Your LOWEST, most HUMILIATING MOMENT in this benzo journey????

[[sa...]]

Ohhhhhh, Saraann :'( So sorry for your pain.

 

Thank you Hun.  That's a hard benzo low to forgive myself.  If I were never on that much Ativan I never would have had the poorest of judgement to mix it with my sister's Methadone - not that I don't take responsibility for my actions - I did it and I have to own it.

 

Again - teacher 2 - thank you so much for your compassion.

 

Sara

[[...]]

You all are some strong people, with amazing stories.

 

Sara, You are one tough cookie! To go through all that you have and still encourage others the way you do is a testament to your character. Don't ever sell yourself short. You should try and forgive yourself, you have paid your dues.

 

pj

 

 

[[st...]]

Hi Sara,

 

Thank you for sharing. I can feel your pain remembering the incident.

 

I've had so many humiliating moments... too many to recall.

 

  Ilana.

[[sa...]]

You all are some strong people, with amazing stories.

 

Sara, You are one tough cookie! To go through all that you have and still encourage others the way you do is a testament to your character. Don't ever sell yourself short. You should try and forgive yourself, you have paid your dues.

 

pj

 

 

 

Hi pj,

 

so you think I'm one tough cookie, huh?  Thanks Hun!    There are allot of tough cookies on here - you have to be to survive all of this.  Do you have a blog pj?  You must, I'll try to find it.  I'd like to read your story.

 

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement and if I can help somebody along the way, that makes me feel good.  But it's hard to forgive myself for so many of the stupid things I've done - granted, some of it was not my fault - I've had some pretty awful Psych docs who subjected me to what I consider "psychiatric experiments" over the years with medications like Zyprexa, Seroquel, Lithium, Adderal and of course many ssris's and snriris (that worked great in my 30's and early 40's) until I made a really stupid choice.... and of course benzos - all to treat depression and anxiety - not psychosis.  Add about 30 ECT treatments into the mix and it's a wonder I have any brain left all all.  We all have our stories.

 

Well, until I read your blog, I don;t quite know where you're at as are as recovery/w/d. tapering or what your situation is, but I hope you're fairing as well as possible. 

 

Sara

[[sa...]]

Hi Sara,

 

Thank you for sharing. I can feel your pain remembering the incident.

 

I've had so many humiliating moments... too many to recall.

 

   Ilana.

 

Hi Ilana - what a pretty name.

 

You're very welcome for sharing - I know I'm not the only one who has had such lows, and yes, it's still painful when I think about the many lows I've hit.  I just want to move forward and get better.

 

I'm sorry you've had your share of humiliating momens also.  It's so easy to recall them, yet so easy to dismiss, and assert the effort to forgive ourselves and remember  all the good we've done in the world - at our jobs, as spouses, parents, as good sons and daughters, loving and caring for others and going the extra mile to help those in need.  We've got to remind ourselves of the postive things we've accoplished before benzos took over our lives - we weren't always like this.

 

 

I hope to hear from you again and will try to find your blog.

 

Again, thank you 

 

Sara

 

[[...]]

I never started a blog, sara. I went c/t almost 8 months ago and am feeling so much better now. I feel like I am about 80% healed from what the Benzos did to me.

 

Before I leave BenzoBuddies, I hope to post in the success forum and tell my story.

 

I wish you the very best, saraann

 

pj