Fakeit's Success Story - Time is the ultimate healer

[[Fa...]]

Bump

 

[[Fa...]]

Hello again!

I'm now at about the 4 year mark and life is still beautiful.

I recently moved to PA from FL because my husband and I are getting divorced. Not withdrawal related, but so far the stress of it all hasn't thrown me into any waves or anything.

 

If anything,  I find myself handing it pretty well because of having gone through withdrawal. I have the tools now to check my emotions, a therapist I never stopped seeing when I healed, and knowing when I need to just rest and take care of myself.

 

Once you make it through the pain of withdrawal, you can accomplish things and get through things SO much better. But that also takes not having a victim mentality.

 

I pray for everyone on this site 🙏

 

May you always know you will heal. Look for the light. Take captive your thoughts. Don't simply rely on time. Do things that will help your neurotransmitters that were carpet bombed grow back with positive thoughts, beautiful scenes, as much rest as you can get. Feed your brain positive stuff!!

 

Hugs

Fakeit

[[Pa...]]

I'm sorry to hear about your marriage but I'm glad you're able to get through it, I agree with you, after benzo withdrawal and recovery, some of the nastier challenges life throws at us are a little easier to navigate.

 

Thank you for letting us know how you're doing, so many need to know we can and do recover. 

[[Mi...]]

FakeIt,

 

"May you always know you will heal. Look for the light. Take captive your thoughts. Don't simply rely on time. Do things that will help your neurotransmitters that were carpet bombed grow back with positive thoughts, beautiful scenes, as much rest as you can get. Feed your brain positive stuff!!"  ---- I LOVE THIS !

 

Thank you FakeIt for returning with an update. These are like PRICELESS GEMS when people come back after awhile with positive things to share.

 

I am sorry you've had to endure a life challange such as divorce, but recovering from withdrawal gives us one of those many gifts, or "new found super powers" if you will, that puts a new spin on life challenges making them easier to handle. I too have been able to experience that more and more as I move along in my recovery.

 

It's good to see someone ahead of me (by 9 months) share such encouraging words.

 

Thank you.

-Fortitude

[[La...]]

FakeIt I’m very sorry that your marriage is ending. I pray that you will be alright. I’ve gone through this in the very worst part of my recovery. It is extremely difficult to stay grounded with many devastating things happening while in WD. I’m so glad that you seem to have a positive outlook as well as coping tools to get you through. I hope you enjoy your new life in FL. Please continue to take good care of yourself. I wish you the absolute best in your life.

Big hugs! 🤗

[[Mi...]]

Fakeit,

 

I just ran into a post of yours from May of 2019 and you were struggling then. To see how far you have come is absolutely amazing! Back then, you said you had dizziness. Did that ever go away for you? If so how long did you deal with the dizziness?

 

Thanks

Fortitude

[[Fa...]]

I honestly don't remember dizziness being extreme or lasting long.  I hope your dizziness subsides for you soon. Stay hydrated and make sure you're eating healthy.

 

Hugs

[[La...]]

Fakeit I hope you don’t mind my asking if you got hit hard around 28 months? Especially with new symptoms and more intense waves? I really could use some encouragement.

Thanks!

I’m very happy for you that you’re doing well. I’m looking forward to being healed too. Hopefully this is my “ ugliness” before I do some major healing that I’ve seen happening on this forum around my timeframe.

Big hugs 🤗

[[ei...]]

Leann, yes the AD's did make me MUCH worse. I could not stay on them so only used them for about six months. Only you know if they are good or bad for you. Talk with you Dr. and do what's best for you.

I ended up with two "clocks". One from my last day of a benzo (February 2018) and then another since my last AD. (July 10, 2018)

I honestly believe some people have a paradoxial reaction to psychological medications. My Dr. And therapist both believe I fall into that group. I was blessed with a therapist that actually looked it up in medical books and showed me that it's a thing.

Even my neurologist came around and said yes he believes it was caused by the medications.

He couldn't say that until he watched me heal; which took years. But I healed.

 

I also fall in this category, antidepressants did not help at all. Thinking of stopping the one I am taking now for a month

[[Fa...]]

Wow. I haven't even thought of this place in so long!

I came back today to answer a personal message someone sent me.

It's so amazing how sharing our stories can help others so much.

I am still doing beyond amazing.

Every single morning I wake up and thank God for my life, the sleep, and my beautiful healed brain.

I will find myself driving and "remember" going through the brain damage. You can call it withdrawal, but being a short term user, withdrawal sounds line I was addicted to benzos or something. I wasn't.

The prescribed medication, taken for insomnia, used as presribed, carpet bombed my brain and my neurotransmitters had to grow back and learn how to function again. It sounds so simple, yet it stole years from my life.

I will never regret it though because of how I let the experience grow me into a better, stronger person.

.hang in there! You're going to heal.

You're going to be better than fine.

You're going to be the piece of coal that transforms into a diamond from the journey.

Relax.

Relax.

Breathe.

It's okay to not be okay.

Relax.

Relax.

Acceptance is SO important while you heal..

You are where you are.

Accept it.

Relax.

Time will pass.

 

You're going to be okay.

 

 

[[ei...]]

"Short stint with AD's. (less than 6 months)"

 

Thanks for the encouraging reply.

 

How did you feel when on AD's? How do you differentiate its horrible side effects from benzo withdrawal?

 

I am in a hard place and not sure if some of my complains are benzo withdrawal or AD side effects.

 

I would like to come off of the one month stint on my latest AD too...

 

Thanks

[[Fa...]]

"How did you feel when you were on the AD's"?

 

Honestly?  I had a VERY paradoxical reaction to them (reverse reaction).

They made me suicidal.

I'll never forget Mother's Day of that year.

I was on the AD they wanted me to try, my oldest daughter was graduating college 1,000 miles away and I absolutely could not fathom getting on a plane and flying - then getting a rental car - booking a hotel, etc.  My brain was SO damaged it was impossible.

We went to church that day and I had to go to the front of the church and be prayed on because my BRAIN was telling me I wanted to die.

But through it all my HEART KNEW I wanted to live, more than anything in this world.

 

Through it all I never forget who I was at the core.

I knew I was still inside, fighting to heal, and that I WOULD heal.

I just had no idea it would take as long as it did.

 

Please, hang in there.

Follow your heart, not your damaged brain.

Your brain WILL heal if you feed it the right emotions, fuel, positive energy, and HOPE.

 

 

[[ei...]]

Thank you for the reply.

 

Others will say AD's make you feel worse at first, that is totally unacceptable. Will ask my doc if I can go on a lower dose on my current AD - Vortioxetine, and possibly taper. I've been through Lexapro, Prozac, Buspirone, Abilify, Lamictal in the past 8 months after the 3 month Xanax.