Feeling "mentally ill" again, worried it's not withdrawal.

[[He...]]

I know everything you mentioned and Ive experienced it.

 

With time is going way. But it is basically you have to practice dont care about thoughts and focus in the world, not thoughts.

 

When something doesnt happen how you want what you have to do is:

 

-> force yourself thinking in the thoughts/mental images/feeling/mental operation you dont want to have. Stay there with it focused in it during some time until you change the bad feeling that comes with it. Dont let yourself perform a compulsion or anything after it. Just think in it focused and give the correct answer to it, a positive one, a rational one and let the other thoughts that come with it go away.

 

-> Do the SAME for the trigger of such thought. You have to understand what were you thinking before it.

 

So you remove the thoughts that come after it, and by doing the same with the trigger, you are lowering the probibility of thinking in the thought if the trigger appears in your mind.

 

A given thought can have different triggers.  Trigger can also be images, thoughts, feelings, images, physical places...

 

But you shoul nt be always doing it. You do it when it happens. But otherwise, you should not be worried with your thoughts. Just assume that everytime you think in something you will be able to understand it in the moment, so you odnt need to be worried with it.

 

Then refocus in the world. When it happens, apply the method.

 

Do this OVER AND OVER AGAIN....

 

My brain is like 99% healed from OCD after almost 2 years of WD and batteling with ocd... When you understand it it is a question of time. Practice and practice and practice and accept falure...

 

over time the brain will be as you want. Believe me.

 

 

[[Fa...]]

I agree with you there, Jeff. The mental symptoms are what scare me, especially lately. The fear is overwhelming, but it isn't really fear about anything in particular. I just feel really out of it and I keep getting lost in my head. My mind is out of control and I'm unable to control my thoughts or think rationally. It's such a strange place to be in, because I've always been a very level-headed, rational person. I've always felt like I was very much in control and have never had issues with my thoughts or the way that I think.. But now I'm constantly left with this sensation that I could lose my mind and go insane at any moment.. It's just this constant feeling that I'm gripping tightly to my sanity and my brain wants me to feel as though everything is at stake. I find myself fixating on and being afraid of every sensation, thought, idea etc. It's so unlike me and I haven't found a way to battle through it, all we can really do is accept and continue to live on.

 

I had to come back to this thread because I am doing SO MUCH BETTER!!

I took a photo of this post and sent it to my sister who is a psyche nurse, to describe to her exactly how I felt. I couldn't put it into words.  This sunmed it up.

But it went away!  You will heal.

One of the keys for me has been limiting my time here unless it's reading positive stuff. Distractions...but they helped minimally because the thoughts still came. I hate saying what I read so many times...time will heal. Time will help. It seems so cliche and doesn't help when you are in the thick of it. But the brain heals. Just like if you are traumatized in another way or see something horrific that you can't get over for months...it passes eventually!

Take a deep breath and know it will go away

[[Gw...]]

I had to come back to this thread because I am doing SO MUCH BETTER!!

I took a photo of this post and sent it to my sister who is a psyche nurse, to describe to her exactly how I felt. I couldn't put it into words.  This sunmed it up.

But it went away!  You will heal.

One of the keys for me has been limiting my time here unless it's reading positive stuff. Distractions...but they helped minimally because the thoughts still came. I hate saying what I read so many times...time will heal. Time will help. It seems so cliche and doesn't help when you are in the thick of it. But the brain heals. Just like if you are traumatized in another way or see something horrific that you can't get over for months...it passes eventually!

Take a deep breath and know it will go away

 

How encouraging!

 

Thank you, FakeItTilYouMakeIt. I'm glad to hear you're feeling so much better.

 

Best,

Gwinna

[[Lo...]]

The troubling thoughts do happen through this a lot:

 

http://benzosupport.org/my_troubling_thoughts.htm

What I've Felt:

 

"You feel like your mind is not your own -- that it's rapid-firing strange, intrusive thoughts come at you without your permission, especially when you sit still. You may fixate on certain ideas and images, rewinding, then replaying them, in your mind's eye, despite an over-arching desire for stillness, for peace."

 

"I've felt like my brain was a runaway train, with my thoughts splitting off into puzzling parades of fuzzy cognition.  I don't seem to see the world for what it truly is: it's as if I'm seeing things through a bug-spattered windshield, and the thoughts fly random and fast. None have been pleasant." - Matt

[[Li...]]

The troubling thoughts do happen through this a lot:

 

http://benzosupport.org/my_troubling_thoughts.htm

What I've Felt:

 

"You feel like your mind is not your own -- that it's rapid-firing strange, intrusive thoughts come at you without your permission, especially when you sit still. You may fixate on certain ideas and images, rewinding, then replaying them, in your mind's eye, despite an over-arching desire for stillness, for peace."

 

"I've felt like my brain was a runaway train, with my thoughts splitting off into puzzling parades of fuzzy cognition.  I don't seem to see the world for what it truly is: it's as if I'm seeing things through a bug-spattered windshield, and the thoughts fly random and fast. None have been pleasant." - Matt

 

Thank you so much for this, it was very helpful.

 

 

I agree with you there, Jeff. The mental symptoms are what scare me, especially lately. The fear is overwhelming, but it isn't really fear about anything in particular. I just feel really out of it and I keep getting lost in my head. My mind is out of control and I'm unable to control my thoughts or think rationally. It's such a strange place to be in, because I've always been a very level-headed, rational person. I've always felt like I was very much in control and have never had issues with my thoughts or the way that I think.. But now I'm constantly left with this sensation that I could lose my mind and go insane at any moment.. It's just this constant feeling that I'm gripping tightly to my sanity and my brain wants me to feel as though everything is at stake. I find myself fixating on and being afraid of every sensation, thought, idea etc. It's so unlike me and I haven't found a way to battle through it, all we can really do is accept and continue to live on.

 

I had to come back to this thread because I am doing SO MUCH BETTER!!

I took a photo of this post and sent it to my sister who is a psyche nurse, to describe to her exactly how I felt. I couldn't put it into words.  This sunmed it up.

But it went away!  You will heal.

One of the keys for me has been limiting my time here unless it's reading positive stuff. Distractions...but they helped minimally because the thoughts still came. I hate saying what I read so many times...time will heal. Time will help. It seems so cliche and doesn't help when you are in the thick of it. But the brain heals. Just like if you are traumatized in another way or see something horrific that you can't get over for months...it passes eventually!

Take a deep breath and know it will go away

 

I'm really glad to hear that you're doing better.

 

I hope to join you soon.

 

My thoughts did slowly get better here and there, although I still struggle with them. But my "main" fixation currently is breathing anxiety. It used to just be a "manual breathing" or being acutely aware of breathing.. But it's graduated into being afraid of the way that I breathe, for whatever irrational reason. Instead of just noticing and feeling my breathing with partial control, the anxiety has amped up and feels like I have to control each and every breath, along with my body trying to exhale too much, which causes panic sensations and heart palps, I hate it. Not really sure what this is or why it's happening, but doc thoroughly looked me over and found nothing after tests.

[[Al...]]

It's such a strange place to be in, because I've always been a very level-headed, rational person. I've always felt like I was very much in control and have never had issues with my thoughts or the way that I think. It's so unlike me and I haven't found a way to battle through it, all we can really do is accept and continue to live on.

OK, there we have it. This is not you.  Your history shows that this is not at all an accurate representation of you.  This has got to be the result of the chronic presence of Klonopin in your system for a very long time, which has caused your brain to undergo physical adaptive changes, and those changes can take a very long time to reverse themselves.  This, right now, is not you.  And this is not I.  But we are still in there, somewhere.  And we will return.  We have to believe the people in the success stories!  We need an extra-heavy dose of faith!!  Peace.  -Jeff

 

Man this was good! Thanks mate!

[[Si...]]

Man this was good! Thanks mate!

Thank you for reading it and commenting.  Peace to you.  -Jeff