Thoughts on Benzo-induced PTSD

[[fe...]]

Hello Buddies,

I'm not sure how else to describe the effect of benzos on people other than PTSD. What I'm talking about in specific is the thought/ fact that any and all things can have terrible consequences during the withdrawal/ tapering (and sometimes it seems post-tapering) process. My husband describes this as waiting for "the next grand piano to fall on your head". The terrible symptoms he experiences stay vividly with him after the symptoms begin to abate. Is it still "catastrophizing" if you have experienced a horrific effect from something that should have helped... or should not have harmed you, at least. 

Recovery from PTSD requires a sense of safety and the assurance that something is behind the person and can no longer harm them; that in the "here and now" they are safe. That's not something that can really be said during this process. You are not out of the woods until you have cleared the woods and are far far from that part of your life's landscape. When my husband experiences these ups and down while he's trying to stabilize after this latest mess, he carries all that went wrong in him, has flashbacks to terrible moments he has experienced, nightmares... all those things that indicate trauma. It makes sense to me. This is traumatic.

I do believe in healing- I see it with people every day here. The success stories matter so much. However, I would like to ask you guys what type of coping strategies you used to deal with the thought or occurrence of those "grand pianos" falling on you? How do you cope with the thought that anything can cause you unexpected harm and a major setback? That nothing may truly be innocuous and you don't know when things will be back to not hurting you?

[[Th...]]

In my experience, WD and symptoms only mimic PTSD and are not truly PTSD in the traditional sense?  Healing does and will happen given enough time.  Coping strategies work, but can be difficult to implement and believe.  I had a mantra that I would repeat daily..."I'm healing, I am well, I can sleep."  In addition, I learned how to meditate.  Instead of "fighting" symptoms, "embrace" them.  Everything is "OK."  I acted like all of my symptoms were happening to someone else and I was just observing them as an "outsider."  This is not easy to do and took me some time (months and months).  Eventually windows began to appear and that gave me more confidence that I was healing and would be "normal" again one day.  However, it's actually a WD symptom to think the worst and be super negative and believe the lie that you'll never heal.

I was very weak mentally when my WD started, but learned to become mentally strong over time.  It's a process, just like healing and recovery.

Good luck.

[[Br...]]

 

Feelberlin hello .

I had PTSD symptoms in an exaggerated and literally castrophic way. When we are trapped in these symptoms everything becomes too much for our senses... Thoughts, smells, visions. Triggers the thoughts of Panic and fear that we are going crazy like an endless loop... When I had this I was petrified but I tried to calm myself down and one way to alleviate these past guilt feelings was to search the BenzoBuddies forums and other forums. I found withdrawal coach Jennifer Leigh who has several posts about PTSD or Intrusive Thoughts. Here are links to several posts about it:
https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/for-bwd-bind-sufferers/coping-skills/ten-things-to-do-when-you-have-intrusive-memories/

https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/for-bwd-bind-sufferers/coping-skills/coping-with-intrusive-thoughts/

https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/for-bwd-bind-sufferers/recovery/how-to-cope-with-intrusive-thoughts-in-benzo-withdrawal/

https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/for-bwd-bind-sufferers/coping-skills/intrusive-thoughts-revisited/

I wish your husband and you well.
Hugs from Brazil, Rio de Janeiro. 

 

[[Tr...]]

Would really love to know how to cope.

My dentist needs my doc to sign off on the anesthetic she'll use on me. Next Saturday, I will meet a neurotoxicologist for this. I've been gaslit, told that I read too much online stuff ("You're not a doctor, trust the doctor"), and in the first place got in this mess because I was very obedient to my psychiatrist. So yes, I have HUGE anxiety for the neurotox visit. I am scared she'll pressure me to take more brain drugs, etc etc.

My body has been bracing for impact for DAYS. Gut clench, muscle clench, agitation. And then it feeds anxiety and depression loops. 

[[fe...]]

Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts. I think it may help if I clarify further why I'm asking about PTSD and how someone can cope:

My husband experienced akathisia for almost a year because of inert medication that caused an unintentional CT. There were times that he could not eat or sleep for 5 days and would get to a point that he could barely drink. The horror of that remains in him, so every time that he has trouble sleeping/ eating/ drinking he experiences flashback and emotionally reliving the akathisia nightmare.

We discovered the CT because I had to bring him to the ER. He had gotten so weak because of not eating/ drinking/ sleeping that I was terrified. At that time, 2020, psychiatrists are booked for months and his prescriber decided he could not prescribe anymore. The ER advised that the best way for him to see a psychiatrist and get a new prescription was to "voluntarily" go to an inpatient facility, because it is "different if you go there voluntarily" and the doctor would send notes explaining that my husband was looking to reinstate, not fast taper or anything like that. It made no difference. After we got there, they tried to detain him, withheld medication, tried to make him sign a BLANK treatment plan. I'm not sure how he held it together in a way that made it impossible for them to keep him, but his fitbit had him above 160 bpm for 16 hours that day. He was out of there within 12 hours but at times he tells me that it feels like he's suddenly back there, so vividly that he can smell the disinfectant that they used.

The second CT because of issues with the medication further compounded the problem. Then there was an issue with the compound; then his psychiatrist switched him to ODT and directed him to try a homebrew option; when that did not work he was switched back to the compound. He tried cyproheptadine successfully 3 times, then the 4th time it caused terrible akathisia symptoms.

The events themselves are so scary for me as an external observer... I won't even pretend that I can imagine how it feels. What is worse though is that the medication that is supposed to help him has turned on him and hurt him, which  negates any sense of safety and stability.

How can someone cope with the trauma of these events when the "safety" medications (benzos or a rescue medication like cyproheptadine) have proven not safe to use?

[[Th...]]

I am sorry your husband had that experience and is still dealing with it today.  That is the "paradox" of Benzos.  Most of the issues the medical professionals claim can be treated with a Benzo ultimately make that issue much worse.  I took Benzos for sleep.  At first they worked great!  Then I quickly reached tolerance and had to increase my dose in order to get the same effect. Eventually they stopped working even at 4mg or more per night of Xanax.  My doctor told me I wasn't on Benzos long enough to have a seizure (the main concern for a CT) so I should just stop taking them.  I followed his advice and when I did, I too stayed awake for 5 nights in a row.  I went for months on 5-10 hours of sleep per week.  I visited 4 different ERs in 4 different cities and all of the ER doctors said it couldn't be WD as the drugs were out of my system.  Thank God I found Benzobuddies and learned the "truth."  Over the years, I learned that most doctors won't even recognize Benzo WD and even if they do, they claim symptoms only last 2-4 weeks.  It's important to find a Benzo-wise doctor and/or counselor that can help you through this process if you cannot do it on your own.

Unfortunately there is little in the way of relief for symptoms short of another Rx drug.  The only way to cope is each minute, each hour and each day.  I resolved to not rely on any Rx drug unless it could save my life.  Some people have success with an AD or Gabapentin to help ease symptoms and symptom intensity.  You have to decide what is best for your husband.  I'd look into the Ashton Manual for advice and ways to cope.  Time is the healer and the nice thing about time is it always passes no matter what. 

Good luck.

[[Na...]]

I have come to believe that PTSD may be at play in some people with protracted withdrawal issues. Perhaps even people who's problems aren't as protracted - maybe they just resolve their PTSD issues more quickly.

If you're on benzos your anxiety/stress response is very distorted due to the effects of the drug on your central nervous system. That in an of itself might set the stage for a PTSD like situation.

And then tapering and discontinuing can be so mentally and physically traumatic that to say it is akin to being tortured isn't hyperbole.  So if the distortions in your stress response while you're taking the drug don't set you up for PTSD, the agony of withdrawal for some might be so intense that the withdrawal itself might be a PTSD generating event. 

I'm 8 years out from quitting my drugs, and still have issues. I'm starting to investigate whether approaching this as a PTSD issue might lead the way to some improvement.

[[Li...]]

Perhaps of interest @[Na...] …

Drs. Josef and Marissa Witt-Doerring just posted a video yesterday about PTSD:

Everything to know about PTSD | Treatment Options, Risks & Medication Side Effects
https://youtu.be/xzsnv9q_ths

[[Ti...]]

Hi Nathan, I am deeply concerned I have severe PTSD. I was always told that any trauma leaves when you heal, however now I’m so over reactive from coping with this and all the debilitating stress reactions and what that is doing, I just don’t know. I used to talk to a lady who was like this too,  constantly and healed. She had no windows, so I lived in hope. She would say I was just like you. I’ve lost contact with her and finding that hard etc
 

I’m just finding I can handle stress less and less and am bombarded with it. I’ve always been a worrier, overthinker, perfectionist  so all that ‘worries’ me too idk. I always face my stressors quivering,  yet the payback is so devastating and it’s like my body is unable to cope and it’s is scary.  I try not to focus on this all the time but am in need of constant reassurance I’m not alone, more so than the beginning. 

[[Ti...]]

Also this is my first comment here in a long while, it wasn’t serving me being here and I find it very overstimulating reading now. I just popped in which I haven’t in a while and found all the changes so overwhelming too. I know I was not as trauma reactive at first as I am now, but I of course always have been very triggered and stress reactive in this……  its just more pronounced and I cannot hide it anymore etc.  I think my confidence that was never great but I was ok, is shot and the grief very deep. 

[[Ca...]]

On 07/08/2023 at 21:19, [[N...] said:

I have come to believe that PTSD may be at play in some people with protracted withdrawal issues. Perhaps even people who's problems aren't as protracted - maybe they just resolve their PTSD issues more quickly.

If you're on benzos your anxiety/stress response is very distorted due to the effects of the drug on your central nervous system. That in an of itself might set the stage for a PTSD like situation.

And then tapering and discontinuing can be so mentally and physically traumatic that to say it is akin to being tortured isn't hyperbole.  So if the distortions in your stress response while you're taking the drug don't set you up for PTSD, the agony of withdrawal for some might be so intense that the withdrawal itself might be a PTSD generating event. 

I'm 8 years out from quitting my drugs, and still have issues. I'm starting to investigate whether approaching this as a PTSD issue might lead the way to some improvement.

I tend agree, PTSD from w/d can be an actual thing. Happened with dreams I've had that really seemed to have a lasting impact on my psyche I can't get shed of. I go around with "butterflies" in my stomach all the time, as if I'm in deep trouble, still 7 yrs out. The whole Benzo ordeal just seems to expose our worst fears, upon what looks like layers of ego, like a snail without it's shell, under the open sun, where my confidence, sense of well-being gets stood on it's head.