and dying. 

[[be...]]

Redevan, thank you for starting this thread, it helps to have a place for all buddies to Vent.

Well beside being furious this morning at the problems these  pills keep on giving, I now have to hold a little longer, as my dizzies is not going away and I do not feel safe today going for a walk and least of all driving the floor is beckoning me and I have felt I was ready for a face plant, I know  how I feel with my Meniere's disease, this is plain old Benzo trouble, as I remember it well from my first two tapers. I knew I was going to have some problems but I have to be able to take care of my Diabetes and keep upright, and so I up dosed a small amt this morning and will hold at this dose for a while and then will try to get down to my goal for this taper, I was able to do .9mg, and my goal was to do half of .25mg, not far, but I'll be dam if I allow myself to fall and get sicker, I will hold, in fact I will hold as long as I think, I can not make the smaller cuts as well as when I was doing larger cuts, that is alright. I hate these  :sneaky: :sneaky:   pills, they are like the being on the edge of the pit of hell, now please know this is not the worse I have felt, but have not felt this bad since my failed tapers and if I do not heed this warning I am going to be in a world of trouble, it is hard to be by myself, but it is what it is, so I must be mindful to not try to push on while feeling like this. There are many here going through much worse and I Pray for them every day and My Special Friends that give me so much and put up with me I know they will not leave me. I may be alone in my real life, but here I have Silent Friends walking beside me and holding me. I have two Nephews here in Town, I would call if I needed to, but otherwise, they are busy and they do keep in contact, for that I am thankful. I got my warm throw out and I am going to my comfry chair and I will try to do the best I can today, maybe later after lunch I can take a small walk, and I must get back to climbing the stairs, but not gonna happen for a while. There I feel better writing down my angst, and as I go through this day I will also Pray for Healing for all and myself..

[[re...]]

You did the right thing, updosing a bit. There's no rush.

Just keep pushing and you'll give birth to yourself eventually.

[[be...]]

You did the right thing, updosing a bit. There's no rush.

Just keep pushing and you'll give birth to yourself eventually.

Thanks Evan, I see I need to listen to my body and not dismiss warnings.

[[Fa...]]

I am not in the worst of moods today but I want to make sure I can easily find this when needed!

 

I am frickin tired of being told temazapam is one of the easiest to get off of when I live in a h$&@ of a condition.

 

I am frickin tired of the scale, the powder the whole nonsense of tapering!!

 

The last thing I want to do is take that dam pill every night if I don't I'd be in even worse shape.

 

I agree these dr's should have to go through benzo w/d and I'll tell them we need to check your thyroid, your hormones, let's do an MRI, a cat scan....let me just poke and prod you until the life is sucked out of you. Oh and by the way here's some therapy, oh and you may have pstd.......no sh$t Sherlock after what I have been through I don't doubt it!!

 

Whew I guess I did need to release a little......hey thanks for this thread!!

[[wh...]]

I am back to wanting to choke the dr. 

[[Fa...]]

I am sick of feeling the fear this crap causes!

I am sick of Brain Fog....give me my head back!

Let me get a good night sleep isn't that what this crap is for!

 

[[Bi...]]

:muscle: :boxer: :pokey: :wacko: :sneaky: :muscle: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff:

 

Whew, feel a little better.

[[Po...]]

Redevan, thank you for starting this thread, it helps to have a place for all buddies to Vent.

Well beside being furious this morning at the problems these  pills keep on giving, I now have to hold a little longer, as my dizzies is not going away and I do not feel safe today going for a walk and least of all driving the floor is beckoning me and I have felt I was ready for a face plant, I know  how I feel with my Meniere's disease, this is plain old Benzo trouble, as I remember it well from my first two tapers. I knew I was going to have some problems but I have to be able to take care of my Diabetes and keep upright, and so I up dosed a small amt this morning and will hold at this dose for a while and then will try to get down to my goal for this taper, I was able to do .9mg, and my goal was to do half of .25mg, not far, but I'll be dam if I allow myself to fall and get sicker, I will hold, in fact I will hold as long as I think, I can not make the smaller cuts as well as when I was doing larger cuts, that is alright. I hate these  :sneaky: :sneaky:   pills, they are like the being on the edge of the pit of hell, now please know this is not the worse I have felt, but have not felt this bad since my failed tapers and if I do not heed this warning I am going to be in a world of trouble, it is hard to be by myself, but it is what it is, so I must be mindful to not try to push on while feeling like this. There are many here going through much worse and I Pray for them every day and My Special Friends that give me so much and put up with me I know they will not leave me. I may be alone in my real life, but here I have Silent Friends walking beside me and holding me. I have two Nephews here in Town, I would call if I needed to, but otherwise, they are busy and they do keep in contact, for that I am thankful. I got my warm throw out and I am going to my comfry chair and I will try to do the best I can today, maybe later after lunch I can take a small walk, and I must get back to climbing the stairs, but not gonna happen for a while. There I feel better writing down my angst, and as I go through this day I will also Pray for Healing for all and myself..

 

Please use a larger font size.  This one is kinda hard to read.  Thanks

[[Li...]]

FUCK INSOMNIA

[[Po...]]

Wish I'd learn to keep my mouth shut and not make comments on anyone's posting.  I always seem to regret it afterwards because I don't mean it the way I say it.  With everything so horrid now, think I will just lay low.

[[be...]]

Popcorn Lady, Everything is OK, please do not worry, I am glad you posted something, I am just going to use that font on my Blog, I am going to use this one on regular posting, Please, you like me need to post, we are going through  horrible things from Benzo's.

 

I have to Vent I am living in the USA, and this Evening Micro Soft took away my decision not to upgrade to Windows 10, and I am furious how dare they, and they did dare me and Hijacked my commuter, and I had been noticing funny things going on with my laptop for a while, so after working on getting back and putting my stuff where I want, I am just really mad, but makes me think Big Brother is always lurking around. :tickedoff:

[[Be...]]

Microsoft sucks.  My security updates haven't worked since March because their damn servers are hogging up the Windows 10 updates.  I hate Microsoft.  Also, to vent. . . . My  life completely sucks and I hate every single second of it.