Checking into an inpatient tomorrow—please help

[[NH...]]

The stress is killing your ability to sleep right now. I used to have SEVERE insomnia and I figured out the fix for it to a point where I can sleep any time I want now, I could wake up and go right back to sleep if needed, I'll share what I discovered.

 

If you are stressed out you can't sleep. Your subconscious is in "Fight or flight" mode and it so it keeps you up.

 

When you lay down don't think about anything related to your real life. Use your imagination and picture a blank movie screen, nothing else, no other thoughts, just that image.

From there start to watch a favorite TV show or movie on the screen and if it helps you make it interesting inject yourself into the show and interact with it, all using imagination.

If you catch yourself thinking about real life things, catch it as soon as you can and reset to the blank screen. Pick up in your "story" again where you left off or start over, it doesn't matter so long as you are NOT thinking about any real life issues.

If your mind is racing too much to even hold the blank screen in your imagination for a second you might need to get up and do something to relax the mind before you try again. I used to use ASMR videos on youTube and a cheap gaming headset to slow my mind down. A hot bath or shower, meditation, or other tricks to relax and relieve tension can help, it may take a bit to find what works best for you.

 

When you read about insomnia they advice people don't watch TV, use the computer or anything that basically chalks up to "Stimulating the mind." It's ok advice but there is no understanding in that, and no explanation as to "why."

 

I used to lay in bed and think "Tomorrow is going to be rough, I have to do X, Y, and Z. I hope I don't have to put up with so and so or such and such."

I would think about what time it was and do crap like, "If I fall asleep now I will get X hours of sleep...that is going to make tomorrow difficult." or I would lay there and make a checklist of all the things I needed to do.

 

The point is I was thinking about real life and issues or problems that I had to deal with. I thought I was just using the time to think, and didn't realize I was actually keeping myself awake by doing so.

 

Take a hot shower, do some controlled breathing for 5 minutes or so after, get yourself as relaxed as you can and then go into as strong of a daydream as you can. No thinking about real life and it's problems, you can do that after you wake up.

6 months from now you are going to feel GREAT, and everything is going to be so much better than it is now. You just need some time to heal bud.

[[sa...]]

I haven't read all the replies, just want to offer my sympathy.

 

I also cold turkeyed ativan in a December, and a few months later tried mirtazapine.  It made me feel so much worse.  I couldn't sleep, I was hot, irritable and my heart raced.  I was only taking 7.5mg, too.  It's just not the right thing for me.  You know that mirtazapine is SNRI.  It increases your norepinephrine level.  And norepinephrine is the "activate" chemical that work you up and increase anxiety.  I was rather surprised after I learned that.  Why doctors would prescribe such things for people with anxiety.

 

Anyway I was much better off without mirtazapine and maybe you'll feel better, too.  It's probably just not the right med for you.

[[pu...]]

I haven't read all the replies, just want to offer my sympathy.

 

I also cold turkeyed ativan in a December, and a few months later tried mirtazapine.  It made me feel so much worse.  I couldn't sleep, I was hot, irritable and my heart raced.  I was only taking 7.5mg, too.  It's just not the right thing for me.  You know that mirtazapine is SNRI.  It increases your norepinephrine level.  And norepinephrine is the "activate" chemical that work you up and increase anxiety.  I was rather surprised after I learned that.  Why doctors would prescribe such things for people with anxiety.

 

Anyway I was much better off without mirtazapine and maybe you'll feel better, too.  It's probably just not the right med for you.

 

Thank you so much for all of these replies. I really am overwhelmed with gratitude.

 

I do not think an inpatient is a good option for me at present. I don’t think, I’m my fragile state, that I can handle the stress of being in that environment. I am not a danger to myself or anyone else, so perhaps if I can find a less drastic option later this month, that might be a better idea for me now.

[[Fo...]]

PH

I often think I must go in but unlike twenty years ago it’s not well staffed or sympathetic.

Phones and I pads are banned and the food pretty grim. In 2015 I was surrounded by alcoholics and addicts and even paying for care I had only two half hour chats a week. The rest of the time was aimlessly trying to avoid the poor folk being pinned down and medicated.

Certainly being at home alone with awful thoughts is hard but we can at least plan our own destiny!

Best wishes wherever you decide. 

Yours

Dick

[[Mo...]]

My experience with mirtazapine was horrible many years ago, before I was even on a benzo.  It worked for about 2-3 weeks and then it made me jittery, anxious, angry, etc.  I was on it for about 4-5 weeks and then quickly tapered off in a week.  It threw me into a tailspin even worse than what I was in before.  I will NEVER go on that again, though it's been suggested MANY times.  It's not you - it's the meds!!!  I am feeling bi-polar also but it's the "acute" withdrawal that I'm feeling in this taper, which I had taken a break from.  I know I'm NOT bi-polar.