Face paralysis, neck tension, and other fun stuff

[Guest [...]]

Hi,

 

Thanks for the replies.  They certainly help.

 

The facial numbness has subsided a bit, so that’s good. 

 

I swear benzo withdrawal symptoms are the crap version of the everlasting gobstopper. Different day different symptom.  Today’s flavor is adrenaline dump.. so sever everything is a threat, mostly my thoughts, a catastrophe waiting to happen.

 

The idea of enduring this for months or years creates its own apprehension.

 

Gotta keep moving forward.

 

Peace

 

So true!!!

 

And, i've had the right eye, right trigeminal neuralgia since my c/t which did not subside upon reinstatement.  Time im hoping....

[[Mu...]]

Ok 151 crazy brutal days but progress too.

 

I can listen to music for the first time in forever without a sound track following me around for days and nights. Facial paralysis down about 99%. Intrusive thoughts are clearing up, and short term memory a bit better. Insomnia still sucks, but not as bad. Numb patch on my back around 10% of the time, maybe more. If I accidentally ate something with MSG a month ago I would screwed for a day, now about an hour...eating clean, at home is the best bet. Focus still off and easily distracted. Experiencing a wider range of emotions.

 

New burning patch on my thigh is so bad at night I’ve woken up yelling out. Unbelievable.  The weight loss has finally stopped, after 37 lbs.

 

 

[[oc...]]

I just saw this thread. I had a lot of this stuff when I first when into withdrawal. I had the face numbness one night, that goodness it was only one night. I had legs go numb and arms go numb. I had the burning spots that you are talking about but they never lasted long.

 

It seems the insomnia and other physical pain has been the roughest for me.

 

But I was reading your thread here and Im glad you are getting better. This reassures people who are just now going thru it.

 

Take care and heal soon.

[[ea...]]

Hi eastcoast62,

 

I understand I’m a short timer but it feels like it’s been 106 years. The nights are so damn long and the waking moments are tortuous.  I keep hearing acceptance and I accept this sucks.

 

Mush

 

 

You have this right on. Benzo WD can feel like it will never end. Just about everyone thinks they are the worst case known. And yes, acceptance is important but it does suck! LOL! I didnt sleep normally for an entire year. NO lie. I did just have to accept this and try to deal with it without killing  myself. Which I did consider, several times. I just felt that awful. Bombarded with symptoms so many I still haven't counted them. Over time they all faded away. But waiting for that to happen was excruciating.

 

Many people on BB have described BWD as a wild rollercoaster ride. Ups and downs and all arounds. I like the simile of a maze. A horrific maze. One you cannot find your way through and it just terrifies you. You keep on going, hoping it will become obvious how to get out. But it takeas you much longer than you thought.

Dont give up, guys. Better days are coming.

east

 

[[Mu...]]

Roller coaster ihrough the abyss. For me on this ride is the looping thoughts, insomnia  and weight loss are the crappuest parts.

 

The numb face, hands, back, nipple.  Yes nipple.  Burning skin, clumsiness, absentmindedness, hair loss, jaw clenching etc etc effin etc I can deal with.  This crap has aged me.

[[Wi...]]

Hi and thanks for the reply.

 

I did the mirror check and it’s not symmetrical.  Maybe just a few mm’s off, but it’s off.

 

Between this and the intrusive thoughts kicking in again I’m at a low point. The phenobarbital is leaving my system and the withdrawal symptoms are hitting me hard. I have vistaril to help but it makes me drowsy.

 

I feel like  Im watching my life go down the drain in slow motion. From my business, marriage, health, I can’t seem to catch a damn break. On the benzo I didn’t care about anything, off I’m worrying about things that I have no control over, which is overwhelming and making it near impossible to focus on what I do have control over. It’s vicious.

 

Friday &  Saturday were good days, yesterday not so much and today has been rough.

 

MB

 

 

 

 

You state “the phenonarb is leaving my system.” Didnt you stop pheno months ago? It should be well out of your system by now.

[[RE...]]

Mushbrain

 

I was following your post and like others said, it seems like all your symptoms are withdrawal.  I was specifically interested about the numbness and tics on your left chick you mentioned.  Mind is a bit different in that I feel something is wrong with the nerves connected to my left eye and ear.  When I'm in a wave, I feel pain and inflammation around and including my left eye as well as nerve/vein crossing down my left year.  Probably my most annoying and disturbing symptom but we got to take it one day at a time and believe that we will come out on top.  On a side note, would be interested to know if anyone has a similar experience.

[[Mu...]]

REqcrg,

 

The facial numbness has all but disappeared, but below my bottom right lip sometimes. Withdrawal has changed my face.  All the weight loss and stress. On a good note, not an ounce of fat on me, and finally working out again I’m up to 3 days a week. Goal is to add 20lbs by May 1.

 

I am so proud of everyone out there fighting to recover, this isn’t easy.

 

Ps as for the phenobarbital, that post was when I just started my road through hell.

 

 

[[RE...]]

Mushbrain

I am so happy for you that most of it is gone.  I'm sure things will even get better from here on.

[[bo...]]

I am still dealing with facial paralysis at nearly a year off. I look perfectly normal though.

[[Mu...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I’m 226 days out, and my mental symptoms are a lot better. I likenedthem to OCD on steroids. Ruminations from hell finally stopped. I have been under a level of stress due to multiple external crises that I thought were going to kill me. But I have survived.

 

Facial tics only when I’m mentally exhausted.  Numb patch on my back completely gone. Finally.

 

MSG kicks my ass.  It’s unbelievable what that does to me. Cannot even eat a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich with my children.  Msg is the second ingredient in all peanut butter. Who knew?

 

Insomnia is still a problem for which I started taking seoquel 25mg in January, now off completely. Getting at least 5 hours plus a nap everyday.  Sure do miss sleeping 8 hours straight.

 

In March things kinda stopped and were not getting better, stuck, miserable, angry, I started looking to treat the underlying PTSD I’ve battled for a long time which was blown out of proportion while using benzodiazepines and even worse after. In January tried a DBT training class and therapy. Ha.  Not a chance of coping with the thoughts, CBT made it worse because talking about the ruminations empowered them.

 

So.. In late March I started ketamine infusion therapy and received 6 treatments over a 2 week period. It was intense and  emotionally and psychologically painful, particularly the last treatment. I cried for 2 days after the last one. . Grown ass man sobbing like a baby. Expensive and not covered by insurance, but life changing.  I think differently now. It’s weird.

 

It’s been a month since I completed treatment and I’m feeling better than I have in years. Still have a ways to go, but I know the symptoms are not forever. Finally.  I’m not sure if it was just the passage of time or the ketamine treatment but I can feel myself growing stronger and mentally clearer every single day.

 

I am in no hurry but excited to see what the next few months to a year brings.  Life without benzodiazepines  is a far better life.  I’ll never take any type of “mild sedative” or even drink again.  Clarity is my life long goal.

 

Hang in there everyone. 

 

Mushbrain

 

 

 

 

[[Le...]]

Mushbrain,

 

I am so happy for you! How did you find out about Ketamine? I am very interested in hearing more about this treatment but you have done a great job relating about your personal experience.  I was wondering if you had any resources that gave you the information on it or how you made the decision to try it?  You made a great decision and that took guts!  I really appreciate you coming back and updating us.  Thank you!

[[Mu...]]

Hi Leslie,

 

I’ll try and answer as best I can.  I liken my intrusive thoughts to OCD on steroids. It was nonstop hell for months.  Thinking about what had happened and could happen all day long.  Going over things in minute detail to discern meaning and motive trying to predict the future,  Catastrophizing.

 

Funny enough that OCD led me to read and research everything I could about benzo withdrawal, rebound anxiety, PTSD, OCD.  I concluded. FOR ME, and I realized this early on in withdrawal if you care to go back and read, that my withdrawal symptoms were rebounds of why I took the benzo in the first place, magnified by 1000. The underlying bullshit I hadn’t dealt with was being smeared in my face every moment of every day, even in my dreams. With my gaba receptors down regulated there was nothing to stop what was pre existing from flooding my mind.

 

I know a retired military man that underwent ketamine treatment a few years ago for his PTSD. This is one tough and experienced old bird that was being tormented by his tours and time in theater.  It’s always been in the back of my mind.

 

My research on PTSD led me to OCD being a symptom of PTSD and then I researched effective treatments.  I wasn’t interested in meds, other than seroquel for sleep I won’t even take Advil, exposure therapy hasn’t worked, nor has talk therapy, DBT or CBT. In fact they made it worse. Like stirring the pot.

 

After researching ketamine for a couple months and reading intently on its efficacy and how it was fast tracked by the FDA due to the results on soldiers suffering from PTSD I decided to take the risk, I am not one to sit on my ass and wait this out. My entire life was going down the drain...sloooowly and I couldn’t do a thing but watch it is how I felt.  Life sucked. A lot. Constant anger, frustration and fear that this crap caused and I thought would never end. No way am I living like this, waiting around like a damn prisoner to my own thoughts.

 

From what I have read ketamine is highly effective for treatment resistant depression, often after a single treatment. I would say me taking a benzo for almost a decade classified my symptoms on benzo as treatment resistant. Worse off in withdrawal. Same goes for ptsd , anxiety and symptoms of OCD which I believe are caused by the ptsd.  “A leading theory proposes that it stimulates regrowth of synapses (connections between neurons), effectively rewiring the brain.“

 

 

The experience with ketamine was transformative, for me.  Almost immediately. Prior I couldn’t do any mindless task without my mind turning on itself. The moment I tried to clean up, pressure wash, drive, watch TV the ruminating kicked into high gear.  I lived and breathed worry and fear.

 

Those days are gone. My mind is at ease for the first time in a decade.

 

My experience, your mileage may vary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Le...]]

Thank you sooo much! My withdrawals have been and continue to be more physical but I did have those ruminating thoughts (crazy dreams too) so I can very much relate. I am supporting others who have this symptom and really appreciate your insights. That is so wonderful that it worked for you ... knowing that mental health is just like physical health in that we still need to stay consistent with the new habits after getting our health back.  Good for you!!!