7 months

[[Go...]]

Today is 7 months since C/T.  In the past two weeks, I've had a few moments, where things seemed a little more hopeful.  Still not what I think you might be referring to as windows??  The fear is still there during these moments, it's just a little "less" if that makes any sense.  Then I have moments again where the fear is worse than before.  I certainly cant work like this and I'm running out of money.  The thoughts keep telling me life doesn't get any better, which it hasn't since I C/T'd.  Just because I have a few moments of lessened panic doesn't give me much hope.  Is this what people talk about when they refer to "being healed"??  Do you still have constant anxiety and fear, but just at a little less level of intensity? 

[[Ha...]]

Those moments you are referring to are the start of windows. Those moments will become longer and you'll feel better and better in those times. Being healed is when you are living in those moments 24/7 symptom free. If you didn't have fear and anxiety before, you won't have them after. Life will be normal. Just keep going mate, think of those moments when things ease off. That's a sign your healing 

[[Go...]]

So Windows aren't meant to feel better, just "less crappy"?  I only say that because even in the moments referred to, I still have fear.  It just seems to be a little easily distracted?? if that makes sense??  It's just very difficult to describe any improvement, and I feel like if I do, I'll jinx any future feelings!!

[[Go...]]

Unfortunately, I had a lot of anxiety before.  That's why I started the K.

[[Ha...]]

It's a period of less intense symptoms. It all depends on where you're starting from. So someone who tapered might get windows of feeling pretty good, even normal . But as you've CT'd your symptoms are going to be more severe. Your windows will eventually be like that, until your windows have you feeling normal. It's a gradual thing. I personally don't get complete windows of feeling normal, but I feel ok more than I feel shit now.

[[al...]]

I am currently going through a highly stressful situation unrelated to withdrawal, but I had plenty of experience with withdrawal anxiety in the past, however. If you are not familiar with the parasympathetic nervous system, it might be good to read about its importance and how to strengthen it. Lately I have been doing a lot of belly breathing exercises. Filling your lungs from the belly is supposed to stimulate the vagus nerve creating a calming effect. I inhale filling my belly on a silent count to 4, hold it for a count to 7 and exhale to count of 9. I do this while driving since the counting does not distract from safe driving. The more you do, the more potential for positive impact. The counting also serves as a form of meditation since it focuses you away from other negative thoughts. This is NOT a cure-all, but it can be somewhat helpful. 

[[Th...]]

Unfortunately 7 months is "sort of early" in the process of healing and recovery.  Windows are periods of feeling less crappy or even feeling normal or anywhere in between.  You'll get better.  It just take more time than you'd like it too.  But the best thing to do is do not put a timeframe on when you think you should feel better.  Because when that doesn't happen, it will only make things worse.  It is what it is and it ends when it ends. 

[[gr...]]

I also practice deep breathing at times, especially when I become really angry or waking up in the night with anxiety. It helps. I also will listen to a  favorite music tune and close my eyes. WD is the most difficult experience I have ever had, but like I repeatedly say, I really feel awake now. At times that doesn't feel so great. Yet, I can communicate far better and be more honest.