Cold turkey Hospital lawsuit?

[[Ju...]]

That would be a wise decision for me at this point, just to leave it all alone. I wouldn't have any stress if I did so. What I have decided to do is let it die down for a while and see how much media attention benzos get in the next year or two. And if I see something worth tackling in my free time, I will. Otherwise, I'm not going to be calling the lawyers all day. I've got better things to do right now.

[[Ma...]]

That would be a wise decision for me at this point, just to leave it all alone. I wouldn't have any stress if I did so. What I have decided to do is let it die down for a while and see how much media attention benzos get in the next year or two. And if I see something worth tackling in my free time, I will. Otherwise, I'm not going to be calling the lawyers all day. I've got better things to do right now.

 

Sounds logical and wise to me. Choose the battlefield when you feel strong, not wounded.

[[Ju...]]

I've never heard that before, but very true and great advice.

[[ea...]]

That you were given 8 mgs of Kpin a day is simply outrageous. Having said that, I will also say that I know in MY case, the way I presented myself to the psych doc told him I NEEDED so much benzos. I came across as anxious and depressed. And I was, but I do have to admit I may have played this up a bit simply to get my damn benzos.

Just, I am an old hippie lady. Dealt with all sorts of drugs over the years. You name it, and I took it. Thankfully, not for very long. Pot made me psychotic, so did LSD. Meth? OMG, loved it but its addictiveness was off the charts. Only took it a couple months. I got lucky on that drug. But NOT with benzos. To be honest, Just, I didnt think of them as "drugs." I know that sounds crazy. I saw them as "useful tools." I had had chronic insomnia all of my life. Benzos allowed me to sleep, and that is the ONLY reason I kept taking them. I never took them for a "high." ONLY for sleep. For thirty years I did that and in that time I also drank way too much beer. Maybe 20 of those thirty years. Am I a "troubled person?" Hell, yes., I know this and I know WHY I am. Its plain that I have always resorted to drugs to "fix me." And of course, they only made things much worse. I sense you are much like me. Just a lot younger!

Going CT off 8 mgs of Kpin must have been just as bad as MY ct was. Horrendous. I had NO idea benzo wd could be like that. It came as an enormous shock to this old nurse. No one had ever told me about this. I didnt read it, didnt learn it in school. For heavens sake, I worked in a Detox for a year and never once heard about this! Imagine MY shock and horror. I look back on that first couple months and honestly, the horror was so bad it made me compare it to the horrors shown in the movie "Apoclypse (SP?)Now."  Martin Sheen and Marlon Brando. That is how bad my cold turkey was. "The horror, the horror" rang so true to me. I honestly didnt think it was POSSIBLE to feel that sick, crazy and out of it.

But the good part is that going through this taught me SO much. Honestly, I got another chance at living life more normally. And you? You are so young, you have SO much more life to live. Please learn how to live without resorting to one drug or another to get by. Its just not worth it.

east

[[Ju...]]

East, yeah I'm with you on that, I didn't know it could get that bad either. In the past, I had gone cold turkey on my meds a few times, both in the hospital and out of the hospital at my house. Each time, it felt like the worst paranoia and anxiety that you've ever had. But this last time coming off of the major dose of Klonopin and Kratom and primidone all at the same time, it was hell on Earth.

 

Coming off of normal amounts of Valium in the past, like 40 mg a day, did not even compare at all. It was more just horrible anxiety and panic symptoms along with paranoia where I didn't want to be around anybody. But I don't remember any ring in my ears or burning up or any of those other weird symptoms.

 

And yes it was an extremely high dose of Klonopin, 8 mg a day and they were all 1 mg tablets and I would break them in the house so that's 16 1/2 mg tablets per day. And towards the end, I would take a couple extra as needed because I had a lot of emergency backups and the Kratom was making me extremely shaky and paranoid in itself.

 

I got myself locked into a drug binge, I just didn't know it was going to get that bad. And then I started to regret it. You can Google red Bali or red vein Borneo, and that's what I was taking for pain, and it's not the first time. At first it's just an herb, you don't think much of it.

 

It's similar to a Vicodin if I had to compare it, that's how it makes you feel. But if you take extremely large amounts so that you can get rid of pain even more, and so that it doesn't wear off, you start to have stimulant effects as well. So then you get pain relief as well as stimulation, but then it turns into paranoia. Too much of an herb and you start to get paranoid kind of like with marijuana. Well it depends on the person and the strain but you know what I'm saying.

 

Needless to say, then I was in this really bad habit of getting up and taking lots of Kratom and then taking another Klonopin and then more Kratom and then another Klonopin and so on. So I had went over my amount that I was supposed to take for the day. So roughly eighteen doses of Klonopin per day at the end. Sometimes a little bit more sometimes a little bit less.

 

And that's when I knew I had a serious problem on my hands because usually I had tons of meds left over at the end of the month. And I couldn't get off the Kratom even though it's just an herb, I was having a worse time than I did with prescription opiates. So then I started calling detox centers trying to get them to detox me off of just that but they wouldn't because you can't pick and choose.

 

And then I realized I had a huge problem on my hands, I was screwed. I couldn't keep doing this in life it was too much. And then I started experiencing psychosis because of So Many Meds and kratom. So then I went to the hospital and they took me off of everything. They left me on 20 mg of propranolol per day. That was it.

 

So then I was coming off of massive amounts of Kratom as well as massive amounts of Klonopin, and massive amounts of primidone, a barbituate as well. Primidone is not controlled but it has phenobarbital in it as a metabolite.

 

Well, I ended up going into psychosis and I was in and out of seclusion the entire Hospital stay. I was completely out of my mind walking around the hospital yelling and punching windows and hitting the walls and stuff. Not my normal self at all. And then there was three hospital stays total, another one after the first and another one after that.

 

So on the last hospital stay, I was there for an entire month. I was completely out of my mind and wanted to stay there longer. I wanted to keep trying new meds even though none of them worked and I knew it. That's how far gone I was, I was locked in a psychiatric hospital not getting any good treatment and wanted to stay anyway even though I could go home.

 

Well of course they discharged me after about a month, because I shouldn't have been there that long in the first place, and came home and it's been hell on Earth up until recently. I really don't have words to describe it, it's not normal. It's actually worse than normal benzo withdrawal if that means anything. Like it was more of a bad trip than anything. Only worse than a bad trip, more like hell.

 

And I don't know how I didn't die at certain times, but I'm alive and it's been 10 months so there's no way in hell I'm going back ever, never. Never take that high of a dose whether it's prescribed or not. I had lots of doctors at the hospitals point that out as well, that it's way too high of a dose even if it's prescribed.