Greetings from BMC I jumped May 8 and doing great

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Hello to this forum that saved my life. Its hard for me to reconcile that at this time last year I was just beginning to realize the trouble I was in. By the time I was cleaning up after Christmas I was in full blown Xanax withdrawal. The months that followed were so surreal that I feel like it was a movie I watched not actually experienced. But it happened and I tapered and I am on the other side.

 

I want to say to anyone new here: every story is different. My taper was pretty fast. This does not have to be years. When I first came here I panicked because I thought it would be the worst case scenario. It wasn't. Here are some thoughts I hope will help:

 

I had the luxury of being self employed. That meant I could be weird, twitchy and paranoid in private. I spent enormous amounts of time walking. walking walking walking. I think that helped rebuild GABA, took away that edgy feeling in my body, helped me learn that even though I couldn't feel my legs they were functioning as always but my brain just couldn't accept that - or feel that. POINT BEING sensation isn't reality.

 

Panic attacks: make yourself cold. Put face in ice water. get in cold stream. take a cold shower. go outside in winter and stay out.

 

In fact, be outside as much as possible. Get that good sweet Vitamin D. try not to be confined. Dont live in clutter. You need open and airy.

 

Just because you set a taper schedule doesn't mean you have to follow it. I started cutting down faster than I planned. I could feel that my body was ready. Also dont make it harder than it needs to be. I never switched meds (like in Ashton) or did liquid tritiation I just shaved my pills until at the end my last dose was a very unscientific "pinky of powder". this is just my opinion but over ritualizing your drug schedule makes it too big in your life. Benzo withdrawal is not you. Its just something you have to correct. Try not to feed it's power.

 

It's december 7 2022. I am healed. Now and then I have a little temporary "flashback" of that edgy body buzz and I still have panic attacks but they are minor, and I know what it is, so I just wait for it to pass and it does.

 

You can do this. Don't be afraid.

 

Merry Christmas.

 

 

 

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Love this and awesome job!!! <3

[[je...]]

What lovely news! I'm so happy for you!

[Guest [Su...]]

Congratulations BMC! Do you possibly remember when it began to let-up, when you could function better? Specifically: month 3??? I’m really really struggling….

Thank you 🙏

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Love this and awesome job!!! <3

 

Thank you!! 

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What lovely news! I'm so happy for you!

Heyyy Jelly! Thanks a million. feels good.

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Congratulations BMC! Do you possibly remember when it began to let-up, when you could function better? Specifically: month 3??? I’m really really struggling….

Thank you 🙏

 

sent you PM. Youre gonna make it. you will. It started letting up around first week of April. That was month 4. it would only take another 40 days. and it was not a big event. it just ended. and I was kind of shell shocked but i just didnt take any X and nothing terrible happened. not strokes, no up dosing. just a quiet finish. although I wept often in gratitude and relief. LOLthen over the next months I just got less weirded out and self conscious.

[[Pa...]]

Its so good to hear from you, thanks for providing these valuable tips.  Long ago you mentioned your legs and walking, you said they felt weird but that didn't matter, you just kept putting one foot in front of the other so the sensation or lack of it didn't matter.  This seemed like a really important observation, we need to trust our body to perform even if our brain is telling us it can't, you found a way to keep moving which was so important for your recovery. 

 

[[Sc...]]

I jumped on August, please give me some inspiration guys, I am getting depression like crushing and chest pain like having an attack. I don't feel like I can do this..

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I jumped on August, please give me some inspiration guys, I am getting depression like crushing and chest pain like having an attack. I don't feel like I can do this..

 

Hi Scared Cat. I really feel for you. I had a lot of heart palpitations, racing heart, which panicked me, I did improve with Magnesium supplementation. I use "heart Calm". Don't know if that will help with chest pain, but most people are magnesium deficient. Have you gone all this time without reinstating? Then congratulations you are incredibly strong. You are going to make it. Stay the course. Perception isn't necessarily reality. Be outside as much as you can. In sunlight. Be well, Cat.