The Long Hold Support Group

[[jr...]]

 

Hi JR,

 

I'm at .28mg Xanax having tapered from a high dose.  I'm about 6 months behind you and wanted to ask how the lower levels are going for you?  Did you have wd all the way down?  Is it still as intense?  Just trying to get an idea what I'm in for!

 

I'll be going to liquid at some point but hopefully not until I'm reaching the end.  Thanks for the insight!

 

I was doing great until march when I took too large a cut. I updosed and held for a month and started a liquid taper. I still have sxs but they are manageable. I am hoping to be off around the end of the year.

 

[[jr...]]

If anyone can answer this... Would be great and I probably already asked it too....

 

if you are paradoxical to a drug after reinstating ... How do you get off of it ? And better yet could a hold help it?    I'm so sick and unwell..... Feel like I'm not going to make it......severe physical and mental for far too long.... Spirit inside is slowly dying..... I'm pretty much in constant hell 24/7 but in varying intensities......

 

If  I asked this already,,,, I don't think I did..... Forgive me.... My memory isn't so great.....

 

Thank you all for feedback and most of all kindness.....

 

how many times a day are you dosing? and how much?

[[Va...]]

If anyone can answer this... Would be great and I probably already asked it too....

 

if you are paradoxical to a drug after reinstating ... How do you get off of it ? And better yet could a hold help it?    I'm so sick and unwell..... Feel like I'm not going to make it......severe physical and mental for far too long.... Spirit inside is slowly dying..... I'm pretty much in constant hell 24/7 but in varying intensities......

 

If  I asked this already,,,, I don't think I did..... Forgive me.... My memory isn't so great.....

 

Thank you all for feedback and most of all kindness.....

Hi Please. Could you describe paradoxical so I understand what you mean? I'm not sure how you are defining it so I'm hesitant to answer your question. Thanks.  --V

[[Pl...]]

If anyone can answer this... Would be great and I probably already asked it too....

 

if you are paradoxical to a drug after reinstating ... How do you get off of it ? And better yet could a hold help it?    I'm so sick and unwell..... Feel like I'm not going to make it......severe physical and mental for far too long.... Spirit inside is slowly dying..... I'm pretty much in constant hell 24/7 but in varying intensities......

 

If  I asked this already,,,, I don't think I did..... Forgive me.... My memory isn't so great.....

 

Thank you all for feedback and most of all kindness.....

 

how many times a day are you dosing? and how much?

 

Hey jr.. . I dose 3 times a day 9am 5:00pm and 1:00am equal to .94 mg of generic kolonopin...... Extremely sedating for me.... bad..didnt realize until it was too late..... But too dependent on the dose to reduce to quickly....

 

Original benzo was ativan .....sporadic user... Reinstated on longer lasting kolonopin with hopes of stabilizing physical symptoms (which it did slightly) to do a proper taper....

[[sk...]]

I hope I don't get flamed for asking this question, but it's a logical question for me anyways. 

 

At the start of my taper, I found myself doing a rapid c/o to just 10mg of Valium from 1.5mg of Xanax after over 8 years of use.  I crossed over in 2 weeks, and at the end of that 2 weeks, I took on my first 2.5mg Valium cut.  Threw me into hell.  Reinstated to 10mg of Valium for another week, felt pretty much 'ok' and cut 2.5mg.  I held for just over 3 weeks, and say a 50% improvement in symptoms.  Said hell with it, cut to 7mg, felt great!  Cut to 6 a few days later, had minor symptoms for 2 days, felt great again, cut to 5.5mg... after my body's lag, which i've found hits me on day 3, i feel great after... no matter how long i hold.  I cut again to 5mg, had a few minor issues the day after, i'm waiting for my lag to catch up, but when lag day hits, and passes, and I start feeling great again... what's the benefit of holding? 

 

Dr Ashton has said the last 1mg is the hardest because the person fears what life will be like being benzo free or something like that... So with that said, am I just the odd duck that can cut rather quickly, will they 'stack up', or, i hesitate to ask this, but is the 'long hold' to feel better just because of fear of cutting again?  Fear has been proven to produce symptoms, and your mind WILL do what it has to do to protect itself, and since we've all been on benzo's for however long, could the brain be firing off false positives preying on the fears of the 'horror stories' on this board, to ensure it gets its benzo?  I'm just confused by the entire thing.

 

Like if I was at 1mg, and held for 3 months, and symptoms were still gnarly, at that point, why not just jump?  I mean, you can't truly fully heal until the benzo is eliminated from your body, so why not jump and brave the storm that may be caused by a paradoxical effect affect anyways? 

 

Sometimes I wonder if i'm having less symptoms the lower I get because this entire time it was fully paradoxical.  If that's the case, since it hasn't been studied by professionals, has anyone found that to be true?  So many folks here have cut down, feeling horrible all the way down, but jump, and feel free.  Like, post jump they feel healed even though getting down was the hardest thing they've ever done.  Any insight?

[[Va...]]

I hope I don't get flamed for asking this question, but it's a logical question for me anyways. 

 

At the start of my taper, I found myself doing a rapid c/o to just 10mg of Valium from 1.5mg of Xanax after over 8 years of use.  I crossed over in 2 weeks, and at the end of that 2 weeks, I took on my first 2.5mg Valium cut.  Threw me into hell.  Reinstated to 10mg of Valium for another week, felt pretty much 'ok' and cut 2.5mg.  I held for just over 3 weeks, and say a 50% improvement in symptoms.  Said hell with it, cut to 7mg, felt great!  Cut to 6 a few days later, had minor symptoms for 2 days, felt great again, cut to 5.5mg... after my body's lag, which i've found hits me on day 3, i feel great after... no matter how long i hold.  I cut again to 5mg, had a few minor issues the day after, i'm waiting for my lag to catch up, but when lag day hits, and passes, and I start feeling great again... what's the benefit of holding? 

 

Dr Ashton has said the last 1mg is the hardest because the person fears what life will be like being benzo free or something like that... So with that said, am I just the odd duck that can cut rather quickly, will they 'stack up', or, i hesitate to ask this, but is the 'long hold' to feel better just because of fear of cutting again?  Fear has been proven to produce symptoms, and your mind WILL do what it has to do to protect itself, and since we've all been on benzo's for however long, could the brain be firing off false positives preying on the fears of the 'horror stories' on this board, to ensure it gets its benzo?  I'm just confused by the entire thing.

 

Like if I was at 1mg, and held for 3 months, and symptoms were still gnarly, at that point, why not just jump?  I mean, you can't truly fully heal until the benzo is eliminated from your body, so why not jump and brave the storm that may be caused by a paradoxical effect affect anyways? 

 

Sometimes I wonder if i'm having less symptoms the lower I get because this entire time it was fully paradoxical.  If that's the case, since it hasn't been studied by professionals, has anyone found that to be true?  So many folks here have cut down, feeling horrible all the way down, but jump, and feel free.  Like, post jump they feel healed even though getting down was the hardest thing they've ever done.  Any insight?

Hi Skittles. You'll never get flamed here. I've seen many who crossover to V that are able to taper rapidly without many issues. I'm not sure why. After having been on V for four years myself, I've found I can't rush it.  I have to work so I have to remain functional. It's taken me this long to stabilize and I don't have any fear of getting off. In fact I rushed at the start and that's why I've had to hold so long. Some are able to taper off without much trouble and I would never recommend a long hold to those that can. A long hold does work for those who have a more difficult time. There are others who say continuing to cut helps them. With benzos there isn't one right way to get off. It takes experimenting to find what works best.  --V

[[Pl...]]

If anyone can answer this... Would be great and I probably already asked it too....

 

if you are paradoxical to a drug after reinstating ... How do you get off of it ? And better yet could a hold help it?    I'm so sick and unwell..... Feel like I'm not going to make it......severe physical and mental for far too long.... Spirit inside is slowly dying..... I'm pretty much in constant hell 24/7 but in varying intensities......

 

If  I asked this already,,,, I don't think I did..... Forgive me.... My memory isn't so great.....

 

Thank you all for feedback and most of all kindness.....

Hi Please. Could you describe paradoxical so I understand what you mean? I'm not sure how you are defining it so I'm hesitant to answer your question. Thanks.  --V

 

Hi v....thanks for responding....I feel the opposite of what the drug should do.... Kind of like adverse..... Severe anxiety..... Nervousness.... Panic... Very revved up physically....  Like more of a chemical anxiety.....But my mind feels very slow....

[[sk...]]

 

Hi v....thanks for responding....I feel the opposite of what the drug should do.... Kind of like adverse..... Severe anxiety..... Nervousness.... Panic... Very revved up physically....  Like more of a chemical anxiety.....But my mind feels very slow....

 

That's how I was feeling, which was what got me thinking, and talking with my pdoc, and whatnot, I wonder if the Valium as the 'benzo' part has helped curb the gnarly Xanax withdrawal, and now that Xanax is gone, for me anyways, do I just not need Valium anymore? 

 

I get that long holds work, but could that be simply because the brain says 'forget it, this is all im getting'... and lets go of the symptoms?  It sounds like a double edged sword in all honesty.  I mean, taper down, get thrust into withdrawal hell, recover, taper again, hell again, hold, heal, repeat.... That's where I question the validity of the loooong holds.  Again, I'm sorry if i'm just that uneducated in the long hold thing, but, why would one want to subject themselves to so many repeat holds, and not just safely push off?

[[sk...]]

OR is it because the longer holds are better for those that were started and stayed on Valium?  Maybe it's different for those of us that crossed over from a different benzo, to valium, and once, lets say xanax, has ran its course, and been eliminated from our bodies, we no longer 'need' valium, but just the actual 'benzo' chemical and taper and go?

[[Kg...]]

Skittle one thing with Valium you should know it lasts a long time in your body.  IMHO I would hold for 2 weeks before another cut to see how you feel.  If all is fine then go ahead and get off as fast as you can and be happy you are one of the lucky ones.  I just don't want these cuts to catch up with you and hit you as sometimes Valium hits people twice once around where you are feeling it and once again about 10- 2 weeks out - so better safe then sorry.  Ashton has 2 week holds for a reason - that is because most people get hit somewhere in this time frame with the cut.  There is no benefit to holding at all if you feel fine.  For most people how you feel with your cuts is how you will feel off of the benzo.  So if you are s/x free at the end chances are you will feel the same once off.  I am hoping we have a lucky person here - that would be great. 

[[Pl...]]

 

Hi v....thanks for responding....I feel the opposite of what the drug should do.... Kind of like adverse..... Severe anxiety..... Nervousness.... Panic... Very revved up physically....  Like more of a chemical anxiety.....But my mind feels very slow....

 

That's how I was feeling, which was what got me thinking, and talking with my pdoc, and whatnot, I wonder if the Valium as the 'benzo' part has helped curb the gnarly Xanax withdrawal, and now that Xanax is gone, for me anyways, do I just not need Valium anymore? 

 

I get that long holds work, but could that be simply because the brain says 'forget it, this is all im getting'... and lets go of the symptoms?  It sounds like a double edged sword in all honesty.  I mean, taper down, get thrust into withdrawal hell, recover, taper again, hell again, hold, heal, repeat.... That's where I question the validity of the loooong holds.  Again, I'm sorry if i'm just that uneducated in the long hold thing, but, why would one want to subject themselves to so many repeat holds, and not just safely push off?

 

Skittles....thanks for your input too.... so does that mean as you've gotten lower that you are feeling better?  that would give me an idea since you've experienced the same thing...,.

 

This is the part I haven't figured out yet.... and I think v is right.... it kind of depends on the person and what's going on and trying to figure it out....

 

 

[[Pl...]]

Skittle one thing with Valium you should know it lasts a long time in your body.  IMHO I would hold for 2 weeks before another cut to see how you feel.  If all is fine then go ahead and get off as fast as you can and be happy you are one of the lucky ones.  I just don't want these cuts to catch up with you and hit you as sometimes Valium hits people twice once around where you are feeling it and once again about 10- 2 weeks out - so better safe then sorry.  Ashton has 2 week holds for a reason - that is because most people get hit somewhere in this time frame with the cut.  There is no benefit to holding at all if you feel fine.  For most people how you feel with your cuts is how you will feel off of the benzo.  So if you are s/x free at the end chances are you will feel the same once off.  I am hoping we have a lucky person here - that would be great.

 

Kgirl.... My situation is different as I am a cold turkey rapid detox case who reinstated 10 months later on a different benzo.....  I am very symptomatic but feel paradoxical....what would you do in my position?  I'm so scared..... I can't stand the way kolonopin makes me feel.... But trying to keep the balance between physical symptoms not escalating and hoping adverse reaction will abate as I get lower?  Don't know if possible.... Your thoughts?  Thank you....

 

Just wanted to add that the k did help in softening my prior physical symptoms but I just can't stand the way it makes me feel and just not sure about how to proceed.....desperately want to get lower to hopefully feel more clarity.... Help....

 

I'm very scared all my physical is permanent.... :'(

[[sk...]]

Skittles....thanks for your input too.... so does that mean as you've gotten lower that you are feeling better?  that would give me an idea since you've experienced the same thing...,.

 

This is the part I haven't figured out yet.... and I think v is right.... it kind of depends on the person and what's going on and trying to figure it out....

 

That's what i'm saying.  When I first c/o'd from Xanax to only 10mg of Valium, I suffered bad.  At the end of the crossover, I was told to cut 2.5mg.  I couldn't hold that for 3 days, and reinstated back to 10mg of Valium.  After about another week, things got 'tolerable' and I cut again to 7.5mg.  After over 3 weeks of holding, things didn't get much better, so I cut to 7mg.  Things went well, until the 3rd day, got a few symptoms, and the 4th and 5 days were blissful.  So I cut again down to 6mg.  Again, got smacked on day 3, faded away after day 4, held for 2 days just incase, felt even better, and cut again to 5.5mg.  Again, day 3 was a little 'off' but not as bad as the previous day 3.  So on day 4, I had a great day, and cut.  I'm now at 5mg.  This is day 2, but it'll be night 3.  Tomorrow, my day should be the 'off' day.  But the waves hit less in severity, and less often.  I've had more windows than waves since i've started this different form of rapid taper and seriously feel better and better the lower i get.  Example, last night I felt like I had taken 4mg of Xanax I was so laid back.  I mean, it's seriously weird.

 

As far as what Dr Ashton says, her chart shows 1mg every 1-2 weeks.  My taper is roughly 1mg every 7-10 days.  It's just about on par for Dr Ashton, just modified to fit me.  As far as the half life is concerned, i'm less worried about that because, again, I've taken Xanax for over 8 years, and have had dozens of UA's, and tested NEG for benzo's every single time.  Almost to the point where the doc asked me to take a Xanax in front of him, he kept me for a day, had a UA done with a monitor there, making sure it was me, and still popped negative.  I guess i'm a rapid metabolizer of benzo's?  Maybe? 

 

I honestly don't know what to say, but at this point, i've found my groove.  I have found what works for me, and i'm sticking with it.  I'm not going to worry about holding, or the 'stack up' thing catching me.  Personally, there's no clinical proof that the half lives 'stack up' and hit you all at once.  Chemicals don't wait around until they 'stack up' and come all at once just because you hold.  I believe firmly it's mind over matter in a lot of cases.  Maybe that's why some people can go faster than others because they simply don't care to believe everything they read.

 

Also, Dr Ashton clearly says at the end of the taper the hardest part of 'jumping' is the fear of what things will be like without benzo's.  Personally i believe that is a true fear for a lot of folks.  I also think the brain is way stronger than anyone gives it credit for.  Like the old saying goes, you can think yourself sick, and think yourself better.  Mind over matter. 

 

I don't care if someone has to taper over 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks, or 10 days.  I think tapering needs to be done, but the 'pace' or 'rate' one needs to taper is all up to the individual person.  I don't buy into the 'hold for 2 weeks' rule, or 'only cut 10%'.  Those are recommendations.  Some folks can tolerate 30% cuts, and some people can tolerate 2% cuts.  If I get to a point where I need to slow down, I might.  If i get stuck in a hold, so be it.  I was just more wondering what's the point of holding so long, just to plunge yourself back into hell, and not continue down so you can truly heal without benzos.

[[Pl...]]

Skittles....thanks for your input too.... so does that mean as you've gotten lower that you are feeling better?  that would give me an idea since you've experienced the same thing...,.

 

This is the part I haven't figured out yet.... and I think v is right.... it kind of depends on the person and what's going on and trying to figure it out....

 

That's what i'm saying.  When I first c/o'd from Xanax to only 10mg of Valium, I suffered bad.  At the end of the crossover, I was told to cut 2.5mg.  I couldn't hold that for 3 days, and reinstated back to 10mg of Valium.  After about another week, things got 'tolerable' and I cut again to 7.5mg.  After over 3 weeks of holding, things didn't get much better, so I cut to 7mg.  Things went well, until the 3rd day, got a few symptoms, and the 4th and 5 days were blissful.  So I cut again down to 6mg.  Again, got smacked on day 3, faded away after day 4, held for 2 days just incase, felt even better, and cut again to 5.5mg.  Again, day 3 was a little 'off' but not as bad as the previous day 3.  So on day 4, I had a great day, and cut.  I'm now at 5mg.  This is day 2, but it'll be night 3.  Tomorrow, my day should be the 'off' day.  But the waves hit less in severity, and less often.  I've had more windows than waves since i've started this different form of rapid taper and seriously feel better and better the lower i get.  Example, last night I felt like I had taken 4mg of Xanax I was so laid back.  I mean, it's seriously weird.

 

As far as what Dr Ashton says, her chart shows 1mg every 1-2 weeks.  My taper is roughly 1mg every 7-10 days.  It's just about on par for Dr Ashton, just modified to fit me.  As far as the half life is concerned, i'm less worried about that because, again, I've taken Xanax for over 8 years, and have had dozens of UA's, and tested NEG for benzo's every single time.  Almost to the point where the doc asked me to take a Xanax in front of him, he kept me for a day, had a UA done with a monitor there, making sure it was me, and still popped negative.  I guess i'm a rapid metabolizer of benzo's?  Maybe? 

 

I honestly don't know what to say, but at this point, i've found my groove.  I have found what works for me, and i'm sticking with it.  I'm not going to worry about holding, or the 'stack up' thing catching me.  Personally, there's no clinical proof that the half lives 'stack up' and hit you all at once.  Chemicals don't wait around until they 'stack up' and come all at once just because you hold.  I believe firmly it's mind over matter in a lot of cases.  Maybe that's why some people can go faster than others because they simply don't care to believe everything they read.

 

Also, Dr Ashton clearly says at the end of the taper the hardest part of 'jumping' is the fear of what things will be like without benzo's.  Personally i believe that is a true fear for a lot of folks.  I also think the brain is way stronger than anyone gives it credit for.  Like the old saying goes, you can think yourself sick, and think yourself better.  Mind over matter. 

 

I don't care if someone has to taper over 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks, or 10 days.  I think tapering needs to be done, but the 'pace' or 'rate' one needs to taper is all up to the individual person.  I don't buy into the 'hold for 2 weeks' rule, or 'only cut 10%'.  Those are recommendations.  Some folks can tolerate 30% cuts, and some people can tolerate 2% cuts.  If I get to a point where I need to slow down, I might.  If i get stuck in a hold, so be it.  I was just more wondering what's the point of holding so long, just to plunge yourself back into hell, and not continue down so you can truly heal without benzos.

 

I see what you are saying.... Thanks for explaining that to me....but because I'm a kindling case I was trying to hold in beginning to make some symptoms stabilize... It makes my situation much more harder to figure out how to proceed as I don't want them to escalate but feel paradoxical.... I was the one with the severe facial stuff you responded too ..and other stuff... I'm so scared...... Thanks for explaining.... Just don't want to make myself worse then I am.....

[[sk...]]

Ohh!! I totally remember that.  My facial issues actually resolved.  The only thing i really wrestle with is like a dizziness/vertigo type of thing that makes me obsess about it, instead of taking my own advice and just let it be what it is.  Yeah, I'd focus on you, and don't overly 'obsess' about whats going on.  I hope this don't sound like i'm saying you're worrying for nothing, because that's VERY much not my intent.  I just wonder sometimes what the benefit of long holds are when some folks take all that extra time to feel 'normal' just to plunge back into the hell they held out for... ya know what i mean... Who knows, I very well may get 'stuck' so to speak in a hold.  At this point, I don't know. 

 

The only advice I can give you, and things I can reassure you of, is symptoms will come, but more importantly, they will go.  You'll feel stronger and stronger.  Just go with what you can go with.  If it's .0001mg a month, so be it.  At least you're moving forward.

[[sk...]]

Actually, I don't mean to step on anyone's toes, or anything negative... and you for sure don't hanve to answer this... but do you 'believe' you are a kindling case, or have you been 'told' you're a kindling case, and you ended up just buying into it?  Again, you don't need to answer.  It's meant more as a challenge question.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Skittles,

 

The point of the hold for me is not to feel better so I can throw myself back in to hell.  It's to feel better so that I can continue to taper and feel well while doing so.  I made a couple of large cuts last year (75% and 50%) and the wd sxs were bad.  I wasn't on BB and just used common sense in holding until things settled way down.  This year I went way too fast and symptoms did catch up with me.  I don't know the science of it but I got slammed and I believe it was cumulative as I was ok thru the preceeding cuts/wks.  Had I pushed through I believe things would have gotten very bad.  I think that the brain can only take so much and sometimes needs a rest.

 

So I decided to hold again.  I felt very good after 2 months and would have cut at that point but I wanted a couple more months "off".  When I resumed taper I had only minor issues compared to prior cuts.  So I think that the hold was restorative.  I plan to resume a steady schedule but will hold again if things go sideways.

 

I do believe that we heal on the way down and if we taper in a manner that allows us to feel well that we can step off with little trouble.  There really isn't any science except what we can read about GABA and Glutamate and up-regulation, etc.  I worry about shocking the brain and causing damage by a too rapid taper.  I am not in any particular rush and choose to err on the side of caution.  There are far too many stories of protracted associated with rapid or c/t for me to chance increasing my risk.

 

If I were having a very successful experience such as yours I wouldn't be giving a hold the slightest thought.  I held last year (with zero knowledge of anything) and it worked well for me so when I ran into trouble this year it was a no-brainer.  In the end, we just need to pay attention to our body and go at our own pace - some fast and others very slow.

[[ka...]]

 

Hi v....thanks for responding....I feel the opposite of what the drug should do.... Kind of like adverse..... Severe anxiety..... Nervousness.... Panic... Very revved up physically....  Like more of a chemical anxiety.....But my mind feels very slow....

 

That's how I was feeling, which was what got me thinking, and talking with my pdoc, and whatnot, I wonder if the Valium as the 'benzo' part has helped curb the gnarly Xanax withdrawal, and now that Xanax is gone, for me anyways, do I just not need Valium anymore? 

 

I get that long holds work, but could that be simply because the brain says 'forget it, this is all im getting'... and lets go of the symptoms?  It sounds like a double edged sword in all honesty.  I mean, taper down, get thrust into withdrawal hell, recover, taper again, hell again, hold, heal, repeat.... That's where I question the validity of the loooong holds.  Again, I'm sorry if i'm just that uneducated in the long hold thing, but, why would one want to subject themselves to so many repeat holds, and not just safely push off?

 

This is exactly what I have been wondering about the long holds. I will be looking forward to seeing how the rest of Valley's cuts go following this long hold. I took the old cut, hell, recover, repeat path. But if the long holds make the rest of the journey much easier for Valley going forward, then I think it is the best way to taper.

[[Kg...]]

Skittle I am glad that you have a pace that works for you.  Everyone needs to find what works for themselves - there is no 'right answer' on how to taper.

 

Pleasebehere: I never kindled so I can't really speak to your situation. I think some people get stable after waiting on the  benzo and then can taper off and others must begin the taper not feeling well.  I was the latter - given this what I did was to find a pace that worked for me and when it stopped working I changed the way I tapered and the pace of my taper.  I went from cut and hold to a micro taper and then changed the pace of the micro taper depending on how I felt.  I did one 'long hold' due to family circumstances which left me feeling worse than when I began it so I never did this again - I just kept going down and as I went down I felt better and better. For me and others getting rid of the benzo helps us feel better and not long holds. 

 

 

[[sk...]]

Skittle I am glad that you have a pace that works for you.  Everyone needs to find what works for themselves - there is no 'right answer' on how to taper.

 

Thanks!  I'm not naive thinking this is smart by any means.  It's just working... for now.  If it keeps me through the end, AWESOME!  If I need to readjust, i'm totally ok by that.  It's just been working. 

 

Congrats btw on your jump!  How are you feeling?  I see it's been 10 days, but have you felt good/better, or are you still trudging along?

[[Kg...]]

 

 

I am feeling okay- pretty much how I felt at the end of my taper which is what I expected but I am so glad to be done.  I hope what you are doing keeps working for you. It would be a real pleasure to see someone get off with few s/x and be able to go quickly. 

 

[[Va...]]

Sorry I've been off. The power went out here for several hours. Please all I can tell you is listen to your body. My sxs have all dropped off from my last cut. It has been close to 6 months for me but after the the first 3 cuts of 2.5mg I recovered back to 100% each time. I waited 3 weeks and cut only 1 mg and was hit over and over again and barely able to function although I did manage to stay working part time. I did cut way too fast and I believe shocked my CNS pretty hard. I dropped 8.5mg in 5 weeks and threw in an opiate ct for fun. For some of us who hit the wall a hold is all we can do until the nervous system catches up. I would go faster if I could but found ou the hard way benzos are unforgiving in my case and continuing to cut would have relegated me to my bed all day. Long holds work for many but if there is any doubt, a small cut can be tried to see if you feel better or worse. If you feel worse you can always up dose and keep holding. my plan moving forward is small cuts and holding as long as necessary to stabilize completely. I know we'll all make it off no matter how we choose to do it.  --V

[[be...]]

Valley, I have to do my taper the way that has been working for me, I do not think that I will just walk off without sx's, but I do think I will be able to function and not be on bedrest, I am glad now that I found out that going faster and making big cuts made me feel so horrific and I was close to having a stroke twice, I am glad because I know what will not work for me, and I am committed to my low doses and long holds, I have less than a month to go to finish my 2 month hold then I will start again, hold etc. When I get to 1mg I am holding for 6 months. I have had blips of sx's,, nothing earth shattering like before, but doable, so I am just telling my progress from now on, I am not advising anyone how to do their taper, because in the end we will do it the way we feel best for us,, and my way may not work for some and their way will not work for me. Tapering is always going to be an individual thing. I am in no hurry at all, and I am feeling fairly well, I am thinking that my brain is happy right now, as it is being allowed to catch up and heal. 

[[an...]]

In my situation, I need to be functional because I work full time.  A slow taper with incorporated holds is working well for me.  My first taper was a smooth one with no symptoms whatsoever when I jumped.  I was fully healed.  It took me over a year and a half to taper from 0.75 mg, but it was worth it as I felt good all the way down.  This taper will take me longer, but that is because I was symptomatic when I started.  If I had to do it over again, I would have started the taper at a higher dosage. Either that, or I would have held for much longer than I did.  I did up dose a month ago due experiencing some terrible physical symptoms that did not let up after a few weeks.  I am feeling much better now, and I will continue holding for another month. I want to get off this drug, but at the same time I need to live my life without debilitating symptoms. Much healing has taken place this last year.

 

Anne

[[He...]]

Happy to say a good thing has developed..at least for today. Day 48 of my hold, My windows are still coming every evening from about 8 or 9:00 and staying with me until bedtime.

AND.....

Today my parathesia went away from about 1:30 in the afternoon and stayed away all day and into the night! Amazing! I actually felt like ME again! NORMAL!

I wonder what will happen tomorrow?

I know it could all come back, maybe it's just a big window. But it makes me happy.  I am sure glad that ValleyUm convinced me to keep holding.  (even though I nagged her and questioned her and was a real pain for the past few weeks.)

Now I am sure my brain is healing and my hold is the right thing to do.

I'm still holding at 50 days. THANK YOU  VALLEYUM, THANKYOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! :smitten: :smitten: